


Snare

by CaraRose



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: And less in a toss the pages in the air kind of way and more of a I put the script in a blender, Dark!Creepy!Luke, F/M, It's hard to explain, Neither side is black or white, On Purpose, Slow Burn, TFA flip script, characters that are just slightly out of character, everyone is morally grey, you'll understand once you read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2018-10-15 01:38:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 116,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10547840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaraRose/pseuds/CaraRose
Summary: A flip script of TFA.Kylo walked into a trap set up by the Resistance when the First Order raided San Tekka's village. He's now found himself alone in the desert, on a planet crawling with Resistance and Resistance allies and a bounty on his head that is going to have the locals all interested in capturing him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I am not going to start a second fic while I'm also writing that other big one that I can't figure out a title for. Maybe I'll just write down a little bit so I don't lose this idea.  
> Me now at almost 1am: F*ck. I've totally started a second fic.

He was going to have heads roll when he returned. Literally. All of upper command, all of the idiots who’d done their jobs so poorly as to not know a Resistance trap had been waiting. He’d love to have Hux’s head too, though he knew Supreme Leader would never allow it. Pity.

It had been three days now since he's woken up face down in the sand after the failed raid. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been laid unconscious. The raid had appeared to go smoothly at first, they'd laid waste to the village, the troopers herding the surviving villagers together and dragging that old fool San Tekka to him. 

That's when things started to fall apart. As he was demanding the map, the old fool had begun to taunt him. He had already decided he was going to kill him, that he would not give up the map willingly. Then the old man spoke the words, “You can not deny the truth that is your family,” and Tekka swung his arm suddenly, the old fool’s fist made contact with his forearm.

He felt a needle pierce his skin through his robe. And then the world erupted into chaos as explosions ripped through the village. They must have been planted before hand. Blaster fire filled the air as the Resistance fighters stormed in amid the aftermath of their bombs.

Whatever drug he's been injected with worked fast. He felt his strength wanting. It had been a trap for  _ him _ , he realized. Probably his bitch of a mother's idea to try to capture him and drag him back to her. 

His escape was unclear amid the haze of the drug. He remembered stumbling, fighting almost blindly with his saber and the Force. After that there was no memory until waking up in the desert wastes of this kriffing druk planet with his head throbbing from the after effects of the drug, the heat, and dehydration.  He thought he had probably killed a lot them as he fought his way out. He hoped he did. He hoped his mother knew all of them personally and had to be the one to tell their families.

His side throbbed, he had looked to find the right side of his robes torn and soaked with blood. The wound itself wasn't too deep, the blaster bolt had grazed him, but sand and dirt already worked into the wound and it was black and red on the edges. He needed to clean and treat it soon or infection was going to set in.

Taking inventory, he was relieved that he still had his lightsaber. Unfortunately that was the only good news. The tattered side of his robes had been where his hidden pocket that he kept his emergency med kit in. There was no sign of it. He had reached into the torn remains of his pocket and found the mostly intact remains of his distress pulser. It had been nicked by the blaster bolt and the metal had warped from the heat of the plasma as it passed. Nonfunctional. No med kit to keep his wound from going necrotic. No water, no food.

He'd started walking the direction of the large congregation of force signatures in the distance. A town or outpost. It was quite far away. 

A small salvation the next day had been running into one of the locals traveling alone.  He'd used the force to crush their neck and had taken a small amount of food and a nearly full canteen of water. Not much, but something. It had taken self control to make the water last as long as it did, but it had finally run out this morning.

Still a long way out from the town. 

But he spotted another little salvation. This one riding a junk speeder, but a functional junk speeder. Through the force he thought it was female, and young. She parked the speeder below at the bottom of a dune and scrambled up it before disappearing into the wreckage of an old star destroyer.  He slipped into the shadows as he stalked his new prey, staying near the entrance to wait for her to return.

He could probably just steal the speeder. A small part of him pushed at him to spare her, take the speeder, get to town and find a way to send a distress signal. He ignored it, the girl was most likely carrying water with her. He was thirsty. It was nothing personal. 

Out of the sun in the shade of the wreck, he disengaged his mask and removed it for a minute, wiping the sweat from his face before putting it back on. He sunk back into the shadows, fading into them. She’d come back this way when she exited to return to her speeder, and he’d move on his prey then.

 

\-----

 

It was almost pleasant in the cool shadows of the wreck. The girl took her time, scaling up the sides of the destroyer. He supposed the easier to access parts of it had long been stripped bare, leaving the remaining spoils for the more agile or brave of the riff raff. In this girl’s case, she appeared to be both.

A noise outside from the bottom of the dune startled him. He slipped out for a moment-- three Gamorreans were gathered around the speeder, talking to each other in grunts and squeals as they pawed at whatever the girl already had stowed on it . 

This seemed opportune, they looked to be carrying a decent amount of supplies on them. They each had a blaster, but that didn’t concern him in the least.

He heard a zipping metallic sound and echoing thunk of the girl’s feet hitting the floor, she must of heard them as well. He ducked back into the shadows as she ran past him. Getting to the entrance to the wreck she shoved her goggles up to her forehead and ripped the veil that covered her face down.

“ _ HEY _ !” she charged down the dune, balancing nimbly as the sand slid underneath her. “ _ WHAT _ do you think you’re doing?!?” He slipped outside but kept himself against the ship, shifting off to to head down the side of the dune so he could flank them. In all black he stood out against the sand, but the four appeared distracted enough by each other, and it wasn’t as if any of them were a threat to him.

The girl was poking one Gamorrean with her staff, pushing him away from her speeder, “That is mine!” Her accent made her sound commanding. One of the others waved his blaster towards her with a squeal, and she turned and tapped him in the shoulder with the end of her staff, “Quit pointing that thing at me!” She shouldered her way past them to the side of her speeder, checking whatever she had strapped to the side of it, “Where did you steal those from anyway?”

A series of squeals and grunts responded,  “A posse? Someone made you a posse? You? Now that’s hysterical.” The largest of them moved forward, grunting. She turned, “No, I haven’t seen a man, I haven’t seen anyone.” The middle one squealed and grunted. She sounded exasperated,  “I just said I haven’t seen a man, so no, I haven’t seen an injured man in black wearing a mask. Who’d be wandering the desert in black? That just sounds ridiculous.”

Well then, they were looking for him? This was interesting. He started to move forward when the third squealed suddenly and grabbed the girl, wrenching her staff out of her grip, while the other two leveled their blasters at her. 

“GET OFF!”

The biggest letting a grunt that sounded like a sinister laugh. 

He moved forward and reached out with the force and began to choke the three Gamorreans. The two dropped their blasters, clawing at their necks, and the third dropped the girl who landed in a heap at his feet. She scrambled up, looking at the three of them in confused panic as they gasped for breath. 

Then she saw him and stumbled backwards. He glanced at her and locked the force around her, freezing her there without paying much attention to her. He stopped in the middle of the three suffocating Gamorreans, glancing at each before looking at the girl. “Which of them was in charge?”

Her eyes were panicked as she struggled, unable to move.  He was just starting to think he might need to be a little more forceful with her when she answered, “Bnob.”

He looked at the three of them and then back at her, rolling his eyes behind the mask, “And he is?”

“The big one.”

He nodded, turning and loosening his hold on the biggest one’s neck to let him get just a bit of air with effort. The other two he tightened his hold, listening to the satisfying sounds of their necks cracking. He heard the girl gasp in horror as they fell. 

He crouched down to look in the pig like face, “I think you were looking for me?”

The creature responded with faint, panicked grunts. He looked up at the girl, who’s flushed face had now paled considerably, “What did he say?”

“That there’s a bounty, and that they were giving blasters to those who agreed to look,” she was trying and failing to keep her voice from shaking. 

“Who are  _ they _ ?” he asked, although he was pretty sure he knew.

A slight squeal, looking back to the girl she translated without being asked, “He said the outsiders.”

“Outsiders.” He cocked his head at her slightly, “What outsiders?”

Her lips trembled, “There have been a group of them in Niima the last few weeks.”

“Who are they?” He approached the girl, sensing she knew more.

“I only heard rumors,” she flicked her eyes to his mask as he cocked his head at her again. She bit her lip suddenly, “Will you let me go?”

He bit back a laugh, was she hoping to bargain with him? “If you don’t tell me what you know you’re going to die here with those three.” Deciding he was done with the remaining Gamorrean, he opted to emphasize his point by crushing his neck.

It made a satisfying crack. The girl managed to pale further.

“There were whispers they were Resistance. That there was an arrangement being made between them and Plutt,” her voice was shaking as she spoke.

“Plutt?”

“The junk boss, Unkar Plutt.”

He frowned and turned away from the girl, leaving her in the force hold as he started to sort through the Gamorreans’ supplies for anything useful. This was not good. The Resistance appeared to have established an alliance of sort with the locals, and if they had a price on his head then likely just about everyone on this kriffing planet was going to be looking for him. Heading into town would likely be walking straight into the hands of the Resistance. 

There was a slight movement in the force and his head shot up to look at the girl. Had she just pushed back against his hold? That seemed unlikely… but… he inserted a small weakness in one of the threads he bound her with, and waited. In less than a minute he felt it again, this time she’d instinctively found the weakness and pressed against it, forcefully. Surprisingly strong though unfocused. He locked the weakened thread firmly around her again. 

Force sensitive, and strongly so, but completely untrained. He doubted she even consciously knew she was trying to use the force to fight back against him. Interesting.

He went back to sorting the supplies when the girl spoke, “You came from the top.” He met her eyes, letting her stare into his mask, “You were hunting me, before they showed up.” There was a building rage in her. His force hold on her shook suddenly as she pushed against him harder. For a moment a puzzled look filled her eyes, as if she recognized she did something but didn’t understand what.

It probably wasn’t good to let her awaken more to her powers right now. She was strong and he was not in the best condition at the moment. He spoke to her calmly, “If you promise me you won’t run, I’ll release you.”

She frowned, it made her young face look more childlike, again he felt the rage rumble inside her, “But I don’t have to promise not to try to kill you?” 

He laughed, it was a growling bark through the voice modulator of the mask, “You’re welcome to try.” She was a feral little thing.

“Okay.”

“You have to say it.”

She scowled, “I won’t run.”

It was tempting to make her say ‘I promise’, but he didn’t have time right now to play games just to antagonize her. He let go of his force hold, watching her shift with a relieved breath when she realized she could move. Then he snagged the force around her ankles and jerked them forward, pulling her legs out from under her. Her ass hit the sand hard enough to knock a gasping breath out of her. 

She glared at him but didn’t move. He saw her reach back into the back tied around her waist and watched carefully, just in case she was dumb enough to try something, but she just pulled a water bottle out and spun it open. There only appeared to be small amount left and when it was gone she held the bottle over her mouth, smacking the sides to knock out every last drop. Returning the bottle to her bag, she went back to glaring at him.

He found the Gamorreans had two good size water jugs and three full canteens. Both he and the girl got lucky that they showed up. He’d have killed her to find she had next to no water on her, a total waste of energy. Meeting her glare, “Who are you?”

She looked puzzled, “I’m noone.” He chuckled, he couldn’t fault her honesty there.

“What’s your name?”

“Rey,” she said curtly and looked away.

“Still thinking about killing me, Rey?”

“That happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask.” 

He laughed again, reaching up to release the mask and pulling it off. She regarded him, startled, meeting his brown eyes with her hazel ones for a second before looking away. He opened one of the canteens and drank, then picked up one of the others and held it up, catching her attention before throwing it to her. She caught it, looking from the dead Gamorreans to him to the canteen, apparently conflicted about the gift.

“Considering they were attacking you when I showed up, you probably don’t need to feel guilty about drinking some of their water. It’s not like they’re going to need it anymore,” he went back to searching for anything useful. In a pouch on one of their belts he found a small tin of bacta. It wasn’t a lot, but it was better than nothing. He tossed it in his small pile of things he’d found worthwhile to take. It wasn’t much, some rations, the bacta, the water.

She seemed to consider a moment before opening the canteen and taking two large sips, then closing it again.

He wiped the sweat off his face, there was the nagging question of what the kriff he was going to do now. Going to town didn’t appear to be an option since it was likely crawling with Resistance. Staying out here with a few jugs of water and a tiny bit of bacta with an infected wound on his side didn’t seem like a good option either. He looked at the girl again, “Do you live in town?”

Her eyes narrowed, confused as to why he was asking such a thing, “No, in the Badlands.”

That seemed promising, he didn’t know where she was referring to was, but it wasn’t town, “Live with anyone?”

“No, by myself, why does that matter?”

He didn’t answer, instead he stood and nodded at the bodies, “Is there anything left on them that’s of value to you?”

She frowned, conflicted again, then shook her head, “Nothing I want.”

“Again, they were attacking you… sentiment is foolish here.”

“The blasters are going to be too easy to trace, nothing else is worth the effort of carrying it,” her eyes were cold as she regarded him. “And I don’t want it.”

She was being smart about the blasters. He was pretty sure there was more there that she thought was worthwhile, but if she wanted to be stubbornly sentimental and foolish, that was her problem.

He crouched down in front of her, “Okay then. I want you to take me to where you live.”

A look of horror crossed her face, “No!”

“Yes,” he watched her lips tremble, it could have easily been mistaken for fear, but he could feel the fury growing in her, hatred too, “And stop thinking about killing me, little one, I would crush you if you tried.”

She glared, even more angry because she knew it was true. He smirked, “Good girl.”

He could hear her grind her teeth. She wasn’t stupid but she  _ was _ absolutely feral, but he could deal with that. Extending a gloved hand, he touched her cheek, and as if to confirm his prior thought, she let out a growl. He leaned forward, “Rey, I need a place to lay low a few days till the chaos dies down. Unfortunately for you, I don’t have many options at the moment, so you  _ will  _ take me there and you  _ will _ cooperate.” 

Breaking eye contact, she scowled at the ground. He could feel her defiance as she wondered what the cost of fighting him would be.

His voice was almost sweet, “You don’t want to find that out.”

She stiffened, then  looked at him again. Her eyes were wet, fearful, fighting so hard not to cry. Maybe she was tameable after all, he thought with a chuckle.

“Okay?”

A nod and she looked away. He stood up, “Good.” Reaching down he grabbed her forearm and pulled her up, purposefully being a bit forceful in his grip and action. A reminder. 

“Then help me load this and let’s go.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she emerged again he looked at her, “You live here?” He was amused, but the modulator hid it from his voice.
> 
> Her eyes stared coldly at the mask, “You're more than welcome to go somewhere else if this doesn't meet your standards.” The edge in her voice as a reminder that she didn't want him there.
> 
> When he didn't respond she tried to brush past him to the supplies on the speeder. As she passed him he snatched out suddenly and grabbed her wrist and jerked her towards him.
> 
> He could give reminders too. As defiant and feral as she seemed to be, she might need them often. Her wrist was small enough that his hand easily wrapped around it.
> 
> Her eyes were wide with fear for a split second before they narrowed and filled again with anger. She jerked her arm but he didn't let go. Looking straight down at her face, he began to squeeze slowly. He watched her eyes begin to widen, good. Increasing the pressure, the pain and fear increasing in her eyes. She tried to jerk away again, futilely, and he just chuckled. It was an exceptionally cruel sound through his mask’s modulator.

He slid off the speeder after they stopped,watching the girl as she grabbed a load of the supplies and gear from the net on the side and hauling it to the fallen AT-AT, disappearing inside.

When she emerged again he looked at her, “You live here?” He was amused, but the modulator hid it from his voice.

Her eyes stared coldly at the mask, “You're more than welcome to go somewhere else if this doesn't meet your standards.” The edge in her voice as a reminder that she didn't want him there.

When he didn't respond she tried to brush past him to the supplies on the speeder. As she passed him he snatched out suddenly and grabbed her wrist and jerked her towards him.

He could give reminders too. As defiant and feral as she seemed to be, she might need them often. Her wrist was small enough that his hand easily wrapped around it.

Her eyes were wide with fear for a split second before they narrowed and filled again with anger. She jerked her arm but he didn't let go. Looking straight down at her face, he began to squeeze slowly. He watched her eyes begin to widen, good. Increasing the pressure, the pain and fear increasing in her eyes. She tried to jerk away again, futilely, and he just chuckled. It was an exceptionally cruel sound through his mask’s modulator.

His grip would leave a bruise on her at this point. He continued tightening until he could feel all the small bones in her wrist. Her eyes were wet now, she gave a hiss of pain.

Close, but not quite, he began to move his fingers, grinding the bones under his grip together. A sharp cry of pain escaped her lips. He loosened his grip, smiling behind his mask. His smile widened when he noticed the wetness on her cheeks from the tears that slipped against her will from her eyes. He released her and she snapped her arm tight to her chest. Those light eyes were still sharp with anger but that anger was now clouded with fear.

She turned and grabbed more of the gear, using one arm and keeping her hurt wrist clutched to her chest. As she passed she refused to look at him.

He pulled off his cloak and threw the the remaining supplies on it, bundling it up into a makeshift pack. Wincing as he heaved it over his shoulder and the pain spread through his wounded side. Ignoring it, he followed the path the girl had walked, ducking down to slip inside.

There wasn't a lot of room in the entrance-way through the AT-AT’s leg, he had to hunch down as he worked his way in, putting more strain on his side. He ducked down and emerged into the main “room” and stood, tossing the cloak full of supplies onto the floor with a metallic thud. The girl jumped from where she was stowing supplies in various cubbies and nooks. She glared at him, clearly disapproving of him manhandling the resources.

The room was cluttered with supplies and salvage but was also well organized. His new little friend was quite the pack rat.  He walked further in, relieved to find it fairly cool inside after being out in the desert sun..

He leaned against a makeshift table and released his mask and pulled it off, dropping it onto the table. He put his saber down next to it, then unclasped his belt and eased off his robe and then under tunic, laying them on the table next to the helmet and saber. With just his undershirt on he could easily see through the tattered side to the wound underneath.

It didn't look good.

He gingerly eased the undershirt off. The wound itself was blackened and red and oozing slightly.  Sand caked in it in places. The skin around it was tinged red.

It really didn't look good.

He grabbed one of the canteens and steeled himself before pouring water into the wound, hissing at the pain and then doing his best to channel it down into his center, to feed the black churning monster of darkness there.   
  
Water spattered to the floor.

“What are you _doing_?!?”

He opened his eyes, the girl was standing with her fists clenched, looking horrified. Still trying to catch his breath from the burst of pain and continued stinging of his wound, he raised his eyebrows at her. It was pretty obvious what he was doing. “Trying to clean this.”

“You’re wasting water!” Before he could respond to that she was next to him, peering at the wound and then glancing down at the wet floor around his feet. “And making a mess,” she added with a huff.

A low, throbbing anger boiled inside of him, that black monster deep inside him whispering that it might be time to really teach this insolent little thing in front of him a lesson about respect. She reached down and put her hands next to the wound, inspecting it. Her touch gentle but it even that was enough shoot pain throughout his torso. His left hand shot out and snagged her middle hair bun, but as he did, he felt something else, something that soothed along the same nerves that raged a split second before.

His hand loosened in her hair, she’d frozen when he grabbed her and was glaring up at him now, frightened but angry. If she’d done what he thought she’d just done, he hoped he hadn’t scared her away from helping him. He released his hand from her hair, “Sorry, that hurt,” he said as he twisted the side of his mouth into a smile.

She stared up at him a moment, bottom lip trembling, before shifting over more towards his side and putting her hands on him again.

Yes, there, again he felt it. Her hands glided down his side, the touch leaving soothing traces as it went.

And she had no idea she was even doing it. He was certain of that.

Force healing was one of those things you either could do or you couldn’t. Even in his days as his uncle’s padawan, it was something he had no talent for. Most of the few who could do it couldn’t do it well, only able to do the force equivalent of basic first aid, and doing that took years of training and effort to learn how. Only one or two of his uncle’s students had had a true gift for it. Jol been truly amazing, once using the force to prevent him from bleeding out from a severed artery after they’d survived an ambush. But it had taken him years of training before he could even do what this girl appeared to be doing without even knowing it.

Unfortunately, since she wasn’t aware of it there was no way she would be able to heal him completely. But between her and the bacta, maybe it could help fight off the infection. At the very least it was soothing. He reached over and pawed his robe on the table till he found the metal tin in one of the pockets. “There’s a little bit of bacta,” he held it out to her.

She took it, opened it it, shaking her head, “There’s no way it’s going to be enough.” Straightening up, she turned muttering, “just stay there.”  He raised his eyebrows at her again, but she took no notice as she crossed the AT-AT, dropping down to pull supplies out of one of the nooks she had along the wall, returning with an armload of rags and a jug. As she opened the jug, the smell of alcohol was overwhelming. “This will hurt,” she said, holding the jug up, “leave my hair alone.”

Disinfectant, he nodded. She wadded up a rag against the bottom of the gash and began to carefully pour the alcohol into the wound, catching the overflow into the rag. He let out a ragged breath as he did his best to channel the pain. When she was done flushing the wound, she flipped the rag she’d been catching the overflow of the alcohol to the other side, knelt down next to him and as gently as she could began to wipe out any remaining debris from the wound.

There was a strange sensation of overwhelming pain followed by the soothing of the force settling those same nerves that had been on fire a second before. It was a strangely sensual feeling, bordering on arousal.

The girl finished and opened the tin of bacta and applied it thickly, then picked up a clean rag and rolled it, placing it gingerly into the length of the gash. Picking up a roll of cloth, she began to bandage it around his torso over the wound. Wincing, he stood still until she finished and tied off the end of the bandage. Taking a rough breath that turned into almost a sigh as her hand delicately traced down the bandage where his wound was. Once again her touch soothed and left a warming trace.

It was an intoxicating feeling. He reached down and gently pushed some stray hair out of her face, causing her to pull back startled before looking up at him. “Thank you,” he said, softly. Deep in him he felt the black monster shift, growling. It belied the gentleness in his touch, urging destruction and cruelty. Despite the roughness of this world, the girl kneeling before him still walked solidly in the light. And despite her wildness, there was a youthful innocence to her, more grown child than woman. The monster pulled at her from within him, wanting to defile the light and shatter that innocence.

But he controlled that monster, he kept it in check, denying it. It churned and whined, he ignored it.

She must have felt it, suddenly she crossed her arms across her chest and stood, taking several steps away from him, looking away before muttering, “You’re welcome.” Stalking across to the other side of the room, she sank to the floor and hugged her knees, watching him wearily.

Easing himself to the ground as well, he leaned against the makeshift table. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, exhausted. His last thought before drifting away was he probably shouldn’t sleep with the girl free. Whether she helped him or not, she was still currently his captive.

 

\-----

 

He awoke in the same position against the table, startled, head throbbing. The pain in his side had lessened, hopefully that the girl’s work on it had helped. The girl…stumbling to his feet, he looked around, she wasn’t inside. Feeling a wave of panic, he reached out with the force and then relaxed when he felt her right outside. Glancing down at the table he saw a plate with a small amount of food, half a loaf of grey bread and a green meat-like substance. He the meat slowly, his stomach uneasy. It was vile but it was food. He pulled on his undershirt and clipped his saber to the waist of his pants. Grabbing the bread off the tray, he made his way outside.

The sun was starting to sink lower. The girl was sitting against the AT-AT, eating, she flicked her eyes at him wearily but said nothing. He opted to keep the silence, leaning against the AT-AT, slowly eating the dry bread, watching her out of the corner of his eye. When she finished her food she held the plate up and licked it clean.

_Feral_ , he thought to himself, amused.

But with potential. A lot of potential. He couldn’t remember another force-sensitive he’d known that had what she had. And it was being wasted here on this desolate dirtball.

Given his situation, wanting to change that probably shouldn’t be taking up so much of his thoughts. Keeping her under his control so he could use her to get himself off this Resistance infested dirtball had higher priority.

“I don't know your name.”

He turned to look fully at the girl. She was trying not to look at him, but the way she flicked her eyes onto him and then away giving away that she wanted to look at him. Reaching out with the force he just lightly brushed his mind against hers.

Loneliness. Overwhelming loneliness. A part of her was even glad for his presence, despite her fear and anger towards him, because for just a little she didn't need to be alone. Under that was fear and uncertainty and a desperate kind of hope.

A small part of him, one that lay smothered and pinned under the weight of the blackness in his center yearned towards her, relating to and sharing her pain.

He crushed that part of himself back down under his heel. Compassion had no part in his life anymore. Taking a bite of the bread he kept his gaze on the girl.

As he chewed slowly, she finally turned and met his eyes. Hers were sharp with annoyance at his failure to answer, “You're my _guest_ and I don't know your name.” Her voice had a sharp edge of sarcasm.

It took effort to keep his eyes and face flat and unexpressive and hide his amusement. The last thing he wanted to do was encourage her insolence. She was going to need another reminder sooner rather than later.

He thought a moment as he swallowed. Next to no one actually called him anything other than “sir” or “master,” the few equals, if you could call them that, called him Ren.

“Kylo,” he answered, before eating the last bite of bread. No one called him Kylo, he kind of liked the idea of a name that was only used by her.

Maybe that was his way of admitting to himself that he intended to bring her with him when he left this hellhole. Whether she wanted to come or not. That potential, it would be a sin to let it go to waste without even trying to tap it.

“Kylo,” she repeated and nodded, looking away.

He brushed the crumbs off his fingers, “You should come back inside.”

She tensed, which was enough to let him know that she knew that despite phrasing it as a suggestion he was giving a command.  Which is probably why she felt the need to refuse. “I'm fine. Feel free to go back in without me.”

_“_ Rey.”  She refused to acknowledge him. “ **_Rey._ ** ”

He saw her flinch, she turned to look at him, eyes defiant. He looked straight into them as he spoke, “Go. Inside.”

“I haven't run away from you yet, have I?” she snapped, angrily.

He stayed silent, his eyes on her, waiting. His patience was rewarded as she finally stumbled to her feet, not looking at him. Apparently she remembered her earlier reminder, trying to give him wide berth as she passed.

Not that it was enough. He moved lightning quick, grabbing her by her shoulders and spinning her hard into the side of the AT-AT. She gasped as the force of it pushed breath out of her lungs. He placed on hand on her chin and forced her face up to look at him.

“I think we might need to come to a clearer understanding here, little one.” He snatched her forearm with one hand, pulling her bruised wrist from her earlier reminder up to him. Tracing along one of the purple blotches with one of his fingers. “As long as I’m here you’re going to do as you’re told. If you defy me at all, I’m going to hurt you.” For emphasis he pressed a finger down hard on the bruise, watching her wince, “And if you cooperate it’ll help me get off this dirtball faster, and then you’ll be free of me.”

_Or not,_ he thought to himself, not if he had his way.  It was a needed lie though, some kind of reward to dangle in front of her. Threats and reward balancing to keep her in line. Against him he could feel her trembling with anger and fear.

“Do you understand, Rey?”

She nodded. Not good enough.

“Say it.”

Speaking through gritted teeth, she growled the words out, “I understand.”

He pulled her wrist up to his mouth and put a gentle kiss on one of the bruises before letting it go. Then he leaned in closer, “And one more thing, little one.” She looked at him and he ran a finger down her face, “If you try to betray me I will make you long for death to release you.” He let her go and backed away, watching her as she blinked back tears and then quickly went inside the AT-AT.

Tomorrow he’d need to start collecting information and formulating some kind of plan. Either he needed a ship or he needed to get a message to the First Order on his location. He needed to find out everything the girl new about town, and at some point in the next few days he suspected he was going to have to trust her to be his eyes and ears and find out exactly what kind of Resistance presence he was dealing with. At least he had some time to work on making sure she’d stay in line before that was going to be necessary.

He headed back inside. He’d deal with tomorrow in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments on the first chapter. Hope you guys like this one too.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren had walked right into the trap. They’d managed to completely blindside the First Order. Only a handful of troopers had managed to escape and retreat to one of their shuttles. But their main target had also gotten away. Gotten away while heavily sedated, carving a bloody path through their ranks, escaping into the desert.
> 
> The commander was pissed. They lost over a dozen men to just Kylo Ren alone, after hitting him with enough drugs to take down a rathtar and giving him a blaster bolt to the side. It was a little terrifying to think of what they might face if they found him at full strength.
> 
> And he was worried about that. Anger might be causing the Commander to make rash decisions now, preferring to see Ren dead. With the required radio silence to not alert the First Order to the size of their presence on Jakku, or their base of operations out of Niima, there was no one over the Commander now, so what he was saying was what went. He almost agreed that Ren dead would be the preferable outcome, except in the end it would be an utter failure for their goal. The General’s plan required Ren returned alive.
> 
> They had part of a map. He’d seen the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter and a POV change, a little sense of the other side of things right now ;)

The wind whipped the sand up in the cool of the desert night as he walked a familiar path out of the town and into the shelter of the dunes.  He kept his hands in his pockets, eyes on his feet, his mind was busy pondering the last few days.

It hadn’t gone quite as planned. Close, but not quite. 

Kylo Ren had walked right into the trap. They’d managed to completely blindside the First Order. Only a handful of troopers had managed to escape and retreat to one of their shuttles. But their main target had also gotten away. Gotten away while heavily sedated, carving a bloody path through their ranks, escaping into the desert.

The Commander was pissed. They lost over a dozen men to just Kylo Ren alone, after hitting him with enough drugs to take down a rathtar and giving him a blaster bolt to the side. It was a little terrifying to think of what they might face if they found him at full strength.

And he was worried about that. Anger might be causing the Commander to make rash decisions now, preferring to see Ren dead. With the required radio silence to not alert the First Order to the size of their presence on Jakku, or their base of operations out of Niima, there was no one over the Commander now, so what he was saying was what went. He almost agreed that Ren dead would be the preferable outcome, except in the end it would be an utter failure for their goal. The General’s plan required Ren returned alive.

They had part of a map. He’d seen the rest.

She seemed convinced that they’d be able to get it from him. Assuming they could catch him alive. It seemed far fetched, even to those who knew the relationship between her and Ren. It wasn’t common knowledge to most that the General even had a son, who that son was, well, probably was best left to the sparse few that knew. It was a hard fact to process.

“What are you doing this way, Black?” he jumped, startled, to see the woman appear out of the darkness.

“I’d suspect the same as you, Blue,” with a small smile. They were both dressed in the desert clothes of the locals and looked utterly ridiculous. 

“Birds are fine, but feel free to do your own walk through.”

He nodded and kept going. Not that he didn’t trust her, he’d put his life in her hands, and trust his own fighter to her skills if it came to that. She fell in step next to him.

“Any updates from the top, Poe?” She sounded slightly hopeful and slightly desperate. He understood that feeling, he hated being this isolated from the rest of the Resistance.

“Commander Allen’s holding current course of action,” he glanced at her, “So search, use the locals, lay low until something changes.”

She sighed.

“Yeah, I know, Jess.” He slipped between two dunes and walked between the rows of fighters, covered and hidden, camouflaged to blend in with the sand. Two full squadrons, ready to roll when needed.

An excited beeping met his ears and he smiled as the droid came rolling out from the cover of his fighter, happy to see him, “Hey! How you holding up buddy?”

They’d had to leave all the astromechs with the ships. The droids would have been too noticeable in town. 

Beebeeate let out another series of beeps. He shook his head, “No changes yet, you still have to stay out here.” The responding beep was slightly dejected. “Sorry, bud.”

He walked around his fighter, giving it an unnecessary inspection, but it was at least something to do. When he finished he tapped the droid goodbye and headed back out towards town with Jess.

“You’re not happy,” she said.

“What’s to be happy about right now?”

She shrugged, “We’re not dead, there’s that.” A pause, “You’re upset with Allen.”

He frowned, looking away for a moment, “He’s disregarding the goal of the mission.”

“Maybe that goal is unattainable and we should be focusing on another,” she said through pursed lips. 

He sighed, “I’d like to be the one to kill the son of a…” Stopping mid curse with a wince, realizing he was going to insult the General too with that one, even if he’d be the only one who of the two of them that would know. “I was there, I saw him cut down my friends. I’d like to see him die too.”

“But?”

“Then our friends died in vain. We have a mission, if we kill him, we fail.”

She sighed, “You really believe that she can find Skywalker and convince him to come back?”

“I know she believes it. He’s her brother you know?”

“I’ve never been able to wrap my brain around that part. Skywalker is a kriffing legend.”

He winked, “So is she.”

“True.”

They fell to silence, there nothing but the sound of the wind and crunch of sand for a few minutes.

“What are the chances that he just died in the desert?” Jess asked, suddenly.

He frowned, the report of the dead Gamorreans, found with their necks crushed and their supplies sifted through was not common knowledge and Allen was pretty clear it needed to stay that way. The bastard was alive and didn’t really have a problem killing to get what he needed to keep surviving. 

“I don’t think a desert is going to take Kylo Ren down. I’d say next to none.”

She shook her head, “I hate this waiting.”

He nodded in agreement.

“I want to blow some druk up.”

“We’re going to get our chance eventually, Blue Three,” he winked. “When the time comes we’re ready.”

“Copy that, Black Leader,” she shot him a smile.

They slipped into town among the riff raff of locals. He utterly despised this place, with it’s mix of broken and destitute and the utter scum that preyed upon them. The fact that they were mostly allying themselves with the seedier elements was not lost on him and he hated it with a passion. But for now it was needed, and they’d made deals they intended to keep.

He tapped Jess on the shoulder, “I’m going to crash for the night, take care.”

She nodded and headed to the other side of town. They had opted to stay scattered in different small tents and shacks. One big barracks would have been too much attention. When he reached his tent he didn’t go inside, he was exhausted but didn’t think sleep was going to take him anytime soon. Instead he sat down on the hard packed sand next to the canvas wall and looked up at the stars. The dark and clear desert sky was a canvas of black to be filled with the view of the galaxy above.

It was beautiful. 

In a bit he’d go inside and lie on his cot as his thoughts churned through his mind, not willing to let him drift down into the sleep he desperately needed. 

But for at least a bit now he could sit here and take in the sky and let his mind calm and go mute.

It wasn’t much, but he’d take it.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of her scoffed at the suggestion that she would do it. If she was going to kill him, would she had helped him with his wound? Or instead of taking the opportunity yesterday to kill him instead split half of her food with him?
> 
> The idea of running also crossed her mind. All she needed to do was get to Niima and let the people looking for him know. They could take care of him for her
> 
> But what if he got away from them? She shivered, thinking about his warning yesterday about betraying him.
> 
> Walking closer to him, picking up her knife from a table as she walked by. She paused, less than five feet from him staring a moment before looking away and grabbing a quarter portion from the very small pile of rations.
> 
> “Haven't I told you to stop thinking about killing me?”
> 
> She jumped, nearly dropping the knife. He was watching her through dark lashes, eyes half shut. For a moment she thought to deny it, then thought better of it. “I think it qualifies as fantasizing instead of thinking about at this point,” she answered, coldly, wrapping the knife and sticking it through her belt.

She awoke with her body aching, wincing as she moved her bruised wrist.  A mild headache throbbed in the front of her head. Dehydration. She didn't drink nearly enough yesterday and knew better. One can function a long time while hungry, but thirst will knock you on your ass and make it all the harder to be able to work to rectify the situation.

Given her current situation, she had to be careful. Her eyes flickered wearily to the form sleeping on the floor with his robe draped over him as a blanket.

Not for the first time, she thought about trying to kill him in his sleep. There was a real possibility he intended to kill her once he didn't find her useful anymore. In the back of her mind she heard the sound of Bnob’s neck shattering and she shivered.

She went outside to relieve herself, still pondering murder as she returned. He was still asleep. A debate raged in her mind. She had a similar one yesterday after he passed out. She could sneak up on him and kill him and be done with this insanity.

Part of her scoffed at the suggestion that she would do it. If she was going to kill him, would she had helped him with his wound? Or instead of taking the opportunity yesterday to kill him instead split half of her food with him?

The idea of running also crossed her mind. All she needed to do was get to Niima and let the people looking for him know. They could take care of him for her 

But what if he got away from them? She shivered, thinking about his warning yesterday about betraying him. 

Walking closer to him, picking up her knife  from a table as she walked by. She paused, less than five feet from him staring a moment before looking away and grabbing a quarter portion from the very small pile of rations.

“Haven't I told you to stop thinking about killing me?”

She jumped, nearly dropping the knife. He was watching her through dark lashes, eyes half shut. For a moment she thought to deny it, then thought better of it. “I think it qualifies as fantasizing instead of thinking about at this point,” she answered, coldly, wrapping the knife and sticking it through her belt. 

He gave a hoarse laugh, stumbling stiffly to his feet and shaking out his robe before throwing it on the table and nodding at the quarter portion in her hand, “Is that the same amount you made yesterday and split?”

She glanced at the food in her hand, “Yes.”

“Make two of them,” he said, sitting back down on the floor and pulling his boots on.

“We don’t have a lot,” she snapped in annoyance. “We’re going to run out of it fast if we’re eating a half portion twice a day. Unless you are going to let me scavenger and trade?”

He seemed utterly indifferent, “I’ll deal with it if we run out.”

Disgust rose up in her throat, yes, he’d get more the way he got these rations, “Deal with it by stealing more.”

He didn’t look up, “It’s not really theft once the owner is dead. Not like they’ll need it anymore.”

She felt bile rise in her throat but grabbed another quarter portion and turned away, not wanting to look at him anymore, distracting herself by prepping the food. Ignoring him as he brushed by her and disappeared outside. 

Once the food was done she took plates and dumped his portion of meat on one and hers on the other, giving them each a small loaf of reconstituted bread. She looked up as he returned and she shoved the plate at him when he went by. To her disgust he looked amused.

She grabbed her plate and a bottle of water, turning to go outside, but before she could he spoke, “Where do you think you’re going?”

Scowling, she turned, “I like eating outside.”

“Come here,” not looking up from his plate.

She wanted to refuse so badly. Instead she stalked over, stopping six feet away, leaning on a shelf and starting to eat without looking at him.

“Tell me about the town?”

“Niima?” she shrugged, talking as she ate. “There’s not much to tell about it. Plutt trades portions for salvage, few other small traders but he makes sure no one can push in on his business. There’s the constable’s office, cleaning stations for salvage. You can get water for free if you have a way to purify it.”

She glanced up at him, as he paused, chewing and swallowing. “What about the outsiders you mentioned?” He had a habit of not talking till he was done chewing, she noted, it was a bit odd.

“They’ve been hanging around for the last few weeks.” She swallowed and took a big bite of the bread, “Scattered about town, seemed like a lot of them but there were never a more than a few in one place.”

“And you heard they were Resistance?”

She shrugged, “Rumours anyway. Whispers that they had some kind of deal with Plutt.”

“Why were they there?”

“How would I know?” She glanced at him, feeling irritated. 

He chewed silently, “What about ships?”

“A few always randomly coming and going. Plutt’s collection, mostly junk. He’s paid me to move them around on occasion.”

“You know how to fly?” he sounded slightly incredulous.

She shoved the bread into her mouth to keep from saying something impulsively that might set him off, and once she chewed it enough to get words out she choked out, “yes.”

“Who taught you?” 

“I taught me.” She nodded towards her computer, “Flight simulator.”

He regarded her thoughtfully, “The ships have power?”

“Most of them. Most of them would probably fly but I wouldn’t trust my life to more than a few of them.”

He finished his bread, “How well guarded are they?”

“They’re not.” She finished off her last bite of meat and turned her attention to the remains of her bread.

“Are you sure?” he frowned at her.

“At least they never were, I used to sneak on them and look around when I was younger,” a small smile played across her face at the memory. Tilting her plate up she licked it clean and then wiped her hand across her mouth.

He was watching her with a faintly amused expression, she frowned, not knowing what he found funny. Walking over, he grabbed her empty plate on top of his and tossed them on the table before stalking closer to her. She pushed back against the shelf as he moved to place an arm on either side of her, staring at her intently.

“Am I going to be able to trust you?” he said, thoughtfully. She got the feeling he wasn’t asking her. There was a sharp pressure suddenly in her head, she winced.

“You do know better than to betray me, right, Rey?” He leaned in closer, his face was just inches from hers.

“Y...yes,” she whispered.

“Good girl, cause we’re going to go on a field trip tomorrow. You’re going to be my eyes and ears in town and find out more of what’s going on.” 

She shook suddenly in the realization that hiding in the pressure in her head was something else,  _ someone _ else. Pushing their-- no,  _ his, _ way through her thoughts. 

“Get out of my head!” she had wanted to shout it at him, but it only came out in a breathy gasp.

He smiled, pressing a finger against her lips, “If you even  _ think _ about betraying me or misbehaving, I’ll know.” With that, the pressure was gone, she backed away from him, feeling like she couldn’t get enough in to breath.

She needed to put at least a little space between her and that creature.

Stumbling, she made her way outside, thankfully he didn’t stop her. When she found her way into the heat and dry air she collapsed into the sand.

By the gods she needed to find a way to get away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short filler chapter. Things are going to get a little more interesting soon though. 
> 
> Poor Rey, she's having a rough few days here.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He slid off the speeder, walking through the shifting sand of the dune to look down on the huddle of makeshift buildings, huts, and tents. It was more of a junkyard than a town, and he suspected the creatures that lived there were more akin to rats than people. Junkyards drew the rats and other vermin.
> 
> The girl was still on the speeder, watching him wearily, as soon as she realized he’d turned his attention towards her she looked away. She hadn’t said more than one word answers to him since yesterday and did her best to avoid even looking at him. He was pretty sure he’d be able to trust her to stay in line and report back to him. Pawing through her mind yesterday, he’d seen that she’d played through scenarios of turning him in. Consciously she dismissed the idea of doing such a thing because of fear of what he would do to her if he escaped. Under that was also subconscious distaste of the outsiders because they were making some kind of deal with Plutt.
> 
> Her hatred towards Plutt was startlingly intense. She loathed him, and while she’d heard romanticized stories about Resistance, their current alliance with Plutt made her distrust them. Or rather, distrust them more than normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short update. Hopefully will get another one this weekend.

He slid off the speeder, walking through the shifting sand of the dune to look down on the huddle of makeshift buildings, huts, and tents. It was more of a junkyard than a town, and he suspected the creatures that lived there were more akin to rats than people. Junkyards drew the rats and other vermin.

The girl was still on the speeder, watching him wearily, as soon as she realized he’d turned his attention towards her she looked away. She hadn’t said more than one word answers to him since yesterday and did her best to avoid even looking at him. He was pretty sure he’d be able to trust her to stay in line and report back to him. Pawing through her mind yesterday, he’d seen that she’d played through scenarios of turning him in. Consciously she dismissed the idea of doing such a thing because of fear of what he would do to her if he escaped. Under that was also subconscious distaste of the outsiders because they were making some kind of deal with Plutt.

Her hatred towards Plutt was startlingly intense. She loathed him, and while she’d heard romanticized stories about Resistance, their current alliance with Plutt made her distrust them. Or rather, distrust them more than normal. She distrusted everyone, it just depended on intensely.

“So that’s Niima?” he asked, his voice flat through the modulator of his mask.

He could see her knuckles whiten as she clenched her fists around the speeder handles, “Yes.”

They were still on one word answers apparently. 

Sitting down in the sand, he motioned to her, “Come here.” He was mostly confident she wasn’t going to step out of line when he let her off leash, but he wanted to make sure they had a little chat before he set her loose. She glared at him a moment before she got off the speeder, and he was glad for his mask to hide the smile that spread across his face. Poor little feral kitten, growling at him and it just made her look more cute than dangerous.

Stalking over, she stood next to him. He nodded his head towards the ground next to him, wanting her to sit. She didn’t take the hint. Well, she probably did, but was pretending not to.   


“Can you take that gods damned thing off?” she snapped suddenly, glaring at the sand off in the distance instead of looking at him.

He cocked his head at her, still smiling under the mask, “I can. I will if you say please.” She hated the mask. She had trouble gauging his body language to try to predict his next action even without it, but with it it was impossible and she felt more vulnerable. With her attitude it was tempting to just say no. But knowing how much she was going to despise saying please to him overruled that.   


She let out a hissing breath through gritted teeth. Oh, it was a beautiful struggle going on in her mind, wasn’t it? He wished he was currently in there to see it play by play as it raged on.

“Please,” she growled out. She looked away from him, but not soon enough to hid the wave of humiliation in her eyes.

He allowed himself one more smirk under the mask before he focused on draining all the emotion from his face. Releasing the mask, he pulled it off and looked at her as he set it in the sand to his left. “Happy?”

“Not really.” Her voice was ebbing with sarcasm. She was on a snippy roll today. Without any warning, he grabbed her arms, careful to grip far enough above her wrists to not put pressure on her bruised wrist. He grabbed around her knees with the force as he pulled down hard, causing her to buckle and fall to her knees straddling his lap. She tried to pull herself back off of him, but he was faster than she was, wrapping his arms around her lower back and pulling her forward.

She was angry and embarrassed. Good. Maybe next time the little bitch will just sit when she knows that’s what he wants.

He was surprised at the ferocity of her reaction to try to jerk out of his arms and off his lap. He held her in place as she pushed against his arms and bucked to try to get away. The struggle applied some not so unpleasant friction against his crotch. If he couldn’t sense she was borderline panicking he might have let it go on for awhile longer.

“Stop that,” he said, calmly. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to do anything to you either.”

She stilled, but he could feel the cold edge of panic under the surface. If he’d realized she’d have such an intense adverse reaction he probably wouldn’t have pulled her down into this position. Now that he had, though, he couldn’t just let her go to appease her fear. He knew he probably should defuse the situation, but instead he found himself wanting to push her a little bit more. His arms wrapped around her, he found himself tugging off his right glove with his left hand, then slipping the hand under her shirt to rest on the small of her back. Her skin was feverishly hot.

Again, that fear spiked at his skin touching hers. “Being touched terrifies you, doesn’t it?” his voice was kind though, it was a feeling he understood quite well.

He entered her mind, ignoring her flinch at the pressure, and began to lightly rub his hand back and forth. The panic rose, he pushed against it, forcing a calm to drive back the storm. Her breathing slowed and the trembling under his hand. 

_ See? Not so bad? _

She blinked her eyes open. They were calm but there was still fear and confusion underneath.

He probably didn’t have the time to keep playing like this. But he pushed further into her mind, doing his best to be gentle,  _ You’ve been hurt, haven’t you kitten? Who hurt you? _

She fought hard against the calm he’d given her and against his presence. Not enough to stop him, but enough that he got glimpses. Unwanted hands on her when she was just a child, too small to be able to stop them. Leering eyes on her as she walked through town. Fighting off attacks, most from strangers, some from acquaintances, even once someone she thought was a friend. Plutt’s drooling, hungry expression and clear sense of ownership towards her. Fourteen years old, a group of thieves, she left them bloody but there were too many. The leader of the gang dragging her by the hair to her knees in front of him---

_ OUT.  _

To his surprise he felt himself shoved back to the surface of her mind. She hadn’t managed to get him out completely, but moving him that far back was impressive. Refocusing his eyes he saw her shivering in front of him, head down, tears slipping slowly out of her eyes.

He released her, but she didn’t move, reaching with his gloved hand to cup the side of her face, “I’m sorry,” he murmured, brushing away tears with his thumb. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was apologizing for- his invasion on her memories or for the awful things that had happened in her past.

Sentiment. He had to be careful of letting himself get lead down that road. This was something he could use to make sure she was under his control, and he was not going to allow sentiment to get in the way of that.

“I think I know I can trust you now,” he said, softly. “You would never trust the vermin in that town to protect you, would you? Even if they didn’t fail you, they’d just as soon sacrifice you for their end.”

Still in the surface of her mind he could feel this statement ringing true to her. There was no one down there she trusted. Trust always led to betrayal.

“Trust me and I won’t betray you,” he forced her chin up so she was looking him in the eye. “As long as you don’t betray me.”  He stared intently into her eyes, “As long as you’re with me I’ll protect you. I won’t leave you behind.”

Her eyes flickered. He smiled inwardly, playing that card against her abandonment worked well. He could feel the conflict between the part of her that was terrified of him and the lonely part of her who wanted company and safety. 

Fear and desire were a potent combination.

“I can trust you, right, Rey?” he asked, taking his hand off of her.

She nodded, sliding off his legs to kneel in the sand, looking away again. Still in the surface of her mind, he was satisfied with the honesty in her response. 

“Good. You’re going to go to town. Do your best to not look suspicious, do your trading, but keep your eyes and ears open. Ask questions if you can without drawing suspicion. Meet me back here before dark.”

Pulling himself the rest of the way out of her mind, he watched her rub the heel of her hand against her wet eyes and get up, stumbling slightly over to the speeder. Pulling his right glove back on, he watched her as she left, speeder growing smaller into the distance as it approached the town. 

He thought it was probably a ninety-five percent chance she wouldn’t betray him. He was confident about it, but not dumb. He intended to be on his guard.

Sighing to himself, he put the mask back on and waited.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She typically wasn't afraid in Niima, especially not during the day. There were always lots of people around, and while none of them really wanted to interfere with anyone else's business, at least a few were willing to step in if something egregious was happening.
> 
> Things were different today.
> 
> For one thing, there were the amount of blasters. Normally they were a rare weapon to be found on Jakku, but a short time in town she counted at least a dozen. To make it worse the people carrying them, were the last who should be trusted with firepower. The outsiders were not being discriminate about who they were arming, not that this was a revelation after they had armed Bnob and his friends.
> 
> For another, she was noticing just how many outsiders there were. Wandering around and failing to look inconspicuous in groups of two to four. They were trying to blend in. Maybe to other outsiders it would work, but to anyone from here they stood out like the eyes of a nightwatcher worm in the dark.

She typically wasn't afraid in Niima, especially not during the day. There were always lots of people around, and while none of them really wanted to interfere with anyone else's business, at least a few were willing to step in if something egregious was happening. 

Things were different today.

For one thing, there were the amount of blasters. Normally they were a rare weapon to be found on Jakku, but a short time in town she counted at least a dozen. To make it worse the people carrying them, were the last who should be trusted with firepower. The outsiders were not being discriminate about who they were arming, not that this was a revelation after they had armed Bnob and his friends.

For another, she was noticing just how many outsiders there were. Wandering around and failing to look inconspicuous in groups of two to four. They were trying to blend in. Maybe to other outsiders it would work, but to anyone from here they stood out like the eyes of a nightwatcher worm in the dark. 

There were at least thirty of them, she wasn’t sure if there were more than now the last time she was in town. It made her feel outnumbered, surrounded by the enemy. Part of her protested that they weren’t, at worst she was neutral in all of this. They weren’t  _ her  _ enemy just because they were his, but another part whispered that they would acknowledge no difference between being compelled to help him or helping him of her free will. 

She made her way to Plutt’s concession stand with a small bag of salvage. She didn’t have much after not having a full day’s work in the last two days. It was probably worth a portion, which meant the blobfish would give her a half portion if she was lucky. Approaching the barred window, she tossed the parts on the table, trying to ignore him as his eyes crawled over her.

“My girl,” he said. Gods she hated his wheezing, fawning voice. “I was getting worried. It’s been days since you came to trade.”

He wanted to know where she’d been, so she just shrugged indifferently to give him as little as possible.

“You’ve been missing all the interesting things going on,” he sounded pleased with himself and she found herself digging her nails into her hands.

“None of it concerns me,” she shrugged again. “Are you buying or not?”

“Yes, yes,” he looked at the pieces, “but you may want some of it to concern you. They’re being quite generous and not asking much, just for people to keep their eyes open for someone.”

“I mind my own business,” she said, flatly. It felt ingenuine considering right now she was being sent to town specifically not to mind her own business, but she kept it out of her voice.

He sighed, “Yes, well, these pieces are worth… one half portion.” Pausing, giving her his leering smile, “But given the circumstances right now, I’m feeling generous. One portion.” He slapped it down on the counter in front of her.

She blinked in surprise, Plutt was never feeling generous. She frowned, sliding the portion off and putting it in her bag. Casting Plutt a suspicious glance as she walked away, trying to figure out what the hell she was supposed to do next. 

Spying wasn’t exactly her thing.

“Hey, you there!”

The voice made her jump, she turned and saw one of the outsiders walking towards her. Like all of them he stood out despite wearing garb that matched typical clothes of the desert dwellers. She glared at him, “I’ve got no business with you.”

He frowned at that, coming closer and seeming to look her over once with dark grey eyes. “Scavenger? Where do you live?”

_ I live at none of your gods damned business, that’s where, _ she thought. 

“I fail to see how that’s any of your concern.”

The man looked irritated, running a hand over blond hair cut close to his head, “We’re looking for a man, an escaped prisoner. We’ve got a bounty on him--”

She cut him off, “I’m not interested in your bounty.”

His teeth flashed as he curled his lips up, irritation seemed to be edging towards anger, “Listen, girl, aside from the bounty, which is  _ considerable _ , we also are just asking people to keep their eyes open and let us know if they see or hear anything.” Pulling five portions out of his bag he waved them in her face, “And you look like you could use an extra meal or two.” He smirked at the last words. She had to fight the urge to punch him.

Instead, she growled at him as she pushed by, “Not interested.”

The man snagged her arm and spun her to face him again, “You want to be interested.” He practically snarled.

She jerked her arm out of his grasp and unslung her staff, holding it defensively, “I want no part of this!”  Gods, she didn’t. Not for this kriffing ass or for the crazy son of a bitch waiting for her on the dune. 

He flashed his teeth again, but before he could speak a voice called from behind her, “Everything okay, Allen!?” Glancing over her shoulder, she saw another man, walking towards them and cursed under her breath.

“Fine, just trying to discuss some business with this insolent little desert rat.” 

She let out a growl. This arrogant son of a bitch. 

“I wonder why she is less than interested,” the second man said with dry sarcasm. Clearly another outsider. He had dark brown hair and brown eyes that were kinder and calmer than the blond haired man.

The blond turned his anger towards the other man, “Got a problem with how I’m doing things, Dameron?”

“No, sir,” the other man said, eyes and tone clearly indicating otherwise. “But if this kid has said she’s not interested then she’s not interested and you should probably leave her alone.”

_ Sir, _ she thought. The asshole was probably the one in charge then, or at least in charge of this other one.

Pointing a finger at the brown haired man’s chest, the blond snarled, “Watch that you don’t start bordering insubordination, Dameron. I’m not stupid.”

“Yes, sir.” His voice was cold. These two clearly didn’t like each other.

Turning, the blond scowled at her one more time before stalking away. She eyed the other man wearily, and kept her staff in hand, as he turned to look at her.

“Probably not worth much but I apologize for my friend,” the man said, shrugging. “What’s your name, kid?”

“I’m not a kid,” she snapped, irritated. 

He just held up his hands, “Okay, sorry. But if you give me a name it’ll make it easier to not call you ‘kid’ or ‘girl’ or ‘you’. I’m Poe.”

“Your so called friend called you Dameron.”

“Right, Poe Dameron, but I go by Poe.”

She took breath, this man was a lot more likeable than the other, “Rey. Your friend seemed more like a superior than a friend. He’s also a kriffer.”

Poe started laughing, his brown eyes seemed to twinkle, “Both of those observations are correct.”

For a moment she debated ending this conversation now versus trying to pry some information out of this man, who seemed like he might be friendly enough to talk. She sighed to herself before speaking, “Who are you people?”

“Good people,” he answered. She snorted at him as he shook his head, “Really, Rey, we’re good people. Kriffers like Allen aside, we’re the good guys here.”

“Good and bad tend to be dependent on your point of view,” she gritted her teeth. “Giving the worst scum in town blasters in order to chase down your escaped prisoner or whatever the hell he is isn’t exactly good. They’re just as likely to use them on innocent people.”

Poe visibly flinched, “That was… a… contested decision.”

She shrugged indifferently, “Who’s this man you’re looking for, anyway?”

He frowned, shifting his weight to his other foot, “A prisoner of war. We were taking him into custody but he escaped. Injured, wearing black, has a helmet that masks his face.” Looking down a moment, he took a deep breath and met her eyes with his own, intensely serious, “Listen, kid… Rey, Rey, sorry. Listen, if ever think you see him, turn the other way and kriffing run. Don’t get near him. Hopefully we’ll have him soon enough but he’s  _ very dangerous _ .”

A shiver ran down her spine. Yeah, she was pretty well aware of that fact. Witnessed  _ very dangerous _ in action and had a few nice bruises due to his actions on her. Still, she gave this man credit, he wanted to warn her. Not enough to keep her mouth shut though, “Are you telling the locals you’re sending out to hunt him that?”

Poe looked away. 

“Another contested decision?” she asked sarcastically. 

He didn’t answer, just met her eyes, looking guilty, and pulled two portions out of his hip pack, “Here, take these.”

“What for?”

“Nothing, I guess. Having to deal with Allen being an asshole to you, maybe. I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Just take them.”

“I don’t want anything from you people.”

He grabbed her hand and shoved the portions into them, “Then give them to someone else. But take them now.” He turned immediately and walked away, looking at the ground and not looking back.

She turned the portions over before slipping them into her bag. At the very least it would mean a few more days of meals before she would have to worry about  _ very dangerous _ doing something terrible to get food.

Debating what to do next, wandered around town, watching the outsiders interact. Not finding much in terms of information that seemed worthwhile. The sun was starting to get lower, she was going to have to leave if she was going to be back to meet Kylo before dark. She didn’t really want to find out what was going to happen if she was late.

She was about to leave when she saw Poe again, heading out a side trail that led through the dunes out of town. Frowning, she walked that way, shaking her head, she didn’t have time for this… This was a stupid idea.

Instead of following the trail, she skirted up one of the dunes, following silently from the high ground. Until the reached a clearing between the two high dunes. Crouching and looking down, she realized that something wasn’t quite right… 

A happy beeping started below and she watched as a BB unit appeared, happily chatting away to Poe. He’d been under a camouflage cover that matched the sand. Now that she’d seen it, she could make out the others with a struggle. There were at least twenty four of the camouflage tarps each appearing to cover something fairly large.

Poe pulled back the cover the BB unit had come from and she caught sight of a nose of a ship. Leaning over the edge of the dune, she got a clearer view. An X-Wing fighter.

The sand shifted under her hand and ran downward. It wasn’t a loud noise but she saw Poe’s eyes shoot upwards and she flattened herself down against the ground, hoping it was enough to keep herself out of sight. After a few minutes she peeked and saw him looking over the fighter again. She crept backwards away from the edge, making sure she would be out of his sight line before standing up and hurrying down the other side.

It was nearly dark, she hurried back to town, swearing under her breath. If she got back to  _ him _ by dark it would be a miracle.

 

\----------

 

He wasn’t there.  She slid off the speeder, looking around wearily in the darkness.

“Kylo?” she called, softly. It was still quite warm, the desert night just beginning to sap the heat of the day from the air, but she found herself shivering. She took a step backwards and felt a hand grab her shoulder and a gloved hand wrap around her throat. He jerked her against him and she felt his face next to hers.

“We need to have a talk about you following instructions,” his voice growled. His hand tightened around her neck enough to make it difficult to breath. 

“Sorry,” she wheezed, “I saw…”

He squeezed tighter, “When were you supposed to be back, little one?”

She struggled to get the words out, “before. dark.”

“Does it look like it’s still light out,” he snarled into her ear. She shook her head, her eyes stinging. She closed her eyes and felt tears leak out of the corners. 

“Followed…” she gasped out,  “outsider…”

He loosened his grip around her throat but didn’t let go.

“I saw one of them leaving on a trail out of town, stayed out of sight and followed,” she was still short of breath, chest rising and falling. 

“And?”

“Fighters. They have fighters, I think there were twenty four of them, hidden,” he tensed behind her and she trembled, more tears overflowing out of her eyes. His hand left her throat and gently brushed them away, before he wrapped both arms around her and linked his hands over her chest, pulling her up against him. He leaned his chin against the back of her head.

“Fighters…” he sounded exasperated, “You’re telling me they have… they have two kriffing squadrons down here?” 

She had no idea how many fighters were in a squadron. “X-wings, I think I counted twenty four.”

He pushed his head against hers, muttering something under his breath before speaking again, “How many of these outsiders are there?”

“It’s hard to tell for sure, but I think at least 30.” She pushed against his arms, hoping he’d release her. He tightened his arms around her and pulled her closer. 

“30,” his voice was quiet. “At least 30.”

He let go and grabbed her shoulders, spinning her to face him. His eyes were black pools reflecting the moonlight in the dark. He put his hand on her cheek, brushing another tear away with his thumb. 

“This is going to be uncomfortable,” he said, calmly, “just try to relax, fighting will make it worse.”

She opened her mouth to ask what he was talking about, but then a sharp pain filled her head and she gasped. It was similar to the other times he’d entered her mind, but much worse. Those times she realized now, he’d been probing gently, moving slowly. This was like he was tearing through her memories of the day, pulling them out quickly and forcefully. She tried to push back, to shove him out back like she’d done when he’d probed through old and terrible memories earlier in the day, but it was like trying to push a docked freighter, he wouldn’t move. Instead he just sank his claws in deeper to her mind. The pain got worse as she fought against the invasion. Her knees buckled she felt his other arm wrap around her to hold her upright.

Then he was gone, leaving a throbbing ache in her head. She took a desperate, sobbing breath, and he gently lowered her to the ground and sat in front of her as she pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them.

“I told you fighting would make it worse,” he said, voice flat, reaching over to push stray strands of hair behind her ears before looking away, thoughtful. 

“Why did you do that?” she asked, pushing her chin against her knees.

“I needed to get every detail,” he shrugged. Looking at her again, his voice became slightly affectionate, “You did good today, kitten. Aside from being late, but all things considered I can forgive that.”

She gritted her teeth, “I’m no kitten.”

He smirked.

“I hate you,” she hissed into her knees, refusing to look at him.

“You’ll get over it,” he said, indifferently, as he got to his feet. Reaching down he grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet, “And if you don’t, I’ll teach you how to turn that hate into power.”

Turn that hate into power? “What the kriff does that even mean?” she snapped, trying to pull out of his grip.

He ignored her question, “We’ve got one more thing to do tonight. I want to check out the ships you told me about.” He released her arm and walked over to where his mask lay in the sand.

She frowned, a tinge of hope in her voice, “Are you going to steal one?”

“Eager to get rid of me?” in the darkness she couldn’t quite make out his expression.

_ Yes, you kriffing monster, _ she thought as she shrugged at him.

He walked over, “It had been a thought before, but not with two squadrons of Resistance fighters waiting. I’ll never get out of the atmosphere.”

“Then why bother going?” It didn’t make much sense to her. Why would he risk heading closer to town and being seen if he knew he couldn’t escape off the planet that way.

He didn’t answer, instead he just walked to the speeder and put his mask in the cargo net before turning to look at her.

She sighed and walked over, rubbing her forehead, as if that could help the throbbing ache that still hung over her mind. Climbing on, she started the engines and waited for him to climb on behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh,” she squinted as she looked back into the pulser. “The resonator interface is anything I’m familiar with. Corellian makes might be your best bet. They have one of the best compatibility matrices, though it might take some soldering to get it hooked in.”
> 
> “Are there any Corellian ships here?”
> 
> She was already starting to walk across the ship yard, “There’s an old YT, it’s garbage, but it has power.”
> 
> He faltered for a second before he recovered. It’s not like the YT line was uncommon. Following the girl until she came to a stop before a ship mostly covered under a tarp. A YT 1300 mostly covered by a tarp.
> 
> A really familiar ship.
> 
> Come on, no, what possible chances are that it… Of course it would look similar, a YT 1300 is a YT 1300. Or rather a YT 1300f in this case. Which is another coincidence, what else would it be?
> 
> Oh kriff. He blinked, giving up on his line of denial, he knew this ship, “You have got to be kriffing me.”

He had her park the speeder on the edge of the plain of hard packed sand that served as a shipyard. There wasn't much there, maybe a dozen or so ships widely spaced out. Most of them were trash. He slid off the speeder. Trash was okay, he suspected at least one of them would be able serve his purpose. 

She had been right about the ships not being guarded. He detected no force signatures nearby. Glancing at the girl, he noticed her glancing around wearily. It was open here and she was didn't like how visible they were.  Afraid of being seen with him.

“Come here,” he said, reacting to an impulsive thought. 

She scowled but slid off the speeder and approached him cautiously. He gave a wry smile, “I'm not going to hurt you, kitten, I want to show you something.”

For a moment he saw the moonlight flash off her teeth as she bared them at him. Kitten was going to be his go to pet name for her from now on. She utterly hated it.

She was eight feet away when she stopped. He stared at her and she slowly moved forward another foot. Then another. By the time she got within the range of his reach, he was thoroughly done with this game. Lunging forward, he snagged her by the upper arm and dragged her to him before spinning her to face the same direction as he was. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close to him.

A stray thought passed through his mind at how nicely she fit against him like that. Like a perfect little puzzle piece. 

“Relax,” he murmured. Raising one of his hands to push the stray hairs back behind her ears. “I just want to show you something. But you need to relax so you can focus.”

He loosened his arms, she was tensing against them, and this wasn't going to work if she stayed that way. “I want you to close your eyes and concentrate on breathing in, out, in, out. Deep breaths in a steady rhythm.

_ Welcome to remedial meditation, Rey _ , he thought, amused. Lightly, he brushed against the surface of her mind, careful to be soft enough that she wouldn't detect him.

She was resisting, not seeing the purpose behind it. “You'll see, but you need to let go and concentrate,” he spoke softly into her ear. “Breathe with me, follow my rhythm.” He closed his own eyes and began to take meditative breaths.

He felt her give in, closing her eyes and trying to follow his pace. Soon he could feel her tension draining as their two chests rose and fell together. Finally, she seemed to be in a good place.

“Okay. Now I want you to open yourself up. Reach out,  _ feel _ out, with your mind. What's out there?”

He could feel her doubts, but he could feel the force ripple as she tried and he opened his eyes and smiled. She had it now. Her breath caught in her throat as she became aware of his force signature. Then the congregation of the the signatures in Niima. Her eyes snapped open and he felt it when she became hyper-aware of everything, every insect, every animal, every single pulse of life. 

It was a normal reaction when doing this for the first time, before you learned better control and how to filter out the noise, but it was especially intense for her. Once again he wondered at just how kriffing strong she was.

She shrank back against him, overwhelmed and terrified. He reached up and stroked her hair, gently. Barely managing to contain a laugh as the thought that he was petting his kitten ran through his head. 

“You were worried someone might see us,” he kept his voice quiet, “is there anyone near us?”

She turned in his arms to look at him, her eyes wide, and shook her head. “N-no… but,” she swallowed, “everywhere…”

“I know, I feel it too. I've just learned to filter out what I'm not interested in.” He shook his head slightly as he looked into those wide eyes, “You don't need to be afraid.”

He needed to get back to why he came here, “Enough fun for tonight. Close your eyes again and concentrate. Pull back inward. Close yourself off.”

For a moment she just stared at him, lower lip quivering, then she closed her eyes.

“Breathe, same as before,” he smiled again to see her following his instructions. His kitten was trainable it seemed.

She did, he felt the sensory overload slipping away from her. Once she'd pulled back, she stayed, breathing deep for another minute. Finally she slowly opened her eyes, still frightened at the experience, “What… what was that?”

“You opened yourself to the Force.” He released her, turning his attention back to the scattered ships.

“The… the for… force?” She stared at him, incredulous.

“Come on,” he said, nodding towards the ships. “Let's see if we can find something that will work.”

She trailed behind him silently as he glanced at the ships. Finally she seemed to build up enough nerve to talk to him. “What are you looking for if you’re not interested in escaping on one?”

He looked at her thoughtfully, “One with power and a working com system.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the damaged distress pulser, “Preferably one that is compatible to be linked with the encryption chip in this.”

Squinting at the cylinder, she outstretched her hand. He frowned and then handed it over. She pulled a small light out of her waist pouch and examined it. Taking extra time to shine the light into it where the blaster bolt and nicked the metal. “The metal is literally warped, what happened to this thing?”

“It was in the pocket that was shredded by the blaster bolt that hit my side.”

“Oh,” she squinted as she looked back into the pulser. “The resonator interface is anything I’m familiar with. Corellian makes might be your best bet. They have one of the best compatibility matrices, though it might take some soldering to get it hooked in.”

“Are there any Corellian ships here?”

She was already starting to walk across the ship yard, “There’s an old YT, it’s garbage, but it has power.”

He faltered for a second before he recovered. It’s not like the YT line was uncommon. Following the girl until she came to a stop before a ship mostly covered under a tarp. A YT 1300 mostly covered by a tarp.

A really familiar ship.

_ Come on, no, what possible chances are that it…  _ Of course it would look similar, a YT 1300 is a YT 1300. Or rather a YT 1300f in this case. Which is another coincidence, what else would it be? 

_ Oh kriff.   _ He blinked, giving up on his line of denial, he knew this ship, “You have got to be kriffing me.”

The girl turned, but whatever she was going to say faded when she saw his expression. Which probably was a little shocked and off kilter at the moment. Shaking his head, how the hell had she ended up in this junk yard?  

_ That idiot.  _ He took a deep breath. Not like this was something that would bother him, after all, it’s just a ship, an old ship… but…  _ That idiot.  _ Had lost her somehow. He shouldn’t be surprised, why was he so surprised?

_ Every time he ever implied that I was a kriff up and he let his ship end up on this hellhole to rot?  _

This ship. This ship, that he often suspected the man loved more than he had loved his wife and son. He’d spent parts of his childhood jealous of this kriffing freighter. But…he’d also spent a good portion of his childhood ON this kriffing freighter. He’d branded it with his name and initials, well, his name and initials back then, in more than a few out of sight spots. 

Okay, it was bothering him. She was a good ship, she didn’t deserve this. 

Kriffing nostalgia. Sentiment and nostalgia were the last thing he needed.

It was kind of poetic, in the end. The idiot had lost it like he lost every other kriffing thing he cared about. The man had a talent for that.

_ Great job, Dad, did you lose her gambling or let her get stolen? _

Okay, this was probably dragging up way too many daddy issues that he had previously securely buried.

“Are you okay?” 

Her voice made him jump, she was watching him with a wary expression, “I mean, it’s garbage but it has power and I think had intact com, though I never actually examined that.”

_ Get your druk together,  _ he thought at himself. This was an opportunity. There were a lot of little tweaks that had been done to this ship. Unless someone had undone them anyway. Hadn’t there been a passive comlink relay? An untraceable communications link would be ideal right now. He’d be able to actually have a conversation rather than just send out a distress signal. Power the com, rig the encryption chip into the matrix, and take the passive link. They’d find the source of the signal eventually, but not be able to trace the link pulse from their to him

“It’s familiar garbage,” he said dryly, glancing at the girl.  She looked at him, puzzled, and he shook his head. “Don’t worry, I think she’s going to be perfect for what I need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seem to be good at writing creepy Kylos. My other story in progress has a different but also creepy Kylo, in that case an obsessive, sometimes violently fixated one. This story's Kylo is much more of a manipulator. I think someone in a comment called him Slytherin like and yeah, that is a pretty accurate description. He really is a creepy SOB though. Even when he decided to teach Rey a bit, he's still kind of doing it while toying with her. He does have a growing affection for her in his twisted way. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing yet. There's potential there to get possessive along with controlling and creepy.
> 
> Y'all had to know he was going to end up on a crash course with the falcon, right? It was fun to dredge up his daddy issues and have him internally lose his shit, at least briefly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking down at her still form he smiled. An emotion flitted around his head that he hadn’t felt in a long time; long enough that it took him a moment to place it.
> 
> Affection.
> 
> He rather liked his little kitten. He pulled his glove off and slid his hand down to rest between her breasts, over her heart, feeling it beat, feeling her chest move as she breathed. He could feel the force moving strongly through her, like conduit without an outlet, just sparking here and there as the power broke free of the containment. A living embodiment of potential.
> 
> Laying down next to her, he gently pulled her body closer to him. He was certain he would wake up before her, given her current state, or he wouldn’t do this. It would frighten her if she woke up to his body around hers. But she fit well next to him, just as she fit so well when he pulled her close in front of him standing.
> 
> That he wanted to give her everything she would take from him had been a bluntly honest truth. He wanted to teach her. It wasn’t his decision in the end, he knew that. His master would make that choice. But he wanted to show her what she could do. He wanted to have her power as his ally.

She really wished he would go somewhere else.

On her back with her shoulders wedged into the console, wires hanging around her head, she could just see enough to know he was hovering over her, leaning on the top of the console. His legs were close enough that she brushed her leg against his boots any time she needed to shift to get better access to some component or another. As if trying to sort out this com system in the dark with her small light wasn’t hard enough without  _ very dangerous _ watching her every move.

There was a snorting laugh above her. She ground her teeth together as she realized the kriffing kriffer was in her head again. It was beginning to get clearer to her that he could easily slip in without her noticing if he was being passive, just listening. The times she felt him he was active, how painful it was at that point depended on how aggressive he was being in getting the information out of her.

“Come on now,  _ very dangerous _ is a much nicer than kriffing kriffer.”

She bared her teeth and refused to give him a response, instead following the wire in her hand to the terminal, squinting as she looked at the corresponding wire junction. It was hard to tell for sure until she could see the chip out of the casing of the pulser, but if she was right about the pinout she’d see, it should…

Something lightly brushed the exposed skin of her calf and she jumped with a squeak, knocking her head against the inner top of the console, dropping her light.

There was a laugh above her as he brushed her calf lightly with the toe of his boot again. She scrabbled around for her dropped light. “Don’t you have anything better to do right now?” Picking the light, “Or anything other than…” She blinked, leaning forward to squint at the component her light happened to be shining on, “Holy karking kriff.” 

“What?” the voice above her sounded more serious.

“There’s a passive relay in here!” she felt slightly awed. Something like that in working condition was worth hundreds of portions. Worth enough that it might be worth stealing from Plutt for it. After all, there was no way Plutt had any idea it was there or he would have ripped it out a long time ago. 

She jumped as a hand touched her stomach. Kriff, she hadn’t even heard him move. 

He was peering in intently, “It’s still there? Does it work?”

“I don’t…” she tucked her chin down to her chest so she could just look at his face from her current angle, “What do you mean it’s still there?”

He shook his head, “Does it work?”

It was probably a bad idea to push her luck with  _ very dangerous _ but this day had been exhausting and she was tired and hungry and really sick of the kriffing son of a bitch. “You didn’t answer me, how the kriff did you know that?”

By the time she even knew what was happening her head was cracking to the floor hard enough to stun her. There was a weight on her pressing down and as her eyes fought to focus she realized his face was only a few inches from hers.

“You forgot bitchy. You’re also getting really bitchy,” he said coldly.

Her shoulders were stinging where they’d been scratched by the sides of the access panel when he dragged her out. She snarled at him, “Stay out of my head!”

His chin brushed against hers as he brought his face closer, “I’m not even trying. Don’t shout your kriffing thoughts.” He leaned back, straddling her abdomen, “Answer my question before I actually start getting angry.”

“I don’t know. It looks fine, but that doesn’t mean it works,” she pushed against his weight, trying to shift out from under him. Fighting back threads of panic that were slowly starting, trying to hold herself together. “We’d also need to find one of the links for it, they might not be here.”

“We can deal with that when we get the rest working,” she flinched as his thumb brushed her lips. It took all her willpower not to try to bite him. He chuckled, “Yes, biting  _ very dangerous _ is a bad idea. The kriffing kriffer is  _ almost _ as cranky as you are right now.”

He tapped his thumb against her lips, as it daring her to do it. She let out a hissing breath through gritted teeth. “What about the encryption chip? Can it be linked?” He tapped her mouth one more time before moving his hand away.

“I think so, I can’t say for certain until I see the chip’s pinout better. It needs to be soldered and I don’t have the tools to do that here.”

“You have them back home?”

She nodded. He sighed, sliding off of her, “Okay, we’ll come back in a night or two and finish this. And find the comlinks. I’d say come back tomorrow, but I don’t want to push my luck on someone noticing activity.”

He grabbed her arm as he stood, pulling her to her feet. “You’re just going to have to put up with me a little longer,” he smirked. “Then you’ll be rid of me.” 

Her eyes stung a minute and she blinked, trying to pull away from his grasp. Then she froze, staring at him.

He had no intention of letting her go.

She didn’t know how she knew that, but she did. He thought she was special, powerful, he wanted to take her with him when he finally left. It was crazy, this was crazy. He did know this ship too, she realized. It had been his father’s ship, back when he was a child and had a different name…

Suddenly it was if a brick slammed into her mind and she stumbled, falling, but his hand was still gripping her arm and he held her up, dragging her with him off the ship. Into the cool dry air of the desert night, grabbing her shoulders and spinning her to face him, her feet finally finding the ground and she managed to hold herself upright, if barely so.

His face was inches from hers, his eyes reflecting the moonlight as they stared into her. She expected anger after the way he’d dragged her out of the ship, but there was none. Instead there was some kind of wondering, awe.

“You had no idea you were even doing that, did you?” 

“D-doing what?” her voice shook. Her head was throbbing. She wanted him to stop looking at her. She wanted him to be anywhere but near her.

He shook his head, disbelief in his voice, “I didn’t even feel you there at first. And you weren’t even trying.”

She trembled under his grip. Confused. Tired. Looping back to the thought that he didn’t intend to let her go over and over.

“You learn new tricks fast, kitten,” he murmured. “Amazing, though I’m going to have to be oh so careful with you, aren’t I?”

She closed her eyes for just a moment before opening them, it was a fight to focus, “Ben, you used to be called Ben.”

His mouth set into a thin line and he didn’t answer. She stared up into his face, her voice a harsh whisper, “What do you want from me?!” 

He pulled back, standing his full height looking down at her. Appearing to be thinking about the question, “Everything I can get you to give me.”  She shook slightly at that answer. “And I can give you everything you’ll take from me. You are something special, you’re not meant to be wasted here.”

Taking her arm more gently, he pulled her towards their speeder, “Come on, kitten, time to go home.”

 

\---

 

He’d managed to get them both back to the AT-AT.

The speeder was unfamiliar and awkward to handle, but the girl was in no shape to pilot it. When he’d realized  _ she _ had slipped into  _ his _ head he had reacted a bit stronger than was probably needed in his haste to get her the kriff out. Her balance was off and she was moving sluggishly. He’d blasted her hard, and the effects were getting worse rather than better still. There wouldn’t be lasting damage, at least he didn’t think so, but it was going to be a day or two before she was back to being functional.

Once back in the safety of the AT-AT he sat her on the floor and made her drink water. She nearly dropped the bottle once out of hands that had a perpetual tremble. He left here there as he prepared the ration pack before coming back with the food. Getting her to eat was harder, he had to hand feed her, compelling her to actually eat the food. In her current state she was fairly susceptible to his suggestions, at least, chewing and swallowing what he gave her, so he didn’t have to actually shove the food down her throat.

He left her there and went outside, letting the chill of the night air clear his thoughts. 

With no training at all she’d managed to slip into his head. Slip in and pull out clear thoughts. Minds were messy, actually being able to filter out the noise and understand what was actually going on in there was difficult. He had a natural talent for it and it took him a year of training to be able to clearly skim surface thoughts the way she had.

Between his sense of awe and the fact that she had been unaware of what she was doing, he held no anger towards her despite the violation. It was going to complicate things, since she pulled his intent to keep her out of his head. They were building a relationship of fear and trust and he was going to have to increase the trust part or she was going to find a way to turn on him in the end. He still needed her too, if he was going to get out of here alive.

When he finally went back inside she’d fallen asleep curled up on the floor, trembling and whimpering in her sleep. He sat down next to her, watching her face as it contorted in the nightmare. Gently he reached out and placed a hand on her forehead. He wasn’t sure at first if he could remember how, but as soon as he touched her it was if it hadn’t been years since he soothed a mind instead of tormented it. Her breathing softened and her body relaxed, the night terror dissipated. She fell into a still, deep sleep.

Looking down at her still form he smiled. An emotion flitted around his head that he hadn’t felt in a long time; long enough that it took him a moment to place it. 

Affection.

He rather liked his little kitten. He pulled his glove off and slid his hand down to rest between her breasts, over her heart, feeling it beat, feeling her chest move as she breathed. He could feel the force moving strongly through her, like conduit without an outlet, just sparking here and there as the power broke free of the containment. A living embodiment of potential. 

Laying down next to her, he gently pulled her body closer to him. He was certain he would wake up before her, given her current state, or he wouldn’t do this. It would frighten her if she woke up to his body around hers. But she fit well next to him, just as she fit so well when he pulled her close in front of him standing. 

That he wanted to give her everything she would take from him had been a bluntly honest truth. He wanted to teach her. It wasn’t his decision in the end, he knew that. His master would make that choice. But he wanted to show her what she could do. He wanted to have her power as his ally. 

Maybe it was the strain of this whole ordeal catching up with him, but part of him murmured that he wanted more than that. When was the last time he’d had someone in his arms? How many times in his life had he even wanted to be this close to someone? Most of his life had been spent recoiling from the touch of others. 

He didn’t think he’d mind his kitten touching him. In time, maybe he could teach her not to mind him touching her. Such a strange thing, how similar they were in certain ways. Afraid of contact, afraid to trust, and both of them alone.

Lightly he reached out and brushed some hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear before snuggling closer to her again. He felt calm, calmer than he had in a long time.

Closing his eyes, feeling the warmth of the girl next to him, he let sleep take him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why did they need a passive relay?” she asked, almost musingly, closing her eyes. He let out an aggravated sigh. Not liking that she wasn’t dropping this yet.
> 
> “You should rest.”
> 
> “Not the type of thing you’d really need most of the time.”
> 
> He snorted in aggravation, “You intend to be irritating, don’t you, kitten?”
> 
> “Don’t call me kitten,” she looked away, “and it’s just a curious thing to have on a freighter.”
> 
> “Sorry, kitten,” she glared at him and he just smirked. Then he shrugged, “He was a smuggler, he used that ship for it. Before I was born.” He sounded indifferent, “might have gone back to it again. Maybe that’s how he lost her and she ended up in this junkyard.” He looked away and brought the water bottle up to take a sip.
> 
> “Smuggler,” she said, quietly, thoughtfully. “Like Han Solo and Chewbacca.”
> 
> He was mid sip as she spoke and sputtered, choking for a minute. “What did you just say?”
> 
> “Han Solo and Chewbacca? And the Millennium Falcon? There was some wookies in Niima once who told me stories.” She shifted uncomfortably, his gaze had intensified and there was an emotion in them she didn’t quite recognize, “They said they did the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs.”

He woke up to her struggling, weakly, to break out from his arms, and cursed softly as he sat up.

She was still in a daze, worse than the day before. Her voice slurred when she tried to speak. He winced, hoping she’d reached the worst of the effects of his mind blast.  At least in her current state she probably wasn’t going to remember waking up with him holding her. 

He rested his hand against her forehead and pushed into her mind. It was a storm of pain, fear, and confusion. Gently he pushed a false calm over her and was surprised to find she tried to fight it. He pushed more firmly. Her body relaxed again, fear and confusion muted. There wasn’t much he could do about the pain. She curled up again on the floor.

Sighing, he got to his feet and went to grab a water bottle. He’d have her drink and eat and then was going to push her unconscious. It would be the easiest way for her to ride out the worst of it.  He crouched down and slipped an arm behind her shoulders, she whimpered and tried to pull out of his grasp. Tightening his arm around her he brought her upright and pushed the lip of the bottle against her mouth. “I’m helping you, drink.”

She opened her eyes and blinked at him. They were unfocused, dazed, he wasn’t sure if she was registering him or not. He tipped the bottle up enough that the water touched her lips and she drank, cautiously at first, then greedily. A little too greedily, he thought, pulling the bottle back quickly, splashing water down her chin. “Easy or you’re going to sick it back up again.” 

Her tongue darted out to lick the moisture off her chin. His eyes followed it and a jolt of desire shot through his core. He muttered under his breath and smashed that feeling down, this wasn’t the time for it. Waiting a minute, he brought the bottle back to her lips and helped her drink again. Taking another break to let what she’d taken in settle before lifting for a third time.

When the bottle was drained he made one of the ration packs. He made one instead of two. She wasn’t going to be able to eat much, he’d just share his with her.

It was harder to get her to eat than the night before. She didn’t want it.  He shoved bits of the bread into her mouth, holding his hand under chin to prevent her from spitting it out, and press his hand against her temple. 

**_Eat._ **

Her mind pushed back against his. It was feeble, but still frustrating that she would even try to fight him in her current state. He didn’t know why she was being so much more resistant today than she had been last night, when she was not nearly as bad as she was now.

**_You will EAT._ **

She flinched and chewed the small piece of bread, swallowing.

Each bite was met by equal resistance. His kitten was irritatingly stubborn. He fed her a third of the bread before deciding that would have to do, gently laying her back on the floor again. Regarding her thoughtfully, he ate the rest of the food in silence, putting the plate down when he finished and leaning over her to place a hand on her forehead.

**_Sleep._ **

She let out a soft cry and pushed back, her fright sharpening under the veil of calm he’d placed on her. He frowned, he could just squeeze his mind around hers and knock her out, but wanted to save that as a last resort. It wasn’t violent but it could aggravate her already damaged mind. It would be much easier for her if she’d let him compel her.

**_You are safe. It is safe. Sleep._ **

She resisted again, but it was weaker this time. 

**_SLEEP._ **

Her eyes closed and her consciousness faded. He sighed in relief before gently picking her up and carrying her to her hammock. Laying her out gently and letting his fingers brush down her arms. Hopefully when she woke up she’d be passed the worst of this.

He sat down on the floor, taking the quiet time to go through the memories he’d pulled from her of her time in town. Letting his mind float on her recollections of the faces of the “outsiders” she’d noticed. He recognized some of them from the ambush at the village, they were no doubt part of the Resistance scum that had tried to capture him. 

His mind fell to the vivid memory of her encounter with the blond haired man who’d wanted to bribe her to be one of their spies for him. Allen. He recognized that son of a bitch, Aves Allen. Held rank of commander with the terrorists.  Playing over the memory he felt a tiny bit of pride at how his kitten had handled and denied the kriff. He hoped he’d get a chance to kill him.

The other man, the one that had intervened, he recognized him from the village. That was the kriffing son of a bitch who’d put the blaster wound on his side. He shifted his torso thoughtfully, noting just the slightest bit of pain at the motion. The wound seemed to be healing well. He really needed to unwrap it and see how it was, but he didn’t want to risk it until the girl was functional enough to help him again.

Her memory of that second man, Dameron, Poe Dameron, grated against his nerves. She hadn’t backed down from her stand against him but there was a sense of gratitude towards him for being willing to help her. That he’d gone out of his way to warn her about  _ very dangerous _ . She’d found him kind. Kind. He ground his teeth together, feeling a wave of rage boil out of his core. He was going to kill that son of bitch. And maybe he’d need to have a little talk with his kitten when she was better about having such feelings for their enemies. 

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to get the rage back under control. Instead focusing on her memory of following Dameron to the fighters. Twenty four, two full squadrons of fighters. He swore under his breath.  In a best case scenario, once communication was initiated with the Finalizer, they could arrange a surprise attack and take out their fighters, leaving them wounded and at the mercy of a TIE air assault. 

The thought of laying waste to the entire town, Resistance scum and their sympathizers, made him smile. And they may have not gotten the map, if there ever really was one, but he’d leave here with a different prize. His eyes flicked over to the girl.

His girl. His kitten. 

He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. 

 

\---

  
  


She awoke to a throbbing head and waves of nausea. Struggling, she swung her legs over and sat a minute, her feet on the floor steadying the swing of the hammock that made her feel sicker. Had she ever been this sick before? Maybe once or twice after severe dehydration? Her mind didn’t want to cooperate as she tried to remember.

Another wave of nausea hit hard and she felt saliva pooling under her tongue. Oh kriff. She tried to fight it back a moment. Vomiting cost her nourishment and moisture, so she’d long ago trained herself to do anything she could to not give in to it.

Stumbling to her feet, nearly losing her balance, she admitted defeat, her body had determined she was going to retch whether her mind wanted it to or not. She staggered towards the door to the outside, nearly falling again. Then a hand grabbed her elbow and held her up, helping her out the door.

She wasn’t sure if which was worse outside, the heat of the midday sun or the blindingly bright light that seemed to sear through her brain, she gagged as she jerked away from his grasp on her arm and fell, crawling off to the side as her stomach clenched and ejected its contents. Long after it was empty her body refused to give up, causing her to heave again and again, bringing up nothing.

Spitting, trying to remove the vile taste from her mouth, she realized he was next to her, angling himself between her and the sun to keep her in his shadow. His fingers were holding back the mess of her hair, nearly half of which was now escaped from her hair buns. “Easy,” he murmured. Still breathing hard, she tried to turn her head to look at him, but the movement made her head spin and set off another wave of dry heaves.

When that passed she stayed with her head down, afraid to move it. After a few minutes she pushed herself to her knees, trying to keep her head down and eyes locked on one spot. He was still next to her, she flushed slightly as she spoke, her voice hoarse, “I need to go…”

There was a long pause, she got the feeling it took him a moment to understand what she was saying. “Can you handle that yourself? I’ll turn around.”

“I think so,” she answered. With all honesty, she wasn’t so sure, but she wasn’t going to let him hold her up to kriffing pee.

He turned around, still protecting her from the horrible brightness by keeping her in his shadow. She fumbled her pants down and went, barely keeping her balance. Once done she struggled with her pants and managed to pull them back on. Rocking back, she tried to stand and immediately fell back onto her ass.

Then he was there again helping her up and back inside to the blessedly cool and dark interior of the AT-AT.  She let herself lean against him, hating the contact and the show of weakness, but she needed the support. He helped her down to the floor next to the wall and she leaned her throbbing head against the cool metal.

“What happened to me?”

One of her water bottles was pushed into her hands, “If you think you could keep it down, drink.” His voice was flat. He sat down on the floor next to her, watching her cautiously. She opened the bottle and took a small sip, hoping to get the taste of bile from her mouth. He was avoiding the question, but it seemed like too much effort to bother to ask again.

She rolled her head back to look at him, the night before was blurry, but she remembered being on the ship. And just knowing things about him, about his intentions. And the pain shooting through her mind. 

He wasn’t planning on ever letting her go. Her stomach clenched and she fought back another wave of nausea.  Part of her wanted to confront him with that fact, but she was in no condition to fight right now. Instead she let her mind travel to some of the other things she knew.

“That was your father’s ship.” She wasn’t asking, she knew. He leaned back on his hands and didn’t answer, so she pushed again, “That’s how you knew about the passive relay.”

His head cocked slightly to the side, and she thought if he stayed silent she might scream. 

“Yes,” his voice was still flat. Just yes. He was being very guarded at the moment.

She took another small sip of water. Her stomach clenched and she took a deep breath, shoving the bottle back at him. “I can’t. I’ll...”

He nodded, taking the bottle, eyes still watching her intently. She wasn’t feeling like giving up this line of questioning.

“Your name used to be Ben.”

His mouth tightened into a thin line, “Don’t mention that name again. The boy who went by that name is gone.” There was an edge to his voice, she squinted at him, puzzled. His eyes just met hers with a cold intensity that made her look away.

“Why did they need a passive relay?” she asked, almost musingly, closing her eyes. He let out an aggravated sigh. Not liking that she wasn’t dropping this yet.

“You should rest.”

“Not the type of thing you’d really need most of the time.”

He snorted in aggravation, “You intend to be irritating, don’t you, kitten?”

“Don’t call me kitten,” she looked away, “and it’s just a curious thing to have on a freighter.”

“Sorry, kitten,” she glared at him and he just smirked. Then he shrugged, “He was a smuggler, he used that ship for it. Before I was born.” He sounded indifferent, “might have gone back to it again. Maybe that’s how he lost her and she ended up in this junkyard.” He looked away and brought the water bottle up to take a sip.

“Smuggler,” she said, quietly, thoughtfully. “Like Han Solo and Chewbacca.”

He was mid sip as she spoke and sputtered, choking for a minute. “What did you just say?”

“Han Solo and Chewbacca? And the Millennium Falcon? There was some wookies in Niima once who told me stories.” 

She shifted uncomfortably, his gaze had intensified and there was an emotion in them she didn’t quite recognize, “They said they did the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs.”

“Twelve,” he muttered, so soft she barely heard him. She squinted, confused at what he meant, he shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. And Solo was a criminal and a thief. Nothing to glorify there.”

Her frown deepened, not liking to be told who she should glorify or not, “So was your father also a criminal then?”

“And a thief,” he agreed, dryly. 

“And you’re a murderer,” she looked away, this was probably crossing a line.

“I’m a soldier,” his voice had an edge to it. 

“You were going to kill me,” it had only been a few days ago that he had been hiding in the shadows of the wrecked destroyer stalking her. It felt longer. “You were  _ hunting _ me.”

“I’m a soldier injured in enemy territory,” he said, indifferently. “There are casualties in war. I had to survive.”

She let out a snort, and leaned her head against the wall again. Her head kriffing hurt, “It’s not my war, I want nothing to do with any of you. I was also just trying to survive. And I was surviving without harming anyone.”

“There’s no fairness in war. It would have been unfortunate, and in your case a waste. You barely had any water and your talents would have been lost before they were ever found.”

There was no emotion in his voice at all. He could have been talking about what time of day it was. She felt a wave of disgust pass through her before she found herself taking in what he said, “ _ My talents _ ?”

“You might be the strongest force-sensitive I’ve ever met,” he said, a touch of awe in his voice. “The force is amazingly strong in you.”

“In  _ me _ ?” she felt another wave of dizziness as she tried to comprehend something as crazy as her having special powers.

“In  _ you _ . I showed you how to open yourself up to feel it yesterday.” She felt a bit of panic at the memory, it had been so terrifyingly overwhelming. He leaned forward, gently turning turning her head to face him, she flinched at his touch before her hazel eyes met his brown ones, “You’ve been using it, unfocused and untrained your whole life, kitten. You were using it when you treated my wound, I felt you healing me as you tended to it. And yesterday you slipped into my head without even trying, without me even realizing it at first.”

She closed her eyes, she felt like his were trying to devour her, “This is crazy. It’s nonsense.”

He chuckled, “You’ve seen what I can do, why would it be nonsense?”

“I’m noone.”

His hands touched her face again and she tried to pull away, but he cupped around her chin firmly, a thumb lightly brushing across her lips, “But you could be someone. I could make you someone.” He released her and stood, “I  _ am _ going to make you someone. People will tremble before you when I’m done.”

She closed her eyes tightly, feeling sick again. She heard him starting to walk away and spoke with sudden firmness, “I’m not leaving. I will not leave here.” His footsteps stopped and she tensed, not sure what his reaction was going to be.

“We’ll see,” he said, voice with a touch of amusement. And then his steps faded away as he went outside.

 

\---

 

He stood in the shadow of the AT-AT. Even in the shade it was barely tolerable today, the desert sun was fiercer than normal. His hatred of this pathetic planet grew daily. For now, heat or no heat, he needed air, needed to get his thoughts in some semblance of order.

She was clearly better than this morning, which was a relief. Clearly she was feeling well enough to feel like straddling the lines she knew she shouldn’t cross again. Hopefully another day and she’ll be done with all but a few lingering side effects. Then he could move ahead with the current plan of action.

_ Like Han Solo _ , he snorted as her voice saying his father’s name echoed in his head. That she knew who Han Solo was irritated him. That she apparently had some kind of admiration for a man who had been a criminal who’d failed anyone who ever cared about him miserably throughout his life made him feel slightly sick. It showed her youth that she’d hear a few stories about anyone and admire them from that. Behind a myth was usually broken person who failed to live up to the hype.

She’d known she was crossing the line by calling him a murderer, though it hadn’t really bothered him much. He did what was necessary, sometimes he may have gone beyond just what was necessary. But he didn’t consider any of his actions on this planet to have been anything other than survival in a war zone. He was in enemy territory and had a duty to survive. And if innocent people had to die, they were just civilian casualties in a war.

It was something she would learn to understand in time. Once she understood what it was like to have the power to decide the fate of others in her hands. The power to take or spare those who cowered before her.

She would come with him, in chains if that was how he had to take her. It was cute that she thought she could stop it from happening. Her life of waiting for a family that dumped her like garbage to come back for her had ended when he found her.

Wiping sweat off his forehead, he turned and headed back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler chapter, we'll get the plot moving again soon.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her teeth ground together angrily and she closed her hands into fists. She would not keep listening to him, to this. None of this was his concern. She turned her head away from him, ignoring the dizzy spell that came from moving too fast.
> 
> His hand clamped under her chin and forced he face up to look at him. She blinked, trying to ignore the stringing and wetness in her eyes. He leaned close, his voice cold and sharp, “They’re never coming back for you. They dumped you like trash here, they never intended to come back.”
> 
> She slammed her eyes shut as rage swelled in her, like a dune avalanche, starting slow and building in force. She felt herself reach out and grab him and shove, hard… yet her body didn’t move, her fists remained clenched at her side. There was a noise of surprise and a hard thud. Flicking her eyes back open she saw him sprawled out on his back. He pushed himself up on his elbows, staring at her in shock with his mouth hanging slightly open. She realized her own mouth matched, hanging in shock and disbelief. She’d never moved, she’d never touched him. How?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been concentrating on my other fic, Chained, a bit, sorry about the delay in updates for this one.

She woke up in the hammock again, not remembering how she got there. Not really remembering much of what had happened after he had walked out of the AT-AT. She supposed it was a little silly to ponder. Either she had gotten in it herself and fallen asleep here or she’d fallen asleep on the floor and he’d carried her here. But still, part of her wanted to know.

Slowly, she sat up, closing her eyes as a wave of dizziness hit her. It wasn’t as severe as it had been earlier, but she was going to have to move slow. Her headache had eased to a dull throb and the nausea had receded to just queasiness. Her mouth was dry and her throat scratchy, vaguely she remembered not being able to drink for fear of not being able to keep it down.

He was looking at her, she could feel it. Slowly, she opened her eyes again to see him sitting cross legged on the floor, hands resting on his knees, those dark brown eyes were on her. He cocked his head to the side, watching her thoughtfully.

“What?!” she snapped. Whether it was the volume of her own voice or the exertion of speaking, pain shot through her head and she winced.

His lips twitched into a small smile, “You’re feeling better.” It was a statement, not a question, his voice cool yet almost approving.

“It’s a little better,” she fixed her eyes on the floor so the room would quit spinning.

She heard him get up, heard his footsteps approaching. A hand pressed against her shoulder and she slowly looked up at him, meeting dark eyes staring down at her. They were as intense as they always seemed to be, yet, different somehow. There was a softness in them, a gentleness. It was more terrifying than comforting, and she suddenly became aware of how he was towering over her, towering despite hunching over slightly. Breaking her gaze away from him she fought the feeling that he was cocooning her, surrounding her. 

A bottle pressed into her hands, and as if he was sensing her discomfort he pulled back. She snorted to herself at the “as if” in her thoughts, this man, monster, creature, whatever the kriff he was, was most definitely sensing and reacting to her. He crouched down in front of her, resting his hands on her knees while looking up at her. Giving a small nod at the water bottle, he spoke, “Drink. Slowly, but drink.”

It was a command, not a request. It irritated her. It irritated her that he was still touching her, and she glared down at the hands on her knees. How about he just back the kriff off and she’ll drink if she wants to drink?

Apparently he sensed that train of thought too, but rather than being accommodating, he instead slid his hands forward up her thighs. She stiffened under his touch, which he chose to ignore, his hands slipping up her hips and under the sides of her shirt. Her heart began to pound, frantically, as his fingers brushed against her skin as he gripped around her waist and his thumbs brushed lightly against her stomach.

Her eyes closed as she felt panic start to cloud any kind of control or rational thought.

He let go, bringing his hands back down to rest on her knees, tapping his fingers on her lightly. She opened her eyes to glare at him. He said nothing, but in his eyes, calculating and slightly amused, she could see an unspoken question of whether she understood?

Understood not to push her luck?

A small smile, “Drink.” It was a command again.

She fought the urge to throw the bottle across the room and instead opened it, taking a sip and swishing it through her dry mouth before swallowing. It felt good on her scratchy throat. Slowly drinking in silence, looking anywhere but at him. Trying to piece together what had happened before she had gotten sick now that her brain was at least a bit more functional.

Vaguely, she remembered asking him earlier what had happened to her and he had ignored the question. She had been too tired, too sick, to press it then. 

“What did you do to me?” she blurted out. It had been him, hadn’t it? He had done something to her. They had been on the ship and then she’d known… things… she shouldn’t have been able to know and then there’d been a feeling of being smashed. But not physically, her mind being smashed. She looked at him again.

His expression was flat but his eyes narrowed slightly and his head tilted, just the slightest bit, “You were asleep on the floor and I put you in bed.” 

That wasn’t what she meant and he knew it. Her anger started to rise. His hands tightened on her knees, his eyes narrowing. It was an unspoken warning that she was treading now into territory he didn’t want her to go.

You know what, kriff the son of a bitch.

“You did something to me that made me sick,” she said it as an accusation, but her voice was calm.

He let out an exasperated huff and dug his fingertips into her leg. Telling her to drop this line of thought without ever saying a word. He was strangely good at communicating things without having to say them out loud.

Not that she was giving a flying kriff right now what he wanted. She wanted to know what had happened, and now also wanted to know why he was hell bent on not telling her. And frankly, he seemed to be acting careful around her right now, which might make this the more opportune time to press the bastard.

“What’s the point of not telling me?”

He broke eye contact and for a second she felt… something like guilt, or maybe remorse… and then his eyes flicked back to her sharply and the feeling was gone. But she thought she understood now-- he felt bad about it. Whatever he’d done that had hurt her he felt bad about. And he didn’t want to talk about it because he wasn’t used to feeling bad about anything he did.

A sigh left his lips, “I do need to be guarded around you, don’t I, kitten?”

She didn’t know what he meant by that but she flashed her teeth at him calling her kitten. His fingers just tapped where they rested on her legs, drumming one finger of each hand, then the next, then the next, till he got around to the first again.

It made her want to scream. 

His fingers stilled, he reached up and pushed strands of hair out of her face and tucked them behind her ears. It was a gentle, affectionate action, coupled with a strangely possessive gleam that flashed in his eyes. She felt her lips tremble, it was somehow more terrifying than times when he’d been angry with her. 

“You startled me,” he said, softly.

She blinked, he was answering her question, the first one, anyway, Or at least trying to, but she really didn’t understand. He traced a finger down her cheek and she shivered at the touch.

“You slipped into my mind. It was, unexpected, and I wasn’t aware of it,” his voice was calm, his finger traced down to her chin. “When I realized… I was startled, and acted a little… aggressively… to get you out.” He sighed, “I think by tomorrow most of these… severe side effects… will be gone."

The idea that she somehow could have been wandering in his head was terrifyingly surreal. But if she hadn’t been, how would she known about the ship? How would she have known that he was planning to take her? She shivered at the last thought, telling herself again that she would not leave, no matter what he wanted.

“You’re allowed in my head and I’m not allowed in yours?” she said, dryly, unable to think of any other response or question.

He blew air out his nose… she got the sense that he was amused, “For now, yes.”

“For now?”

A small smile, “In time, I may be willing to share more.”

_ In time _ , felt goosebumps break out down her arms. Once again the intent was there that she would remain with him. She remembered the bottle in her hand and sipped the water nervously.

“Though I’m not sure if I’d recommend it, ” he continued, with a chuckle, “it’s dark and easy to get lost in there.”

She closed her eyes,  _ I will not leave I will not I will not leave not with anyone but especially not with him _

His hands moved off of her and she blinked her eyes open to find him standing again, leaning over her again. She looked up to meet his eyes, intense and frustrated, glaring down at her in a way that made her want to shrink back.

“Aren’t you tired of being alone, Rey?” his voice was cold, there was a touch of anger to it.

She did shrink back, unable to stop herself. He just leaned further forward, following  her as she tried to pull away, “I think you are. I think you’re tired of having no one you can trust. No one you can talk to. I think you’re tired of waiting for false dreams that were never going to come true.”

Her teeth ground together angrily and she closed her hands into fists. She would not keep listening to him, to this. None of this was his concern. She turned her head away from him, ignoring the dizzy spell that came from moving too fast. 

His hand clamped under her chin and forced he face up to look at him. She blinked, trying to ignore the stringing and wetness in her eyes. He leaned close, his voice cold and sharp, “They’re never coming back for you. They dumped you like trash here, they never intended to come back.”

She slammed her eyes shut as rage swelled in her, like a dune avalanche, starting slow and building in force. She felt herself reach out and grab him and shove, hard… yet her body didn’t move, her fists remained clenched at her side. There was a noise of surprise and a hard thud. Flicking her eyes back open she saw him sprawled out on his back. He pushed himself up on his elbows, staring at her in shock with his mouth hanging slightly open. She realized her own mouth matched, hanging in shock and disbelief. She’d never moved, she’d never touched him. How?

Laughter startled her. He was laughing, looking up at the ceiling with a grin. When he brought his eyes to meet hers again, they were filled with a joyful awe. He took a breath, shaking his head at her, “You’re amazing. You…” His head shook as he began to laugh again.

In a split second he was on his feet, striding purposefully towards her. She shrank back but his hands grabbed her by her upper arms and pulled her to her feet. A wave of dizziness hit her and she stumbled, but he held her firmly until she got her feet under her. Once she was steady he shot one of his hands under her chin and forced it up. His eyes bore into hers as he grinned, “I can’t even imagine what you’re going to be once you’ve been trained.”

He leaned closer, his eyes just inches from hers, “You are not meant to waste away here, my pet. And if you give yourself over to me, as my student, as my ally, as my…” he stopped abruptly, taking a breath, “I will never abandon you. I’ll always come back. I’d die before I would leave you of my own will.”

She shook in his hands, feeling both drawn to him and terrified of him at the same time. There was a devotion in his words that part of her needed and wanted. Another part of her recoiled away. This wasn’t a man, it was a monster. If he was right, if she was somehow different and special like he said, what would he turn her into? 

It was surreal, all of this.

His eyes closed and he pushed his forehead against hers for a moment. She squirmed, wanting to get away from his touch. Then his head moved, leaning down lower, his chin resting on her shoulder and his sigh brushing air against her ear, sending shivers down her back.

Softly, ever so softly, he spoke, “I’m tired of being alone too.”

And then he released her, leaving her staring at his back as he walked across to the other side of the AT-AT.  Feeling strangely numb, her heart in her throat. A jumble of emotions running through her head. 

She tried to think about what this all meant before giving up. It was too hard to think right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do enjoy writing these two as they antagonize each other. I had intended to move the plot a bit this chapter but they took over and I can't always make them stop ;)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was the same soothing warmth that came from her touch, but a hundred times stronger. It coursed through his entire body like a drug, lighting his nerves on fire, but in a way that was amazingly pleasurable. For a moment everything faded but the feeling traveling through his body.
> 
> Opening his eyes, he blinks to see the girl on the floor, sprawled out like she tripped over her own feet. There was a shocked and terrified look in her eyes, “I don’t… I didn’t mean…” She fumbled over words before shutting her mouth. It took him a moment before he realized she knew she did something to him, but had no idea what. And she was terrified he was going to be angry.
> 
> He looked down at the wound and felt a wave of shock. It was half the size it had been, the healing had been accelerated drastically. Rising to his feet from his seat on the table, he walked over to her, offering his hand to help her up, “You didn’t hurt me.”
> 
> She took his hand, looking wary as he pulled her to her feet. Her eyes flicked to the wound and widened in shock, “How…” she swallowed, “how did…”
> 
> Grabbing her chin firmly, he forced his girl to look at him, “You did, kitten.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bad and didn't give this a proof read before releasing it here. Hopefully the grammar and typos aren't too atrocious.

He sat down on a table, feeling the pointed glare of the girl as he pushed the scraps that were spread across it to the side to make room. As uncivilized she was, she got affronted very easily when she felt he was misusing or abusing the items in her AT-AT. She hated when he touched anything or moved anything. She found it rude, judging from the emotions and thoughts that bounced around her head as she would stare at him. It was rather amusing.

She was sitting on the floor near the hammock, watching him carefully. An hour or so after their little confrontation when she woke up, he fixed a ‘quarter portion’ as she called it, splitting it between them. He was hungry enough to eat the entire thing, but it was the smallest portion of the ration that could be made, and he had doubted, correctly, that she’d eat much. She ate about a third of the bread before she declined anything else.

Despite what she thought of him, he didn’t believe in being wasteful. Their supplies were starting to dwindle, both food and water. He was hopeful that they would be able to get off this drukhole before they ran out. If not, well, he had his own ways of getting things.

Pulling his shirt over his head and dropping it on the table, he ran his hand down over the bandages wrapped around his torso, pressing lightly down where the wound was. There was pain, but not much. Probably a good sign.

He fumbled for the knots holding the bandages on. She’d made them secure, he swore under his breath as he tried to undo them. It didn’t help that he was reaching awkwardly behind himself to reach them.

“Does it ever occur to you to  _ ask _ for help?” there was an unacceptable amount of contempt in her voice, but he decided to let it go. For now, anyway.

“On rare occasions,” he turned to look at her, staring her down. There was no way he was going to  _ ask _ , not after that last bit of snark from her. And he knew his kitten well enough to know he wasn’t going to have to.

As if responding to that thought, she stood up slowly with a huff and walked over to him. He couldn’t help but smirk. She leaned around him and worked the knots out quickly and began to carefully unwind the bandages. The rags directly over the wound were stuck to his body. She gave it a slight tug to see if it would loosen and he hissed as it stung. Then her fingers traced down his side and the soothing warm calmed the angry nerves.

He wished he knew how you taught force healing, wished he could help her understand how to control it and concentrate it. Her touch with it now was unfocused, it healed and soothed but also seemed to skitter its way throughout his entire body in a strangely sensual and arousing way.

“Hold on,” she muttered, heading across the AT-AT to grab clean rags and the jug of alcohol she’d used when she originally cleaned it. Wetting down a rag with the alcohol, she gently rubbed the solvent against the bandages stuck to the skin around the wound, easing them off his skin without putting stress on the healing gash.

Warmth followed her touch. He let out a soft sigh before trying to shake his head clear and keep himself under control. Glancing down at the jug on the table next to him, he picked it up and shook the liquid, which was strong enough to make his eyes water.

“Where does this come from?” 

“Old Monzz. Lives outside Niima in an old shack, makes the spyri in a still he has behind it.” She didn’t look up from her slow work if peeling the bandages away from the edges of the wound.

“Moonshine?”

“Moon-what?” she stopped to look at him, puzzled.

He smiled, shaking his head, “You can drink it?”

“Some people think so,” she shrugged.

“Have you?” 

“Once. I got fell while out in one of the wrecks and piece of metal broke off in my leg. I drank a little to help with the pain while I used my knife to cut it out.” She was back to working at the bandages, “It’s vile. Burns.”

Shaking the jug again, curiosity overtook him and he brought it up and took a swig. Barely able to swallow it before sputtering and choking. It burned like he swallowed kriffing molten lava and made him start coughing instantly. 

Grimacing, he looked down to see hazel eyes regarding him with disapproving annoyance. He couldn’t help but laugh, which triggered another coughing fit. His chest was on kriffing fire. And he was pretty sure he might have gotten an instant buzz from that one gulp of it.

“Some people must be pretty desperate if they drink this,” he set the jug back down on the table.

“It dehydrates you. We’re in the kriffing desert. People who drink it are stupid, desperate, or suicidal,” her voice had a touch of pity in it. “A lot of people drink it, a lot of people drink a lot of it, actually.”

He laughed, feeling light headed, “That druk is kriffing strong.” He wasn’t sure, but he thought she might have rolled her eyes at him.

She went back to work, grazing the edges of the wound now. He winced at the sting. Finally she got the outer bandages out, leaving just the rag that had been wedged into the wound as dressing before she bandaged it. It was stuck to the healing flesh, around it he could see the edges around the gash were no longer the angry red they had been a few days ago. The infection, at the very least, had been knocked back.

Grabbing the jug, she soaked another rag thoroughly before glancing up at him apologetically, “This is going to hurt, I can’t do anything about it.”

Actually, he thought she probably could, and would, do something about it. Not that it wouldn’t still hurt. It would hurt and she would sooth it.

Working her way down, she slowly eased the rag out of the wound. He’d been right, the pain that would cause him to suck in a breath would be followed by the soothing that followed her touch. Pain followed by something that was almost pleasure, strangely sensual. 

“It’s better,” she said, voice thoughtful. He looked down, flinching as she gently blotted it. It was healing, a much more healthy color of pink rather than the angry red and black he remembered. She shook her head, “I wish we had more bacta, it could still get infected again.”

“I’m not about to complain about my medic,” he said, looking down at her, a small smile playing across his lips. “It’s a hundred times better than it was.” 

Much to his surprise, her face flushed pink and she looked away quickly. He grinned, maybe it was just the hit he’d taken from that jug-- gods knows he was feeling the effects-- but it was hard for him not to think about how kriffing adorable she looked. Or to keep his mind from fantasizing a bit about what her flushed face might look like with her under him.

Okay, time to stop that line of thought before he got too excited. Between the way her healing effected him and the alcohol he was getting himself a little overly stimulated. 

She reached up and placed a hand on each side, “I think it’s probably best to go over it with the spyri again and rewrap--” her hands traced down and he gasped.

It was the same soothing warmth that came from her touch, but a hundred times stronger. It coursed through his entire body like a drug, lighting his nerves on fire, but in a way that was amazingly pleasurable. For a moment everything faded but the feeling traveling through his body.

Opening his eyes, he blinks to see the girl on the floor, sprawled out like she tripped over her own feet. There was a shocked and terrified look in her eyes, “I don’t… I didn’t mean…” She fumbled over words before shutting her mouth. It took him a moment before he realized she knew she did something to him, but had no idea what. And she was terrified he was going to be angry.

He looked down at the wound and felt a wave of shock. It was half the size it had been, the healing had been accelerated drastically. Rising to his feet from his seat on the table, he walked over to her, offering his hand to help her up, “You didn’t hurt me.”

She took his hand, looking wary as he pulled her to her feet. Her eyes flicked to the wound and widened in shock, “How…” she swallowed, “how did…”

Grabbing her chin firmly, he forced his girl to look at him, “You did, kitten.”

“I? But…” she tried to turn her head away from him but he held her firmly.

“You felt yourself do it, can you do it again?” he stared into her eyes intently. 

“I don’t know what I did!” her voice shook as she tried to pull away from his gaze again. 

He fought back a wave of irritation, getting irritated at her wouldn’t help with this, “I want you to try to do it again.” Squeezing her chin to keep her attention focused on him, “You need to calm yourself first, then just try to do what you felt yourself doing before.”

Slowly, she nodded. He released his grip on her chin and returned to his seat on the table. She walked over, looking up at him cautiously. When she reached her hand out to touch him, he caught it, gently. She was still too nervous, too scared. He could practically hear her heart pounding in her chest like a frightened mouse. 

“Why are you afraid?” he looked intently into her eyes, and pressed, gently, at her mind. Keeping his actions subtle as he attempted to influence a calm over her confused thoughts, not wanting her to notice his actions on her. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, you’re going to try to do exactly what you just did. Either it works or it doesn’t.” The fear and anxiety were fading from her eyes, he felt a small wave of satisfaction at having her bend to his will without being aware. “Either way, I’m happy with you, ki-- Rey.” He brought her hand up and kissed the back of it softly before letting her snatch it back.  He couldn’t help but feel pleased that she looked startled but not frightened from his action. 

She took a step forward, and placed her hands on either side of what remained of the gash. Closing her eyes, she seemed to concentrate but there was nothing. Trying again, nothing. He tried not to let himself sigh. It probably was too much to expect her to figure it out. Her frustration was rising, he could feel that too. For a moment she just stared at his side, a frown on her face, and then traced her fingers downward…

His vision blurred. It was like an electrical shock the way it traveled through his body.  It was even more potent than the last time. His nerves sung with a fire that confused the lines between pleasure and pain, building an almost carnal desire in his gut. 

It faded, leaving just a tingling ghost of the sensation across his nerves. Blinking as the room came into focus again, the girl next to him, wide eyed, hands still touching his now intact side.

There was no thoughts in his next action. A growl rose from his throat and he leapt off the table, grabbing her and slamming his lips against hers. She froze in place in his grip. Too shocked to react. Breaking the kiss he pulled back to see her staring at him, mouth partly open, bottom lip trembling.

As his ability to think came back to him it occurred to him that he was probably lucky she had been too startled to react or she’d probably have tried to bite his lips off. He could feel the anger radiating off her now. Mixing with fear and confusion. Somewhere under that he thought he might feel traces of desire and it made him lick his lips. He released his grip on her and stepped back.

“I’m sorry,” he offered a sheepish smile as he raked a hand through his hair. “I was… overwhelmed.” His hand traced across his intact side. There was no trace he’d ever been injured. He looked at her and grinned, “Thank you.”

She nodded warily and took another step back. For a moment it looked like she was going to say something, and then a noise from outside the AT-AT startled both of them. Reaching out he felt three people outside. He cursed himself for not noticing sooner.

“Anyone home?” a voice called, loudly.

His hackles raised up, it was a voice he recognized from the girl’s memory of her encounter with him in town. Dameron. Resistance. Kriff.

There were only three, he was sure he could kill them easily. But he was sure they didn’t know he was here, and if they vanished it might just lead them to send a larger force to find out what happened. Clenching his fists, he took a hissing breath.

A palm touched his chest and he looked down to meet determined hazel eyes, “I’ll handle this.”

He looked down at her. Sending her out meant trusting she wouldn’t just let them know he was in here. She was still his prisoner, and she knew he intended to drag her with him when he left. There was every reason for her to do it, considering it might be her only chance to get free.

Blowing out a breath of air, he considered reminding her that he would not be forgiving if she betrayed him. As he stared into her eyes he decided not to.

If he wanted her to trust him, he would have to trust her. Nodding, he grasped her shoulder, “If you’re in danger, I’ll feel it. I won’t let them hurt you.”

The protectiveness startled her. He smiled internally, keeping the emotion off his face as she nodded and turned, heading out the entrance.

Taking a deep breath, he felt outward at the girl and the three other force signatures outside. Trying to keep his anxiety from growing.

Trust went two ways, he reminded himself again, and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My headcanon for force healing that is likely not how force healing works is that much effort is taken to concentrate the force at the specific point that they're trying to heal. Rey has no idea how to do that, she basically just blasts him with raw force healing power, and that's why the sensation pretty much takes over all of his senses. 
> 
> Hugs to everyone who's been reading this and kisses to the ones who comment.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His eyes turned down and locked onto the hand pointing at him, “What happened to your wrist?”
> 
> She looked down, startled. There were still bruises there from where he had squeezed his fingers around it till the bones had felt like they were scraping together, “Nothing, it’s from almost a week ago.”
> 
> He took a step towards her, eyes slowly tracing up and down, “You okay, Rey?”
> 
> “Aside from you three not leaving me alone? Yes.” Her heart was starting to pound again.
> 
> “Did you know you have bruises on your throat?” his eyes seemed very guarded, very careful. No, she didn’t. Her heart began to pound harder as she fought the rising fear. Then suddenly there was pressure in her head, and a wave of calm washed over her.
> 
> He must be watching, he was trying to help her. As disconcerting as it was, it was helping. She felt herself steady, and she held herself confidently as she stared into Poe’s eyes. “No, but I was attacked by someone trying to steal my haul,” she shrugged, trying to seem indifferent. “They ended up worse off than me.”
> 
> “You sure you’re not in trouble? You don’t need help?”
> 
> “I help myself.” She stared at him, coldly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters over two days sale :P
> 
> Need to get back to Chained for a bit after this update. But this next part was clear in my head so I wanted to write it before things got fuzzy.

She grabbed her staff as she made her way outside, squinting as she emerged into the brightness. Holding her staff defensively, she glanced at the three. Poe, the one she had met in Niima, stood not far from the entry way. A woman she didn’t know and a man she didn’t know, also outsiders, stood a little ways further back by a pair of speeders.  All of them had blasters.

Poe’s eyes flashed with surprised recognition, “Hey, you’re the girl from town.”

“What do you want?” she snapped, glaring at Poe.

“Easy kid,” he raised his hands up. “Like I told you before, we’re the good guys.”

Good guys, she snorted contemptuously, “I told you I’m not a kid. And I’m not sure if we have the same definition of ‘good’. What do you want?”

Behind Poe she saw the woman start to walk closer and she gripped her staff tighter, he glanced over his shoulder at her and she halted immediately. At least he seemed to be the one in charge here. Her encounter with him in town left her with the impression that he seemed to have some kind of decency and morals.

“We are the good guys,” he said, firmly, taking a step towards her. “We’re still looking for our escaped prisoner.”

“Which has what to do with me?” 

“Easy, kid-- Rey. It was Rey, right?” he gave a charming smile when she nodded. He glanced up at the sun, “Look, it’s hot out here, how about we go inside to talk?”

She let mouth dropped open, feigning being affronted at the request, “No!” Her eyes flicked past him to the woman and man, who were glancing at each other apprehensively. She slammed the end of her staff into the sand, “This is my home. I don’t know you, I don’t trust you, and you are not welcome in it.”

“Poe?” the woman called, voice cautious. 

He didn’t look back, “It’s all good, Jess. I’m handling it.”

She scowled at him and he took a step towards her,  “Look, like I told you, this guy is dangerous.  _ Very dangerous _ .  Given how long it’s been, we’re worried he might have be holing up in someone’s dwelling or even be forcing someone to help him. He was injured, he doesn’t know this environment. So we’re out checking to be sure everyone’s okay.”

She blinked a moment, her heart starting to pound faster. Checking on people out of the goodness of their hearts was utter druk, but their suspicions were frighteningly correct. What if they already knew? What if she was being tested to see what side she was on? What would they do to her if the knew she was helping their enemy? For a split second she closed her eyes tight and squeezed her hands tighter around her staff.

“Okay there kid?” Poe’s brown eyes had narrowed slightly at her reaction. She cursed herself in her head. 

“I haven’t been feeling well, I just got dizzy.” It came out smoothly. It wasn’t exactly a lie. “Let myself get dehydrated. Couldn’t go out to scavenge for two days. It’s why I haven’t been in town again to trade.”

“Sorry about that,” he said, eyes thoughtful. “Dehydrated? Need any water?”

“I’m good here. Just didn’t bring enough with me that day,” she shrugged. “Not the first time.”

He pursed his lips, there was a slightly sharp edge in his eyes for a split second before the charm came back and he smiled, “Why don’t you let us in, we can make sure you’ve got enough water and rations.”

“You’re used to being able to charm your way into whatever you want, aren’t you?” she didn’t hide the contempt from her voice. She pointed a finger at him, “I’m not falling for it. And I don’t want your bribes. I don’t want anything to do with any of you people or whatever fight you have. It’s not my business.”

His eyes turned down and locked onto the hand pointing at him, “What happened to your wrist?”

She looked down, startled. There were still bruises there from where  _ he _ had squeezed his fingers around it till the bones had felt like they were scraping together, “Nothing, it’s from almost a week ago.”

He took a step towards her, eyes slowly tracing up and down, “You okay, Rey?”

“Aside from you three not leaving me alone? Yes.” Her heart was starting to pound again. 

“Did you know you have bruises on your throat?” his eyes seemed very guarded, very careful. No, she didn’t. Her heart began to pound harder as she fought the rising fear. Then suddenly there was pressure in her head, and a wave of calm washed over her.

_ He  _ must be watching, he was trying to help her. As disconcerting as it was, it was helping. She felt herself steady, and she held herself confidently as she stared into Poe’s eyes. “No, but I was attacked by someone trying to steal my haul,” she shrugged, trying to seem indifferent. “They ended up worse off than me.”

“You sure you’re not in trouble? You don’t need help?” 

“I help myself.” She stared at him, coldly. For a minute, he just stared back, as if he was waiting for her to give something away. 

The woman’s voice broke through, “Why don’t you just let us come in for a minute, kid? We go in, we look, we leave you alone.”

Poe glanced over his shoulder at the woman for a second before returning to stare into her eyes, “Jess is right, you don’t want us here, so just let us look. That way I won’t worry that you might be in trouble.”

“No.”

Jess gripped her blaster. Gritting her teeth she raised her staff up defensively.

“Put it down, Jess.” Poe’s eyes didn’t bother to look away from hers as he addressed the woman. Jess shot him a glare but dropped the blaster so it hung from its shoulder strap. “We don’t force our way into people’s homes uninvited. We’re the good guys.” He gave a small, strained smile, “Even if some people don’t want to see it.”

“Leave me alone,” she didn’t lower her staff. 

Poe raised up his hands, “‘Kay, why don’t we come back in a few days when you’re feeling better?”

“How about you don’t?”

He shrugged backing off towards the speeder, “You sure you’re alright, kid?”

“Yes, you can stop asking that over and over,” she glared at him. Her fear was coming back again, fighting against the calm that  _ he _ was pushing over her mind.

Poe held up his hands once more in a motion of appeasement before turning, just before his back was towards her she saw the suspicion he’d been doing his best to keep her from seeing flood into his eyes. She stood staff in hand, as they got on the speeders, the woman and man on one and Poe on the other, and drove off. She stood and watched until they were completely out of sight. Only then did she turn and walk back inside.

Once she was in the safety of the AT-AT, the pressure on her mind receded. Her heart began to pound as the panic that had been being suppressed flooded her with full force. She felt her legs give out.

Before she could hit the ground, two strong arms caught her.

 

\---

 

Once she was outside he’d made his way to just outside the doorway, staying in the shadows where he could peer out and reach out to skim the surface thoughts away from their minds. He was able to confirm they didn’t know he was here, but also that they were now getting more active in their searching-- checking on local dwellings and other possible hiding places. 

The intent was still to  try to take him alive, though the two under Dameron disliked this order. They wanted him dead. He’d killed friends of theirs during the village ambush. 

Good.  Kriffing bastards. He clenched his fists, resisting the urge to kill the three of them. It would be so easy, he wouldn’t even need to step outside, though he would… he’d want to see the life drain from them as he force choked it away.

He listened as his girl rebuffed and blocked them. Dameron was a smarmy, charming shabuir and he was trying to play her to get inside. Good little kitten was having none of that. She’d puffed herself up into a ball of fury and indignation ready to hiss and swat if they tried to come any closer than she wanted. 

At first Dameron wasn’t suspicious, just needed to check off the place and get it off his list. The two with him were aggravated at the delay. None of them were particularly happy to be on what they felt was a fairly futile search party. When she wouldn’t just let them in, Dameron tried to explain, that they thought  _ very dangerous _ might have holed up somewhere, might have been forcing a local to help. Then the ass tried to play it off that they were doing this to make sure people were safe. 

Only an idiot would buy into the goodness of their hearts spiel, but the rest of their suspicions were very accurate, and he felt his girl start to tense, fright building. She was afraid they knew already, that she was being tested somehow. The panic only took her for a fraction of a second, but it was enough that Dameron saw her reaction and his interest piqued.

She played it off surprisingly well with a half truth, or a partial lie, depending on how you wanted to view it.  Good kitten. He waited, tense, watching, ready to act if needed. Watching as the bastard pushed his concern and subtly tried to bribe her. She puffed herself out, once again, not having it. Not buying his load of druk for a second. 

Then he felt as Dameron noticed her bruised wrist, his suspicions climbing. She played it off when he asked, but the man’s instinct was pushing him towards the truth, he studied the girl for a moment, and saw more that confirmed his instincts. When Dameron asked if she was okay, he was trying to get some inkling that she might need help. She stood her ground, but he asked about the bruises on her neck.

He cursed himself for choking her when she was late coming back from town. It had been an overreaction, and the faint marks he’d left were coming back to haunt him. The girl started to lose it again, panic taking her. He pushed out at her, it was difficult at this distance, a strain, but he was able to enter her mind and swing a cloak of calm over it. The tension drained and he let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

Just do what you were doing, kitten, he willed, watching. He smiled as she played off the bruises with another lie, one that flowed smoothly from her under the calmness he gave her. The man pressed again if she needed help. “I help myself,” she snapped. 

Good girl. Good little kitten. Give them a swat when they try to push too close.

The woman came forward, trying to press her to let them in. She was also suspicious now. Dameron concurred, because he was just oh so concerned that the girl might be in trouble. He rolled his eyes in contempt. The girl didn’t back down. Under the calm he’d put on her, her fear was rising, but outwardly she was calm, confident. The woman gripped her blaster, aggravated, and he and the girl both tensed.

Dameron ordered her to put it down, then backed off, backed them all off. Finally they left.

It wasn’t over, he was sure of that, even as they left. He’d be surprised if at least one didn’t stay to watch from a distance. They would need to assume that someone was watching from now on.

His kitten came back in and he gently pulled out of her mind. The fear he’d been holding back flooded her with full force and she nearly fell. He caught her, holding her up and murmuring to her to breath. Scooping her into his arms he carried her the rest of the way inside, sitting her on the table where he sat when she healed him. Holding her gently by the shoulders to keep her steady, peering intently into her eyes. He could force her calm, but it felt wrong to do it when it was no longer necessary. 

“Just breath, Rey,”  he kept his voice soft. “Nothing is going to happen to you.” He leaned closer, so his eyes were only inches from hers, “I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

He pulled back as she steadied herself. It took effort, his own emotions wanted to keep her close. But if the goal was to calm her, he needed to give her space. He turned and leaned against the table next to her, listening to her breath as it settled.

“He knows,” her voice was quiet.

He shook his head, “He suspects, doesn’t know. But we will need to be careful. I don’t doubt they’ll be watching you now, till they can confirm or deny what they suspect.”

She trembled slightly, hand tightening against the edge of the table. He slipped his hand over hers, rubbing across the back with his thumb. For a split second she tensed at the touch, before her body relaxed again, allowing-- no not just allowing, appreciating-- the contact. 

His kitten was taming to him, somehow he kept the satisfied grin from crossing his face. Instead he kept it to a small smile,  “You did good, kitten. Very good. I’m happy with you.”

The huff of indignation that escaped her made him laugh, earning him a glare that her heart wasn’t entirely in. He gave her hand a squeeze, “You’re not alone. Neither of us are alone. And together we’re going to be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Rey's warming up to _very dangerous_ , finally. It's going to take her a little more time (and probably a little more trauma) to really accept her growing feelings towards him.
> 
> Kylo's a bit ahead of her, though damn is he still an ass sometimes, even when he's being nice.
> 
> This is a story where both sides are meant to be pretty grey. First Order, Resistance, they're two sides at war. And both sides have good and bad people. Poe is someone manipulative and shrewd, but he's also a good person. Not everyone is though. If it been up to Jess and our unnamed-background-Resistance-member™️ they would have forced their way in because some slip of a girl with a stick was not going to stop them from completing their objective to search and move on.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She did. The noise, the vibrations-- neither of those words were correct but they were the close as she could come-- began to swell around her. Then his mind closed around hers and muted it before it could consume her.
> 
> _Focus on what you’re looking for now. Focus on the person who was watching you, the rest don’t matter, tune them out, pick out the one that matters._
> 
> How exactly was one supposed to do that? It was chaos and noise, how do you filter that down to one?
> 
> _The same way you pick a single person’s face out of a crowd. Or listen to one person when there are people speaking all around you. Or distinguish a specific scent that’s muddled with others._
> 
> She frowned, how did one do those things even? It wasn’t something you had to try to do usually, you could just do it.
> 
> _Exactly._
> 
> So just do it. Just do this. Reaching outward, she searched for what she was looking for, finding a person somewhere nearby in the sands. Someone watching them… someone…
> 
> Ahead and slightly to the north. Yes, that was him. Nestled into the shadows between two dunes, too far to see with the naked eyes, but he had a viewer, trained on the AT-AT, zoomed in to watch.

She felt almost normal the next morning, just a little bit of a headache. 

He was awake, sitting cross legged with his eyes closed, hands resting on his knees. She’d seen him like this a few times before, not sure what he was doing. Sometimes he’d sit like that for hours.

Slipping outside into the still cool morning air, she looked around carefully, trying to spot anyone who could be watching. There was no sign there was anyone, no sign there was any person around anywhere within sight. But… there was someone, she was sure of it. She could feel eyes on her as she slipped behind the AT-AT to relieve herself. 

“Is there any other way in and out of here?” his voice startled her as she came back inside. He was in the same position, just his eyes now open and following her as she walked.

She nodded, feeling a wave of annoyance. Of course she had another way out, she wasn’t an idiot.

“Hidden?”

“Tunnel, goes out behind the dune. Not easy to see when closed, if anyone was watching that way it’s obvious when it opens.”

He smiled, nodding, before closing his eyes again, “They’re only watching the front, I doubt they suspect you have another entrance.”

“You know where they are?” 

His eyes opened slightly, looking at her, seeming to study her through his eyelashes, “Did you feel them?”

She crossed her arms, averting her gaze from him. Whenever he looked at her this way-- like he was studying or analyzing her, it made her nervous. “I couldn’t see anyone but I knew I was being watched.” 

A small smile crossed his face and his eyes opened completely, regarding her with a soft, thoughtful look that she did not find reassuring. Uncrossing his legs and leaning back to stretch, he made a beckoning motion, “Come here.”

“Why?” she watched him carefully, taking a deep breath.

He sat back up, spreading his legs out, “Just come sit in front of me, like I just was, legs crossed.” When her response was a nervous scowl he chuckled, “I’m going to help you find them.”

“Is this going to be like in the shipyard that night?” a shiver ran down her spine remembering the way the feeling of so much life surrounding her had overloaded her. “I didn’t like that.”

An amused snort and his dark eyes settling on her, waiting. She took a deep breath and came over, sitting down between his feet and crossing her legs under her. He scooted closer to her, his long legs on either side of her. He gently pulled her hands that she had folded together in her lap apart and placing them on her knees, before using one of his hands on her stomach and the other to her back, forcing her straighter. His hand trailed down her spine as he let go and she felt her body quiver under his touch.

He leaned forward so his face was next to hers, she could feel the week worth of stubbly growth on cheek brush against her smooth one,  “Meditation is key to any force-sensitive training regimens. The Jedi and the Sith both had very specific methodologies, but even the more minor orders and sects out have all used meditation as a way to help one get closer to the force and better manipulate it.”

She turned her head slightly so she could look at him and he shook his head, “Keep your head straight and forward, and close your eyes.” She frowned a moment and then did as he said. “In the most basic forms of meditation, you are working to calm and quiet your mind, to tune out all distractions from your senses. For a force-sensitive, the force really is another sense, when you take away stimulus from the others, it makes you more aware of it. A calm and quiet mind will be better able to manipulate it than one that’s cluttered.”

Her eyes closed, she frowned, tipping her chin downward as she processed his words. Skin of his hand brushed her chin, startling her. His other hand pressed against her back as she tried to pull away, guiding her to hold herself tall again as his other hand guided her head straight again. “Like that night in the shipyard, you’re going to concentrate on your breathing. Deep breaths, in and out.”

A thread of fear grew in her, he did want her to do… whatever it was that she did that night. She tried to turn her body to look at him, but as soon as she started to shift his arms enveloped her, holding her in place. A small squeak of surprise escaped her.

She could feel his chest vibrating against her back in a silent laugh and she clenched her hands against her knees angry at his amusement at her behalf.

“Just relax and stay still,” his hands guided her back straight again. 

“I don’t want to do it again,” she muttered, trembling slightly at his touch.

An exasperated sigh tickled her ear as he nuzzled his chin into the spot her neck met her shoulder, talking softly, “This is a part of you. You need to learn to use it and control it.”

She thought the flood of sensation, how it was like walking into a room filled with a thousand voices talking at the same time. Except instead of sound it had been a pulse that she could feel somehow in her body, a pulse of every living thing. “It was too much…”

He nuzzled his face in closer before pulling back slightly. She winced as a slight pressure built in her head, a feeling that was starting to become familiar. He was in her mind again.

_ I’ll be with you to guide you and help you filter through the noise. Trust me, Rey.  _  His voice, in her head. She clenched her hands on her knees again before closing her eyes.  _ Good, now breathe with me, follow my rhythm. Listen to the sound of your breath, concentrate on it. Let it be the only thing you think of.” _

She tried, though her mind didn’t want to be still, her anxiety causing it to flit from one worry to another. 

_ Still your thoughts. Hush. _

Again, she tried, breathing in and out as he did. Her legs were feeling a bit tingly from sitting in this position, she wondered how he did it sometimes for hours--

_ Rey, hush. _

Breathing, just breathing, In, out, in out. His chest touched her back as it expanded with each breath. He was close enough that she could feel his body heat. His breath tickled her cheek and neck each time he breathed out. She could smell him, sweat and musk and something like smoke and leather. A much more masculine scent than her own. There was something appealing--

_ REY,  _ the voice in her head was commanding, but also amused.  _ FOCUS. _

Her face flushed. Yes, focus, on breathing. She tried again, letting her thoughts go, letting her worries go. Tension slowly bled from her, everything slowly fading except the rise and fall of her chest and the sound of her pulling in the air and then releasing it.

_ Good girl, now open yourself up and reach out, feel outward. _

She did. The noise, the vibrations-- neither of those words were correct but they were the close as she could come-- began to swell around her. Then his mind closed around hers and muted it before it could consume her.

_ Focus on what you’re looking for now. Focus on the person who was watching you, the rest don’t matter, tune them out, pick out the one that matters. _

How exactly was one supposed to do that? It was chaos and noise, how do you filter that down to one?

_ The same way you pick a single person’s face out of a crowd. Or listen to one person when there are people speaking all around you. Or distinguish a specific scent that’s muddled with others. _

She frowned, how did one do those things even? It wasn’t something you had to try to do usually, you could just do it.

_ Exactly. _

So just do it. Just do this. Reaching outward, she searched for what she was looking for, finding a person somewhere nearby in the sands. Someone watching them… someone… 

Ahead and slightly to the north. Yes, that was him. Nestled into the shadows between two dunes, too far to see with the naked eyes, but he had a viewer, trained on the AT-AT, zoomed in to watch.

Kylo slowly pulled his mind back, and she felt the man-- and it was the third man from yesterday, the one who hadn’t spoken-- even stronger now. She could almost sense the things around him, pick those things through him. The vibrations he put off in… the force… traveled around the objects near him. She couldn’t pick out the smaller things, but there was a speeder behind him, she could feel how the vibrations the man put off parted around it, marking its shape.

_ Very good,  _ she could feel he was pleased.

He had pulled back, he wasn’t helping her anymore, instead hanging back and monitoring. The noise around her was still there, but faded, fainter, as she focused on the things she wanted to hear… feel… whatever the proper word was.

_ This is good enough, now pull back in. Close it off.  
_

She did, the sensations muted and then faded. Opening her eyes slowly, turning so she could look at him. As she did she felt him retreating from her mind, the pressure lifting. His dark eyes met hers, intense as ever but also thoroughly pleased, “You’re a fast learner, sometimes it takes people years to figure out how to use a force signature to make out the things around it.”

“What do we do? About him?” she bit her bottom lip, her nerves starting to jump again. 

He got to his feet, shrugging, “We need to finish what we started on the F-- on the freighter. We’ll go tonight, on foot, get the encryption chip installed and find the links.” His eyes glanced up, looking in the direction she knew the man watching them was. “Once I’m in communication with my people, I’ll be able to formulate a plan.”  His voice took a cold tone, but in it she also sensed an eager anticipation, a satisfaction at the next thought, “And when we’re ready to put that plan in action, I’ll take care of anyone watching us.”

It made her uneasy. It was one thing to have to kill someone. She’d done it, more than once, each time it had left a scar of a memory that would haunt her, despite the fact that she had only done what she needed to do to protect herself. But it was another thing to enjoy doing it, to do it even if it wasn’t necessary. And in him she felt he would gladly do both those things, to slaughter them all if he could.

Two hands gripped her upper arms sharply and pulled her to her feet. One hand slid under her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes, now dark and intense as ever but also cold and brooding. “We don’t feel pity for our enemies, kitten. Nor do we show them mercy. And yes, I will kill every kriffing one of them if I can and enjoy watching them fall.”

She tried to look away, but his hand squeezed almost painfully on her chin, forcing her attention back to him, “Compassion will weaken you. Compassion for your enemies will get you killed.”

“They’re not my enemy,” she muttered, “I’m on neither side.”

His teeth flashed in anger and his face moved closer, only a fraction of a space between his nose and hers, “My enemies are your enemies now. What do you think they’re going to do if they catch you knowing you were helping me? What do you think that blond kriff in town, the one in charge, is going to do to you? They’ll blow your head off in front of everyone to make an example to the others about betrayal.”

Her eyes closed, trying and failing to keep herself from trembling. His hand reached up and brushed gently against the nape of her neck, his voice softened, “And you know not one of the locals, the scum who you’ve lived among for nearly your entire life, will do anything to help you. None of them care about anything other than themselves.” His lips brushed gently against her forehead, “But I do, and I would come for you. I’d rain death on those that would hurt you.”

He stepped back, his eyes still locked on hers, “My enemies are your enemies.” There was a finality in his voice, “And we will show them no mercy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully will have some more writing time over the holiday weekend.
> 
> Kisses to the commenters :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were no outward signs of the smuggling compartments, but he didn’t need any to find them. He could have been 12 years old again, running down the corridor, listening to his footsteps echoing against the metal walls. Running to the same spot he was now crouching down in and sliding his fingers into the same hidden panel. With a quick pull, he slid the panel off to reveal the space hidden in the floor.
> 
> He shined a light down into the hole. There was a stacked crates and a wooden chest. Jumping down, he let his hand trail across the wall to a spot hidden behind a support beam. His fingers brushed against scratched metal. A small smile played across his lips, he didn’t need to look to know what letters were scratched into the wall here. BEN. One of many places hidden from sight that he’d branded himself onto this ship. His father would have killed him if he ever had caught him or found any of them.
> 
> Maybe that was why he had done it, that and the thrill of getting away with it. He’d always enjoyed doing something wrong right under someone’s nose and being able to keep himself from getting caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My commonly used "I ain't proofread this like I should have before posting" warning applies.

The ship appeared to be pretty untouched since they were last on it.

She was already on her knees prying off the access panel to the communications console. He crouched down next to her, dropping the bag of her tools gently on the floor next to her. Sneaking out unseen had been ridiculously easy. Either the Resistance really was stupid enough to believe that someone would have a dwelling with only one way in or out, or they were stupid enough to think that they weren’t going to realize they were being watched.

Either way, they were idiots.

“Do you need any help?” he asked, pulling the encryption chip he’d extracted from the distress pulser earlier in the day from a pocket and handing it over. She pulled her light out to look at it carefully, shaking her head once at him as an answer to his question.

He nodded, “Okay, I’m going to search the ship for a comlink.” Rising to his feet, he gave the girl a glance before heading down familiar corridors. Towards what he thought would be his best bet to check first. 

There were no outward signs of the smuggling compartments, but he didn’t need any to find them. He could have been 12 years old again, running down the corridor, listening to his footsteps echoing against the metal walls. Running to the same spot he was now crouching down in and sliding his fingers into the same hidden panel. With a quick pull, he slid the panel off to reveal the space hidden in the floor.

He shined a light down into the hole. There was a stacked crates and a wooden chest. Jumping down, he let his hand trail across the wall to a spot hidden behind a support beam. His fingers brushed against scratched metal. A small smile played across his lips, he didn’t need to look to know what letters were scratched into the wall here. BEN. One of many places hidden from sight that he’d branded himself onto this ship. His father would have killed him if he ever had caught him or found any of them.

Maybe that was why he had done it, that and the thrill of getting away with it. He’d always enjoyed doing something wrong right under someone’s nose and being able to keep himself from getting caught.

Searching carefully, no sign of the links in this compartment. Hopefully they’d turn up in one of the next three. Walking over to the wooden chest, he opened it to find familiar round metal balls. Eight of them, about the size of a closed fist.

A grin spread across his face, he knew exactly what they were without any need to look at them closer. Explosives. Chewbacca’s toys, he was sure. This opened up some possibilities. Closing the chest he picked it up and set it on the main floor next to the compartment. Pulling the first compartment closed, he went to the next one to find it empty. As was the third. The fourth… he shined his light in to illuminate a small shelf running along the rim. Metal reflected in the light beam.

He jumped in reaching up onto the shelf to grab the two comlinks. Looking at them closely to make sure they had passive receivers, meant to pair up with the relay in the communications console.

They did. He turned them on. Both were functional.

Pausing a moment, he turned the two over thoughtfully before dropping one and crushing it violently under his heel, grinding it till it was nothing more than shattered bits. Too much risk once he’d programmed the decryption codes to sync with the link ups to have a second one that could fall into the wrong hands. He didn’t need more than one anyway.

He pocketed the link and pulled himself up out of the compartment. If the girl did her part, this should work, hopefully he’d be in touch with the Finalizer by later tonight and work out a plan. A dark grin crossed his face as he pulled the panel back to cover the hidden compartment. If he had his way, this town would burn. Kriff, if he had his way this entire planet could burn. Leave it a smoldering heap of rock. As far as he could tell there was only one thing that had value on this sandball, and he planned on taking her with him.

Take her and teach her. A shiver ran down his spine, if Snoke would permit him to do so. It was a thought he was avoiding as he’d found himself wanting this girl for himself more and more. The idea of her being taken away from him, he ground his teeth. It would make no sense to do so, surely his master would see that? She was untrusting and feral but he’d made progress taming her-- there was a trust now between the two of them. Surely, surely he would be permitted to continue to build on that?

If Snoke took her… his fists clenched a moment. Snoke would be efficient, he was sure. Snoke would shatter her. Shatter her will, shatter her mind, then take the pieces and rebuild them into something to serve him. Brutal, efficient, and what she was now would be utterly obliterated.

He didn’t want that for her. It wasn’t necessary. If he was given the time, she would give herself to him fully, give herself of her own free will. And in giving herself to him, give herself to the Order, and to his Master. Snoke would have to see that. He would have to make Snoke see that.

Shaking his head, he gathered the wooden chest of explosives under his arm. It was not the time for thoughts like these. Maybe never was time for thoughts like these. In the end, it wasn’t going to be his choice. He would plead his case, plead her case, before the Leader. It was the only thing he could do.

He sighed and made his way back to where his girl was working on the console.

 

 

* * *

 

 

She pulled herself out of the access panel, putting the soldering iron down neatly on her tool bag, she climbed to her knees and tapped a few buttons to power on the console. Bending over, she pulled the diagnostic pod she’d salvaged years ago out and plugged the cable in to check the system.

“How’s this going?”

His voice made her jump. Looking up from the diagnostic reports, he was right next to her. How the hell did he move that quietly? He looked down at her with a small smile.

“So far the diagnostics look good. The decryption key needs to be programmed, but the com and the relay look good,” she glanced down at the diagnostic pod, tapping few codes in before unplugging it from the console.

“I’ll program the key to the link up,” he said, leaning forward. She felt herself flush. From where she was kneeling his leaning over the console brought his crotch rather close to her face. The way his body was hovering over her… normally she’d feel the fear starting to rise now, racing through her as she fought to keep it under control. But it didn’t. Her nerves were firing and her heart was pounding, but it wasn’t fear, it was more like a heat racing through her. Suddenly she could smell him, smell the sweat and that odor that was something like leather and smoke, and the heat seemed to pool between her thighs.

He looked down at her suddenly, his head cocked slightly, the light of his flashlight bounced off the metal of the console and reflected in his eyes. The corner of his mouth twisted into a small smile, his voice soft, “Feeling alright, Rey?”

She grabbed the edge of the console and jerked herself to her feet, taking several steps back, nodding. “Fine,” she said, mortified to find her voice high enough to practically be a squeak. His eyes followed her intently. There was something _hungry_ about the way he was looking at her. It reminded her of the look he’d had in his eyes after she healed him, right before he leapt forward and kissed her.

Somehow she seemed to flush hotter, remembering the way his lips had crashed against hers. His head cocked a bit more, along with that _look_ that was in his eyes, there was something calculating and maybe a little amused. She was suddenly sure he was following along with what she was feeling, maybe understanding it a lot better than she was.

“I… I’m going to wait outside. I’m done. So, um…” her voice was still ridiculously high as she backed up.

“Okay.” His voice was quiet and smooth as his eyes followed her as she backed up. “This is only going to take a few minutes.”

She grabbed her tool bag and nearly ran off the ship, relieved when the cool night air hit her face. After a few moments, she felt like she could think again.

What exactly had that just been? She’d never reacted like that to anything, or anyone. And that look that was in his eye should have terrified her. She’d seen that hunger before in leering looks. Sometimes in men who’d just looked, sometimes in men who’d tried to take. She would ignore the first and fight the latter. Fight the latter and win now, but it hadn’t always been that way.

For a moment she closed her eyes and fought off the memories that were trying to come back to haunt her. Dwelling on the past was not something she would ever do. Learn from it, but not dwell on it. Nothing would change things that had happened.

She walked across the shipyard away from the freighter, turning back to look and wonder what exactly the man on board was doing to her. There was nothing she should want from him, he was destruction and darkness. He’d held her against her will and intended to force her to come with him. If he wanted to do anything to her, he could, there was no reason for her to trust him. And yet that look from him hadn’t terrified her at all. Instead… well… she kind of liked it.

What was he doing to her?

She sighed, pushing the wisps of hair from her face. Trying to get her head together. She took a step back and suddenly broke out in goosebumps… She turned, grabbing her staff from her shoulders, but wasn’t fast enough. The butt of the blaster smashed into the back of her head and drove her to her knees. The staff was kicked out of her hands.

Looking up she found the blaster aimed at her head. The man holding it looked down at her. She couldn’t really make much out about him in the dark, but she knew an outsider when she saw one. “Now isn’t this just curious?” his voice was cold.

They didn’t know anything, he didn’t know anything. She forced herself to believe that as she let her anger rise, “What the kriff are you doing? Do you people think it’s okay to randomly attack people for walking at night?”

The man ignored her questions.“What are you doing roaming the shipyard at night?”

“Why is that any of your business?” she snapped.

She didn’t have much time to react as the butt of the blaster swung into her head again. Kriffing bastard was fast. It knocked her down flat into the sand. She gritted her teeth, feeling blood running down the side of her head. Looking up she found the barrel of the blaster trained on her again.

“I’m the one asking questions, little rat.” His voice was a bit raspy. “Little rat far from her AT-AT nest out there in the badlands.” When she glared up at him he just chuckled, “Yes, girl, I know who you are, which is why it’s _extra_ curious to find you here. Without anyone knowing.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, her voice flat and angry.

“Is he here?” There was apprehension and anger in his voice.

“I don’t…” she started, intending to say she didn’t know what he was talking about.

“If you even try to finish that I’m going to splatter your brains across the sand.” He lifted his eyes up and as the moonlight hit them she saw something sinister in them. “Don’t think I won’t. Dameron might want to pussyfoot around it but we all know you were hiding him. Son of a bitch killed three good friends of mine. You're helping him, you might as well be him.”

She glared up at him, and he took a step forward, pressing the blaster against the side of her head. “I’m going to count to three, and you can either talk or die.”

Clenching her hands into fists, anger building. There was no way she’d be able to make a move without losing her kriffing head.

“One.”

Kriff this son of a bitch. She’d managed to throw Kylo without touching him. If she could do that again here. Even just to shove him back enough to make him move a few steps away might buy her some time. Too bad she didn’t know how the kriff she did it the first time.

“Two. It’s your funeral if you want to doubt me.”

She held her breath… it had been like she’d reached out and shoved without using her hands… if she could just…

“Thr--” her eyes flashed as he started to speak and he was flung backwards. She rolled over, grabbing her staff, lunging up and rushing at him, smashing his arm and sending the from the grip. She went to bring the staff down on his head, but he moved quickly dodging and bringing his foot up into her stomach. She staggered backwards and he turned and lunged for his blaster. But before he reached it suddenly moved, shooting across the sand. She didn’t take time to register what happened, running forward and smashing her staff into the back of his head.

“Rey?” She looked up and met Kylo’s eyes as he walked towards her, the outsider’s blaster in his hands. “Are you okay, Rey?”

The man at her feet groaned and tried to push himself up. She moved to lift her staff again but before she could he slammed back into the ground as if someone had slammed him back. Kylo glanced at the man as he walked up to her, reaching out to grasp her chin and tilt her head to to look at the blood dripping down the side of her face. In the moonlight his eyes flashed and without warning he turned and smashed his foot into the outsider’s ribs, and again, and again… the rage radiated off of him and she took several steps back, shaking.

When he stopped, the man below him groaning in pain, he turned again to look at her, “You’re okay?”

“Y-yes,” she took a deep breath, “I’ve been hurt worse.”

His eyes turned back to the outsider at his feet, “Good. You’re going to go wait for me up by where we had parked the speeder when we were here the other night.”

Licking her lips nervously, “Why? What are…”

“What did I just tell you to do?” he snapped, cutting her off.

“Go and wait for you,” she closed her eyes tightly.

“Then do as you’re told, kitten. I need to have a chat with our new friend here.”

There was a growing horror in the pit of her stomach as she realized what he meant by that. What he was going to do that he was sending her away so she wouldn’t have to witness it. For a moment she thought about protesting, about trying to stop what was going to happen. It was bad enough to kill someone, without first…

Her eyes glanced down at the man writhing on the ground that had almost killed her. It was wrong, but did she really care what happened to him? She searched herself for any bit of compassion or pity and found none, not for this monster of an outsider.

Picking up her tool bag and staff, she turned her back on the two men and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some time away from this fic to concentrate on finishing my other WIP [Chained](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10850889/chapters/24092652). Now that one is done I'm planning on concentrating a bit on this one before I start the sequel to Chained.
> 
> So hopefully I'll get a good steady stream of updates for you guys.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Closing his fist he sent him convulsing again, holding it longer, until he was nearly blacking out from the pain. Releasing him, he gave a smug smile, “I don’t actually need to do this. I’ll take everything from you that I want.” He hummed contently, as he once again clamped down again, holding it for another minute before releasing again. This time he felt the man’s fear growing, feel him battling for control. “I don’t need to do it, but that was my new pet that you attacked, and I’ve grown quite fond of her.”
> 
> “Hope we…” the man gasped, “kill… little bitch.”
> 
> “And you’re the good guys?” he snorted as he clamped down with the force again, with even more vitriol than before. This time he allowed a short, satisfying scream to leave the man’s lips before he forced him silent, only releasing him when he felt him start to black out again. As his prey writhed below him he felt the fear blossoming into terror, the man not sure how much more he could stand. He hummed to himself in satisfaction.

It was a long time since he’d felt rage like this.

Part of it was directed at himself. He had let himself get distracted and somehow not notice there was someone nearby. He shouldn’t have let her leave by herself in the first place. It was stupid and it was sloppy and neither were things he allowed of himself.

He could feel the defiance radiating up from the man on the ground, mixed with the hatred and the anger. The man struggled uselessly against the force hold pinning him to the ground  As the girl shrank into the distance he crouched down, cocking his head as he studied his prey. 

A small smile crossed his face as he pressed into the man’s mind, just enough to keep aware of his reactions, “So I hear you’re looking for me?”

“Go kriff yourse--” the man started, but never got to finish. Closing his hand he sent a steady pulse of the force through the man’s nerves. The man convulsed, screaming silently. He had the force holding his vocal cords still… as much as he’d love to hear them, he couldn’t risk attracting attention.

He sat on his heels, humming. After a few minutes he released the man, feeling a smug satisfaction as he writhed in the sand, the defiance starting to bleed into his growing fear, “Would you like to try that again?”

“You’ll get nothing from me,” the man spat.

Closing his fist he sent him convulsing again, holding it longer, until he was nearly blacking out from the pain. Releasing him, he gave a smug smile, “I don’t actually need to do this. I’ll take everything from you that I want.” He hummed contently, as he once again clamped down again, holding it for another minute before releasing again. This time he felt the man’s fear growing, feel him battling for control. “I don’t _need_ to do it, but that was my new pet that you attacked, and I’ve grown quite fond of her.”

“Hope we…” the man gasped, “kill… little bitch.”

“And you’re the good guys?” he snorted as he clamped down with the force again, with even more vitriol than before. This time he allowed a short, satisfying scream to leave the man’s lips before he forced him silent, only releasing him when he felt him start to black out again. As his prey writhed below him he felt the fear blossoming into terror, the man not sure how much more he could stand. He hummed to himself in satisfaction.

“I’d do this to you for days if I could,” his voice took a cold, sinister tone. “I can’t, of course, so I’ll have to settle for an hour or two, unless you feel like ending this sooner.” Closing his fist he sent another round of agony through the man below before once again releasing him. Even a few hours were too much risk, but he wanted the satisfaction of the man breaking for him, “I’ll give you a one time offer, show you mercy without even making you beg for me to kill you. Tell me why the Resistance went through all this to try to capture me, and I’ll take the rest of what I need and end you quickly.” The last of the defiance was bleeding away, leaving the man with nothing but terror and hatred, “Answer now, I’m not patient.”

His prey said nothing and he raised his hand up, “If this is how you want it…”

“Map…” his prey gasped, caving to his terror.

“What about the map?”

“We have… a piece. First Order had… rest,” the man closed his eyes. “General… knew you’d seen the rest.”

“General Organa?” he asked, contempt clear in his voice. It wasn’t a question he needed to ask, who else would have had the nerve?  The missing piece of the map existed though. This was interesting.

“Organa,” the man wheezed.

“Hrmm…” he hummed thoughtfully to himself before reaching out with his hand, the man flinching, “Well then…”

He plunged through the man’s mind with no mercy, ripping and tearing with no regard for any damage he might do, once again stilling the man’s vocal cords to make sure he couldn’t scream out loud. Anything that seemed like it might be of value he took, cataloging it in the back of his mind where he could sift through it later. It didn’t seem that he knew much… just a drone, a foot soldier.

When he finished, he got up and lifted the blaster, aiming it at the man's face, taking enough time to let him see the source of his death before he fired, blasting his head into pieces in a satisfying splatter of blood and bone.

Dropping the blaster he rifled through everything the man had with him, taking his bag and anything on him that might be deemed worth some value. He’d already done his best to leave no traceable marks on the man. His method of torture left no trace, he used the son of a bitch’s own blaster to kill him. Taking the valuables at least gave the appearance of a robbery. Hopefully it would create enough doubt that it would buy them the little bit of time they still needed.

He’d dump most of it on the way back to the AT-AT. Let the shifting sand of the desert claim it.

Walking back across the hard scrabble sand of the shipyard, he went back on the Falcon and grabbed the chest of explosives before heading out and looking for his girl. Good little kitten was sitting in the sand, eyes staring blankly at the ground, waiting exactly where he told her to wait. She didn’t look up when he approached and he could feel the tension and emotional turmoil roiling off of her. Dropping the chest and bag to the sand, he sat down next to her, reaching over to brush the back of his knuckles down her cheek. She still didn’t look up, but she also didn’t pull away. He sighed, leaning back onto his hands.

“Did you get what you wanted?” she asked, softly, still looking down at her feet.

“I always get what I want, kitten. One way or another.”

“It took awhile,” she looked up, her eyes, reflecting the moonlight, looked conflicted.

For a moment he just studied her before answering honestly, “I didn’t make it easy. I didn’t want it to be easy.” Reaching over, he turned her head so the side sticky with blood bathed in the weak light of the moon, studying it with a frown.

“Head wounds bleed a lot,” she said, dismissively, pulling out of his grip. “It’ll swell and bruise, I’ve had far worse.”

“We still need to get back and clean it.”

“I wanted him dead,” her voice was flat and she stared at the ground again.

He cocked his head at her, “Well he is. Very much dead.”

“He suffered?”

For a moment he just regarded her thoughtfully, “Yes.”

“I should care,” she shivered. “It’s not right.”

He shifted himself closer to her, slipping an arm around her back, “But it is. He was vermin and he wasn’t going to show you any pity. You owe him none in return.” Pulling her into an embrace, he smiled when she didn’t tense, but instead sank against him. “People like him… if unchecked, they’ll spread like a plague across the galaxy. Some of us are here to keep the order, to keep the riffraff in check. To put down the rabid dogs. To keep it all from falling apart.”

She shivered against him and he stroked the uninjured side of her head, murmuring “You’ll understand in time. You’re one of us, kitten. Another who’s meant to rule, to judge, to enforce.” He kissed her forehead before releasing her from his embrace.  “We need get back.”

“Is it safe to? Won’t they...” she frowned as he stood.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet, “I made it look like a robbery. Hopefully that’ll buy us enough time for me to contact my people and get a plan of action in place.”

“And if it doesn’t?” she stared at him, biting her bottom lip.

“Then you have me,” he looked intently into her eyes. “And I will bring death onto anyone who tries to hurt you…” A dark chuckle bubbled out of him, “And I, in the end, have you… and you, kitten, are quite a good ally to have.”

He picked the chest and bag, as she shouldered her tool bag, and lead the way back.

 

 

* * *

 

 

He leaned against the wall in the rear exit tunnel to the AT-AT, turning the comlink in his hand. Since he couldn’t risk going outside, the tunnel gave him the most privacy.

“Finalizer, do you copy?”

For a long moment he held his breath, waiting, clenching and unclenching his empty hand.

“REN?” A familiar voice came through the link.

He let out a laugh of relief, “General, let me just say something that you will likely never hear me say again-- It is really good to hear your voice.”

“We were beginning to think you were dead or captured, the surviving troops had reported you were injured,” Hux sounded both relieved and strained at the same time. “Losses at the ambush were heavy. We don’t know what we’re dealing with, it’s been limiting what we could do.”

“I was injured. I’m fine now... “ he paused, “I’ve found… something interesting. Or rather someone interesting. I’m going to send a report later, make sure Snoke gets it. This will be of interest to him.”

“Someone interesting…” Hux’s voice sounded skeptical.

He snorted in annoyance, “Latent force sensitive. A bit of an unwilling ally, but she’s becoming more willing.” He waited to see if Hux felt like interjecting anything else before continuing, “Regarding the ambush, I appear to have been the target… apparently the map does exist. But they’re lacking the rest of the map. I was targeted as I’ve seen the rest of the map.”

Hux laughed, “And they thought you’d just give it to them if they captured you? That’s a plan idiotic enough for the Resistance to embrace."

“Organa seemed to think she’d get it from me. As foolish as she ever was.”

The line fell quiet, he sighed and spoke again, “Resistance appears to have made some kind of pact with the locals here. There are at least thirty hostiles in town, whatever locals are loyal to them, and they have two squadrons of fighters hidden down here.”

For a moment there was silence. “Two squadrons,” Hux hummed on the end of the line. “We could handle that, but not without losses… the element of surprise would be much prefered. How well hidden are these fighters?”

“Unfortunately, quite well. But you have me, my new friend, and about eight hand bombs as your resources down here.” He chuckled, “Not enough to take out the fighters, but plenty to do some damage and give our TIE’s a target.”

“As irritating as you are, Ren, sometimes I do like the way you think,” Hux chuckled. “And Niima? It sounds to me like we should consider it compromised.”

“We should consider this entire kriffing hellhole of a sandball compromised.”

“Let me iron out the details and then get back to you in a few hours so we can tweak it as you see fit.”

He smiled, “Yes. I’m looking forward to it. Signing off…” He severed the communication channel and leaned back with a sigh. There was a reckoning coming for those who had dared to hunt him. A reckoning of fire and death and pain.

And it would be righteous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had some back and forth in my head on this chapter and got to constantly picking and tweaking. Finally decided I needed to just go with it or trash it.
> 
> Hugs and kisses to everyone who comments and reads this. This one's been a fun story to write.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had nearly gotten him killed by siccing her rabid dog followers on him. Because getting the map to his uncle, to that broken old fool that she somehow still thought would be her salvation, was worth the potential risk that she’d get her own son killed.
> 
> Not that he’d ever been much more than an embarrassment to her. An embarrassment first with his outbursts, and then later with his growing powers as they awakened and his lack of control. Which was why she’d sent him away, hidden him away with his uncle for training, far from where he could continue to cause her trouble.
> 
> And then his uncle and the ten years he spent muzzled and crushed under the heel of that fanatic. That fanatic that muttered to ghosts of the past and followed the supposed will of the force, a will that somehow always did line up conveniently with what his uncle wanted. Ten years he was forced to hollow himself out into nothing but a shell, an empty void where who he was should have been. All because of that man’s misguided devotion to the teachings of a sect that should have been left dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit short of a chapter but really needed to leave this off where I did to make things flow properly with the next one.

He sat cross legged on the floor, attempting to meditate. Listening to his girl breathing peacefully in her sleep. He had spent a few hours typing up his report on the girl’s computer and transmitted it to the Finalizer. Focus had been on the details of what had happened and what he’d found out about the ambush and the Resistance’s motives, and heavy on details about Rey and what he’d witnessed from her so far. Strong force sensitives were rare, she was valuable.

Hux had contacted him again a few hours after they first talked, things were in place for them to take action the next night. It was a risky plan, but if they succeeded they would catch the enemy off guard, disable their main weapons on the planet-- their fighters, and leave them at the mercy of the First Order air power.

It wasn’t restlessness about what was coming next that was keeping him distracted and unable to clear his mind, though. No, it was the ghosts of the past that were haunting him now. He didn’t entirely understand why… it’s not like he hadn’t already known who had likely been behind this plan. Damn her. Damn her and her political agendas and her precious Resistance. The things that had always mattered more to her than her family.

She had nearly gotten him killed by siccing her rabid dog followers on him. Because getting the map to his uncle, to that broken old fool that she somehow still thought would be her salvation, was worth the potential risk that she’d get her own son killed. 

Not that he’d ever been much more than an embarrassment to her. An embarrassment first with his outbursts, and then later with his growing powers as they awakened and his lack of control. Which was why she’d sent him away, hidden him away with his uncle for training, far from where he could continue to cause her trouble.

And then his uncle and the ten years he spent muzzled and crushed under the heel of that fanatic. That fanatic that muttered to ghosts of the past and followed the supposed will of the force, a will that somehow always did line up conveniently with what his uncle wanted.  Ten years he was forced to hollow himself out into nothing but a shell, an empty void where who he was should have been. All because of that man’s misguided devotion to the teachings of a sect that should have been left dead. The time of the Jedi had past. The time of the Sith had past. Thousands of years of dogma scattered to the galaxy and lost to the solar winds. Leaving the next generation of force-sensitives free for the first time in millennia to truly break their own path.

His grandfather had witnessed the corruption and hypocrisy of the Jedi order and had turned on them. Had nearly scoured their existence from the records of time and space, as he embraced the darkness and made it a part of himself. Though he embraced the ways of the Sith, his final betrayal of the Emperor proved he died free of the dogma, serving only himself and the force. Snoke viewed Vader’s fall as sentiment, as a fault. He disagreed, though he would never argue the point with his Master. Vader’s “fall” was his final release from his chains to flawed teachings.

Despite the points of disagreement, Snoke at least understood that the time of the Sith had come and gone. That the force, the darkness and the light, went on even after the dogma faded. His uncle, in his misguided dogmatic devotion to the Jedi, was the one that unintentionally led him to the darkness. But his current Master was the one that taught him to embrace it, to make it part of himself, to harness the anger and the turmoil. He no longer would deny the things that made him who he was, nor would he deny himself any longer the things that he wanted.

He opened his eyes and took in the sleeping form of the girl… of  _ his _ girl… across the AT-AT in her hammock. A mix of affection and fear rising in his chest. The plan Hux and he agreed on would require them to split up tomorrow night. She would create the distraction in town and he would then set the bombs among the hidden fighters. He trusted at this point she would do it for him, even if she didn’t like the destruction and the potential death at her hand. She knew that town and how to stay unseen. But she was vulnerable still on her own, and the thought of not being there to protect her terrified him.

Such a strange thing, the intensity of these feelings towards her. 

Giving up on meditating, he stretched out and lay flat on the floor, his hands laced behind his head. In less than twenty four hours there would be fire and smoke and blood, and the thought of that gave him great satisfaction. Even more than the thought of finally getting off this despicable sandball did.

He sighed, the tension was flowing through him like electricity.  There would be no peace for his restless mind tonight.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“There are more of them…”

“Yes,” he agreed as he looked up from where he sat on the floor, the explosives in front of him. She watched him nervously as he rigged the detonators on the two on timed fuses. He seemed to know what he was doing, but that wasn’t settling her fear that they might just go off without warning. “Tell me how many?”

She bit her lip, “I don’t know, I haven’t tried to find them. I just--”

“No.” His eyes burned into her, “You do know. Now don’t think about it, just tell me, how many?”

For a second she almost protested again, her mouth opening and then shutting before she blurted out an answer, “Three.”

He smiled, looking thoroughly pleased, “Good. You need to learn to trust your instincts. You doubted and denied yourself the answer that you already knew.”  Pausing, he regarded her a moment before holding up one of the bombs, “They’re on ten minute timers once you activate the detonator. I’m going to leave it to you to chose the targets in Niima.”

She felt frozen in place, was she really going to do this? For him? Destroy and possibly kill, just so he could make her leave with him whether she wanted to or not? His eyes bore into her and she flushed, looking down before muttering, “Should I use them both on the same target?”

His eyes regarded her thoughtfully a moment and then he put the two bombs into her bag and placing it on the floor next to him. “I know exactly what I’d like you to do, but I know you won’t do it, so just go with two targets.”

Frowning, her curiosity got the better of her, “What is it? What do you think I won’t do?” 

He was quiet, moving the rest of the bombs into his own bag. He had rigged them to a remote detonator so he could trigger them. When he was done he looked up, “My ideal plan would be to adjust the second one to be on a fifteen minute timer and have you place it close to the first target, where the crowds are going to gather after the first one goes off.”

Her mouth dropped open, horrified, “No.”

“Yes, that’s why I didn’t ask,” he replied, voice calm, as if he hadn’t just talked about one of the most callous acts of murder she could imagine.

“You would do that, not even knowing who might be in that crowd?” Her mind couldn’t even grasp the disregard for life.

“This is how war works, kitten.” He looked at her again, “There’s a high probability that a lot of Resistance and their supporters would be in that crowd. Anyone else caught in the crossfire…” He got to his feet, stretching a moment before continuing with indifference in his voice, “It’s unfortunate but it’s going to happen. There’s nothing kind or fair in war.” 

She closed her eyes and clenched her fists. War didn’t make such a tactic okay. His hands suddenly enveloped her fists, holding them gently, her eyes shot open, startled once again at how fast and silently he could move if he wanted. He leaned in close, “Eventually you’re going to come to understand, but I know you don’t, so again, I’m not asking. The only thing I’m asking for is a distraction so I can set the explosives among their fighters.”

Nodding numbly, she found herself staring at his lips a minute before she flushed and looked away. When she looked back one side of his mouth had quirked into a small smile which only made her blush harder. He leaned forward slowly and pressed his lips against hers in a soft, gentle kiss. She did her best to kiss back, awkwardly. The heat racing through her seeming to drown out all the reasons to not do this and the fear that always seemed to be there. He broke the kiss, grinning a moment as he turned away and picked both bags off the floor and set them on table.

He didn’t look at her when he spoke next, “You understand you’re not coming back here after we leave?”

For a moment she felt like she couldn’t breath and she closed her eyes tight before she gasped and finally sucked air in again. “Yes. I know.”

His head nodded and he turned to look at her again, “Good.  In two hours I’m going to take care of our three friends watching us, and then we’ll get started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hugs and kisses for your kudos and comments. :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looked away a moment, running his fingers through his hair before looking back, regarding her thoughtfully. She seemed different. The way she was looking at him seemed different. It took him a moment to recognize it for what it was.
> 
> She wasn’t afraid of him. For the moment she wasn’t even intimidated by him. Right now she wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone. No fear, no anger-- unless you count the bit of irritation she had directed at him, anyway-- just cold resolve and determination.
> 
> Almost Jedi-like, the start of a battle trance. It was a state he never could achieve, no matter how much his uncle had pressed him, and the attempts to try always weakened him. His uncle never could understand that what worked to create strength for one person would cause weakness in another. No, he had been too dedicated to the way , the one way, the only way. Kriff him, the old fool.
> 
> It suited the girl, though he suspected she’d be equally suited to driving herself by passion, once taught to feed the fury he knew she was capable of until it drove away all fear. Perhaps in time she’d pick and chose how to tune her focus depending on the situation. Something few were capable of… he certainly wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I consider this a productive weekend. Spent time at the barn with my horse, spent time working in the vegetable garden and getting the rest of the beds prepped, and still managed to get a chapter typed out.
> 
> Now back to that damn thing called the "work week"

Behind the mask he felt more like himself than he had in the last week.

He kept track of the force signatures of the Resistance soldiers watching them. They weren’t familiar, which was a pity, he was hoping that perhaps that Dameron kriff would be among them. He seemed to be higher up the command chain and might know a bit more than the drones.  Two of the Resistance men were hidden in the distance between some dunes watching the front, while intermittently another would circle the AT-AT. He guessed they at least suspected now there was more than one entrance. Not that any of it made much difference, it was easy enough to slip outside and flank the man patrolling. Needing to make sure there was no time to call attention to the two others, the man on the patrol was lucky and was killed quickly with the force. His friends weren’t going to be treated quite as nicely. He intended to probe both of them, even though he doubted they’d know much more than he’d found out, and make sure they saw their deaths coming. 

Slipping into the night he went wide to circle past and come up behind the other two, creeping his way up the dune above them.

“...sick of this banthadruk…” one of them was speaking. He paused, listening, as the voice continued, “I can’t figure out if Dameron, I swear. On the plus side I don’t think Allen is going to let this druk go on much longer, especially after finding Metzer in the shipyard.”

“They’re walking on eggshells about Metzer,” Resistance soldier number two piped in. “I don’t like any of this. This entire mission went to druk and should have been scrapped after he escaped the ambush. At the least we should be breaking com silence and get a message back to base.”

“If I get a shot at blowing that kriff’s head off I’m doing it,” Resistance soldier number one answered. “Kriff the sedatives and trying to take him alive.”

He barely managed to contain a laugh as he moved forward silently, leaping down off the dune to land no more than seven feet behind them, igniting his saber midair. “Feel free to try.”

In the time it took them to react and start shooting, he could have already killed them both. Deflecting their blaster bolts with his saber, he gave them a minute before freezing them both in place, walking up between them, a distorted chuckle coming through his modulator. “How does it feel knowing you’re about to die as abject failures at your duty?” 

Reaching his hand out, he probed the second speaker first, pummeling through his mind roughly. Enjoying the echos of his screams through the desert night as he pulled anything that appeared useful from his head. Finishing, he twirled his saber up and severed the man’s head in one quick motion.

Turning back to the first man, he cocked his head slightly, “Your turn.”   


The eyes looked back at him with hate and defiance, “Go ahead. Just know you’re either going to die on this planet or leave it our prisoner.”

He laughed, a rough bark through his modulator, “You’re quite the optimist.” Not waiting for another reply, he reached out again, pushing into his mind even more roughly than the last man’s. The determination the man had held not to scream faltered after less than a minute, screams ringing delightfully in his ears. Once he finished, he raised his saber and wrenched it down through the man’s stomach, gutting him, watching him writhe in the sand before bringing the saber through his neck.

Disengaging his blade and holstering it on his belt, he headed back on a straight path to at the AT-AT. As he approached he saw his kitten out by the speeder, putting the bags carefully in the storage net. She looked up, even in the dark he could see her eyes seemed haunted.

Oh. Yes, the screams… they would have bothered her. He disengaged the mask, pulling it off as he stepped in front of her, looking down into her face. There was more conflict than he would like to see, given how much he needed her for this to work. Running a gloved hand down the side of her face he leaned towards her, “Are you okay with what you have to do tonight?”

Her eyes flicked away, looking down at the sand. For a moment didn’t think she was going to answer, but then she looked back at him, a cold hardness to her eyes that surprised him. “No, but I’m going to go through with it.” He raised his eyebrows at her, and she waved her hand in irritation, “I’m not okay with leaving either, but I’m not stupid, I know I can’t stay now. If the outsiders don’t kill me now the ones that allied with them here will.” Her voice cracked as she spoke, her fists clenched, then released, and her voice smoothed again, “So yes, I’m going to do it. I’m going to plant your bombs. I’m going to leave with you. Not because I want to do either but because I have to if I want to survive. And surviving is something I’m very good at.”   


He looked away a moment, running his fingers through his hair before looking back, regarding her thoughtfully. She seemed different. The way she was looking at him seemed different. It took him a moment to recognize it for what it was.

She wasn’t afraid of him. For the moment she wasn’t even intimidated by him. Right now she wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone. No fear, no anger-- unless you count the bit of irritation she had directed at him, anyway-- just cold resolve and determination. 

Almost Jedi-like, the start of a battle trance. It was a state he never could achieve, no matter how much his uncle had pressed him, and the attempts to try always weakened him. His uncle never could understand that what worked to create strength for one person would cause weakness in another. No, he had been too dedicated to the  **_way_ ** , the one way, the only way. Kriff him, the old fool.

It suited the girl, though he suspected she’d be equally suited to driving herself by passion, once taught to feed the fury he knew she was capable of until it drove away all fear. Perhaps in time she’d pick and chose how to tune her focus depending on the situation. Something few were capable of… he certainly wasn’t.   


There was a tension in the force around them now… it was crazy, but he was certain force was building, collecting, within her. Gods, but he could feel it condensing, flickering within. She was harnessing it, storing it, not just accessing it as she went. Not just acting as a conductor anymore, no, now she was a capacitor. And as the battle trace grew she was beginning to charge.

It was something no one would believe if they didn’t witness it happening, didn’t feel it happening. The idea was insane, but he couldn’t deny what he sensed. For the first time he realized she would be more powerful than him, given the proper training. She might end up being more powerful than anyone alive. Maybe more powerful than anyone alive or dead. 

All the more reason why she needed to be  _ his _ , be his of her own choice. 

He took a step forward, his face inches from hers, a small smile on his face. She glared up into his eyes, coldly, her voice a quiet huff of breath, “I’m not okay with you either.”

“I know,” his smile grew, without any warning he crashed his lips against hers. She startled against him a moment before relaxing in his arms. Her mouth opened slightly and he drove his tongue in, tasting her. She tensed again before relaxing, responding awkwardly. No, she wasn’t okay with him, but she still wanted him. He broke the kiss and she pulled back, gasping slightly, looking away, “But you’re still leaving with me.” He smirked.

Her eyes flicked back at him, irritated. He pressed his hands against her cheeks, “And you know that if anything happens tonight, I’m going to find you. I will come for you. The nine levels of hell will freeze over before I leave without you.”

The irritation faded from her eyes and for a split second he felt a crack form in the void of her emotions and she trembled between his hands. 

Then it was gone, just the coldness remaining as she pulled herself away from him. “We should go. If we’re going to do this, if I’m going to do this, we need to go.” She climbed onto the speeder and waited for him.

He nodded in agreement, putting his mask on before getting on the speeder behind her, “Yes. Let’s go.”

 

 

* * *

 

She left him not far from where the fighters were hidden before driving and parking the speeder on hidden on the outskirts of Niima. The bag seemed to weigh much more heavily than it should on her shoulders. A burden on her mind as well as her body.

In the darkness, she slipped among the tents and shacks, knowing exactly where she was going. Neither of her targets should have anyone there now. Unkar’s concession stand, which would be closed up for the night. It seemed fitting that he take some losses after being one of the ones to ally with these outsiders that had caused this havoc. 

The second was the constable’s office. It had been fairly silent since the outsiders came. Zuvio, she suspected, was not entirely happy with this situation and was not inclined to do anything to help Unkar and his new friends. She was less happy with that as a target, but it made sense, it was one of the few solid buildings in town.

She felt so strange now. Somehow both empty and full at the same time. Everything about herself seemed to have been muted, replaced with something else, something that made her feel like high tension wire thrumming with electricity. It wasn’t the first time she’d felt this way, but it was stronger than it had been before. Well, except for maybe once… she winced, she didn’t like to think about that once. The men who had jumped her to rob her when she was fourteen, she had nearly fought them off but there were too many.

After… she shivered, her mind avoiding going there. Skimming over the between of the leader of the game dragging her to her knees in front of him and to them dumping her, bound, gagged, and bleeding, off to the side of their camp. She had felt this then, her emotions bleeding away until there was nothing but the determination to escape, to survive. And she’d felt that thrumming sensation, the feeling of being filled and flowing with… something. 

She still wasn’t sure how she managed to loosen the ropes around her wrists to get free. But she had, and when the leader had approached her again she had pounced, wrestling his knife away from him and using it to gorge out his throat before fleeing into the night.

Reaching Unkar’s stand in the center of town she slipped through the shadows and pulled the large metal ball out, securing it to the wall. Taking a deep breath, she ghosted her finger over the detonator. Once she did this, there was no going back.

A sensible part of herself whispered there was already no going back. 

She pressed the detonator, starting the timer. Moving quickly now to the other side of town to the constable's office, which she was relieved to see was also empty. She planted the second bomb with no hesitation this time. Hitting the detonator and scurrying away through the maze of the tents of the market. There was maybe six minutes before the first bomb would go off. She needed to get out of town.

Tensing suddenly, every fiber of her being screamed at her to hide, and she ducked into a tent as she heard the approaching voices. 

“Done with this passive druk, Dameron.” She gritted her teeth at the voice. That kriffer…

“Allen, what do you want? Either he’s not with that girl in which case we’re busting into some poor kid’s home for no reason, or he IS in there and we’re going to have the entire assault team that goes in wiped out.” Poe’s voice joined in, they were getting closer.

“If he’s cornered…”

“For kriff’s sake, I was at the ambush, he was hit with enough sedatives to take down a kriffing bantha and he still carved his way through us. You wanna see what we get when he’s not drugged? Cause I really don’t.”

“We should have mixed in the suppressant in,” Allen’s voice sounded fretful. “No one thought he’d be able to stand after taking that much dolpidrin, much less fight. If we hit him with the cocktail we’ve got now…”

“Yeah, if? If? We need surprise or we have no chance.”

They were no more than three feet from her, separated just by the white cloth wall of the tent. She took a step back, her foot knocking a clay pot which rattled softly, she froze.

Outside the voices had stopped.

“Might just be one of them semi-feral sand cats that hang around. Some of the vendors feed ‘em,” she ducked under a table as Poe peered into the tent, his eyes passing over her. “Don’t see anything, probably whatever it was is slinking down low out of sight. Nothing to worry about…” 

Suddenly she was sure he’d seen her. He was pretending he hadn’t and letting Allen know where she was hiding. Because Allen wasn’t…

With no hesitation she lunged out from the table and slammed herself into Poe before he could react. Behind her she heard a snarl as Allen, who had snuck around to the other side of the tent, lunged over the table after her. Bolting, she took off down the pathway between the tents as fast as she could. Behind her she heard yelling, she turned and ducked down to the left, aiming to head in a straight line to her speeder.

A blur leapt out at her and she spun, just barely missing being tackled, but she spun directly into the second person there, who snagged her arms, “Going somewhere?” 

There was no more than a split second for her to look at the outsider holding on to her before the explosion rocked the middle of town. She drove her knee into the man’s groin, wrenching herself from his grasp and running as hard as she could. Ducking right on instinct as a blaster bolt passed by where she’d been a second before.

She emerged into the open section of sand on the outskirts of town and a figure jumped out at her, blaster raised. She stumbled backwards and landed on her ass in the sand, looking up at Poe’s blaster as more of them closed in around her.

Behind her she heard the second explosion lit up the night.

“What the hell do you think you're doing, kid?” he huffed, out of breath. 

A blaster pressed against the back of her head. “How many more are there?” Allen snarled behind her. She didn’t move, her hands clenching and unclenching, glaring up at Dameron as Allen spoke from behind her, “Listen carefully you little bitch of a desert rat, you’re going to tell if there are more bombs, and then you’re going to tell me where  _ he _ is. And if you are a good little girl and do that maybe I won’t blow your kriffing head off here in the sand.”

The energy in her seemed to be building, pressing outward, as if she herself was a bomb about to explode. Her eyes closed as the asshole behind her spoke again, “I’m giving you 10 kriffing secon--”

Her eyes snapped open and his words were cut off as he, and all the rest of them, went flying backwards, landing sprawled in the sand. She lurched to her feet, stumbling as she started to run again, blaster fire erupted around her and she fell to her knees, another burst seeming to emanate from her, ricocheting the blaster bolts away from her in every direction. She got up again only to have her legs tackled, she kicked, nearly catching Dameron in the face as she broke free, only to be hit hard again by another body.

Something stabbed into her shoulder as Dameron got to his feet, eyes wide. She struggled, but her strength seemed to be leaving her, the energy that had been flickering within fading. He looked over her shoulder at the man still holding her in a vice grip between his arms, shaking his head, “How the kriff...”

“I think our little rat here is more than what she seems,” Allen’s voice was rough. “But between the sedative and the force suppressant, I think you’re probably getting a little tired, eh girl?” His arms released from her and she fell to her knees. She couldn’t focus, her eyes kept doubling and a wave of nausea hit her. 

Reality was coming through in waves, vaguely she could catch bits of their voices, “get her underground… Plutt… search… bombs.”

Arms scooped her up from the ground, her head rolled into someone’s chest, and she faded into blackness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, cliffhanger, sorry-- *ducks and runs*


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Had a little chat with Unkar before we woke you up, told me an interesting little story from fourteen or fifteen years ago,” he paused, waiting to see if she'd react. “Apparently a ship showed up and a man dumped this little girl with him. Paid him some credits to keep her for a few weeks and left. The man promised the screaming little girl he come back for her over and over before fleeing back to the ship. While that little girl screamed for him to come back. Screamed it even as that ship vanished through the atmosphere.”
> 
> Her nostrils flared as she lifted her head to glare at the man who sat and studied her carefully before he spoke again, “No one ever came back for her, did they, girl? And no one really knows where the kriff she came from originally. No one really knows much of anything about her from before she was dumped here.”
> 
> “Kriff you,” she snarled.
> 
> He smirked again, “Unkar said you still think they'll be back for you one day. That's both sad and adorable.”
> 
> She looked down again, grinding her teeth, wishing she was free so she could claw the smug bastard’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hem and hawed a bit over this as I reread it, debating if I liked they way it was flowing or not and maybe I should tweak this or rewrite that... Finally just went with it.
> 
> I'm getting better with the "just go with it" lol, back in the day not being able to just say this is good enough was what killed my ability to finish a story.

His nerves were on edge. Nothing felt right. He hated that he’d sent her by herself, that part of this plan was out of his control. That she was out of his control.

He forced himself to be calm. There was no choice to back down now that this started. She was smart and she was powerful, she would be fine. She would see her part of the plan through.  He would see it the rest of the way through, and he and his girl would make it off this planet, one way or another.

There were several guards patrolling the area around their fighters. Around, but not in the valley between the dunes among them. Guarding the area but not wanting to draw attention as to why.

If… no, not if, when, the girl succeeded, they would hopefully be sent running to town. Then his only obstacle would be the droids… each fighter had an astromech, which could easily sound an alarm. He would have to disable them as he found them. It shouldn't be too difficult. Disable the droids, plant the bombs, get the kriff out and com Hux to send in the TIEs. The first pass would fire on the town, hopefully sending their pilots running down to the fighters, at which point he’d trigger the detonator. Take out some of the fighters, hopefully take out more than a few of the Resistance pilots, and give the TIEs a nice fiery flag to come and target with their air assault.

He waited, trying to meditate, trying to focus, trying not to worry about his kitten. Failing to be particularly successful at any of them. It shouldn’t be much longer. It couldn’t be much longer. 

The explosion near dead center of town rocked the night, a ball of fire rising into the darkness. He grinned, it was a beautiful thing to see.

The guards patrolling were already running towards the blast, the undisciplined fools, just as he expected. Waiting till he was sure they were all far enough away, he shouldered the bag and scurried down the side of the steep dune, sliding most of the way and landing on his feet running. 

Several droids immediately started beeping, he sent a force blast into them by sound alone, the metallic crunch letting him know he was on target. He worked his way down, setting the bombs staggered among the fighters, disabling or destroying every droid as he came across them. When the second blast rocked the town he took no notice, focusing on the task at hand. He placed the last bomb, hurrying back the way he came down, looking for any droids he may have missed as he left.

A whirring noise caught his attention and he saw it, a small BB unit, rushing away a good distance ahead of him. He swore under his breath and sent a blast towards it, but the little bastard was too far, his blast only threw him forward. It was sent rolling out of control, but moving even further from his reach. Snarling, he turned and scrambled back up the dune, hurrying to the vantage point he had picked out earlier.

It gave him a clear sight line down into the dip where the fighters and his little surprises were waiting.  Worse came to worse, and that droid came with help, he’d just blow them early. Looking towards town, he reached out and felt for his girl, but came up empty. That was probably a good thing, probably meant she’d gotten out… still, he wished he could sense her on the outskirts, know that she’d gotten out safely. 

Closing his eyes, he pulled out the comlink and activated it, “Finalizer, do you copy?”

“Of course we do, Ren, we’re waiting,” a voice chuckled.

“Everything is in place down here, General,” he smirked, “sorry to keep you waiting.”

“Good. We’ll have the fighters hit the first targets in ten minutes.”

“I look forward to watching this place burn,” he said. “Signing off.” He terminated the com, taking a deep breath. Sitting cross legged in the darkness, waiting. 

Someone was coming.

He opened his eyes seeing a figure hurrying down the path from town. Just one. He’d hate to have to prematurely detonate for just one. The BB unit rolled along next to the man, who stopped scanning the area around the fighters before bending down and talking to the droid. It went rolling quickly back towards town.

Instead of heading towards the fighters, the man started climbing the dune, blaster held defensively. Reaching out to feel him better, a small smile spread across his face behind his mask.

_ Dameron.  _

Oh, he did have some things that he’d like to settle with that son of a bitch. And he was conveniently headed this way. He kept himself still, waiting for the bastard to get close enough. Once he did he’d strike. 

And then they’d have a little chat. Maybe he’d even let him live to see the results of this trap he’d set for the pilots. Let him see his friends die before he killed him.

Behind the mask he grinned and waited.

 

 

* * *

 

She came to groggily, trying to reach up to hold her head, only to find them restrained, metal clanking against metal. Looking down at the metal chair she was chained to for a moment, she fought a wave of nausea before looking around the small room she was in. There was a sandstone floor and mud-brick walls and ceiling, and a solid metal door.

Looking up she met the dark grey eyes of the man sitting in a metal chair across from her, “Where am I?”

“Niima,” Allen answered crossing his arms as he seemed to study her face. She looked around again, puzzled. If this was still somewhere in Niima, she had no idea where it might be. Turning to look at Allen she winced as another wave of nausea hit her and she closed her eyes tight.

“If you’re going to puke, there’s a bucket, let me know and I’ll give it to you.” She opened her eyes and glared at him, only to be met with an indifferent shrug, “Unless you want to be covered in your own sick, makes no difference to me.”

“What did you do to me?” She was nauseated and had a headache, but there was something else that just was off, wrong. As if she wasn’t entirely herself anymore.

“Hit you with a cocktail we made up for your friend. Certainly wasn't expecting to need it for you,” he seemed to be studying her again. “Dolpidrin, powerful sedative. Ceftaspan, force suppressant. Oh, and once we got you secured down here you got boniprosate, counter-agent for the sedative to wake you up so we could chat.”

“F-force suppressant?”

“Disrupts a force-user’s ability to access the force,” his flat expression broke into an unkind smirk. “Makes you a little safer to be around. Nausea is a side effect, among a few others. I'm sure you feel like druk. Get used to it, you're not going off the ceftaspan any time in the near future. I just sent Dameron to get more to keep on hand down here.”

She growled, and he chuckled, “You're quite the spitfire, aren't you, girl? That bastard must've done a hell of a good job kriffing with your head to get you to cooperate with him.” 

Her anger flared and she pulled at the restraints, refusing to look at the kriffer. She wasn't going to give the kriff any information, so she glared at him in silence.

“Had a little chat with Unkar before we woke you up, told me an interesting little story from fourteen or fifteen years ago,” he paused, waiting to see if she'd react. “Apparently a ship showed up and a man dumped this little girl with him. Paid him some credits to keep her for a few weeks and left. The man promised the screaming little girl he come back for her over and over before fleeing back to the ship. While that little girl screamed for him to come back. Screamed it even as that ship vanished through the atmosphere.”

Her nostrils flared as she lifted her head to glare at the man who sat and studied her carefully before he spoke again, “No one ever came back for her, did they, girl? And no one really knows where the kriff she came from originally. No one really knows much of anything about her from before she was dumped here.”

“Kriff you,” she snarled. 

He smirked again, “Unkar said you still think they'll be back for you one day. That's both sad and adorable.”

She looked down again, grinding her teeth, wishing she was free so she could claw the smug bastard’s face.

“You had no idea, did you? Unkar sure didn't. Thought I was crazy for saying you were. Said you're nothing more than a talented scavenger. See, though, that's something you see with latents. Even when they have no awareness of their force sensitivity, they're still tapping it. Makes them very good at things they put their minds too.” She looked up again to find the cold grey eyes studying her. “I'm sure Kylo Ren was aware of it when he found you. Maybe not how strong you were, but I'm sure he figured that out sooner rather than later.” He paused, looking again for some kind of reaction, sighing when he got none, “You’re a weapon to him, you know that, right? You’re going to be his little gift to Snoke. There was no way he was leaving without you as soon as he knew what you were.”

“What I am,” she muttered, looking away, “is noone.”

Allen snorted, rubbing a hand over his short hair, “Girl, you exploded like a kriffing force bomb out there tonight. You threw eleven men like it was nothing… and what you did with the blaster bolts... I didn’t know that was even possible.” She stared at him. What did she do out there, exactly? She just remembered the feeling that the energy was building and was going to burst out of her… which she guessed it did. He let out an aggravated sigh at her continued silence, “Let me explain this to you. I actually knew some of the new Jedi. We worked with them on a few different missions back in the day. Didn’t ever meet Skywalker but the people I worked with had trained under him for years. None of them could have done what you did tonight, what you did with no force training or control.”

“Skywalker?” she looked at him again, incredulous. “Skywalker is a kriffing myth.”

“Skywalker was very real, as were the new Jedi, until your new friend destroyed them,” he shook his head. “We can help you, Rey. Tell us where he is and what you were planning tonight.”

She let out a laugh, “You want to help me? Earlier you were threatening to blow my head off if I didn’t start talking in ten seconds.”

“Yeah. That was when I thought you were worthless little insolent bitch of a desert rat.”

Her teeth bared, “I’m not giving you people anything.”

A vibration tremored through the room, bits of dust falling from the ceiling, and Allen looked up scowled before looking back at her and getting to his feet, stalking slowly over to stand over her. “You might be worth something now, but you’re still an insolent little bitch, aren’t you?” She refused to look at him or answer him. “I know Organa’s going to want you, want to try to show you the light, so I’m being extra nice right now and not bringing an interrogation team down to convince you to be a little more polite.”

The room rattled again. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a syringe, “I’m afraid I need to go find out what the kriff is happening now.” She shrank back as far as the restraints would allow her. His free hand reached over and snagged her hair, jerking it harshly to force her head to look at him. “Let me be clear about one thing. If for some reason I’m not going to be able to leave this planet with you in our custody, I’m blowing your head off.” He leaned down, his grey eyes looking coldly into hers, “And it’s nothing personal. But you’re going to die before I let Kylo Ren and the First Order have you. You’re far too dangerous.” He jabbed the needle into her upper arm, “That should be enough suppressant to keep you for the next eight hours or so.”

He walked back over to his chair and kicked the bucket sitting next to it over so it skidded over against her feet. “If you’re going to be sick, aim for that,” he said, not looking at her, walking out the room, the heavy metal door slamming behind him.

She closed her eyes, fighting a rising feeling of panic as she pulled against her restraints. Everything felt wrong, it felt like some part of her she couldn’t even describe had been cut away. Something that had always been there but was now gone.

The force. That part of her that was gone was the force. It had always been there. It had always been a part of her, she just hadn’t realized what it was.

Kylo had said he would come for her if anything happened. He would, wouldn’t he? He would find her? A small voice in her head mocked her for even thinking he would. No one ever came back. She wasn’t someone worth coming back for.

Gritting her teeth, she told that voice to shut up. He would come. Kylo would come. She exhaled an angry breath, and if he didn’t… if he didn’t she’d find a way to escape on her own. Force or no force, she would escape, she would survive.

Surviving was what she was very good at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whee... more action continues next chapter.
> 
> In a random note- in Chained I had a miserable asshole of a Resistance commander named Kelen. At the same time I was writing the earlier chapters of Snare and introduced Allen and was like, I'm creating the same character here under a different name. In fact I got their names mixed up at one point and had to clean up a chapter in Chained to correct it back to Kelen.
> 
> I'm happy to say at this point, they're diverging pretty well into their own characters. Kelen was a cynical, negative, paranoid ass bit was self aware of it, and had his own sort of charm towards the end of that story in his miserableness. 
> 
> Allen doesn't have any of that. He's just a dick. I'm pretty sure that's been solidly established this chapter.
> 
> XOXO for all the comments. I love you guys.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He stalked towards Dameron. Saber crackling at his side, he might not have time to enjoy watching the man suffer, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t leave him to die slow. Gut him and leave him alive and writhing in the sand.
> 
> The man moved suddenly and he swiped with his blade barely missing him, stumbling back as Dameron slammed into his legs.
> 
> A needle stabbed into his calf. His eyes widened behind the mask in dawning horror and slammed his boot into Dameron’s face, knocking back, then landed a second kick into his stomach.
> 
> He stalked forward as Dameron pulled himself to his feet. If the bastard had injected him with the sedative they hit him with in the village, he would have felt it much worse by now. Whatever this was seemed to be doing something, his stomach was already reacting negatively to it. What the hell had he been given…
> 
> A dawning horror struck him and he froze in place. He was weakening. His power bleeding away, his contact with the force was fading. The sense slipping away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have proofread this before posting like a good author... um, but I'm tired and want to go crash and still wanted to update, so.. yeah, I didn't. Bad me. Sorry about any typos or atrocious grammar. I'll probably ninja edit this tomorrow when I finally read it.

 

He was heading back to Allen after getting a dozen syringes of ceftaspan from Charrel, the only remaining medic since Doc Feraan and their other medic Caalin had both been killed at the village ambush. His mind still reeling over what had happened with the girl… that damn girl. Somehow Kylo Ren had randomly found himself a force user, and had brainwashed that girl to do his bidding. Gods damn all of this. This whole mess. This entire mess of a mission. 

Leaving the girl with Allen made him nervous, though the commander had assured him, as he gave her the counter-agent to the sedative, that if he had planned to make her hurt he’d have brought an interrogation team down. That he was planning on taking her to the General to let her deal with. Still… Allen was a blaster with a shorted plasma splitter right now. Just about anything could cause him to blow. 

A frantic beeping made him stop and spin in his tracks. Beebeeate was rushing towards him, alarming frantically. He ran over and dropped to his knee, “Buddy, what’s up.” His eyes widened as the droid beeped frantically at him in binary. 

The fighters… oh hell. Sending the girl to plant the bombs in town had been a distraction. He got to his feet and rushed down the path out of town, stopping before heading down into the hollow where their squadrons were hidden. Resisting the urge to just run down there, he turned and crouched down next to the droid, “Which way did you think he went?” The droid’s head whirred to look up the dune and he nodded, “Okay, buddy, I need you to head into town and let more people know.” The droid let out a worried beep, “I’ll be fine, go, now.” 

He looked up the dune warily as the droid headed back into town. This was crazy, probably suicide. Gripping his blaster tighter he walked steadily up the sliding sands of the dune, searching the night. There was something more going on than just sabotage. He didn’t know what it was, but Ren was not stupid, there was some kind of plan at work here. 

Wandering along the top of the dune, there was no sign anyone had been up there. The sands here shifted too easily, sliding and hiding any foot prints. Spinning around, he shook his head, he had no chance of--

Hands grabbed him from behind, one settling forcefully around his throat, the other catching his wrist and twisting it, sending the blaster dropping from his hands and then flying off into the darkness as if thrown by an invisible hand. He threw his head back, trying to connect with the head of his attacker, but only managed to hurt himself when it collided with the durasteel of his attacker’s mask. A mechanical laugh barked out of the vocoder as the hand tightened on his throat, cutting off his air. He fumbled into his pocket for the syringe with the cocktail of sedatives and force suppressants they were all carrying, but it slipped out of his fingers and was lost to the sand.

He was going to kriffing die out here.

A foot slammed into the hollow of his knee and his legs gave out. As he fell the hand choking him released him, and he found himself on his hands and knees, gasping. There was a crackling noise and the sand around him was lit with flickering red light.

The blade of the lightsaber slid close enough to his neck that he could feel his skin burn, the point just inside his line of vision.

“Dameron, Poe. Rank of Commander. Squadron leader,” the mechanical voice spoke. 

He pulled himself up to kneel, his jacket pocket slapping heavily against his thigh… he blinked, his hand slipping to press against the dozen syringes he had stuffed into the pocket after Charrel had handed them over. Lifting his head up, ignoring the pain of his neck burning, he spoke, “You forgot best pilot in the Resistance.” His slipped his hand into his pocket and slid out the syringe, hiding it in his closed fist as best he could.

The dark figure circled around him till he stood in front of him, lightsaber point directly under his chin. Ren’s head cocked, “Son of a bitch that shot me. I haven’t forgotten that.”

“Oh, yeah, I did, didn’t I? Hope that hurt. A lot.”

Ren just cocked his head again, extending a hand out, “I’m going to take my time killing you. But first, you’re going to tell me everything.”

“Go kriff yourself,” he spat, his hand tightening around the syringe. He might have one chance to use it, he had to time it right. 

Pain shot through his head suddenly, pressure building to intolerable levels and he tried to scream but a pressure filled his throat and nothing came out but air. Then it eased, the dark man in front of him seeming to be frozen in horror.

“The girl,” horror somehow seemed to slip through into the mechanical voice above him. Then it lowered to a growl, vocoder unable to mask the rage that was pulsing in the voice behind it, “Where is she?!” 

He tried to block her location from him as the pressure and pain began to build again, “The Resistance will not…” he gasped.

“WHERE”

“...be intimidated…”

“IS”

“...by you,” he finished, curling over as the pain became unbearable.

“SHE?!?”

A scream, silenced again to nothing but air, tried to leave him as he fell onto his hands, somehow managing to keep his fist and keep hold of the syringe. Then the pain ceased.

“Underground,” the form above him muttered, stepping forward. He pushed his forehead down to the sand a moment before lifting his head up. He’d failed to keep it from him.

“You scum dared to take what is mine?” the voice seemed to vibrate roughly through the vocoder. “My girl.”

He flicked the cover off the syringe with his thumb as Ren got closer, “I don’t think she belongs to anyone but herself.”

Ren lifted the lightsaber, he tensed and lunged forward, the saber grazing his jacket sleeve, scorching it. He slammed himself into Ren’s legs, and as the man stumbled backwards he stabbed the needle into the man's calf, hitting the plunger to feed the force suppressant into him. 

A boot slammed into his face and then his stomach and he pulled himself up, teeth bared. As the dark robed figured stalked towards him.

How quick did that druk start to work? It worked fast, didn’t it? Even with an intramuscular injection, it worked fast…at least he thought it did.

Pulling himself up to his feet and taking a step back from the looming figure, he sure hoped that it did. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_ Rey. _

The bastards had captured her. They’d taken his girl. Underground… there was a small underground complex dug out under Niima, going back to the days when Niima the Hutt had formed the town. 

He stalked towards Dameron. Saber crackling at his side, he might not have time to enjoy watching the man suffer, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t leave him to die slow. Gut him and leave him alive and writhing in the sand.

The man moved suddenly and he swiped with his blade barely missing him, stumbling back as Dameron slammed into his legs.

A needle stabbed into his calf. His eyes widened behind the mask in dawning horror and slammed his boot into Dameron’s face, knocking back, then landed a second kick into his stomach. 

He stalked forward as Dameron pulled himself to his feet. If the bastard had injected him with the sedative they hit him with in the village, he would have felt it much worse by now. Whatever this was seemed to be doing something, his stomach was already reacting negatively to it. What the hell had he been given…

A dawning horror struck him and he froze in place. He was weakening. His power bleeding away, his contact with the force was fading. The sense  slipping away from him.

Force suppressant. The son of a bitch had injected him with a force suppressant. His fury nearly blinded him as he lifted his saber. The heavy hilt and weightless blade felt unwieldy and off balance now with the force to steady and guide him.

He didn't need the force to end the man in front of him. And force or no force, he would find his girl. 

A grin spread across Dameron's face, “Not feeling so hot, are ya?”

His snarl ripped through the vocoder as he lunged, slashing downward with his blade, just missing Dameron as the man ducked and drove into his torso, driving him backwards towards the crest of the dune. Hands wrapped around his wrist and twisted, forcing his hand open, his saber falling and sizzling in the sand a moment before the safety forced it to disengage. He drove his knee up into Dameron’s chest, knocking him back. 

“Not so tough when the fight is fair.”

The sound of TIE fighters swooping in caught both their attention as four cut through the air above them, heading for the town. Leaving a trail of destruction as they opened fire. Behind his mask he grinned.

Dameron lunged, throwing a punch, he dropped down and rammed his shoulder into the man, sending him stumbling backwards towards the edge. The man stumbled, his foot slipping over the edge and the loose sand slid under his feet. Dameron tumbled backwards, rolling down the steep bank of sand and landing on top of one of the hidden fighters with a thud.

He stared down at the man groaning and trying to push himself back up. Grinding his teeth, he turned on his heels, snatching his lightsaber where it lay partially covered in the sand. He hurried over to where he’d force thrown Dameron’s blaster. Without the force he was going to need a ranged weapon. He found it by nearly tripping over it in the sand.

The TIEs were making a second pass through the town. He watched with satisfaction as the rubble from the shanties and tents were sent flying. Fumbling in his pocket, he pulled the detonator out of his pocket. Once he set off the bombs set among the fighters the TIEs would make their pass, hopefully obliterating the ones that survive the initial bombing. 

Running his finger over the detonation button, he hoped Dameron would be caught in one of the blasts. Turning to look, he held his breath as he jabbed his finger down on the detonator. The sand beneath him trembled as the explosions rocked the night. Exhaling, he shouldered the blaster. Whatever was left of the fighters were left to the TIEs now to take out.

Closing his eyes, he recalled Dameron’s memory of where to find access to the underground complex. Satisfied he knew where to go, he took off at a run towards the now burning town. His head was beginning to throb and his stomach was churning. Side effects of the force suppressant, he suspected. He forced himself to ignore them. 

He had his girl to find, and not even the nine levels of hell were going to keep him from getting to her.

 

 

* * *

 

Her fingertips throbbed as she caught them against the edge of the screw. They were bleeding now, and it made the job harder, her fingers more likely to slip off the screw without getting it to turn.

She could just barely reach it in the restraints. When she had brushed her fingers over it the first time and felt the tiniest of wiggles, she’d set about working to loosen it.  It was impossible to actually see it from where she sat, but she was fairly sure it held one side of the right armrest to the chair frame. The armrest that her right wrist was chained to. 

If she could get that screw out and bend the armrest back she might be able to get the kriffing chain off. And then maybe she could catch the next son of a bitch who came into this room with her by surprise. She really hoped it would be that Allen kriffer. If she had to hurt someone, she’d really like to to be him.

What exactly would happen after that and how to turn one free arm into an escape wasn’t exactly clear. But one free arm was a start.

One kinda loose screw maybe was a bit of hope. Maybe it was silly hope, futile hope, but it  _ was _ hope. And her life futile hope had been one of the things that drove her to survive, to make it another day and another hash mark. One loose screw. One loose screw and the hope of escape.

Her fingers caught on the screw and it gave a sharp turn. Catching it again, it once again turned, easier this time. She did again. And again.

Blood dripped from her fingertips to the floor, but the screw continued to unthread from chair. Ignoring the pain, she continued to work at it, until there was a satisfying clatter as the screw fell to the floor, rolling among the splattered drops of blood. Pressing against the armrest, she felt it gap, ever so slightly from the side of the chair. Pushing the chain holding her restraint down, she tried to press it through, but the gap wasn’t wide enough. She pushed her weight against the armrest to try and spread the gap, straining as she twisted her hand awkwardly to put pressure on the chain and push it through.

It slipped suddenly, clanging against the metal legs of the chair. Her thumbnail caught against the edge of the armrest as the chain suddenly moved, peeling back. She hissed and instinctively pulled her hand to her mouth to suck on the wound…

Her hand could reach her mouth. Her right hand was still attached to the chain by the metal cuff on her wrist, but the chain hung, attached to nothing. Looking down at her feet, she saw they were bound at the ankles with leather straps. Bending down, she loosened them till she could pull her feet out at will. Then paused to suck on her torn, bloody fingers for a moment.  


The left arm was still chained to the remaining armrest, the metal cuff wouldn’t open without a key. Wrapping the hanging chain loosely around the armrest, hiding the fact that it was no longer attached. She closed her eyes. Waiting for an opportunity to strike. 

The first chance she got she intended to take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, this is getting fun, isn't it? The two force users ain't got no force. This should get really interesting.
> 
> Also, Rey is a badass. Next person to fuck with her is going to be sorry.
> 
> Love all of you. :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An elbow slammed down between his shoulder blades driving his torso down as a knee a crashed into his stomach. He staggered, vaguely aware of a clattering noise. Glancing down he saw, to his horror, that the bastard had knocked his saber from the holster. He made a frantic lunge, only to have the butt of a blaster rammed into the side of his mask, sending him staggering sideways before sprawling on his back.
> 
> Allen walked forward, kicking the fallen lightsaber behind him as he passed. He flashed his teeth as he leveled the blaster, “Heard you got some meds in you. Little more docile this way, eh Benny?”
> 
> His snarl reverberated through the vocoder as he pushed himself up roughly, but a blaster bolt suddenly bounced between his spread legs and he stilled, a growl still vibrating in his throat.
> 
> “Your mother wants you alive, boy, but I wasn’t given any orders on how many limbs you needed to have. Move one more time and I’ll start blasting them off joint by joint.” Allen bared his teeth as he stepped forward, “No one said how many intact bones either. Maybe we’ll see how many we can break on the trip back.”

Most of the locals had already fled the town for the dunes, leaving just the frantic Resistance fighters scrambling scattered about. Not being able to sense who was near was maddening. He’d already been forced to slow himself down after he’d nearly lost his footing coming down a dune when the sand shifted under him. It was slowly a horrifying realization how much he used the force without even being aware of it. His spacial awareness was deadened to the point that he was forced to concentrate on not tripping. His ability to read his surroundings was so numb, being forced to rely on his weaker senses. 

The anger and frustration were boiling over in him, and the dark beast that lived within that he’d normally channel them to was missing. There was no power in the anger now, and it served more as a distraction than an ally.

He ducked behind the rubble of a shanty and peered out to see two Resistance men talking frantically. Crouching low, he raised the blaster to take aim. The first shot would be the easy one, the second one he’d need to get off fast before the remaining man took cover.

Gods, how long had it been since he fired one of these things?

His mind went back to being eleven or so, his father next to him, fixing the hand hold. Telling him how to keep the weapon steady and take aim on the targets he’d set up for him to practice on in the empty clearing. The lessons had always began and ended with a wink and a reminder to not tell his mother about any of it. 

_ You don’t want to strangle it. Hold it too tight and you’re muscles are going to shake with the tension.  _

For the first time in a long time, he welcomed his father’s voice back into his mind as he steadied the weapon and relaxed his grip somewhat.  He steadied the blaster, taking aim, breathing in once and slowly exhaling before his finger squeezed the trigger.

The blaster bolt slammed into the first soldier’s chest and he staggered back and crumpled. The second man stepped back in alarm and he shifted his aim, resisting the urge to tighten his grip on the weapon. He fired again before the man could finish lifting his own weapon.

Two shots, two kills.

He got up and worked his way through the town, depending on his eyes and his ears to detect anyone coming. Turning down one of the narrow paths between tents he found himself nearly crashing into a Resistance fighter coming the other direction. He lunged forward before the fighter could react, slamming the butt of his blaster into his face before firing point blank as she stumbled backwards. 

As he covered the remaining distance to the location of the entrance to the underground complex, he made three more kills. Only one came close to getting away, managing to dodge his first shot and turn and run. His second shot missed, third caught the man in the leg, sending him sprawling into the hard packed sand.

The fourth shot was made point blank, standing over the fallen man as he blasted his head off.

He hid in the debris of Plutt’s building as a door in the ground opened up and several Resistance popped out. It took all of his willpower to stay hidden and not open fire. There was no way for him to know how many more were down there and drawing attention to himself just to have the satisfaction of killing them would be stupid.

Waiting a few more minutes to make sure no one appeared to be coming or going, he moved closer. His shadow, cast by the light of a burning tent, stretched long on the ground next to him as he crouched next to the door and pulled it open to review a twisting metal staircase leading down. He stared down it, feeling hopelessly blind to whatever was waiting for him.

Shouldering the blaster, he grabbed the handrails and began to descend into the unknown.

 

 

* * *

 

There were voices. Two voices, echoing from outside the metal door of her cell.

Whatever was happening outside had them frantic. There had been a steady stream of frantic voices and footsteps passing by her cell. Part of Kylo's plan? Or was it just everything turning into an epic clusterkriff?

“...reinforcements…” that Allen kriff. Getting closer. 

“How... this close...” a woman's voice.

Footsteps stopped next to the door, voices muffled through the metal, “Fulcrum.”

“You haven’t been quiet about your distrust of him.”

“Yeah, that’s not changing anytime soon. I want the girl secured, get her on the smaller transport. I’m issuing an evac order, incoming fleet or not.”

The sound of the door’s lock being opened made her tense. Whatever happened next might be her only chance. The door opened a small woman slipped in, walking over to the wall to throw a bag on small counter along the back wall before turning, running a hand through her hair to push the wavy red locks from a young face.

This enemy wasn’t much older than she was, a fact that made her stomach churn even more uneasily than it already was.  There was an exhausted and shellshocked look about the woman who stood accessing her with dark green eyes that looked overwhelmed but kind.

“Don’t suppose you know how much you weigh?” the woman’s voice made her jump and she narrowed her eyes. Why would that matter?

The green eyes flicked away, “Yeah, probably not. I’ll estimate.” The woman turned, opening the bag, “I’m Mya Charrel. Got a name?” 

She glared at the woman’s back, saying nothing. Charrel rubbed a hand across her face before turning back, a syringe and a vial gripped in her hand, “Okay, not talking. Guess I can understand that. I probably wouldn’t be either.”

Muttering to herself, Charrel drew some liquid from the vial before looking up to notice the tense look she was being given.

“I’m not going to hurt you, it’s just a sedative,” the voice was kind and timid.  “Probably overdosing you slightly but I’m not going to give you a dose that would take down a TaunTaun like Allen would probably want. I took an oath to do no harm and mixing high doses of dolpidrin and ceftaspan may not kill someone but it sure as kriff does harm.”

Stop talking, she willed. Stop acting so gods damned human. It was just going to make what came next harder. She closed her eyes a second and reminded herself this was an enemy. One of the people who had taken her prisoner, drugged her, and working for that kriff Allen who flat out threatened to kill her. She might get once chance to escape and she refused to let emotions get in the way. If she needed to kill this woman she would.

The woman walked closer, with a sigh, “Not like any of this was what I signed up for.” Crouching down in front of her, the woman looked into her face and there was nothing in her eyes but a wish to comfort as she gave a small shrug, “I’m sure you didn’t sign up for  _ this _ either.”  Charrel reached over and gave her shoulder a squeeze, an attempt to reassure, “Just relax. No one is going to hurt you.” Charrel’s hand slipped down, turning her left arm to look at the veins.

She moved fast, the chain clattering against the chair as she lunged. Charrel’s eyes widened at the movement and tried to pull away, but she kicked her feet from the restraints and wrapped her legs around her to keep her from getting away. Looping the chain in her free hand she managed to get it around the woman's throat, twisting it tight as she jerked the woman close. The syringe clattered to the floor as Charrel brought her hands up to claw at the chain choking her.   


She rattled her left hand against the restraint, “Unlock it,” she hissed. Terror was radiating off Charrel but the woman fought hard, her head coming back to connect with Rey’s face. She twisted the chain tighter, closing her eyes and ignoring the wetness she felt leak from them, “I will kill you if I have to.”

Charrel clawed at the chain again before her hand dropped into her pocket and produced a small key. Red faced, the woman turned, fumbling to get it into the keyhole from the awkward angle. She untwisted the chain a little, letting the woman get a small amount of air. The key slipped into the lock and turned, the shackle falling off her wrist with a clatter.

Snagging the key, she unlocked the shackle holding her right wrist to the loose chain before standing and dragging Charrel forward, grabbing the chain with both hands. Tightening it again. The woman flailed her arms. A stinging pain lanced through her side and she realized she was bleeding. She saw the small knife in the woman’s hand and twisted the chain hard as she slammed them both into the sandstone floor, pulling herself up and slamming her knee down on the arm holding the blade and kicking it out of the woman’s hand.

Looking down, she couldn’t find it in herself to be angry, even having been stabbed by her. The woman was fighting to save herself, and whatever her purpose was with the Resistance, it was clear she wasn’t trained as a fighter. Could she blame her for not wanting to die?

What now? What to do now? What to do about the woman she was strangling? The woman who might have been one of her captors, but had still tried to comfort her before when there was no reason to do so? No reason but to be kind.

Kylo would have killed her. He would have said you don't show you enemies mercy.

“Please…” the woman gasped out. The plea cut worse than any blade. She loosened the chain slightly. 

She wasn't kriffing Kylo.

Which meant she still had no idea what to do. She wished it had been that bastard Allen, she would have gladly choked the life out of him if given a chance. Her eyes glanced down and rested on the fallen syringe. With a heave, she dragged Charrel over to it and collapsed on the floor, putting the chain back into one hand as she grabbed the needle and bundled the woman’s red locks into the hand holding the chain, pulling her head sideways and jabbing the needle into an artery.

The sedative worked fast and she loosened the chain, letting the woman gasp for air as consciousness drifted away. After a few minutes she pulled the chain away and stood, looking down at the knife wound. It looked fairly superficial. 

Walking across the room she bent down and grabbed the knife, a small folding pocket knife, before looking into the woman’s bag. Medical supplies… no weapons. Well, other than the drugs anyway. Too young to be a doctor, maybe a medic? 

Pawing through she found bacta patches and slapped one over the wound on her stomach.  Closing the bag and shouldering it, the supplies might come in handy. She wished she had her staff, instead of heading out into the unknown with just a pocket knife and a length of chain for weapons.

Slowly she pushed open the door and peered into a hallway made of the same mud-brick and sandstone. Slipping out, she looked both directions, no idea of where to go. She held the chain tight around her hand, doing her best to keep it from rattling. With nothing to tell her which way to go, she picked a direction and began to head down it.

 

 

* * *

 

The spiral of metal stairs ended on a landing of sandstone, steps cut into the rock leading even further downward. Dim lights were embedded roughly into the rock, lighting the rest of the way down. A brighter spot of light further down was the goal, where the stairs end into a hallway. His eyes and his ears didn’t indicate anyone was around.

Not that they were the best senses to trust, but for now they were all he had.

There was nothing sensible about the design of this place, with rooms and hallways jutting off at random. He walked forward, as quietly as possible, scanning for any movement, listening for any sound. Each room, every hallway, seemed like a potential ambush as he passed them. He’s so kriffing blind right now, forced to rely on these weak senses.

But nothing, so far he came across no one. He tried to pull a sense of how to navigate this kriffing mess of rooms from Dameron’s memory, but even those were fuzzy. Dameron hadn’t spent a lot of time down here.

He reached a junction where the hallway forked in three directions. Kriff it all, he had no idea where to go. Staring, he alternated between each opening,  _ eenie meenie minie moe? _ Gritting his teeth, he sighed, take a route and hope for the best?

The air seemed to move around him, like a breeze wicking against his sweat… his eyes widened-- there should be no breezes in this hole in the ground-- and he ducked, spinning around as the butt of a blaster skimmed the top of this mask and smashed full force into the wall, sending chips of brick flying. Before he could raise his blaster a foot slammed into it, sending it flying from his hands. He snarled and lunged, slamming into his attacker, trying to wrestle the blaster from his grip.

An elbow slammed down between his shoulder blades driving his torso down as a knee a crashed into his stomach. He staggered, vaguely aware of a clattering noise. Glancing down he saw, to his horror, that the bastard had knocked his saber from the holster. He made a frantic lunge, only to have the butt of a blaster rammed into the side of his mask, sending him staggering sideways before sprawling on his back.

Allen walked forward, kicking the fallen lightsaber behind him as he passed. He flashed his teeth as he leveled the blaster, “Heard you got some meds in you. Little more docile this way, eh Benny?”

His snarl reverberated through the vocoder as he pushed himself up roughly, but a blaster bolt suddenly bounced between his spread legs and he stilled, a growl still vibrating in his throat.

“Your mother wants you alive, boy, but I wasn’t given any orders on how many limbs you needed to have. Move one more time and I’ll start blasting them off joint by joint.” Allen bared his teeth as he stepped forward, “No one said how many intact bones either. Maybe we’ll see how many we can break on the trip back.”

“I’m going to enjoy it when I send you and all men to hell,” he said, his eyes flicked to movement behind Allen. The mask hid the motion of his eyes, leaving Allen oblivious.

Allen laughed, “Or I could gut shoot you… you’d probably make it back alive. Watching you writhe might be wor--”  His words were cut off and he staggered backwards, his blaster firing into the air as his free hand groped at the chain around his throat. The girl hung on to the chain with a death grip, even as Allen lunged forward and dragged her off the ground.

He didn’t hesitate, diving from his spot on the ground to tackle the man’s knees, driving him to the floor and wrestling away the blaster. Rey tightened her hold on the chain as she pressed her knees against his back. He stood up and slammed his boot into the small of the man’s back, sending him flat on the floor. Circling to the front, he looked at the girl, “Rey?” He angled the blaster out, an offer, he could finish him for her. 

The only response was a snarl, a possessive snarl. This was her kill and she wanted it, and if that’s what she wanted he would oblige.   


She was stunningly beautiful in her rage. 

Taking a step back, he waited, watchful for both any interlopers who might come across them, as well as in case the man had one final spurt of strength to try and throw her off. If he did he would kick him down again to let her finish. As the man went limp, he reached up and took off his mask, dropping it to the ground as he leaned on the wall, waiting for her to be satisfied that the bastard was dead.

When she was she dropped the chain, letting it clatter against the sandstone. Slowly she climbed to her feet, taking a few shaky steps towards him before she stumbled forward. He caught her, pulling her against his chest.

“You’re okay,” he murmured.

She looked up at him, her eyes wet and bright, “You came. You came back.”

He shook his head, a small smile on his lips, “I told you if anything happened I’d find you… though I think this counts as you finding me.” 

Without any warning she crashed her lips against his. Hungry, passionate, as if she wanted to devour him. He slipped his hand behind her head, holding her close as he swept his tongue through her lips, tasting her.

The broke apart, gasping. 

“Probably not the place for this,” he said, voice soft. “They hit me with a force suppressant. I’m guessing you were given it too?”

She nodded, biting her bottom lip. He pulled back, gathering the blaster he’d lost and his saber, before picking up Allen’s blaster and handing it to the girl, “We need to get out of here. We’re weakened right now.”

His pocket vibrated, he fumbled out the flashing comlink, “Copy.”

“Ren?” Hux’s voice sounded strained, he frowned. What else could go wrong?

“I’m here General.”

“Do you have any options for getting off that godsforsaken sandball on your own?” 

Rey let out a small huff, “godsforsaken sandball?” she muttered, offended.

“We’re not in the best position down here,” he leaned against the wall, angling his head to stare at the mud-brick ceiling. This couldn’t be good.

“Yeah, unfortunately we’re not up here either.” As if to prove his point, the sound of weapon’s impact against the ship were picked up by the com. “A Resistance fleet just jumped out of hyperspace…”

He closed his eyes, these gods damned sons of bitches.

“And while I’m loath to admit this, we’re getting our ass handed to us.”

Taking a shaky breath, he closed his eyes, “Jump. Now. You’re not going to help us as a debris field.”

“What about you?”

He opened his eyes, “I might have an idea…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's safe to say these two are having a bad day.
> 
> I'm also an asshole since I could of sent an Unnamed Resistance Background Character™ to get Rey, but no, I sent someone who she would find relatable and made the whole thing harder.
> 
> Kylo isn't so much of a badass forceless. Rey... well she's just always a badass.
> 
> It might be a bit too obvious where we're going next in terms of getting them off the planet... or maybe that's just me since I've known how I'm getting them off the planet for quite awhile.
> 
> XOXOXO for all the comments and kudos.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She stared at him for a moment, “Are you joking?” He raised his eyebrows at her in an annoyed look and she shook her head, exasperated, “That ship hasn’t flown in years .”
> 
> He had led them back to the stairway carved into the sandstone before stopping to talk. Away from the maze of hallways and rooms which were potential paths for an enemy to attack. On the stair there were only two possible routes of attack to guard against, a safer spot for a brief conversation.
> 
> “Which doesn’t answer my question,” he said.
> 
> “That ship is garbage,” she snapped, mind reeling at the question and the fact that it implied he was actually thinking of trying to fly it out of here. There was a probability that trying to fly that old freighter was suicide. “There are other ships…”
> 
> “I know that garbage, and she’s fast and she’s got a lot of tricks hidden in her. If she’ll still fly,” he looked at her intently, still waiting for an answer to the question he had asked. Would that old freighter fly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter for some reason just wouldn't flow very well for me. I think I worked past it and got something decent. Hope so anyway.

She stared at him for a moment, “Are you joking?” He raised his eyebrows at her in an annoyed look and she shook her head, exasperated, “That ship hasn’t flown in  _ years _ .”

He had led them back to the stairway carved into the sandstone before stopping to talk. Away from the maze of hallways and rooms which were potential paths for an enemy to attack. On the stair there were only two possible routes of attack to guard against, a safer spot for a brief conversation.

“Which doesn’t answer my question,” he said.

“That ship is garbage,” she snapped, mind reeling at the question and the fact that it implied he was actually thinking of trying to fly it out of here. There was a probability that trying to fly that old freighter was suicide. “There are other ships…”

“I know that garbage, and she’s fast and she’s got a lot of tricks hidden in her. If she’ll still fly,” he looked at her intently, still waiting for an answer to the question he had asked. Would that old freighter fly?

“Probably,” she answered. He frowned, chin tilting down as his eyes bore into her. She bit her lip and rubbed a hand gingerly over her face, wincing at the scrapes and bruises. It took effort to resist the urge to protest. To not argue that there were far more spaceworthy ships they could steal. He wouldn't want to hear it. “The engines and fuel cells are sound. It'll get off the ground l. Whether it’ll rattle apart once it does, I can't say.”

“She won't let us down. I trust her,” he said as he turned and began to climb the stairs again at a rapid pace.

“You do realize it's a ship, right? It doesn't think,” she huffed, struggling to keep up with him.  He glanced back over his shoulder to give her a look that was hard to read, annoyance mixed with amusement, maybe? Apparently he noticed that she was straining to keep up with him because he slowed down, just slightly.

The stone steps ended on a small landing, and a rickety spiral of metal stairs climbed upward. She followed him as he went up it, one hand on the railing and the other holding his blaster. After what seemed like a small eternity, the reached the top, a closed hatch above them. He opened it just enough to peer out, looking and listening, before taking a deep breath and throwing it open, climbing the rest of the way out. She poked her head out and found him scanning the surrounding area, visibly tense. He glanced down at her and offered a hand, helping pull her up. 

She froze in a moment of shock at the level of destruction around her. 

They were where Plutt’s concession stand should have been, but there was mostly ruins and rubble. Around them Niima was just shattered, collapsed tents and shanties broken. Fires burning, billowing dark smoke into the night. A wave of guilt wracked her, these were people’s homes, people’s shops, some of them had likely lost everything they owned, perhaps even lost their only means of survival.

A hand gripped her shoulder, “Rey… we need to go.” 

His voice was a soft murmur. She shook her head, pulling away from his grasp, “Not yet.”

“Rey.” His voice was sharper. She ignored him, climbing over the rubble of Plutt’s stand, scanning the debris. “What are you doing, we need to go!” His voice was growing irritated.

She continued to ignore him, her eyes finally spotting what she was looking for, a small smile on her face. It was intact, it’s contents would be intact. Clearing away the rubble, she stood back and leveled the blaster at the lock holding the large trunk shut and with one shot blasted it to bits. 

“What!” he’d moved past irritated to exasperated. She kicked the lid of the chest open to reveal Plutt’s massive stash of portions for his trading. Hundreds of them. A small smile crossed her face as Kylo’s hands gripped her shoulders. “Seriously, what the hell are you doing?”

Her eyes met his, “Leaving something for the people who have nothing to scavenge.”

His eyes flicked to the open chest and then back to her, he might have rolled his eyes, it was hard to tell in the dark, “Can we go?”

“Yes,” she answered, already working her way over the rubble, ignoring the vague disapproval that radiated from him for taking time to do this. There were no guarantees that Plutt wouldn’t find his way there first. Or that someone would strong arm the stash and take it all, leaving nothing for those who were weaker to get. But she could hope that most people, wary of Plutt discovering them, might just grab five or six and run. 

Maybe if they had more time she could try to explain to him… but even then she wasn’t sure he could understand why she had needed to do it. He broke his eyes away from her, turning and heading in the direction of the shipyard. 

Holding her blaster firmly, she followed shortly behind him.

 

 

* * *

 

He was slightly irritated about the waste of time, but didn’t push the issue. It wasn’t like compulsion was a behavior he was unfamiliar with, even if he didn’t grasp the reasons driving her to do it.

They worked their way through the town, a growing unease at the lack of Resistance. Were they just scattered? Or regrouping somewhere? It might not have been to big of a jump to think they might try to steal a ship. 

Gods, he hated how blind and weak he was without the force.

His girl, he had to admit, carried herself better. She may have been tapping the force her whole life, but never consciously. It made her more comfortable since she was more used to operating without relying on it. They reached the edge of the shipyard and he crouched down, aware of the girl’s body heat as she followed his lead, crouching just a little behind him.

It occurred to him, almost randomly, that he’d left his mask behind. On the floor by Allen’s body. He found himself strangely not caring. Not about leaving it and losing it, not about the sloppiness of his actions, not about the clear sign as to who killed the enemy’s commander.

If anything, it was probably for the best. They’d assume him and not the girl had killed their commander. If anything happened it would probably mean they’d take their anger out on him and not her.

“You’re worried they may have set a trap?”

He glanced at her and nodded, “If they know they chased my people off, it’s not going to be a stretch to make this guess at our next move.” 

She moved closer, her chin next to his shoulder as she looked out at the open space of the shipyard. There was little to no cover. Once they entered that flat expanse they’d be in plain sight to anyone watching. The only good thing was there wasn’t too much cover for the enemy either. Just the widely scattered ships.

“They’re not going to expect us to take the garbage.”

“Oh, so you think it’s a good idea  _ now _ ,” he smirked. She was right, unless they knew what that ship actually was, but he didn’t think for a moment anyone in the Resistance had any idea that the Millennium Falcon was sitting down here.

“I think it might be one of the few ships we can get to, that doesn’t mean I think flying it is a good idea,” she sighed, “but maybe it’s our only idea.”  She pointed, he squinted where she was pointing, not seeing it for a moment. When he did he couldn’t unsee them. They had snipers on the ships near it, laying flat on the roofs, very difficult to see… until you finally saw them, then they just looked obvious. 

The Falcon was on the opposite end of the shipyard. It was pretty clear they assumed it wasn’t something they thought would even be considered as an option.

Her chin grazed his shoulder as she pointed across the way at a small dune, “I suspect they’ve got people up on that ridge too. That dune has a dip behind the crest, it would make a nice little nook to hide in, clear view of the area when they look over, and easy to get down if the want to charge.”

Realization hit him, they’d not just regrouped here. They’d been waiting for longer than that. He turned his head, her face was just inches from his. For a moment he had to resist an overwhelming urge to grab her and kiss her, “This explains why the streets and that underground compound was so empty. They figured I’d use the chaos to make a run off world, especially after we took out their fighters.” A small, smug smirk crossed his face, they’d also assumed he would leave his kitten behind. That he’d deem a rescue too much risk and save his own skin. 

They thought he just viewed her as a potential weapon to bring to the Order.  They could all go kriff themselves. 

He looked out again to study their options, taking a deep, frustrated breath. Their options sucked. Waiting for the suppressant to pass from their systems wasn’t an option. They had nowhere to hide or shelter now, and if the enemy had a fleet up there now, it was only a short matter of time before there would be hundreds of reinforcements down here. The Resistance had clearly decided they were going to make a stand here and continue with their determination to capture him.

With  _ her _ determination to capture him. Was she up there now? Was she planning on coming down? The thought of even potential of ending up contained in the same atmosphere as her made it hard to get a breath in.

“If we skirt down along the eastern edge of the yard, we can probably stay out of view and get closer…” the girl frowned and then shrugged.

“Get as close as possible and make a run,” he shook his head. “Run like kriffing hell really sucks as a plan, but unless you have a better idea, it’s all I’ve got.”

She shook her head before resting her chin lightly on his shoulder. Without any thought he tilted his head so it rested against hers. 

“So, assuming we make it on board, can you fly it?”

Her head lifted up and away from him, a startled look in her eyes, “I… yes… well... I mean… I’ve moved ships around but I’ve never left the planet.”

“I’m going to have to take gunner position. We’re going to be taking ground fire from these assholes, and if there’s a fleet up there, then there will be fighters.”

She took a shaky breath, radiating her unease, “Okay, I can do it.”

“I used to be pretty good with that gun back in the day… I mean I was ten and shooting up asteroids, but…” he winked at her and the snort of amusement that broke her unease made him smile. 

“The criminal and thief taught you?” 

“Are you teasing me?” he raised his eyebrows at her, more amused than annoyed. She did like sticking her toe across a line when she saw one, didn’t she? 

A small shrug, “Maybe.”

“Yes,” he answered her question, “he did.” Just one of the many things he learned where the beginning and end of the lesson began with ‘Don’t tell your mother.’

He looked back across the shipyard. If they were going to do this, they should do it sooner rather than later. Rubbing a hand across his eyes, he glanced down at the girl, “Are you ready for this?”

“No, but we’re never going to be ready for this. We just have to do it,” there was an edge of fear to her voice, but it was overshadowed by simple determination.

“Okay then,” he nodded. “Let’s go.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Why’s that?” he asked, peering over the edge of the dune. The dip behind the crest made this the perfect hiding place. 

“You’re kriffing bleeding, Poe.”

“What am I supposed to do, Jess? See our medic? She’s kind of unconscious at the moment.” He took a deep breath and winced. If his ribs weren’t broken they were pretty kriffing well bruised. Looking out again, he scowled, wondering if they weren’t just misjudging him again. After the initial sweep of town didn’t uncover any other bombs, he and Allen had both assumed it was a distraction for stealing a ship. If she’d made it back to him he’d have taken her with him, she was a force user, a powerful one, a potential weapon for the First Order. But neither he or Allen had felt like there was any chance he’d risk his own skin for her once she was captured.

At least, he hadn’t until that encounter by fighters and that bastard’s reaction when he realized they had caught her. It was pretty clear to him at that point that the kriff wanted her back. After surviving the bombs and then the TIE assault, he’d stumbled back to find Allen dead, the kriff’s mask lying on the ground near him, and then the girl, also gone, and Charrel unconscious on the floor.

“Do you find it strange?” Jess asked. She sounded tired. 

“What?”

“That Mya’s alive? I mean, why would he...”

He blinked, turning to look at Jess, “She. The girl did that on her own. He would have killed Charrel.” Looking out again, he sighed, “I looked the room over, she’d managed to get a screw out of the chair, get the chain undone from the armrest.” He frowned to himself as he remembered the smears of blood along the edges of the chair and the spattering of it on the floor. The screw head coated in blood. She’d ripped her fingers raw to do it. To find some way to escape. To get away from them? Maybe to get back to  _ him _ ?

It was hard not to wonder if could he have reached her, if Allen had let him be the one to talk to her? Could he have made her see that they would have been able to help her? He shook his head, he couldn’t think like that. As of now that girl was aiding and abetting his enemy. She either needed to be captured or neutralized.

A shout pulled him out of his thoughts, he and several others jumped up to look out and see the two figures running across the open expanse towards… were they kriffing kidding? That old freighter? It was so derelict they hadn’t even thought to put guards on it.

The snipers were firing, but they were on the opposite end of the yard.

He and the others hurried down the dune, sending a barrage of fire towards the two of them. But it was too late. It had been too late from the moment they saw them, they reached the ramp, the girl stumbling and Ren turning catching her before she could fall and dragging her up the ramp of the ship.

“Engines, aim for the engines!” he screamed as the ramp rose and the hatch slammed shut. There was a chance that piece of druk might actually fly and they needed to remove that chance now, before it was too late. Before the kriffer escaped them once again.

 

 

* * *

 

He stumbled backwards with the girl in his arms up the ramp, slamming his hand against the closing mechanism as they cleared the doorway, before losing his balance completely and landing sprawled out on the floor with the girl on top of him. 

She pushed herself up on her arms, looking down at him, the two of them flushed and panting as they tried to catch their breath. For a moment they didn’t seem able to break eye contact, then the ship shook as it began to take blaster fire, Rey wincing as she jumped to her feet, “I think they’re aiming for the engines and thrusters.”

Heaving himself up, he grabbed her shoulder for a brief moment, “Get us off the ground and then get the nav computer starting calculations on a jump.” She blanched slightly but he was already turning, heading for the gunner position, sliding down the ladder and climbing into the gunner chair. He couldn’t really see who he was shooting at while they were still on the ground, but he fired shots towards the direction the Resistance fighters were firing from. Hitting them was less important than scattering them before they could do enough damage to ground the ship.

The engines hummed to life and the ship lurched. He winced, “Come on girl…” he muttered, not really sure if he was addressing the girl or the ship, or maybe both of them. They gained enough air for him to actually aim at some of the sons of bitches and he blasted, sending several of them flying. 

Once again the ship lurched off balance, veering off and smashing through the archway that marked the border of Niima. He held his breath for a second before they stabilized again, gaining altitude, flight smoothing out.

Maybe he should of handled take off.

The computer flashed at him and he paled, x-wings, six of them, they must of been dispatched from the Resistance fleet. “Rey!”

“I see them!”

“Get the shields up,” he shouted, spinning the gun to be ready 

Her voice sounded annoyed, “It’s not so easy without a copilot.” A moment later his computer showed the shields activating, apparently she managed. 

The ship rattled with the first barrage of fire, he fired back, forcing the fighters to swing out of formation as they dodged .  He fired again, clipping the wing of one of the fighters and sending them spiraling into the sand, the explosion lighting up the remains of the old wrecks of the grave yard. 

They weaved as they gained altitude, the girl doing a good job of making them a hard target. They shuddered as they took another hit. He swung the gun, the targeting computer finding a lock, he pressed the trigger, grinning as the fighter lit the night sky as it exploded.

He continued suppressive fire as they breached the atmosphere. 

“Oh Gods,” Rey’s voice trembled. He understood why, surrounding Jakku was the largest Resistance fleet he’d ever seen, battle cruisers and armored transports, at least two dozen of them, along with five or six x-wing squadrons.

The larger ships were already closing in, “As soon as we clear the planet’s gravity well jump!” 

Two of the battle cruisers were clearly trying to block off their retreat. The girl didn’t hesitate, gunning the thrusters and angling them ship so the trajectory was above them. Weapons fire rocked them hard, and he swore under his breath, muttering to himself. He wouldn’t have believed the Resistance willing to make this a stand this blatant and with this much force behind it. More ships were closing in, and the ship rocked and shuddered. They were aiming to take out the thrusters.

“You’re really not kriffing around, are you, Mother?” he muttered under his breath.

The hum of the hyperdrive was one of the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard. “Come on... “ he willed at the ship. Outside the gunners well’s windows, the points of light of the stars stretched as space warped around them and they entered hyperspace.

For a moment he could just sit there, stunned.

He was alive. He was off that kriffing hellhole of a planet. 

He even had his girl.

Now they just needed to make it back to Order territory. If nothing went wrong, that shouldn’t be be an issue. They should be able to reach Starkiller in a day or two.

Jumping off the chair he hurried up the ladder, metal rungs clanging with each step. He emerged from the well, spinning to head to the cockpit, only to have a pair of arms thrown around his neck in an embrace. 

He laughed, hugging her back,“Nice flying.” 

She had buried her face into the crook of his neck and shoulder, slowly she pulled back to look him in the eye. Her hazel eyes still sharp on adrenaline and filled with a stunned joy that somehow they were still alive, “Nice shooting.” He smiled, trying to think of something else to say, but before he could her lips were on his. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE ARE OFF JAKKU!
> 
> Now for the rest of this fun shit I've got planned. Heh heh heh!
> 
> Bless you all for the kudos and comments :0)


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What she saw wasn’t what she expected. She had expected the hunger, the lust, and it was there, he couldn’t have hid it if he had wanted to. But it wasn’t the dominant emotion she saw… there was also something soft, gentle, cautious in his look as he tried to gauge her and what she really wanted. Overshadowing it all was his insecurity, surprisingly unsure of himself and seeming so different and almost out of character for him.
> 
> “Rey…” he breathed her name, his nerves vibrating across his voice. He searched her face, trying desperately to see if she wanted this, wanted him, afraid to push without knowing if he should.
> 
> It clicked suddenly that this was something he never really had to do. He was a kriffing mind reader, even without trying he had been able to pluck things from the surface of her mind. People he talked to, interacted with, been intimate with-- he would have known what they wanted and been able to adapt himself based on what he read from them. Maybe it hadn’t been something he could do his whole life, but she suspected he had been able to for most of it. And now, the force suppressant blocking his ability, he unable to read her, to just know , he was at a total loss of confidence in himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned, things get smutty ahead.

There was a moment when the fleet of ships surrounding Jakku came into view as they breached the atmosphere that she was fairly sure they were going to die. That before they would clear the gravity well and be able to make a jump they would be obliterated. But for whatever reason the Resistance fleet seemed interested still in taking them alive… well, at least taking _him_ alive. She was fairly sure she was still disposable, though from the things Allen said she was either to be taken or to be disposed of… though that might have just been that asshole kriffer’s view on her.

So instead of turning them into a smear of debris to burn up in the atmosphere or rain down into the sands of the planet below them, they had tried to cut them off and target their thrusters. Moving to disable them instead of destroy them. It was that hesitation that had given her enough time to throttle the thrusters and get far enough away from the planet to hit the hyperdrive and make the jump just in time. The stars stretched into lines and the fleet was gone, Jakku was gone, nothing left but the a nebulous blue that seemed to shimmer all around them. Slumping back into the pilot’s seat she stared out in awe at the sight for just a moment. It was something she’d seen in holos and her flight simulator, and surely something she’d experienced as a young child. After all, her family had brought her to Jakku on a ship, a ship she could assume had a hyperdrive. But she had no conscious memories of space travel. No memory of ever staring into this strange void of blue before. And she found it breathtaking.

All of the gods in the galaxy, she was alive. They were alive. Alive and free. The sheer joy at that thought was enough to keep the more frightening thoughts of what this all meant at bay. For right now she was alive and she was going to be kriffing happy she was alive.

Without another thought she jumped out of her seat and ran from the cockpit, a desperate need to share these feelings with another person. As she bounded out the door she saw him as he emerged from the gunner’s well, and without another thought threw herself into him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she embraced him.

Kylo laughed, a genuine, joyful laugh with no trace of bitterness or cruelty. His arms wrapped around her to match her embrace. “Nice flying,” he said, the happiness in his voice making him sound younger, almost boyish. For a moment she burrowed her face into the crook between his neck and shoulder, before pulling back so she could look into his eyes.

His eyes seemed brighter, the brown warmer, she stared into them, her heart still pounding with adrenaline and joy at being alive. Her lips twitched into a smile, “Nice shooting.” He smiled and his face seemed to light up, years shedding away to reveal a person she’d only gotten slight glimpses of before. Maybe a person he had once been, before whatever it was that had changed him into what he was now had taken place. Maybe the person he was when he went by another name.

On pure impulse she crashed her lips against his. For a moment he seemed too startled to respond, then he slipped his arms lower and hoisted her up off the ground so her face was even with his, leaning against the wall as he kissed her back. Their tongues slipping against one another, teeth clacking. He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, scraping his teeth gently against it for a moment. She gripped her knees against his hips to help him hold her up, heat building between her legs. As she brushed against him, hard and hot through his pants, a wave of desire was dwarfed by a sudden spike of of fear that shivered through her. Breaking away from his mouth, panting, she curled her head down to his chest. His heart thudding a frantic rhythm against her forehead.

What was she doing? What the kriff was she doing? She was winding him up, throwing meat to a predator to encourage it to consume her.

His body was warm against her and she pressed herself into him, wanting more contact even as another part of her screamed that she needed to run. Did she want to be consumed?

She licked her lips as she looked up to find his eyes..

What she saw wasn’t what she expected. She had expected the hunger, the lust, and it was there, he couldn’t have hid it if he had wanted to. But it wasn’t the dominant emotion she saw… there was also something soft, gentle, cautious in his look as he tried to gauge her and what she really wanted. Overshadowing it all was his insecurity, surprisingly unsure of himself and seeming so different and almost out of character for him.

“Rey…” he breathed her name, his nerves vibrating across his voice. He searched her face, trying desperately to see if she wanted this, wanted him, afraid to push without knowing if he should.

It clicked suddenly that this was something he never really had to do. He was a kriffing mind reader, even without trying he had been able to pluck things from the surface of her mind. People he talked to, interacted with, been intimate with-- he would have known what they wanted and been able to adapt himself based on what he read from them. Maybe it hadn’t been something he could do his whole life, but she suspected he had been able to for most of it. And now, the force suppressant blocking his ability, he unable to read her, to just _know_ , he was at a total loss of confidence in himself. 

His discomfort was strangely comforting to her as it left _this_ for her to control, to lead. Her own fear and nerves faded behind her arousal. She leaned forward and kissed him again before pulling back to look at him, “You don’t do this often.” It was a statement, not a question. He didn’t.

A tiny bit of red seemed to creep into his cheeks, “It’s been awhile. I…” He cocked his head slightly, looking into her eyes, “I don’t really like people touching me.”

She nodded. It was a feeling she completely understood, that wish to have a buffer between yourself and anyone else. After all, it was how she had lived most of her life, trying to keep herself away from others.

He licked his lips as he scanned her face, “I like _you_ touching me.”

A grin spread across her face as she kissed him again, squeezing her thighs to push herself against him, causing him to gasp. “I like you touching me too,” she said as she broke the kiss. She unwrapped her arms from his neck and undid her belt, letting it and her wraps fall to the ground before pulling off her tunic.

For a moment he just gaped at her, his eyes tracing hungrily down her body, his arms holding her up as she unwound her breast band. As she let the bandage fall to the floor, he licked his lips and swallowed before looking up at her face once more.

“I want you,” she said, answering the look he was giving her, her face flushing as she said it. Because she did, she wanted him, and she wasn’t afraid of him. Wasn’t afraid of doing _this_ with him. “I want _this_.”

That assurance seemed to be the final bit he needed. He groaned softly as he burned his face briefly between her breasts before turning his attention to them, kissing and sucking and nipping, first one, then the other, leaving them marked and wet as he kissed his way back up to nibble on her neck. She moaned, throwing her head back, one hand reaching up to thread through his hair before tracing down to tug at his clothes.

He caught on and set her down, working off the layers of black he buried himself under. She tried to help, even though she probably was impeding the process as she had trouble finding where one garment ended and another began. After minute that seemed like hours, finally he stood in just his pants and undershirt. Without any hesitation she hooked her thumbs under hem of his undershirt and pulled it up over his head, exposing his broad expanse of chest and firm stomach. She ran her fingers lightly down from his neck to his navel, revelling the way his flesh quivered under her touch, at this power she was wielding over him.

For a moment she felt heat rush to her cheeks as she looked at him, his eyes almost desperate with need. She was enjoying this, being the one in the lead, the one in control, a little too much. But she couldn’t seem to help it, a sly grin crossing her face as she grabbed onto the waistband of his pants and pulled them with her as she dropped to her knees. His cock springing free as he gaped down at her, surprise clear in his eyes.

She looked up at him as she caressed his length, causing him to shiver, his eyes closing as a soft moan left his throat. Her cheeks burned as she darted her tongue out to run it along the head of his cock, her nerves spiking as she tried to wrap her mind around what she was doing. He moaned, his head slamming back into the wall as he muttered “kriff” to the ceiling of the ship. The sound was enough to drive her confidence up, and she took him in her mouth for a moment, bobbing up and down a few times before pulling herself off. Face flushing hot from her nose to her ears as she shimmied out of her pants, tugging on his hands to bring him down to her.

He fell to his knees, kicking the pants and briefs off from where they still tangled around his ankles. For a moment they just knelt before each other, then he moved and captured her lips, tongues and teeth clashing against one another. Gently, he pushed her down, following her as she went so he wouldn’t need to break the kiss. She moaned, rocking against his length as he brushed against her. He hesitated, biting his bottom lip as he looked down into her face.

“I want you,” she said, softly, “please.”

That was all he needed, he pushed in slowly and her breath hitched as she stretched around him. He groaned above her, “Gods you’re tight,” as he stilled a moment to let her adjust. She could see the restraint and strain in his face as he fought the urge to thrust the rest of the way in all at once. Instead he gently pushed again, slowly and steadily encasing himself in her walls.

Reaching a hand up, breath still hitching as he filled her, she pushed the mop of hair out of his eyes and traced a finger down his cheek. He leaned down and kissed her as he began to move, slowly at first, then building speed. Her eyes rolled back and she dug her fingernails into his shoulders, bucking her hips to meet his thrusts. He was brushing against a spot inside her that sent her gasping and writhing under him. She wrapped her legs around him, letting him take her deeper, and as he met that spot more forcefully she felt herself approaching some undefined apex, her walls fluttering around him.

He groaned, his thrusts becoming more erratic as she came apart around him, screaming out as the world briefly whited out and there was nothing but this feeling, this pleasure, that coursed through her being. As she started to come down she was vaguely aware of him following her over, his warmth coating her in spurts before he fell onto his elbows, barely managing to keep himself from collapsing all his weight on top of her.

After a minute he rolled off of her, laying next to her on the floor as they both caught their breath. She rolled her head onto his shoulder, before squeaking in surprise as his arms suddenly enveloped her, rolling her against him and pulling her up so her head was against his chest.

She lifted her head up to glare at him as his body vibrated with silent laughter, “You're laughing at me.”

“I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at that cute ass squeak you just made when I surprised you,” his eyes glittered down at her, a grin spreading across his face.

With an indignant huff she slapped his chest before laying her head back down on him. Listening to the pounding of his heart as it slowly settled back to its normal rhythm. With a sigh she tried to sit up, but he tightened his arms around her, holding her to him. She raised her head to look at him, watching his lips twitch into a smile.

“You’re a little bit clingy,” she said, raising her eyebrows at him.

“I’m going to cling to you forever. You’re mine. I’m never letting you go.”

“Are you now? That might make it difficult to get anything done,” she shook her head. “And you might want to make sure we’re going in the direction you want us to go. You told me to jump, you didn’t tell me where to jump to.”

He curled his head down and kissed the top of her head, “Where are we going right now?”

She shrugged, “Bhavani system. I just looked in the nav computer for something uninhabited and remote and that would keep us in hyperspace for a while.”

His lips curled into a smile, “That works, once we’re there I’ll calculate the jump to First Order territory. And we have what? Twelve hours? Till we get there?”

“Twelve and a half.”

“So we can rest for awhile,” his arms pulled her tighter to him. She huffed and he rubbed up and down her arms as he closed his eyes, “Just rest.”

She sighed, resting her head on him and closing her eyes, the sound of his heart lulling her towards sleep. Finally deciding to give it to the exhaustion that was beginning to settle into her bones, just for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo... okay, got through that.
> 
> Had a lot of hemming and hawing in my head about this chapter and especially trying to gauge how Rey would behave. I really wanted to have a bit of a role flip, since Kylo has been fairly dominant throughout and Rey has been the more fearful and insecure one. So I wanted to have Kylo be more insecure here without his ability to gauge Rey through the force and Rey become the one driving this encounter. Part of me felt like Rey needed to be the one to take control, given I gave her a past history with trauma. 
> 
> As it is, I don't find writing smut easy, so add on me being insecure if my characters are in character made it a bit more difficult.
> 
> I also have a standing headcanon on Kylo being someone who really isolates himself from people. It might be me reading some of myself into the character, I have awful social anxiety and I worked hard to pretty much isolate myself from anyone back before I got on medication. I think in Kylo's case he was someone who is afraid to let people get close to him most of the time since everyone who's been close to him has either failed him or hurt him. His robes and mask are a barrier between himself and anyone else, a way to keep himself isolated from others. In most of my Kylos in different stories this headcanon pops up in some way or another.
> 
> Anyway, enough rambling, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Got some interesting twists and turns coming ahead. 
> 
> XOXOXO for all the comments and kudos.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Standing to his left and behind him stood another Kylo, this one masked, robed, lightsaber casting red light in the dark. He cocked his head at her, raising the lightsaber threateningly._
> 
> _To his right and slightly behind him was a boy, a teenager, with black hair shorn short except for one long tassel braid that hung down to his shoulder. He wore a brown robe over light clothes, sitting cross legged, as if meditating. He opened his eyes, pupils dilated in the darkness making them look almost black, but they were brown, she knew they were brown. And she knew when he smiled at her that she’d recognize the smile. This was Kylo, Kylo when he went by the name Ben._
> 
> _In front of him, looking at her with wide brown eyes was a little boy with shaggy, curly black hair. He wore clothing that she assumed was meant to be slept in, made of warm flannel, light blue in color. He held a stuffed Tooka doll in his arms, holding it tightly as if it was the only thing keeping him safe. She had no doubt who he was either. Or that his name was also Ben._
> 
> _The little boy stepped forward, looking at her curiously, hopefully, “Are you the one?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly have no idea where the dream sequence came from. I had this chapter almost all planned out in my head and sat down to write and my Rey was like "Yo, I know you weren't planning this but I'm dreaming."
> 
> And I was like "What the fuck, no, that isn't how this was supposed to go."
> 
> And she was like "it'll be all prophetic and symbolic and shit, just go with it."
> 
> Yes, sometimes my characters talk to me. I'm not sure if this is a sign I need a different medication or what.

_It was cold._

_She was in a forest. Large trees, the kind she’d only seen in holos, surrounded her. The ground and trees were covered with what she had to assume was snow, another thing she’d only read about. It might have been pretty if it hadn’t been so wet and cold._

_Shivering, she walked forward, feeling herself drawn, maybe by the force, into a clearing. In the distance a battle was raging, TIE fighters and X-Wings battling each other, but she paid it no heed. Instead she focused on the figures ahead, four of them. She drew closer and stopped, her heart starting to pound. In the center of the other three was Kylo, unmasked and just in a black undershirt and pants, on his hands and knees, held there by invisible chains that she could feel even though she couldn’t see. He didn’t seem to see her, or maybe couldn’t see her. Whatever bound him to that spot perhaps blinding him as well._

_Standing to his left and behind him stood another Kylo, this one masked, robed, lightsaber casting red light in the dark. He cocked his head at her, raising the lightsaber threateningly._

_To his right and slightly behind him was a boy, a teenager, with black hair shorn short except for one long tassel braid that hung down to his shoulder. He wore a brown robe over light clothes, sitting cross legged, as if meditating. He opened his eyes, pupils dilated in the darkness making them look almost black, but they were brown, she knew they were brown. And she knew when he smiled at her that she’d recognize the smile. This was Kylo, Kylo when he went by the name Ben._

_In front of him, looking at her with wide brown eyes was a little boy with shaggy, curly black hair. He wore clothing that she assumed was meant to be slept in, made of warm flannel, light blue in color. He held a stuffed Tooka doll in his arms, holding it tightly as if it was the only thing keeping him safe. She had no doubt who he was either. Or that his name was also Ben._

_The little boy stepped forward, looking at her curiously, hopefully, “Are you the one?”_

_She knelt down in front of him, “I… the one what?”_

_“Who will help us? Save us?”_

_“Save you?” she swallowed, a tightness in her chest. “I- I don’t know. I’m no one.”_

_The boy stared at her, puzzled, “No, you’re someone.”_

_She shook her head, “I’m just a scavenger. I don’t know how to help you.”_

_“You are someone, even if you deny it. Even if the thought that somehow you could be special terrifies you.”_

_Standing up, she turned to face the teenage boy, shaking her head, “I’m not.” He stayed sitting, his eyes studying her. Slowly she walked over, sitting in front of him. As she moved the masked Kylo tracked her movements, a constant sentry._

_Teenage Ben flicked his eyes away as she approached and looked down at his lap, “You are strong with the force, but that’s not what makes you special. It’s the potency of your light, the power of your compassion. As you grow it’s that light that you will spread, illuminating the darkness.”_

_She sighed, not really understanding, glancing over to where Kylo appeared trapped in the center, “Can I get to him?”_

_“Only if_ **he** _lets you,” Ben cautioned. “He keeps us away from him.”_

_Gazing at the masked Kylo, who looked straight back at her, his head cocked slightly. She walked towards the imprisoned Kylo and was knocked sprawling onto her back. Wincing, she started to sit up, only to have the red lightsaber blade appear before her. Looking up, the mask looked down at her coldly, saying nothing._

_“Please let me go to him, to you?” she asked, her voice shaking. His head cocked. “If I help him I help you.” The saber pulled back and she stood, reaching out to touch his chest._

_“Do not let her pass. She seeks to destroy you,” a cold voice spoke from the dark. She felt herself thrown backwards again, hitting the ground hard. From the darkness emerged a towering figure in a golden robe. His scarred and twisted face smiled down at her, “Did you think you could seduce my apprentice so easily, child? Leave now and quit meddling in things that aren’t your business.”_

_Pulling herself to her feet, she glared at the newcomer, “And if I refuse?”_

_He laughed, a cold, heartless laugh, and she felt herself driven to her knees, pain exploding in her head. “Then I will break you, child. I will shatter you. Till there’s nothing left but the dark shadow your light casts.”_

_She screamed, the pain growing to something unbearable._

_And then it stopped, she blinked up to a red saber through her tormentor’s chest. It disengaged and he fell to the ground, revealing Kylo behind him, the guardian Kylo now unmaksed, mask in his left hand and saber in his right. He dropped both, his eyes empty and numb._

_“Please,” he whispered, “before it’s too late.”_

_Struggling to her feet, she stumbled towards the imprisoned Kylo, pausing at the edge of the the invisible barrier that she could feel separating him from them. She raised a hand up to press against it and pulled back with a hiss as it stung and numbed her arm to the elbow. For a moment she hesitated, before her eyes settled on the man trapped inside. She lunged through…_

_And fell in front of him, her entire body numb and tingling, but she felt the barrier and the chains shatter around them. The ground around them trembled and shook angrily._

_A pair of large hands caressed her face, “Rey?”_

_She looked up into his eyes, whispering, “Kylo.”_

_The three figures, the boy, the teenager, the dark guardian, shimmered into points of energy and flowed inward, merging into the man before her. For a moment he just blinked, dazed, before leaning forward to kiss her. When he broke the kiss he caressed her face, “You have always been the light meant to guide me.”_

_The ground shook violently around them, trees collapsing as the ground fell away to form a chasm. He was on his feet, pulling her up, “Come on!”_

_They ran, salvation ahead, the ship, the freighter, coming into sight. Around them the planet seemed to be tearing itself apart even faster. Each violent quake threatening to knock them off their feet. But they were nearly there, their salvation that would lead them away together._

_A flash of green light appeared and they both were thrown back, away from freighter. A man stepped out of the darkness, a green lightsaber in a robotic hand. He wore a heavy grey robe, hood up, obscuring his face as he walked forward. Slowly he reached up and pushed back the hood, revealing a bearded face, sharp blue eyes peering out from grey hair that blew around his face in the wind. Something about him filled her with dread._

_The planet shook and she pulled herself up to her knees, “Please! We need to get to the ship.”_

_“I can not allow it. The force can not allow it. He is not deserving of redemption,” the man strode forward, raising the saber as he approached Kylo, still sprawled on the ground. “Blood for blood,” he growled. “The only salvation for you is death, boy.”_

_The green saber raised up to strike and she lunged forward with a scream. A blue lightsaber was in her hand, she didn’t know where it came from and didn’t care, all she cared about was that Kylo would die if she did nothing._

_She thrust the blue blade out just in time to block the man’s strike, blue and green sparks spitting off the sabers where the blades met. The blue eyes turned to regard her, seeming to see her for the first time, “You are still of use to the force, child, you have potential to be something great. He will only taint you.”_

_“He’s already tainted me,” she spat, “he leaves with me.”_

_The blue eyes seemed to go flat, cold, “Then you will die with him too.” The green blade pulled back suddenly before the man launched forward, driving her back with blow after blow that she could barely raise the blue saber up fast enough to block. She stumbled, terror filling her as she realized that this would be it, this would be her end._

_A flash of red seared through the dark and the crackling blade blocked the downward stroke of the green saber. Kylo lunged, knocking the man back with another blow. She stumbled to her feet as the planet trembled, rushing to stand next to Kylo, blue and red blades held in front of them._

_“You can’t beat me, boy. You never could,” the man snarled._

_“I’m not the one you need to beat, uncle,” Kylo said, red, blue, and green light reflecting off his eyes. He glanced at her for a split second, a smile playing on his face, “We are. Together we are stronger than you.”_

_The blue eyes flashed and the man lunged, the ground quaking violently as they raised their blades together to block--'_

 

* * *

 

She awoke with a gasp, alone on the floor, the ship shaking violently around her. Kylo’s robe was draped over her as a blanket. Sitting up, she reached over and snagged her shirt and pants, pulling them on quickly before rushing into the cockpit. Kylo was in the pilot’s seat, wearing just his pants, frantically tapping at the controls.

“What’s going on?” she asked, pushing the dream out of her mind, she had no time to dwell on it. She collapsed into the copilot’s chair.

“Some kriffing idiot put a compressor on the ignition line?”

“Plutt did,” she winced, “I told him it was a bad idea, that it puts too much stress on the hyperdrive.

“It’s putting too much stress on the hyperdrive,” he said at the exact same time.

Looking at console she let out a wary hiss, the pressures on the hyperdrive were way too high. Either it was going to damage itself and they were going to do a sudden drop out of hyperspace, or it was just going to blow. In the first option there was a chance that they’d fall out and not be in the middle of a kriffing planet or a sun or asteroid field, second option, well, there wouldn’t be much of them left.

“I’m trying to calculate an early drop point. Before we end up spread in pieces across three systems,” he said as the ship shuddered violently. “Kriff! I think we have coolant leaking.”

“We do, I’m transferring power to the auxiliary tank.”

“Come on, girl,” Kylo said, talking to the ship. She gave him a sideways look and shook her head. “I just need a few more seconds.”

The shuddered hard as he slammed his hand down and the jumped out into a wide expanse of open space. They both let out a breath.

“That compressor’s got to go,” he shook his head, “can’t risk hyperspace until we do something about it.”

She looked down at the console’s readouts and frowned, “I was going to say maybe we could bypass it, but it might not matter… I think the hyperdrive is damaged.”

He leaned back with a groan, “Of course it kriffing is. Can anything else go wrong?”

As if answering him, there was a bang and the ship shuddered, she lept to her feet, bolting out of the cockpit as he looked up at nothing and yelled, “That wasn’t meant to be taken literally!” Hurrying down the hallway, hearing his steps behind her, they stopped as they saw smoke billowing out from a floor panel.

Together they grabbed the panel and dragged it off, she dropped in immediately to analyze the damage before popping her head back up, “It’s the motivator, get me a harris wrench.” Kylo threw her the wrench and she dropped back down, trying not to let her mind think of what would happen if she didn’t get this fixed quick enough. Poisonous gas was not high on her list of ways she wanted to die.

She popped up to ask for a pilex driver, but found Kylo already holding one out to her, the urgent look in his eyes let her know he knew exactly what the consequences were if they didn’t patch this quick. “We’re going to need bonding tape, I’ll find some,” already looking away as she grabbed the driver out of his hands.

“How often did this ship break back when it was your father’s?” she asked, both amused and accusing.

He leaned down over above her, bonding tape in his hand, a small smile on his face, “I played this role before for my dad on a few occasions. Learned a lot of new and interesting vocabulary. And that motivator has always been a bitch. He always patched it and said he was going to replace it and never did.”

Snatching the bonding tape, she shook her head a moment as she finished the repair, letting out another sigh of relief. If anything else went wrong she wasn’t sure her nerves could take it. Standing up straight to look over the rim of the maintenance pit to find herself face to face with Kylo, who was lying flat on his stomach, hands draped over the edge. He pushed himself forward and kissed her, quick and rough before rising to his knees and holding his hand to her. She grabbed it and he hoisted her up out of the pit like she weighed nothing.

Raking the loose hair out of her face, she sighed, “How long were we sleeping?”

He stood, tugging her with him to her feet, “Maybe five hours? I think the suppressant is starting to weaken, but I’m still pretty blind. My stomach’s starting to settle, or at least it was till this druk started.” She followed him as he walked back towards the hall between the cockpit and the gunner’s well, grabbing his undershirt to pull on. “So we have a dead com and a dead hyperdrive, but we’re still breathing, there’s that.”

Com? Dead com? “Wait, what about the com?”

“I tried to send a message to my people when I knew we’d need to drop from hyperspace. Couldn’t transmit. Internally the system seems fine.”

She frowned, raking her hair back again, nervously pulling out the ties that most of her hair had already escaped and working to get it all back in buns again and out of her face. “Maybe the dish took a hit when we were under fire?”

He just shrugged.

“What now?” she felt exhausted already. Between that damn dream and now this she didn’t feel like she’d rested at all.

“Head towards a port and either fix the ship or find a com we can use,” he sighed, “We’re not far from Takadona, which isn’t the best option, but we should be able to get parts there. On thrusters it might take a day. At least the suppressants will be long out of our systems by then.”

“Why,” she started, walking up to him, only to find herself pulled into an embrace with a surprised squeak. He started laughing and she smacked his shoulder, “Quit laughing at me.”

“Quit making that noise,” he murmured, his face nuzzling against hers.

Pulling her head back with a huff, “Why is Takadona not a good option?”

“It’s neutral ground, but kind of a chaotic mess there. Pretty much a haven of pirates, thieves, smugglers, bounty hunters. Lots of eyes and lots of potential threats, especially if the Resistance is still looking for us.”

“Oh, great,” she said, sighing as he nuzzled up against her neck.

“I’ll keep you safe,” he said, voice quiet, lips brushing against her pulse.

She closed her eyes, “And who’s going to keep you safe while you’re keeping me safe?”

His smile pressed against her neck, “If I need to be kept safe, I’ll have you with me to do it.” Pulling his face away he looked down, eyes staring intensely into hers. She leaned forward, catching his lips in a kiss.

“What are you even doing to me?” she sighed.

He laughed, “Me to you? What are you doing to me?” She reached up to rake her fingers through his hair, right as the lights cut out and the power hummed down.

“What the kriff now?!” Kylo growled next to her, hurrying towards the cockpit. Following behind him as he stood on the copilot’s chair to peer behind them through the transparisteel of the cockpit. “Controls are overridden, and we’re in a tractor beam.”

“Who?” she asked, trying to look to see what ship had them.

“Large freighter, doesn’t look marked.” He jumped down, hurrying out and grabbing his lightsaber before turning and throwing her a blaster. Making their way towards the entrance as the ship rattled as it was set down and the tractor beam released. “Take cover but be ready in case I need support,” he said, igniting the saber and standing in front of the entrance hatch.

She ducked behind a console, blaster resting on top, waiting as the loud clunk of the door’s locking mechanism being released echoed rattled the floor. Kylo stood, eyes intense, saber blazing, watching as the door spun open.

Two figures jumped through, Kylo raised his blade defensively, the other two, a wookie and an older man with greying hair and rugged, handsome features raised their weapons. The wookie carried a bowcaster and the man a pistol blaster. After a second the three froze as they registered one another, weapons tipping down. Kylo disengaged his saber and the two lowered their weapons completely.

_“Dad?”_ Kylo’s voice, incredulous and shocked, seemed to echo slightly against the walls as she set the blaster down and slowly rose to her feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to the commenter last chapter who asked if this was coming. Of course this was coming. 
> 
> The timeline is already pretty deviated from where it was in TFA, so there will be a good amount of divergence (no rathtars, sorry!).
> 
> That unplanned dream did turn out pretty interesting, there are hints of the future in there, but it's a dream so a lot was symbolic.
> 
> Anyway, next chapter should be really awkward all around, heh!
> 
> Love you all for the kudos and comments.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han’s eyes flashed at the remark, first with shock, then anger. “Why don't you tell me what the hell is going on, Ben?”
> 
> “She had her Resistance goons set an ambush to capture me. They nearly killed me instead.” He heard a hint of hurt in his own voice and his anger flashed again at his own weakness. How did she still manage to have an emotional hold on him after all these years?
> 
> “Ben…”
> 
> “Don't call me Ben,” he snarled. “Ben is dead.”
> 
> Han snapped his mouth shut for a second before speaking, aggravation clear in his voice, “Fine, whatever you’re called now. I really don’t know what the kriff happened. But Leia… Leia would never mean to hurt you. She misses you.”
> 
> “Give me a kriffing break,” he snarled. For a brief second he was grateful that he still didn’t have access to the force. He might not have been able to control what he did with the rage that boiled up in him. “Always defending her. You just can’t help it, can you? She thinks I have information that will lead her to Skywalker, that’s why she’s after me. That and her ego which I’m sure just can’t stand me defying her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deviated with my normal pattern of alternating between my WIPs because I wanted to write this chapter. So sorry to everyone waiting on that bit of a cliffhanger I left on Bonded. I am working on the next chapter for that story next.

He hadn’t be sure of what to expect when the hatch opened, but he sure as all hell didn’t expect this. 

The man in front of him was different than the man in his memories, older, hair grey and face a little more harshly chiseled. But there was no question to who it was standing before him. Even if there had been some doubt, Chewie would have cast that aside. The wookie didn’t look much different than he had in his memories.

There was a feeling of relief as he saw recognition in both of their eyes. They recognized him too, despite the fact that the last time he saw either of them he had been barely an adolescent-- before his mother had sent him away. He disengaged his saber, though remained wary enough to keep his finger on the ignition switch just in case. The look of surprise on their faces told him they hadn’t been expecting him any more than he had been expecting them.

“ _ Dad? _ ” 

His father’s hazel eyes stared back at him, the man’s mouth hanging open. Finally he swallowed, “Ben?”

He stepped back from the hatch, letting them both pass onto the ship, before they fell into another silence as they stared at one another.

“I…” Han started, “Why… what… what are you doing here?”

With the shock beginning to tamper down he felt his anger begin to creep up in its place. Bile rose into his throat, “What? Your wife didn't bother to inform you of her plans?”

His father pulled himself up taller, eyes flashing with his own indignation in response, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You really don't know?” 

“I haven't talked to your mother in a few years,” Han snapped. He took a deep breath, voice quieting, “It's not like she wants to see me.”

“Oh, you finally became too much of an embarrassment for her too?” the snarky bitterness in his voice was probably uncalled for, but he couldn't seem to help it.

Han’s eyes flashed at the remark, first with shock, then anger. “Why don't you tell me what the hell is going on, Ben?”

“She had her Resistance goons set an ambush to capture me. They nearly killed me instead.” He heard a hint of hurt in his own voice and his anger flashed again at his own weakness. How did she still manage to have an emotional hold on him after all these years?

“Ben…”

“Don't call me Ben,” he snarled. “Ben is dead.”

Han snapped his mouth shut for a second before speaking, aggravation clear in his voice, “Fine, whatever you’re called now. I really don’t know what the kriff happened. But Leia… Leia would never mean to hurt you. She misses you.”

“Give me a kriffing break,” he snarled. For a brief second he was grateful that he still didn’t have access to the force. He might not have been able to control what he did with the rage that boiled up in him. “Always defending her. You just can’t help it, can you? She thinks I have information that will lead her to Skywalker, that’s why she’s after me. That and her ego which I’m sure just can’t stand me defying her.”

“Listen--” Han took a step forward, anger and frustration clear in his face.

“ _ Calm down, _ ” Chewie trilled and walked towards the two of them, looking ready to forcefully separate them if things continued to escalate, “ _ Both of you. _ ” He looked over at his father’s old friend, who’d practically been an uncle to him. The wookie’s eyes looked at him with such genuine affection that his lips twitched into a smile, almost against his will, his anger bleeding away. Han took a deep breath and took a step back.

Once again everything fell to a long, awkward silence. 

Finally Han spoke, looking around at the ship, “Where did you find her? We’ve been looking for years. Couldn’t believe it when she popped up on her scanners after you dropped out of hyperspace.”

He bit back a sarcastic comment about what a great job he did in losing his kriffing baby and just shrugged, “Jakku.”

“Jakku?!” Han’s horror at least matched his own feelings when he had recognized her rotting away in the sands of that drukhole. “That junkyard?”

An offended huff sounded behind him and he glanced over to see Rey, now sitting perched on the console she’d taken cover behind. Apparently she had a prime spot for spectating the glorious display of familial dysfunction they had been exhibiting. She looked so offended at Han calling Jakku a junkyard that he almost laughed.

Han turned and waved a finger at Chewie, “I told you we should have double checked the western reaches.” Glancing back to him, “Do you know who had her? Ducaine?”

“We stole it from Unkar Plutt.” They all turned to look at Rey, Han seeming to take her in for the first time. “He stole it from the Irving Boys who stole it from Ducaine.”

“Well,” Han paused, “next time you see them let them know that Han Solo stole back the Millennium Falcon.”

Rey blinked as she registered what had just been said to her, her mouth dropping open as Han turned away.

“You stole her back?” He folded his arms across his chest, “It sure seems like I stole her.”

“It sure looked like I stole her back when I overrode the controls and dragged her into my ship’s cargo bay.” Han glared. He snorted, gods forbid someone stole any of his father’s glory. 

“Help us get back to First Order territory and fine, you can take her. Try not to lose her again though.”

Han glowered, turning to walk towards the cockpit.

Rey jumped down from her perch on the console, asking excitedly, “You’re Han Solo? This is the Millennium Falcon?”

He groaned under his breath as his father turned around, walking backwards as he answered, “I used to be.” Han spun on his heels and raised his voice, “And I used to have a son called Ben too.” He shouted one more time as he vanished into the cockpit, “And if he think’s I’m going to call him ‘Kylo’ he’s kidding himself. It’s the dumbest kriffing name I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Excuse me?!” He turned to face the cockpit as Rey came next to him.

Han poked his head out, glowering, “Did you even put any thought into it? You grabbed two letters from Skywalker and two letters from Solo. What, did you take two seconds to come up with that?” 

He opened his mouth to respond as his father vanished back into the cockpit, but before he could Rey was asking, voice excited, “This is the ship that made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs?”

“Twelve!” he and Han corrected at the same time.

A sharp tug on his arm made him look down to find Rey staring up at him. She crossed her arms, the tiniest hint of anger in her eyes, “Your father’s Han Solo?”

Groaning he looked up at the ceiling. Her hand squeezed around his arm. “Your father’s  _ Han Solo _ ?!” she pushed. 

“Yes.” He grabbed her, catching her off guard and grinning as she made the little squeak of surprise that she did whenever he startled her. She let out an annoyed huff as he hugged her. “My father is Han Solo.”

She pulled back the tiny bit of room his arms let her, “You said your father was a criminal and a thief.”

“Yeah, and I said Han Solo was a criminal and a thief. I was pretty kriffing consistent there.”

A soft trill caught his attention and Chewie walked over. He released his girl and turned to the wookie, who embraced him in a firm hug. He laughed, “Hi Chewie.” He nodded at Rey, “Rey, Chewbacca, Chewbacca, Rey.”

“HEY!” Han stormed out of the cockpit. “Some moof milker put a compressor on the--”

“Ignition line,” he finished, cutting Han off. He and Rey spoke at the same time, “We  _ know. _ ”

“Unkar Plutt put it on…” she paused and shrugged. “He’s an idiot.”

“Yeah, it puts too much stress--”

“--on the hyperdrive,” the three of them finished at the same time.

“We  _ know _ ,” Rey said.

“I barely calculated a early drop out before we ended up a smear of debris across three systems,” he added. “And it kriffing fried the hyperdrive. We were planning to limp to Takadona to repair it.”

Chewie let out an amused growl. Han glared at him, growling, “Oh just yuk it up furball.”

“What?” he glanced at Chewie, curiously.

“ _ We were doing the same. _ ”

Han sighed, “We got into a little bit of a scuffle. Our hyperdrive got damaged. So we were heading to Takadona for repairs.”

“A  _ scuffle _ ?” he rolled his eyes. “What kind of trouble are you in.”

“We’re not in any trouble,” Han scoffed. 

He thought about pushing it, then gave up on that. There didn’t seem to be much to gain, “How’s your ship’s com? The Falcon’s got damaged. If I can get a message to the Order then they’ll be able to send a ship to pick us up on Takadona. And then you can pretend you stole the Falcon back and not that I gave it back to you.”

Han snorted before shifting uncomfortably, “It’s… well it’s not really safe to use our com.”

Closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed, “But you’re not in any trouble?”

“So I might have some investors a little pissed at me right now.”

“ _ Investors. _ ”

“I had job to bring three rathtars to King Prana,” Han began.

“Rathtars?” His mind reeled briefly at the insanity. “Are you out of your kriffing mind?”

“Rathtars?” Rey asked, sounding puzzled.

“I’ll have you know it was a successful job, Prana got his rathtars and was quite happy. Whether or not he gets eaten by them now his problem.” 

“What’s a rathtar?” Rey interjected, glancing between him and Han.

Han waved a hand, “They’re big and dangerous.”

“Really kriffing dangerous,” he added, glancing down at her annoyed expression, his lips twitching. She was kriffing adorable when she was annoyed. “So if the job was successful, why are your  _ investors _ shooting out your hyperdrive?”

“Wrangling rathtars isn’t exactly easy, okay? I needed additional funds. So I might of borrowed from two sources.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose again, how the hell was he the get of this much of a kriff up?

“I borrowed 50,000 from Guavian Death Gang and 50,000 from Kanjiklub. And they apparently found out about each other and are a little pissed. The lit into us pretty good coming back from delivering the rathtars to Prana. Managed to out maneuver them, but they’ll be scanning for our com frequency.” Han sighed, “I’ve got an old friend on Takadona, I can talk her into letting you use her com. Or we’ll repair the Falcon’s com if she doesn’t. Okay?”

“Wonderful, so I can be a sitting duck hoping they get there before some bounty hunter takes a shot at me or the Resistance shows up.”

“Listen…  _ man formerly known as Ben _ , you were limping with a dead com and dead hyperdrive already,” Han snapped, “not like I’m making things worse for you.”

He sighed, “Fine. Whatever.” Walking over to sit down on a bench and lean onto the dejarik table, his face in his hand. There was a headache brewing behind his eyes. There was a movement of air next to him and he looked up at Rey, who was looking down at him, a small frown on her face.

His lips twitched into a smile, she was so damned cute when she was mad. Though pretty much everything she did seemed cute to him right now. Gods, how did this girl do this to him? 

Chewie had exited back into the cargo bay, his father was somewhere else on the ship, examining his baby for damage or other ill advised modifications. It was relief to be alone with Rey again, at least for now.

She took in his amused expression and her frown deepened.

“Are you mad at me, kitten?” he smirked as her frown turned into a scowl.

To his surprise she moved forward and straddled his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck as she glared into his amused face, “I’m no kitten.”

“Hmmmmm,” he dipped his head down so his nose brushed against hers, “is that so?”

“It is,” she leaned in and planted a quick kiss on his lips. 

“I think you’re always going to be my kitten.”

She let out an annoyed huff and slapped his shoulder once before resting her head against him, “Are you going to explain what the rest of all that was about?”

He tensed, “Rest of what?”

Pulling back again, she frowned at him in annoyance, “About your mother being the one who was after you? It was confusing.”

Rolling his head back, he stared at the ceiling and sighed, “My mother is Leia Organa. She’s a general in the Resistance. And I’m quite sure she was the driving force behind the Resistance’s mission on Jakku.”

He looked back into those hazel eyes, not sure how to read the expression there. She spoke quietly, “Allen said something about the only reason he wasn’t having a team torture me was because he knew Organa would want to try to show me the light.”

A barking laugh left his throat, “Yeah, she would try. And trust me, from the thirteen years of experience with her before she shoved me off to my uncle, she’s a manipulative bitch. She would have mind kriffed you good.”

Rey shivered suddenly in his arms, he frowned, rubbing his hand down her back, “Are you okay?”

“Nothing… just remembered part of a dream-- or maybe a nightmare, I don’t know.” She shook her head, “She sent you to your uncle?”

For a moment he said nothing, looking blankly past his girl. He felt a numbness bleed over his emotions, “Yeah, for training. And to get me far enough away that she didn’t have to deal with me anymore.”

She shifted on his lap. Her hands rubbed his shoulders, gently, trying to sooth him. The side of his mouth quirked into a smile and dipped his head over to kiss her hand. Rocking back, she looked into his eyes, “Training?”

He closed his eyes, “Force training.” Opening his eyes and taking a deep breath, he looked intently at Rey, “My uncle is Luke Skywalker. And he’s a kriffing lunatic.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few things-
> 
> Some people already picked up on it, but in this bit of an AU, Kylo has a much better relationship with his father than his mother. I kinda wanted to kick the Kylo is a momma's boy headcanon in this one. That said he's pretty bitter towards both of them.
> 
> Plus Leia is usually a bit of a saint, and while I like that, I kinda feel like in this story she's gonna have to have a bit of the Skywalker in her expressing itself.
> 
> Timeline deviation, obviously, since they were on Jakku longer than Finn was in the movie. So Han didn't stop because they picked up the Falcon while he was delivering the Rathtars, so kanjiklub and guavian death gang didn't meet up with him until after he made the delivery. And since he and Chewie weren't distracted they never got boarded but did get fired upon. Han pulled a few tricks and lost them, but they were left limping... and low and behold duex ex machina, Rey and Kylo and the Falcon come dropping out of hyperspace right near them.
> 
> XOXO for all the comments and kudos. Glad everyone seems to be enjoying the story.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’re not done yet, Dameron, don’t look so defeated,” Organa’s voice was cool, sharp. He looked up to meet those shrewd brown eyes. “They haven’t made it back to First Order territory yet. Fulcrum was able to confirm that the Order is still looking for them and the-freighter-they escaped on.”
> 
> His eyes must of gave away how startled he was by this revelation, because a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips, “I’ve got the entire network looking, and I posted a bounty for his capture alive and unharmed. If it’s possible to find them first we will. We’re bringing my boy home, and he’s going to help me bring my brother home, willingly or unwillingly.”
> 
> The chair creaked as he leaned back, “The girl?”
> 
> “Ben’s the primary goal. But if we can get both I want her.” She paused again, “Maybe she’s just a potential tool to him, but I don’t know. If it’s something more than that, she’ll be useful to use as leverage. And if she can be reasoned with… she may be willing to see what side she should be on.”
> 
> “Make her our weapon?”
> 
> Organa shrugged, “I can help her with her control at least. If we find Luke he may be willing to teach her. Either way, a powerful force sensitive is useful to have around.”

Resistance transports didn’t have much in the way of extra room.

It wasn’t a surprise to him, then, when he found the makeshift command office had probably once been a utility closet. Small, cramped, just room for the desk, overloaded with stacks of datapads, holos, and even stacks of flimsi, and a few chairs. The woman didn’t look up from the datapad in front of her as he collapsed into the chair opposite her.

The scent of tea, fragrant and pungent, filled the tiny room.

“Have you seen a medic yet, Dameron?” she asked, setting the datapad down. As she looked up she picked up her mug, holding it between both of her hands and gazing over it at him.

“No, ma’am,” he answered. “I felt being debriefed was more important.”

“Then I’m sure directly after this meeting you’re going to go get yourself treated?” she raised her eyebrows at him as she sipped her tea.

He squirmed, “Well, I…”

“Dameron,” she said, sharply, cutting him off, “don’t make me make this an order.”

“Yes ma’am, I’ll got see the medic immediately after this meeting,” he answered, managing to keep himself from sighing. The last thing he wanted was to be pulled from active and forced to lie on a med cot for a week, but he knew Organa well enough to know she wasn’t about to relent.

“Good.” She picked up a thermos and refilled her mug before holding the thermos up at him, “Would you like some tea? I have a spare mug in here somewhere.”

He smiled, it made his battered face hurt but it couldn’t be helped, “No thank you, General.”

She nodded, brown eyes squinting at him. It amazed him how much class she seemed to carry herself with, even here, in a ramshackle transport, in a makeshift office, everything about her demanded respect. Sighing, she set her cup down, looking past him at the wall, “I read the report, I guess I don’t have to tell you this entire thing was a clusterkriff.”

“No ma’am, I’m pretty well aware of that.”

“Starting with the ambush. He was sedated and still managed to escape, and we took significant losses.”

He nodded, “We hit him with enough to drop a rancor, General. I don’t know how he fought through it.”

She pursed her lips, “Tell me about this girl with him.”

Frowning, he fidgeted in his seat, “Honestly we don’t know a lot. It seems like she was just another Jakku scavenger. No one knew she had the force, from what we can gather. I don’t think she even knew.”

Her hand raised, holding up the datapad, “Is she really as strong as this report makes out?”

“She threw like eleven of us with a force burst, then shielded herself from blaster fire sending the bolts ricocheting everywhere,” Organa pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes as he spoke. “I don’t know much about force users, but Allen seemed shocked by her. And he didn’t think she actually had control, it was just a panic reaction.”

A sigh escaped her lips, “Allen. And we think Ben killed Allen. While force suppressed.”

“His mask was there,” he answered, quietly, not sure what else to say.

“Going back for this girl,” she tapped her fingers thoughtfully. “Powerful or not it seems like an unreasonable risk for him to take.”

“We… weren’t expecting that. Allen and I both agreed he was acting on the opportunity with her, trying to take her with him once he figured out what she was. But we both thought he wouldn’t be taking excessive risk to keep her.”

“She was suppressed too when she escaped.”

“Yes, ma’am. From what I gathered from the scene and what Mya’s said now that she’s awake, girl got an arm free, attacked while Mya was trying to sedate her, forced her to unlock the remaining restraint and then knocked her out with the sedatives.”

“Who thought it was a good idea to send Mya in there alone?” Organa’s voice grew slightly agitated, “She’s a medic, and barely more than a trainee.”

“Allen, I assume. Most of the rest of the fighters were out dealing with the whole fighting part of things. And Mya was our only medic left at that point.” She scowled at him and he shrugged, “This girl, she’s just a scared kid, really. I don’t think you can fault her for trying to get away.”

Organa frowned, “She chose to knock Mya out instead of kill her. That speaks more to me about who she is than anything else.”

He nodded, it sure as hell did. Though how long before that bastard was able to corrupt her? All the failures were building up to a back breaking burden heaped up on him.

“We’re not done yet, Dameron, don’t look so defeated,” Organa’s voice was cool, sharp. He looked up to meet those shrewd brown eyes. “They haven’t made it back to First Order territory yet. Fulcrum was able to confirm that the Order is still looking for them and the… freighter… they escaped on.”

His eyes must of gave away how startled he was by this revelation, because a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips, “I’ve got the entire network looking, and I posted a bounty for his capture alive and unharmed. If it’s possible to find them first we will. We’re bringing my boy home, and he’s going to help me bring my brother home, willingly or unwillingly.”

The chair creaked as he leaned back, “The girl?”

“Ben’s the primary goal. But if we can get both I want her too.” She paused again, “Maybe she’s just a potential tool to him, but I don’t know. If it’s something more than that, she’ll be useful to use as leverage. And if she can be reasoned with… she may be willing to see what side she should be on.”

“Make her our weapon?”

Organa shrugged, “I can help her with her control at least. If we find Luke he may be willing to teach her. Either way, a powerful force sensitive is useful to have around.”

He sat up straight, “Anything else then, ma’am?”

A frown crossed her face, “Just one more question.”

“Yes?” he shifted nervously at her deepening stare.

She let out an exasperated huff, “How the hell did no one realize the _Millennium Falcon_ was docked in that shipyard?”

 

* * *

 

“ _Luke Skywalker_? He’s really not a myth?!”

Rey’s eyes were wide and a little excited. He sighed, “He exists, if that’s what you mean. Some of the stories are true. Don’t put too much weight on them, whoever the he once was is long gone.”

She frowned at him, “I don’t understand?”

A wave of aggravation hit him. Why was it that everyone clung to the stories? What someone did thirty years ago did not change who they had become. It didn’t somehow make the fact that the man in question had been in a dark spiral towards insanity for at least the last fifteen years. “Rey,” he started, before meeting her eyes. His voice trailed off and the tension left his body, just feeling lost in her eyes.

Kriff, what did this girl do to him?

He shook his head, as she squinted at him, puzzled. His head a little clearer he tried again, “Rey, I spent ten years of my life under that man’s heel. He’s crazy. I’m not exaggerating. I’m not joking. He’s a kriffing fanatic that justifies his actions by saying anything he does is through the will of the force.”

“What happened to him?” she rocked back so she was sitting more on his knees than his thighs.

Another sigh escaped him and he slipped his hands down around the small of her back, biting his bottom lip as he tried to decide how to answer that question. “There was… a revolt… I guess that would be the best term for it. Maybe a third of us… of his students, decided we couldn’t let things continue. He was too unstable, getting too dangerous, both to his students and to outsiders.” He paused, closing his eyes. There had been more of them that knew, that felt like it should stop, but were too much of kriffing cowards to join them and try to do something about it. “It didn’t end well. Most of us were killed in the fighting, a handful were taken alive but were executed for their treason, seven escaped.”

She frowned and furrowed her forehead in a concerned way, the combination of the two causing her nose to crinkle in the cutest way, “You were one of the ones that escaped?”

He nodded, “Four ran, decided to vanish into the Outer Rim. As far as I know they did so successfully.” His eyes hardened as he looked up, “The rest of us… well, I decided we weren’t done yet, and Cira and Skye agreed. That’s when I went to the First Order, to Snoke. And he offered, for my allegiance, to take me as his apprentice and to put his Knights of Ren at my disposal.”

A small cold smile crossed his face, “And we used them to finish what we started.”

She shifted on his lap, and he thought he could vaguely sense her discomfort at his words. He hoped he was right and it was a sign the kriffing suppressant was wearing off. Squeezing his hands once against her back firmly, he looked into her eyes, “I told you, kitten, you don’t show your enemies mercy. We burned it down, we killed them all. Except Skywalker, he ran like a kriffing coward. He's been in hiding ever since.”

Her eyes narrowed and she frowned, her disagreement and disapproval silent but clear.

He shook his head, she’d learn, eventually. Hopefully he’d be there to make sure she got through that lesson unscathed. Letting go of her waist, he traced his fingertips up along her spine, smirking when she wiggled under his touch. His kitten was ticklish.

“Stop it,” she smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

“Stop what?” he repeated the motion tracing down. She shivered again under his touch before leaning forward and grabbing a hunk of his shirt at the collar aggressively in her fist, twisting it and pulling him towards her. Their lips crashed together into a kiss that was slow but hungry, her savoring him as much as he was savoring her.

The shirt slipped out of her hands as she broke away, sitting back up to look at him, “You can be a jerk sometimes, Kylo.”

He raised his eyebrows, a small smile on his face, as he wrapped his hands around her ass and pulled her sharply against him, “You’re just figuring that out now?”

“No, just informing you of it now,” she replied.

“Oh, I’m aware,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss her again. She moaned slightly into his mouth, rocking her hips against him just faintly.

A gruff cough to their left got their attention.

Han stood, eyebrows raised, arms crossed, “You two need a room?”

Rey blushed a startling color of red as she rolled off of his thighs and sat on the bench next to him. He shot his father an annoyed look, one that just met by a returned smirk. “You haven’t introduced me to your little friend. What’s your name, kid?”

“I’m Rey,” she mumbled. He rolled his eyes slightly at the shyness-- her reverence for ‘Han Solo’ the legend…

“So what’s your part in all of this?”

She frowned, “I… um… I’m just a scavenger.”

Before Han could fish for more information he cut in,“She’s force sensitive. I found her on Jakku. She’s coming back with me to the First Order.”

He could feel her eyes on him as she shifted uncomfortably next to him, but he kept his own locked onto his father’s, challenging the man to even think about pushing this line of questioning any further. Han, for his part, met the stare with a steely one of his own, his arms crossed in front of him.

Rey got up, muttered something about the refresher before darting away. Han broke the staring contest to watcher her go.

“Force sensitive?” he asked, looking back with raised eyebrows.

“Yes.”

“And you just ‘found her’ while you were on Jakku?”

“Yes.” He snorted slightly, conditions around the finding of the girl might be a little unpleasant, but he still did find her.

“And you’re taking her back to the First Order.”

His eyes narrowed slightly at the switch in wording from what he originally said, “She’s coming back with me, yes.”

For a second there was a dead silence, “Does she have a choice about that?”

Both his fists clenched and he gritted his teeth, “She’s coming with me willingly.”

“You’re saying if she changed her mind--”

“She’s not changing her kriffing mind,” he snapped.

“Just trying to figure out if she’s your prisoner or your girlfriend, B--” Han cut himself off before he said the name and then rolled his eyes, “ _man formerly known as Ben._ ”

He shifted in his seat, breaking eye contact to study his hands, “How about you stay out of things that aren’t your business?”

“Prisoner and not girlfriend then?”

His eyes flashed dangerously as he snapped his gaze back to meet Han’s eyes, “She’s both. I guess. It doesn’t matter. She’s with me of her own will right now.”

“Doesn’t mean much if she can’t change her mind.”

He didn’t bother to reply. Rey wasn’t anyone’s business but his own.

Han sighed, “We’ll leave my freighter in orbit and take the Falcon down when we get to Takadona. She’ll be easier to find a good spot to land.”

“Fine.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking away. Takadona was necessary, but there was no denying the danger there. But the suppressant would be out of his system by then, he reasoned against the rising anxiety, he’d be more than strong enough to handle any of the riffraff at a place like that. More than strong enough to keep him and his girl safe.

 

* * *

 

She glanced over her shoulder as someone walked into the cockpit. Given the tension in the conversation that had been taking place between Kylo and Han, and the fact that said conversation was touching some things about her current situation she didn’t exactly care to think about, she’d opted to slip in here after she finished in the ‘fresher. She sat cross legged in the copilot’s chair, where she’d been looking at the old ship with a newfound reverence knowing what this hunk of junk really was.

Han Solo’s gaze fell on her before he slipped into the pilot’s seat, “So, Rey-- it’s Rey, right?” She said nothing, just nodded, and the man gave her a small, charming smile, “I hope Ben-- or formerly Ben, whatever-- and I didn’t scare you away there?”

Crossing her arms, she looked at the man, managing to stay stoic despite the part of her that still wanted to squeal in disbelief that she was currently sitting next to Han kriffing Solo. Because the more grounded part of her couldn’t help but notice the manipulative edge to the man’s charm. “There’s some tension between the two of you.”

“You could say that,” he answered, looking down and shaking his head as he saw the compressor switch. “A compressor on the ignition line… seriously, what kind of idiot…” he muttered to himself. A small smile twitched across her face.

“Plutt installed a fuel pump too. I’m guessing you’ll want to know about that.”

Han’s shoulders slumped slightly as he shook his head, “I really _hate_ that guy.”

That brought out a full smile. It was hard not to since she was in complete agreement with his statement. Han flicked his eyes at her and then smiled back.

“So, what’s your story, kid?”

She fell quiet, a little cautious, “I don’t have much of one.” He raised his eyebrows at her and she shook her head, “Really, I mean, I’m no one. I’m just a scavenger.”

“But a force sensitive scavenger?” he asked.

Her face flushed, “I didn’t know… not till after I met Kylo.”

“ _Kylo_ …” Han muttered in disgust. “So he just stumbled on you with everything else that was going on?”

She looked down, any trace of a smile falling off her face, “It’s complicated.”

“Oh. Complicated,” he rolled his eyes slightly.

“He isn’t forcing me to come with him. Or forcing anything else.” Han looked at her again and she looked down into her lap, “I didn’t have a lot of choice about leaving Jakku, the Resistance and the people who allied with them down there didn’t leave me much of a choice.”

“But you want to go with him? To the First Order?” there was an edge to his voice. It was clear he didn’t like the idea of her going to the First Order. She wasn’t sure if she liked the idea either...

She shrugged, “Where else would I go?”

There was a quiet pause and he glanced at her sideways, “You seem to handle yourself well and know your way around a ship. Chewie and I’ve been thinking about getting some help, someone who can keep up with us.”

Her head turned, startled, “Are you offering me a job?!”

“Wouldn’t pay much, can’t promise I’d be nice to you.”

Raising her eyebrows, “You’re offering me a job!”

Han looked away, “I’m thinking about it…” He glanced back quickly, eyebrows up, trying to judge her expression.

She sighed, “Are you only offering because you’re trying to find out if I could take it if I wanted to?”

He harrumphed and folded his arms, “No. I’m offering you one cause I think Chewie likes you. And maybe I am worried about what you might be being forced to give in to because you don’t have other options.”

Shaking her head, “I’m not leaving him. He came back for me on Jakku when he could have easily have saved himself and left me.” She paused, before addressing the point causing her the most discomfort with her situation, “What would happen if I made a different choice? I don’t know. Maybe I don’t want to know.”

She could feel Han’s eyes studying her and she looked up to meet them. He nodded at her slowly, before getting up, “If you do change your mind, me and Chewie have friends down on Takadona.” He winked at her and squeezed her shoulder as he left.

Her eyes followed him as he left and she smiled. There was kindness and sincerity in his offer, but she knew her decision had already been made. Maybe it was dangerous and stupid, but she trusted Kylo and she felt… well… her feelings were kind of a confused tangled mess about him. She was only just starting to get her head around how much she seemed to want him.

And she was pretty damn sure he wanted her just as badly.

Stretching her legs out for a moment she brought them and hugged around her knees, leaning forward to rest her head. For now Kylo seemed like the only thing solid left in her life right now, and she wasn’t about to leave him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to create a sympathetic but still dark version of the "what the hell happened when Ben turned on Luke" story is tricky. I was trying to walk that line here.
> 
> I also hope the "formerly Ben" name from Han wasn't getting too old of a joke. Han just keeps feeling agitated any time he starts to say Ben and has to cut himself off.
> 
> Leia recognized the Falcon during Kylo and Rey's escape from the resistance fleet. She's still the only one at this point who realized what ship they were actually on. 
> 
> Han really is trying to walk a careful line to make sure Rey is not being held against her will, or making a choice based on a lack of choices. The idea that this girl is being dragged to the First Order (Han is pretty much out of the conflict at this point in his life, but his ties to the Resistance certainly make him lean towards their point of view) is bothering him a lot.
> 
> Plus I needed a reason for him to offer Rey a job so I could create a little alternate version of that scene from TFA.
> 
> XOXOXO for the kudos and comments.  
> Also I just figured out how to look at statistics and see the amount of subscriptions. This fic has over a hundred people that want an email alert when I update. I'm floored. I love you all.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looked around, his father had brought him here numerous times as a kid. Another of the secrets between the two of them since his mother would have been horrified that her ten year old was being taken into a cantina, much less a cantina full of pirates and smugglers.
> 
> Rey fell in step behind the two of them as they approached the castle, Han glancing over his shoulder to talk to her, “So Maz has run this place for a thousand years, she’s a bit of an acquired taste…”
> 
> He snorted, ignoring his father’s glare as the man continued, “Just both of you let me do the talking…” Han looked at Rey, “And don’t stare…”
> 
> Her brow furrowed, “At what?”
> 
> “Any of it,” he and Han spoke at the same time, voices blending together as they stepped up to the door.
> 
> “Hey, dad?”
> 
> Han glanced at him, clearly surprised at him calling him dad. He hadn’t since the initial surprised meeting on the Falcon.
> 
> He winked, a smile playing across his lips as the doors opened up to the music and chaos of the cantina, echoing the words his father had always said when he brought him to this place as a boy, “ _Don’t tell mom._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were a few things I needed to sort out in my head about how things were going to go down on Takadona, sorry about the delay in the update.

“I like that girl.”

He rolled his eyes up from where he’d been concentrating on moving a small metal screw across the table. It was moving, with difficulty, but moving. The kriffing suppressants were starting to wear off. Watching his father approach he groaned internally. He’d thought this topic was closed.

“She’s sharp and she’s got some spunk.”

Leaning back he crossed his arms, waiting to see if Han had a point or was digging for more information in the guise of conversation.

“And you’re going to take that naive little thing and feed her to the monsters at the First Order?”

He blew a contemptuous snort out of his nose, “ _I_ am one of those monsters at the First Order.”

“No, they just got you thinking you are,” Han glowered at him. “I doubted it, you know? Your mom, she always believed there was something left in you worth saving. I thought-- after... I just--” Han’s mouth snapped shut a moment before he seemed to get himself together, “I thought my boy was gone, _Ben._ ”

His teeth ground together, his hands gripping the edge of the table, “Oh no, you weren’t wrong.”

“I was, your mother knew--”

Without any warning his hands slammed down on the table, force of the vibrations sending the screw he’d been working with bouncing up in the air flying. In the dead silence that fell between them, the series of pings as it bounced along the floor seemed ridiculously loud. “Don’t mention her to me. She nearly got me killed. All find _him_.”

Han just set his jaw, his own anger rising, “If it wasn’t for the First Order she wouldn’t be needing _his_ help. Luke could--”

“He’s dead. Don’t you realize that? Are you all just too caught up in the memory?”

“What are you going on about?”

“It’s not like it was hidden, what was happening. You think what happened in the Zosma system was the work of a sane or rational person? Skoth? Jurilea? You don’t think there’s a kriffing pattern there?”

Things were quiet a moment, “I don’t know much other than something happened.”

“ _Something_ happened?”

“I know about the assassination. And Jurilea… everyone knows things there got bloody. It isn’t like the greater galaxy knew what happened behind the scenes.”

He snorted, running a hand through his hair, “Oh, I was there, I know what happened.” Han stared at him quietly, “What happened is that they wouldn’t bend to Luke’s will. So he took actions that led each one of those planets into chaos and civil war. But don’t worry, the _force_ willed it.”

Han paused a moment before he spoke again, “The First Order isn’t exactly innocent in galactic politics either.”

“At least we don’t leave things burning and run. Of course I shouldn’t be surprised _she_ doesn’t seem to mind what he’s done. It’s how the Resistance plays too. What do you want to bet they picked up and fled Jakku leaving their ‘allies’ with nothing but destruction and ruin?”

“No, the First Order takes over and kills anyone who tries to fight for their freedom.”

“Bloodshed happens. Chaos for those who are left doesn’t need to.”

“You’re talking about subjugation under the guise of order,” Han said, gruffly.

He shrugged, then they wouldn’t agree. Not like he expected them to. “There’s little difference between domination and peace, once the dust settles.”

Han shook his head with a look of disgust. Opening his mouth to say something but then snapping it shut when he noticed Rey looking in from the hallway. He glanced at her, “Hey again, kid.”

She nodded, “Are you two _still_ fighting?”

“Just talking,” he said, quickly, before his father could inject anything unwanted.

“Right, just talking,” Han agreed, his jaw still clenched.

Her eyes flitted between him and Han before rolling once. Han muttered something before exiting the Falcon into his freighter’s cargo bay. He let out a sigh of relief as she walked over and sat on the bench next to him, bringing her legs up so she was hugging her knees. He could feel, faintly, the emotion flitting and spitting behind her mask of calmness. Insecurity, fear, and uncertainty, but along with those was grief. His stomach churned a moment as he realized she was mourning the loss of her hope that her family would come back and find her. A family that she couldn’t see never deserved to have her.

Slipping an arm around her back, slow enough as to not surprise her, he squeezed her to his side. “Everything’s going to be all right.” She looked at him and he leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead. “It will,” he said, softly. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

She nodded, once, before leaning her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes. His own emotions spitting and sparking. A growing dread and uncertainty of returning, of having his own will be subjected to Snoke’s.

Because he wasn’t sure what was going to happen if his master tried to take his girl away from him.

 

* * *

 

It took about sixteen hours to get to Takadona. Sixteen uneventful, albeit boring and sometimes awkward, hours. He had rested, meditated, had another coarse conversation with his father, had a slightly less coarse but still awkward conversation with Chewie, napped, and attempted to meditate and gave up after Rey fell asleep with her head in his lap which made it really hard for him to focus.

Rey had left the Falcon and explored Han’s freighter at least once. She’d come back with Chewie, chatting with him. The girl was somehow fluent in kriffing wookie, and he found himself hoping that Chewie had refrained from telling any “baby Ben” stories to his girl.

He stood behind the pilot’s chair as his father flew the Falcon down to the surface, watching the endless forests below them.

An awed voice spoke, “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy.”

Both he and Han turned their heads to look at Rey, where she stood behind Chewie as she stared wide eyed out the viewports of the cockpit. A small crook of a smile graced Han’s face before he shrugged and went back to paying attention flying. He found himself unable to look away from the amazement on his girl’s face. Her entire life had been on that sandball, of course something as ordinary as a forested world would be stunning to her.

For the moment he wanted nothing more than to be able to take her and show her every kind of planet there was. Let her stare in awe at every wonder of the galaxy. Take her anywhere and everywhere until that hellhole she lived on was a distant memory.

Han set the Falcon down next to the lake Maz’s castle was built next to. Chewie opened the hatch and exited the ship, Rey practically on his heels as she bounded down the ramp. He paused and followed his father to a storage locker.

“You need one of these?” Han said, holding up a blaster rifle.

He pulled his saber out and ignited it, “I’m set,” he said before thumbing it off.

“I still say those things are no replacement for a good blaster,” Han scoffed before pulling a smaller pistol blaster out, “I’m giving the girl this.” The man glanced over his shoulder as if he expected protest.

“She could use one,” he agreed turning on his heels and exiting the ship. Rey stood off near the lake, eyes closed, breathing in deep the forest air. He smiled before turning away as Han brushed past him to go talk to her, scanning the immediate area for any potential threats.

Han walked over, “Chewie’s going to stay and see if he can repair the the dish to get the Falcon’s com working again.”

“You don’t think your _friend_ is going to let me use her com, do you?” he really didn’t need to ask, he’d guessed who it was, the only person it could be, really.

“I might be able to talk her into it,” Han answered, gruffly, before nodding at the Falcon, “In case I can’t, getting a jump on repairs us a good idea.”

He looked around, his father had brought him here numerous times as a kid. Another of the secrets between the two of them since his mother would have been horrified that her ten year old was being taken into a cantina, much less a cantina full of pirates and smugglers.

Rey fell in step behind the two of them as they approached the castle, Han glancing over his shoulder to talk to her, “So Maz has run this place for a thousand years, she’s a bit of an acquired taste…”

He snorted, ignoring his father’s glare as the man continued, “Just both of you let me do the talking…” Han looked at Rey, “And don’t stare…”

Her brow furrowed, “At what?”

“Any of it,” he and Han spoke at the same time, voices blending together as they stepped up to the door.

“Hey, dad?”

Han glanced at him, clearly surprised at him calling him dad. He hadn’t since the initial surprised meeting on the Falcon.

He winked, a smile playing across his lips as the doors opened up to the music and chaos of the cantina, echoing the words his father had always said when he brought him to this place as a boy, “ _Don’t tell mom._ ”

 

* * *

 

She was a bit overwhelmed.

She found herself following as close to Kylo as possible, wide eyes taking in the vast slew of people who filled the giant room. Had she ever even seen this many people together in one place? She didn’t think so.

“HAN SOLO!” a voice shouted, the entire room falling suddenly silent.

Han stopped, muttering “Oh boy…” before raising a hand and waving, “Hi, Maz!” She peered around Kylo to see a tiny alien wearing odd goggles that magnified her eyes approaching Han.

“Where’s my boyfriend?” she asked, looking up at Han sternly.

A crooked smile crossed Han’s face, “Chewie’s working on the Falcon.”

“I like that wookie,” she said, before her eyes settled on Kylo, just a hint of surprise in her eyes. “I’m sure you need something,” she turned to lead them through the crowd as the music and noise began again. “Let’s get on with it.”

Maz led them to a table and began to get tray after tray of food. Her mouth fell open and she resisted the urge the grab as much as she could and shove it in her mouth at once. Reaching out, almost timidly, she snagged the first thing in front of her and stuffed it in her mouth, waiting till she finished that before snagging another.

Kylo’s arm wrapped around her and squeezed once, and she looked up to find him looking at her in amusement. A blush crept across her face and she hoped it wasn’t rude to eat this fast when others hadn’t really had any yet.

“They need to get a message to their people…” Han was saying, quietly.

“Their people. You want me to let them use my com to contact the First Order,” she squinted at Han in disbelief. She could feel Kylo tensing next to her, agitation growing and doing his best to hide it.

“Whatever is going on he’s just trying to get back to First Order territory,” Han grumbled. “I don’t like it but I said I’d help.”

“Chances are both the Resistance and the First Order knows by now we’re here anyway,” Kylo said, almost dismissively. “This place has eyes and ears of every faction in the galaxy. But if I can get a message in it should prevent my people, at least, from coming with excessive force.”

Maz’s eyes narrowed, “Is that a threat, Ben Solo?”

Kylo scowled, “No. It’s what’s going to happen if things aren’t controlled. I’ve got nothing against you, or this place, and I’m just trying to get home.”

“Home?” the tiny alien snorted. “Your home is amid those beasts now?” He just stared at Maz, a very cold stare. “It’s not too late for you, Ben Solo, to return to the right side of the fight.”

“What fight?” she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

Maz’s eyes darted to her, staring almost through her. She squirmed in her chair and grabbed a piece of fruit off a platter to distract herself. “The only fight, against the darkside. Through the ages, I’ve seen evil take many forms-- the Sith, the Empire, now--” Maz turned to look at Kylo, “now the First Order.”

“For kriff’s sake,” Kylo muttered, nostrils flaring.

Maz turned to look at her, reaching up to twist her goggles. Her eyes magnified even further, “I know who he was and who he is now, but I don’t know you. Who are you, girl?”

She choked, startled to be asked a question. Swallowing the fruit, a blush of embarrassment spreading across her cheeks, she finally sputtered, “I’m-- I’m no one, really.”

Maz squinted at her, and Kylo cut in before the alien could say anything else, “She’s not your concern.”

“Oh, she isn’t? Who’s concern are you then, no one?” Maz continued to address her. Kylo grit his teeth together loud enough that she could hear it.

“My own,” she answered, folding her arms across her chest.

“Then you may want to ask yourself, for your own concern, if you’re heading towards salvation or damnation.”

Kylo stood up, dropping a data chip onto the table, “Send it or don’t. Either way I’m done with this conversation.” He glanced at her, as he turned away. She didn’t need him to speak to know he was letting her know he was asking her to leave with him.

She stood and turned to follow, but Maz’s voice halted her, “Tell him I’ll send it. Against my better judgement.” Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Maz pick up the data chip and gave a curt nod before turning and trying to find Kylo as she wandered away from the table. Her stomach was uneasy and not just because she gorged on more food in the last half hour than she probably ate in the last two months.

_“No!”_ a child’s scream caused her to freeze in place, turning the direction she heard it. No one else seemed to be reacting.

_“I won’t!”_ the girl’s voice cried out again.

Turning, she found herself following the cry through the crowd and down a hallway, the voice leading her deeper into the castle. To her surprise a second voice began to overlap the first, a boy’s voice.

_“No!”_ his voice, angrier, merged with the girl’s as she screamed no again.

_“I won’t!”_ again their voices merged, almost hauntingly.

Behind her she vaguely heard her name called, but the pull of the voices seemed be encompassing, leaving her unable to breakaway and really register the words as she found herself at the base of a staircase, and began to follow the voices down.

 

* * *

 

“Rey!”

He called from across the room when he saw her turn around and begin to walk the other direction. She didn’t appear to hear him. Squeezing through the crowd, he reached out, straining over the distance, and pushed himself into her mind.

She seemed to be unaware of the intrusion, which was worrisome enough.

_“I won’t!”_

It was a child’s voice, a girl, crying as she screamed it out. He heard it through her mind, as she heard it as if the sound was real, but he himself could hear nothing with his physical ears. His arms prickled in gooseflesh. This voice was drawing her somewhere, he pushed through the crowd as he saw her vanish around a corner into a hallway.

_“No!”_ another voice suddenly overlapped with the first and he froze in place, eyes wide. Was that…

_“I won’t!”_ the two voices overlapped again. The part of his mind still questioning quieted, the boy’s voice was his.

Hurrying again, nerves rattled, he saw her pause at the top of a stairway at the end of the hall and he called her name again, hoping to break her out the trance she seemed to have fallen into. If she heard him she didn’t show it as she began to descend down the stairway.

_“It’s not right! I won’t do it!”_  
_“It’s wrong, I won’t do it!”_

As he reached the bottom of the stairs, noticing an open door at the end. He was mid step when he felt the force shift and pull around him, pulling him somewhere else. He’d experienced this before, he knew exactly what it was. Was this even his? Or was he just piggybacking on what Rey was experiencing?

It didn’t matter he supposed, not in the end. Fighting a force vision was like fighting a tidal wave of water. It was going to flood over you in the end, whether you struggled or not.

He steadied himself the best he could as he let the vision take him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First let me thank ReyloRabbitTrail on tumblr for commenting on my "I don't know how to do this force vision" post and giving my mind a little nudge in the right direction.
> 
> I knew I was going to have a lot of the parallels to TFA's Takadona scenes, but I don't have Finn to abandon Rey, and Kylo isn't going anywhere, so the vision has to go down a little differently. The vision itself will also be different. 
> 
> I'm catching up with where my mind had the future clearly defined. I pretty much know where I'm trying to get the characters to at the end, but not sure at how they're all getting there yet... which might mean a few longer breaks between updates as I try to get things clear. I'm not too worried because this fic started out pretty vaguely defined in my mind, with the scenario I started with (Kylo being ambushed at the village to start the alternative chain of events). Things got a lot clearer with a more certain direction as I went.
> 
> XOXOXO to all for their comments and kudos.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And it changed again, she was in the snowy forest from her dream. Kylo stood beside her, wide eyed, she grabbed his arm and he looked down at her, looking as if he wanted to speak…
> 
>  
> 
> _“bring balance”_
> 
>  
> 
> A flash of green light to her right made her spin, the man with green lightsaber striding forward, moving to attack, she stumbled backwards…
> 
>  
> 
> _“not leave it in darkness”_
> 
>  
> 
> She was falling, as she fell, two voices whispered over each other.
> 
>  
> 
> _“Rey.”_  
>  “Ben.”
> 
>  
> 
> Her back hit a hard floor as the hallway outside of the room filled her vision.
> 
>  
> 
> _“These are your first steps…”_  
>  _“It is not too late…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Force visions are kind of wonky to write. Hopefully it flows in a manner that doesn't just get everyone reading lost.

She’d followed the voices, or maybe they’d pulled her, into a large storage room of sorts. Her eyes immediately fixated on a wooden chest, walking over to it and opening it without hesitation.

Resting in it was a metal object… a hilt, a lightsaber?

Her hand reached down and brushed the metal…

The room went dark. No, the room went _away._ For a moment she found herself in the middle of a void, and realized she wasn’t alone. Kylo stood across the void, their eyes met, just for a second, and then she felt herself pulled, hard, falling into something else entirely.

_“I sense much fear in you”_

A voice, a whisper, spoke as she found herself on a starship. Fallen battle droids on the floor and a space battle appeared to rage outside the viewports.

“I sense a trap…” a man said. He wore brown robes over a white tunic and pants. The man next to him wore all black, long hair framing a face with a scar crossing through his eye.

Voices continued to whisper as the scene played out, “ _train yourself to let go...”_

“Next move?” the man in black asked.

_“...of everything you fear to lose”_

The first man spoke, a smile breaking across his face, “Spring the trap.”

She felt as if something constricted around her and pulled. She found herself in a hallway. Through a door at the end of the hall, she could see out to a series of utility catwalks over a void, two men fighting with lightsabers, red and blue.

_“luminous beings”_

“NO!” a voice screamed in anguish and she was pulled…

_“not this crude matter”_

Night on rocky ground, a man screaming “No!” as a temple burned in the distance…

_“the Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way”_

...and then things spun and she fell to the ground, rain soaking her in torrents. From the corner of her eye she saw movement and turned her head to see a man lunging at her, weapon raised to strike. But a red lightsaber blade burst through the man's chest. He fell to reveal a masked Kylo, flanked on each side by three men dressed in black and wearing black masks. She scrambled to her feet and he appeared to notice her, taking a step towards her…

_“...including their quest for greater power.”_

The bright sun blinded her as she found herself in the sands of Jakku.

“No! Come back!”

She was staring at herself, her younger self, four or five years old. Screaming at the ship leaving her to come back, to not leave her.

The sun grew brighter, blindingly bright and things shifted to white and...

_“the force is strong in my family.”_

“Please don’t make me go!” A boy, maybe twelve or thirteen, with curly black hair, another young Kylo. A woman stood before him. Han stood to the side, looking down, hands in his pockets. The “Dad! Please! I don't want to go! I'll be good, I swear I'll be good!”

The woman grasped his shoulders, “You haven't done anything wrong, Ben, but you need help. Your uncle will be able to help you.”

_“my father has it. I have it. My sister has it.”_

“I don’t want to. Mom, please, don't send me away. Please…”

The woman’s gaze hardened as she stiffened, “This is for your own good, Ben.”

_“You have that power, too”_

Shoving the woman back from him, the boy’s face contorted in rage as tears streamed down his face. He screamed, “I HATE YOU!”

The scene shifted and his voice morphed into someone else, “I HATE YOU!”

A hellish landscape of molten rock, two men, she recognized them from earlier, from the starship. One lay maimed and wounded, slipping into the lava as he glared in pain and hatred at the other, who looked down at him with a heartbroken sadness.

“You were my brother!” he screamed down at the broken man.

_“now you've become the very thing you swore to destroy”_

“I LOVED YOU!”

Things jerked sideways into blackness and then…

_“unconditional love, is essential“_

A dim, industrial room, Han, a much younger Han, stood on a platform.

“I love you,” a woman broke free from stormtroopers guarding her to step forward towards him.

_“stop now... come back... I love you”_

“I know,” he answered, looking into her eyes as the fog filled the room as two voices whispered over one another.

 _“there is still good in him”_  
_“there is good in him”_

She spun at the sound of lightsabers clashing against one another. The man from the dream again, and Kylo, a still younger Kylo but not a teenager anymore, fought against one another in a white marble hallway. Fallen bodies scattered on the floor. The man’s green saber clashing against a yellow one that Kylo fought with. The man was driving him back until he was pinned against the wall, their blades locked.

_“from my point of view, the Jedi are evil”_

“My own blood,” rage twisted the man's face and his blue eyes flashed dangerously. His voice a hoarse whisper, “I knew this day would come, but I would have never suspected it would be you.”

_“from a certain point of view”_

There was a flash of light and then she stumbled back and hit a wall, facing a man tied to a chair. Slumped over and screaming in pain.

_“fear is the path to the darkside”_

“No! I can’t!” The man’s screams stopped and he slumped over, she turned to see the younger Kylo from her dream, the teenager. Short hair and a single long braid, dressed in white with a brown robe. There was a look of shame and horror in his eyes. “I can’t get to it. I’m going to damage him if I keep pushing.”

“You can, and you will,” an older man circled behind him, she recognized him from her dream, the man with the mechanical hand and green lightsaber, though he looked younger than he had in her dream. “He has what we need, and he refused to give it to us. He left us no other choice.”

_“in a dark place we find ourselves”_

“No, I won’t! It’s not right! This isn’t right, uncle!”

The older man reached out and grasped the boy’s shoulder, “We serve the will of the force, Ben, and you will do what the force requires of you. It granted you this talent for a reason.”

_“fear leads to anger”_

“It’s not right, I won’t!” the teenage Kylo clamped his eyes shut, looking almost panicked. Behind him the older man’s face contorted into a snarl as he jerked the boy back, spinning him around and slamming him into the wall hard.

_“anger leads to hate”_

“You will do as you're told, _boy_.” The man leaned forward, glaring into the teenage Kylo’s eyes. “Am I clear?”

_“hate leads to suffering”_

The boy shook, eyes wet, before nodding. The older man stepped to the side and the young Kylo stepped forward, reaching his hand out as the man tied to the chair convulsed and screamed. And then she was pulled again...

_“a dangerous time”_

“No!” she turned and saw herself, no more than nine, her small arm caught in a brutish alien’s grip. A few other thugs stood behind him.

“It’s easy girl, you just sneak inside, a tiny thing like you will fit through easily,” his voice was a smooth purr as he held up a metal canister, “set a few of these and and scurry out. One little act and I’ll make sure you have portions for months.”

_“you will be tempted”_

“I won’t!” she snarled, trying to pull away. “I’m not going to kill them for you. It’s wrong, I won’t!”

His tightened his grip, practically crushing her arm and she cried out. He leaned down, snarling, “You will do what I tell you to do, girl, like a good little pet. Unless you want to find out what I do to teach my bad pets a lesson.” He shook her once, hard, “Understood?”

_“can not be helped”_

Tears in her eyes, the girl nodded, he released her arm, “Good, then--” his words were cut off as her little foot slammed hard into his knee, turning instead to a startled cry as he stumbled back. She spun, ducking away as the alien lunged for her. She turned and ran as fast as she could--

And it changed again, she was in the snowy forest from her dream. Kylo stood beside her, wide eyed, she grabbed his arm and he looked down at her, looking as if he wanted to speak…

_“bring balance”_

A flash of green light to her right made her spin, the man with green lightsaber striding forward, moving to attack, she stumbled backwards…

_“not leave it in darkness”_

She was falling, as she fell, two voices whispered over each other.

 _“Rey.”_  
_“Ben.”_

Her back hit a hard floor as the hallway outside of the room filled her vision.

 _“These are your first steps…”_  
_“It is not too late…”_

 

* * *

 

“Rey,” she looked over to see Kylo struggling to his feet.

“What… what was that?”

He stumbled down the hall, not noticing Maz staring from the stairs behind him, and knelt next to her, “You're okay?”

Was she? Okay? She really had no idea what had just happened. “What was that?” she asked, even more forcefully that the last time.

He swallowed, “A force vision…”

“A what?”

Maz spoke from behind them, voice slightly awed, “The lightsaber, it calls to you!”

Kylo snapped his head around to look at the alien, his voice a low growl, “What lightsaber?”

The realization that she’d been prowling around where she shouldn’t hit her. Pulling herself to her feet, “I shouldn’t have gone in there. I’m sorry.”

The little alien just approached her, eyes intense, “This means something… something important…”

Kylo was on his feet, heading into the room the chest was in, Maz sputtered at him a second before shaking and speaking quietly, “That lightsaber was Luke Skywalker’s and his father’s before him. And now it calls to _you_.”

She shook her head, feeling beyond overwhelmed and confused, wishing she was back on Jakku. Back in her AT-AT. Back where life was hard but simple. She looked up as Kylo emerged, the saber in his hand. He looked equally stunned and angry as he strode towards Maz, glowering down at her as he spoke through gritted teeth, “Where did you get this?”

Maz did not back down, stretching her hand out to ask for the saber from him, “A story for another time. That does not belong to you, Ben Solo.”

He stared down at her in disbelief, voice low, “I know what this is. It belongs to me far more than it belongs to you.”

“The girl may take it,” she said, coldly. “But not you.”

She stared at Maz in disbelief, “I’m never touching that thing again!”

“Rey,” Kylo spoke her name softly, still glaring down at Maz. “She’s not wrong, you were pulled to it.” He looked slightly irritated to have to admit Maz was right about anything. Maz, squinted up at him, almost suspiciously. He turned away from the alien, instead walking towards her.

“No.” She took a step back away from him.

“You can not run from who you are, child.” Maz spoke gently, “You can not be afraid to be who you are.”

Kylo shot an annoyed glance over his shoulder at Maz before turning back to her. “This was Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber,” he looked down at it, “my grandfather’s…” She narrowed her eyes at him, backing away until her back hit the wall. He stopped a step or two away from her, his eyes shone with a dark intensity, “If you told me a week ago I would ever willingly part with an item like this once it came into my possession, I would have laughed.” She shook her head, her heart pounding in her chest. He held it out to her, “It’s meant to be yours. You can’t deny it any more than you can deny the force flowing through you.”

Her eyes stung and she reached out and shoved Kylo back before turning and running. She needed to get out of this castle, get away from that thing in Kylo’s hand, away from her own scurrying thoughts and emotions. Pounding her way up the staircase and through the cantina and out the door, not slowing down until she was in the shelter of the massive trees, surrounded by the green of the forest.

 

* * *

 

He let out an exasperated sigh as Rey fled, clipping the lightsaber to his belt, and glancing down at Maz. Her eyes studying him with an intense scrutiny.

“She’s overwhelmed, it may take some time, but I’ll help her to see,” he said, before turning and walking to the stairs.

“Ben Solo,” Maz called as he began to climb the first steps. He turned, frowning, at her. She just nodded once, “It isn’t too late. It truly isn’t too late.”

Ten minutes ago he would have rolled his eyes, but the words at the end of the vision, the ones that spoke to him, rang through his head. Kriffing cryptic force visions, he had no idea what it wasn’t too late for. So instead of scoffing, he just nodded once before turning and climbing the stairs rapidly. Reaching out, he found her force signature. She’d run farther than he had expected already. He needed to find her, find her and calm her down. Deal with the issue of the saber after she was a little less jittery. It wasn’t safe for her to be alone, not here.

He exited the cantina to startled voices and people milling outside, looking up. Glancing upward at what caught people’s attention, he froze in place watching the red lines crossing the sky, realizing with sinking horror what he was looking at.

The five red lines ended at a point and a fiery dot at the end, four small ones and one larger one, burning like new stars in the daytime sky.

Kriff it, they had done it, hadn’t they? And not even a warning, no, Snoke had gone straight for the killing blow.

His stomach churned. He was loath to admit how much this sickened him. Killing and death was something he’d long since become numb to… but this…

This wasn’t a village. This was billions. Billions killed from light years away.

His mind couldn’t quite reconcile any of it.

“What the hell…” he heard Han’s voice next to him and he looked away from the sky, staring at the ground.

“It was the Republic,” he said, his voice devoid of emotion.

Han turned, shaking, “What did your people do?”

He turned away, “I need to find Rey.”

A hand grabbed his shoulder, “What did those gods damned monsters do?”

Spinning, he shoved Han back with a snarl, “If the Resistance hadn’t attacked First Order operatives and brought a fleet against a First Order Star Destroyer in an obvious act of war, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

“You’re defending this?!”

The roar of fighter engines cut off his response before it left his mouth. He looked across the lake to see approaching X-Wings and Resistance transports. Gods damn everything, damn this place, someone had spotted them and alerted---

His line of thought was interrupted by a twinge of guilt… and it wasn’t his guilt. He turned to look at his father, who was looking anywhere but at him. The guilt came off of the man in waves, but once he looked at him he didn’t need to be sensing his father’s emotions to realize what had happened. The guilt was written across his face and in his eyes.

“You contacted her,” he whispered in disbelief and horror.

“Ben…”

A snarl ripped from his throat and he lunged, grabbing Han by the breast of his shirt and shoving him backwards until he slammed him into the castle wall. “You told her where to find me!”

“I used the com on the freighter before we left it to come down. She wants to help you. Snoke’s poisoned your mind.” Han gestured at the sky, “And this… this just shows she’s right. We need to get you away from them.”

He let go, eyes stinging, his hand pulling his lightsaber and igniting it as he backed away. Pointing the saber at Han, he growled, “If you come near me again I’ll kill you.”

Turning, he ran for the forest, towards Rey’s force signature and the cover from the incoming fighters. As he entered the cover of the trees the sound of an explosion made him turn, squinting now into the light to see a TIE fighter engaging an X-Wing. A small smile spread across his face. The Order had found him too.

Once again he set off at a run, following the pull of Rey’s force signature. He needed to find his kitten and he needed to find her now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... 
> 
> Kinda cliffhangeringy here, sorry.
> 
> Hopefully this chapter flowed decently. I felt like it was getting forced in a few places.
> 
> XOXOXO for the kudos and comments. I really do appreciate all the feedback.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of the fighters made him sigh. Part of him would rather be up there, but kriffing medics wouldn’t clear him to fly yet. They hadn’t even wanted to let him come at all, but Organa was kind enough to overrule them. He had his dog in this fight and wasn’t about to back away until he delivered Ren, trussed up like fete week fowl, to Organa’s custody.
> 
> “Okay, we stay in teams of three,” he looked at the twenty men and women surrounding him. “Do not separate for any reason. Keep your blasters on stun and attempt to take him down with concentrated fire from all of you at once. If you can drop him, immediately inject him with the syringe you’re all carrying.” He paused, clenching his fists before continuing, “If you have to, swap to full power on the blasters but try for non-lethal shots first. Remember, Organa was him alive, but if you have to shoot to kill to save yourselves, you do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me summarize this chapter as "shit hits fan"

He jumped out as soon as the small transport opened, blaster in hand, surveying the terrain. It was a good position, out of sightlines behind a curve of the shoreline. A low rocky beach extended from the tree line, giving enough room for the smaller two transports to land. The main assault was going to take place near the landing pads by the castle. Hopefully they would manage to corner Ren between the main ground force team and his smaller team.

The sound of the fighters made him sigh. Part of him would rather be up there, but kriffing medics wouldn’t clear him to fly yet. They hadn’t even wanted to let him come at all, but Organa was kind enough to overrule them. He had his dog in this fight and wasn’t about to back away until he delivered Ren, trussed up like fete week fowl, to Organa’s custody.

“Okay, we stay in teams of three,” he looked at the twenty men and women surrounding him. “Do _not_ separate for any reason. Keep your blasters on stun and _attempt_ to take him down with concentrated fire from all of you at once. If you can drop him, immediately inject him with the syringe you’re all carrying.” He paused, clenching his fists before continuing, “If you have to, swap to full power on the blasters but try for non-lethal shots first. Remember, Organa was him alive, but if you have to shoot to kill to save yourselves, you do it.”

His men looked at him solemnly. Some of them had been on Jakku, but even the ones who haven’t had heard the stories from those who had. He paused, “The girl is less dangerous but a threat. And trust me, she don’t look like one. Don’t let her fool you. If we can capture her as well, Organa wants her. Same procedure as with Ren, shoot to stun and hit her with the drugs. But the girl is a secondary objective to Ren. If our choice is her or Ren, we go for Ren, understood.”

Scanning the faces around him, he saw everyone nodding, determination in their eyes. They began splitting into their teams and moving out their positions in the woods. The goal was to be spread out enough to cover the area but not so much that he’d be able to split through their net if he came this way.

When it was just his team left, he glanced over at Jess and Vasvi, “We ready?”

“As we'll ever be,” Jess answered, checking the syringes she had in her pocket.

He smirked, “I can't believe you volunteered for this.”

She smirked back, “I got something to prove after our failure on Jakku too. He’s not getting away from us this time.”

“Okay, let’s…” he stopped short as Jess’ eyes shot over his shoulder and her breath caught. Starting to turn, Jess grabbed his shoulder and dragged both of them to the ground. As they fell he saw the girl at the tree line, blaster pistol in hand. No shot came and the girl pulled the blaster back to her and fumbled with the safety. He lurched to his feet, ducking for cover behind a boulder as the girl fired.

“Kriffing little bitch…” Jess growled. Leaning around to fire a barrage of stun bolts at the girl. He and Vasvi joined in and the girl quickly turned and ran up into the trees. She was alone, and it was in their best interest to make sure they got to her before she could find Ren.

“Come on!” he shouted as he led his team into the woods in pursuit.

 

* * *

 

She hadn’t really had much of an idea of where she was going, only that she wanted to get far away from everyone and everything for at least a little while. After awhile she found a spot on a log to sit and try to get her mind together.

The sound of ships’ engines not far away caught her attention, and she followed the sound to a point where the tree line broke and opened up to a flat, rocky beach along the shore of the lake. A pair of transport had landed on the beach.

_Resistance_ transports.

She pulled out the blaster Han had given her and slipped beyond the tree line, getting a clearer view of the beach.

That’s when she saw them. And that’s when they saw her.

She recognized two of them, Dameron and a woman, from Jakku. As soon as she realized she’d been spotted she raised her blaster pistol to fire… and nothing happened. Kriffing safety, she’d forgotten the kriffing safety, she quickly flipped it off and began to fire, but it was too late. They were already running for cover. And then a barrage of stun bolts narrowly missed her. As all three of the Resistance opened fire she realized she was going to be overwhelmed and spun, running into the woods.

They were following her. She ran, almost blindly, scrambling over rocks and logs and past trees. Ducking for cover behind a massive tree trunk, she gasped for breath, clutching the blaster almost desperately.

“Rey?”

Dameron. And he was close. She eyed the tree. The trunk was massive but lined with thick vines that would make good foot and hand holds. Grabbing on she began to climb until she reached a massive branch spanning out from the main trunk. Between the canopy of the tree and the vines that hung down like curtains, she was fairly well hidden up here. She slid out away from the main trunk, straddling it, the branch didn’t even bend under her weight

“Come on, kid, we know you’re here.” Through the leaves she saw Dameron and the woman appear under her. He was scanning the forest, blaster in hand. “We aren’t going to hurt you, just drop the blaster and come out.” He stopped, nearly directly under her, eyes narrowing as he looked around.

“Little bitch is here,” the woman murmured, so soft she could barely make out the words. Dameron shot the woman a look that clearly was telling her to shut the kriff up.

“Where ya hiding, girl?” he said softly before he let out a loud, exasperated sigh that she was clearly meant to hear, “You’re far from home, kid. And your _friend_ , well, if he isn’t in our custody yet he’s going to be soon. We aren’t going to hurt him either, whether or not some of us would like to. General Organa, his _mother_ , wants to talk to him.”

Dameron’s eyes flicked upward towards the canopy and she gritted her teeth. His instincts were always too kriffing good. She had to assume he was piecing together where she might be. “Organa’s very interested in meeting you too, Rey. You really want to be separated from _him_? Be all alone far from home? We’ll let you stay with him, if that’s what you really want.”

He was trying hard to weave truth and lies together into a net he could use to snare her. Use her own emotions and fears and vague lies and promises, ones that would be just soothing enough to her fears to be enticing. She wasn’t buying it, any of it. Sliding out on the branch further, Dameron’s eyes traced through the canopy again, “Kid, I’m going to give you a minute to think about this, and then we’re going to just start blasting up into the trees. I know you’re up there. Think about it. It’s a long way down when you fall after we stun you. We don’t want you to get hurt but you aren’t leaving us much choice.”

Gritting her teeth, she stopped directly above them. It was a kriffing long way down, but it was survivable. Especially if she padded her landing with the assholes below her. Taking a deep breath, she jumped.

Her body hit Dameron hard enough to knock the air out of her lungs. He went stumbling sideways, careening into the woman next to him and sending all of them sprawling. She scrambled to her feet, kicking the blasters away and dodging Dameron’s hand as it tried to snag her ankle. A stun bolt blasted past her shoulder-- kriff, the third resistance man was barreling out of the trees towards her. Turning she began to run again, run as fast as she could.

She wasn’t even sure where she was or how long she ran, but glancing over her shoulder as she slid down a hill, her body collided with something solid and she stumbled backwards, landing sprawled on her ass. In front of her stood white armored legs. She traced up the legs to look into the stormtrooper’s mask, paling slightly as he leveled a blaster at her.

“Hold it there!” his voice sounded mechanical through the mouthpiece on his helmet.

There were six stormtroopers in white armor, and one in armor of shiny chrome. She sat, breathing hard, but staying still.

“Rey!” she nearly jumped to her feet, but remembering the blasters trained on her, she instead just turned her head to see Kylo appearing over a small rise behind her. He froze at the top at the sight of the stormtroopers, straightening slightly as a grin spread across his face as he regarded the chrome armored trooper, “Captain, I can not begin to say how happy I am to see you.”

 

* * *

 

He skidded down the hill to stand next to Rey. Phasma acknowledge him with a slight tilt of her head, the lightest hint of emotion coming through to show she was also happy to see him, “Commander Ren.”

Rey was looking up at him, wide eyed, he reached down and squeezed her shoulder, “The girl is with me.”

“There are Resistance--” she said, still gasping a bit for air. He and Phasma both looked down at her and she darted her eyes between the two of them nervously, “Three were chasing me--” she took another gasping breath, “Dameron and two--others.” He gritted his teeth, Dameron. This time he was going to make sure that son of a bitch was dead before they left. “But there are transports-- two by the lake. Have to be more of them.”

He looked up at Phasma, “Give me three of the troopers, we’re going to find the scum that were chasing the girl. I’m leaving her in your care, she’s of interest both to me and Snoke and is to remain safe and unharmed.” Rey’s eyes narrowed at him nervously, but at this point he didn’t have the time to deal with calming her down.

“FN-2199, FN-2000, FN-2187, accompany Commander Ren.”

Three of the troopers stepped forward and he turned, igniting his saber, he headed out, letting his senses reach out into the forest. The girl was right, there were others, in groups of three. But the signature he was looking for wasn’t far away. It was tempting to go and confront Dameron first, but the path towards the lake was clear.

And if there were transports, he wanted to make sure those were adequately disabled first. Preferably by being turned into debris and smoking metal. So instead he lead along the edge of the forest bordering the lake, trying to keep track of the force signatures around him. But his kitten’s signature was growing agitated, and it was getting distracting. He probably should have taken more time to calm her, or maybe just have knocked her out… the latter would have pissed her off but it probably would have been the smarter thing to do. Make sure she didn’t do anything stupid like break away from the safety of the stormtroopers and run after him… because he had a bad feeling that she might be doing that right now.

He shook his head, trying to clear it, and realized Dameron’s force signature was a lot closer. Trying to pinpoint the exact location was proving difficult. But they were closer, a real lot closer, he stopped suddenly, his troopers halting behind him. “There are people nearby, find them,” he ordered, his voice a growl, his saber crackling in his hand.

“Yes, sir,” they answered, spreading out to scan the forest. He paused, turning, concentrating, trying to ignore the fact that Rey was moving closer too. Dameron’s signature, he was very familiar with it, he just needed to calm himself down and-- his eyes flicked upward to the canopy as a blaster bolt fired from above him and to his right. He barely had time to bat it away with his saber, and then something hit him from above, slamming him into the ground, knocking his saber from his hand. Snarling, he saw the glint of a syringe and knocked Dameron back with a blast of the force before the man could make contact. The syringe went flying from Dameron’s hand and he lept to his feet, reaching out with his hand, intending to use the force crush this son of bitch’s neck this time once and for all.

A barrage of stun bolts came and one hit him square in the back, knocking him to his knees, dazed but still conscious, Dameron lunged at him as the two other Resistance soldiers dropped out of the trees, “You can thank your girl for giving us that idea…” Dameron growled as he knocked him back, another stun bolt hit his shoulder and he fought through the momentary haze, lunging at Dameron as red blaster bolts lit the air behind him as the stormtroopers appeared out of the shadows of the woods, opening fire.

 

* * *

 

Out of his peripheral vision he saw two stormtroopers opening fire, saw Jess diving for cover and Vasvi staggering back violently, clearly hit. Kriff it. Kriff it all. He had the bastard and he wasn’t going to let him get away this time. He clung to him with one arm as he wrestled another syringe out of his pocket.

Ren staggered to his feet and he hung onto the man’s back, lunging, Ren slammed into a tree, angling sideways to make sure he took the brunt of the impact. The air left his lungs but he clung on, trying desperately not to lose his grip on the syringe in his hand as Ren spun again, slamming backwards into the tree in another attempt to dislodge him. He felt his body loosen slightly, and Ren took advantage, flipping him over his back and slamming him into the ground. The syringe fell from his grip, bouncing on the dirt and moss of the forest floor.

Ren advanced at him, behind the approaching figure he could see Jess still pinned down by the two stormtroopers. To his surprise, there was a burst of red light and one of the stormtroopers fell, revealing a third trooper behind him, blaster up. The second trooper turned in shock and the third trooper cut him down.

What the hell?

Ren was oblivious, completely focused at him “I wish I had time to kill you slowly like you deserve, but since I don’t…” Invisible tendrils wrapped around his neck and his breath was cut off… he clawed at his throat, even though he knew it was useless. Behind him the third stormtrooper rushed forward, grabbing the second syringe from where he had dropped it, and lunging forward to stab Ren in the shoulder.

The man’s eyes widened in surprise, and then shock as he spun to see who was behind him, before falling to his knees, breathing hard. Fighting the sedative, but it was already too late as the man’s arms gave out and he collapsed in the dirt.

Behind him the stormtrooper fell to his knees, wrenching his helmet off and dropping it to the ground to reveal a dark face that was surprisingly gentle and frightened. As he and Jess leveled their blasters on him, he raised his arms over his head and gasped, “Fulcrum.”

He blinked, “You’re Fulcrum?!”

The trooper nodded, “FN-2187.”

“What?” he blinked, confused.

A twitch of a smile crossed the man’s face, “My designation.”

“Your name? That’s your real name?”

“Only one they ever gave me,” the trooper glanced over his shoulder. “There’s not a lot of time, the girl’s with the rest of the squad…”

He winced, “We can’t risk it, we got to get him…” he nodded down to the unconscious Kylo Ren, “secured and off this kriffing planet before we end up in full engagement with the First Order and risk losing him again.” He sighed, “Girl is only a secondary objective.”

FN… oh, kriff that, he needed to give this guy a real name-- spoke, “They’re growing suspicious, but my cover hasn’t been blown yet. I was planning on leaving in a few weeks, collecting as much data as I could get access to and making a run for it before they figured out who was leaking information.” He licked his lips and picked up his helmet, “I can try to escape with the girl when I run. But we’ve got to make sure they don’t suspect what happened here…” He put helmet back on, his voice distorted and mechanical, “Don’t hold back, this needs to be real.”

“Aw hell,” he stepped forward, lifting his blaster up, butt up as a bludgeon. “You sure? You can come with us now if you don’t want to take the risk. We owe you. A lot.”

“I’m sure.”

He nodded, “FN-- mind if we start calling you Finn instead of that-- _designation_ they gave you?”

Even through the helmet he could hear the tinge of emotion in the man’s voice, “I.. I’d like that.”

“Okay, Finn,” he sighed, and brought the blaster down violently across the man’s helmet, “sorry my man.” Raising the blaster again he brought it down twice more. Had to look real, like the man said, it had to look real.

He took a moment to check Vasvi, shaking his head. No pulse. Kriff. At least he didn't die for nothing… not this time. Turning his attention to Ren’s fallen form, he nodded, to Jess, “Grab this heavy ass kriffer’s legs and let’s get him out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooo boy... okay. Hope this chapter wasn't too jumpy with me bouncing into different POVs.
> 
> Yous guys didn't think I'd be leaving Finn out of this story, did you? I couldn't do that.
> 
> So I'd been trying to lay the seeds with the Resistance mentioning Fulcrum in a few places. I hope this works where the hints of a spy for the resistance in the FO were clear so it isn't a complete blindsiding.
> 
> Kylo, you're an idiot, you and your girl were safe with the Order troops and you had to go and let your need for revenge take over.
> 
> XOXOXO for all the kudos and comments. Love all of you.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of shifting fabric in the corner of the room made him realize he wasn’t alone. Faintly, he could smell tea, her tea, fragrant and pungent. The tea she drank often enough that the scent had always hung to her clothes faintly even when she didn’t have a cup. His throat tightened and he pulled sharply against the chains again.
> 
> “Kriffing bitch,” he growled the words out, refusing to look to the corner where she sat.
> 
> “So nice to see you too, Ben,” her voice was cold. He didn’t need to see her to know the hard, steely glint that would be in her eyes. The way she always looked when she locked away her emotions and operated on sheer determination to do something, and damn the consequences to those around her.
> 
> It was the look she had when she sent him away, even as he pleaded with her not to make him go. He winced at the memory, now raw again after reliving it in the force vision. His chin tapped the metal band around his neck and he let out a growl, “You put a suppression collar on me.”
> 
> “We did,” she answered, “it’s a nicer option than the chemical suppressants.”
> 
> “You _collared_ me like a kriffing dog.” He gritted his teeth, “Kriffing _bitch_. ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get too used to these rapid fire updates, lol. I won't be able to keep this pace up. Plus I need to go spend some time working on Bonded.

_“Give me three of the troopers, we’re going to find the scum that were chasing the girl. I’m leaving her in your care, she’s of interest both to me and Snoke and is to remain safe and unharmed.”_

She narrowed her eyes at Kylo in a glare at the words, feeling both anxious and suspicious on the implication in them. To start with, he was kriffing about to leave her here. Leave her here with these people she didn’t know or trust. Leave her here and go try to chase down Dameron like a kriffing idiot when they should just run. Screw your arrogance and pride, Kylo…

So, yes, there was that, and as he glanced down at her she was sure he saw her reaction and brushed it off. But there was something else too, wasn’t there?

“ _she’s of interest both to me and Snoke”_

Interest? She was of interest to him? She understood his demeanor had changed, became more authoritarian and commanding as soon as he saw the troops, so she guessed she could understand the fact that he chose to try to disassociate somewhat… but interest? _Interest_?

And Snoke… Kylo had mentioned him before, that he’d gone to Snoke after the failed revolt against his uncle. But she didn’t really know who, or what, Snoke was. And she really didn’t like the idea that she was now of _interest_ to him.

A white gloved hand reached down and grasped her shoulder firmly, but not harshly, trying to pull her to her feet. She was looking the direction Kylo had gone, stomach churning. The chrome trooper glanced down at her and then to the trooper, “I want her taken back and secured on a ship. If Ren is correct and she’s of interest to Snoke, then we are not to take chances with her safety.”

She blinked, no… wait.

“Get up,” the trooper said, pulling on her more harshly and lifting her to her feet. She hissed under her breath and tried to jerk out of his grip.

“No… Kylo…” she looked the direction he had gone.

The chrome trooper took a step forward, “Commander Ren wanted you kept safe. Cooperate.”

She gritted her teeth, “I’m not going anywhere without Kylo!” The chrome trooper’s chin dipped, somehow even through the armor and helmet the motion was enough to communicate her exasperation and maybe even a little sympathy. But then her eyes flicked up to the trooper behind her and suddenly his arms enveloped her, lifting her off the ground and turning to take her-- did it even kriffing matter where? She began to struggle, kicking against the armor plates of the trooper’s legs.

“Stop that,” aggravation was clear even through the helmet. He put her feet on the ground to get a better grip, and she took the opportunity to slam her heel down on his foot as hard as she could. He let out a hiss and his grip loosened, allowing her to wrestle out of his grip, stumbling before turning and running as hard as she could after Kylo.

There was a growing feeling of dread in her as she ran, the troopers chasing after her. She had the benefit of being smaller and and more agile, which in the varied terrain gave her an advantage and she was able to pull away, but they weren’t far behind her.

She nearly tripped over a dead stormtrooper. Skidding to a halt she took in the three fallen troopers and the dead Resistance man, eyes wide, before taking off through the trees again. It wasn’t clear to her how she made the decision to run in the direction she did, but it was the right way, it was the way towards Kylo, somehow she knew it.

Skidding down a hill onto the rocky beach, she saw Dameron and the Resistance woman down at the far end of the shore, entering one of the transports, carrying Kylo between them. She let out a shriek as she charged towards them, “NO!”

Dameron stepped back onto the transport’s ramp, staring at her, as the transports engines came online. Behind her the troopers that had been chasing her skidded onto the beach, and he turned in a hurry, the transport’s ramp closing as he vanished inside.

“NO NO NO NO! KYLO!” she shrieked, raw panic fogging her thoughts as she ran. The troopers began to fire on the ship, causing it to lurch as it rose. She tripped on some loose rocks and went sprawling, her chin scraping against the ground. As she pulled herself to her knees she felt a pressure building within her.

“NO!” she screamed, the pressure released and she collapsed into a sobbing heap on the ground, only vaguely aware of the how the transport had lurched violently in the air before righting itself, or the beach rocks that were flying in all directions, of the troopers who were knocked backwards off their feet, landing hard on the ground with a thud, or of the trees along the shore that bent back and snapped, leaving a trail of wood splinters and debris.

Aftershocks of energy seemed to spill from her, causing pebbles to jump and rocks to vibrate.

Behind her the troopers were getting gingerly to their feet, and the chrome one stepped cautiously to one side. “Stun her. Now!” She shot her head up, but the first blast already hit her squarely between the shoulders. Lurching, she turned, snarling, only to be hit twice more in rapid succession. Her strength bled away and she felt herself falling as her eyes rolled back into her head.

 

* * *

 

The room was dimly lit, somewhere inside with no windows. Despite his throbbing head, he forced himself to focus, trying to take in his surroundings. The walls were stone and there was a dampness in the air. He tried to move his arms and chains rattled, he was chained to something… maybe the floor or the chair? The chair he was sitting in was hard and metal and too small for him to sit comfortably in. He tried to reach out with the force to test the strength of the chains… and found a void where his power should be. Rolling his head, he became aware that there was something around his neck, something metal.

The sound of shifting fabric in the corner of the room made him realize he wasn’t alone. Faintly, he could smell tea, her tea, fragrant and pungent. The tea she drank often enough that the scent had always hung to her clothes faintly even when she didn’t have a cup. His throat tightened and he pulled sharply against the chains again.

“Kriffing bitch,” he growled the words out, refusing to look to the corner where she sat.

“So nice to see you too, Ben,” her voice was cold. He didn’t need to see her to know the hard, steely glint that would be in her eyes. The way she always looked when she locked away her emotions and operated on sheer determination to do something, and damn the consequences to those around her.

It was the look she had when she sent him away, even as he pleaded with her not to make him go. He winced at the memory, now raw again after reliving it in the force vision. His chin tapped the metal band around his neck and he let out a growl, “You put a suppression collar on me.”

“We did,” she answered, “it’s a nicer option than the chemical suppressants.”

“You _collared_ me like a kriffing dog.” He gritted his teeth, “Kriffing _bitch._ ”

He heard her stand and the rattling of the chair as she dragged it closer, so she was sitting in front of him. Still he refused to look at her, keeping his eyes trained onto the floor. “It’s unfortunate, but necessary.” She paused, he could see in his mind her pursing her lips as she waited to see if he’d say anything else, “This entire ordeal, I’m afraid, was unfortunate but necessary.”

Anger spiked in him again and he jerked hard on the chains before stilling, staring at the floor. “ _Unfortunate_ . Yes, nearly killing me was _unfortunate_ . Getting so many of your people killed was _unfortunate_ . Niima being leveled to ruins was _unfortunate_ . Tell me, did you do anything to help your _allies_ down on Jakku? Or did you pull your people out without even an apology for leaving them with nothing but destruction?”

There was a long pause, the room silent except for the sound of his mother’s deep breaths. He had aggravated her with an accusation that was completely true and she loathed to even think about. But when she spoke again, her voice was calm and cold.

“You’ve seen the rest of the map to Luke,” she said, as he blew air angrily out of his nose. “And you’re going to give it to us so we can find him.”

“I’m not giving you anything, _Mother._ Especially not a way to find _him_.”

“You have no remorse at all for what you did, do you?” she snapped, her calm demeanor breaking and her own anger starting to ebb out.

Lifting his head up and studying her face, he met her brown eyes for the first time. Other than being older, she didn’t look so much different than she had when he last saw her at thirteen. “Do you have any remorse for what _you_ did?”

“What, exactly, did _I_ do, Ben?” she studied him thoughtfully.

He laughed, hard, it made his head hurt but he couldn’t stop. “You really have no idea, do you?” She raised her eyebrows at him, saying nothing. “No, you really don’t. Not what he put me through, not what he did to me. What he did to anyone who tried to push back against his fanaticism.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, “Luke was hard on you, but he was trying to help you. We were all trying to help you.”

For a moment he could only stare at her and the utter absurdity of what she just said,“I was a headache you wanted to get rid of. And Luke? Luke only cared about his own agenda and his psychotic interpretations of the will of the force.”

There was more he wanted to say. Things he wanted to say about her, about her utter abandonment of him when he needed her the most. About the man whose _care_ she left him in… the man who taught him to use the force as weapon, whose punishments for disobedience had left physical and mental scars that he still carried, who had him kill for the first time, and not the last time, at the age of sixteen, as he obliterated a man’s mind to extract the information they were seeking.

Snoke was a monster in his own right, he wouldn’t deny that. But nothing his current master had put him through would ever match the hell he lived through with his uncle. Or maybe it did, but Luke had turned him into enough of a monster himself now that he was numb to it. It didn’t matter. Not in the end.

“That’s not true,” she snapped. “Not about me, not about Luke. Your mind has been twisted, Ben.”

Nothing he could say would ever convince her, would it? There was no point in continuing this line of conversation.

“Has it now?” he smirked, “Maybe you’re right, because right now it’s telling me matricide might be a good life choice. And after what he did, maybe patricide along with it.”

“Well, it’s good we collared and chained you then, I suppose,” she kept her voice flat, too flat. He had upset her. Good.

“I care about you, Ben. That’s why I’m going to give you a chance to do the right thing,” her lips formed a flat line. “If you refuse, then, well… there are less pleasant ways to do this. But you are going to help me find your uncle.”

“You care about me so much that you’re willing to torture me?” he laughed.

“I didn’t say torture,” her lips pursed and there was a sharp glint in her eyes that made him uneasy. “I just said the other method will be unpleasant.”

He glared at her, “Move along to it, then, I’m not going to give you anything, willingly.”

“I intend to give you a chance. You’ll just have to endure a few more conversations with me before I give up on you.”

“Wonderful,” he sneered, hiding the way his heart jumped at the thought of continuously having to face her. “Are we done yet? I’d like to spend some quiet time fantasizing about different ways I could kill you.”

The only sign his words affected her was a sharp blink that cut through the stoicness of her features, and the slight edge to her voice when she spoke, “Not quite yet.” He gritted his teeth as he glowered at her.

“Tell me about the girl.”

He blinked, his heart jumping, “What happened to her?”

“Han seemed to think you genuinely cared about her.”

“What happened to her?” he growled, anger working to suppress a rising panic. He had left her with Phasma but had felt her break away to try to go after him… did the Order have her still? Could she have been caught by the Resistance?

Was it bad that both of those options filled him with dread? If she was here she would be used as a pawn against him. If she was with the First Order-- without him there to help protect her, help keep her in line… His heart began to pound frantically at the thought. Snoke would want her brought to him. And Snoke would be… harsh... in his methods of breaking her.

“I don't know. She's not with us, unfortunately,” Leia studied his face. “Her force abilities appear… impressive… despite a complete lack of control. I take it she was latent? You awakened her?”

Saying nothing seemed like the best option. Instead he sat, watching his mother with a smoldering glare as she studied him. “Was Han right, Ben? Or are you just being a good dog and bringing back something you thought was interesting to your master?”

“She means nothing to me,” he spat the lie out, feeling a lump in his throat as he spoke. This was a weakness he couldn’t expose, not to _her._

“And yet you charged in, while force suppressed, to save her? Dameron thought you seemed rather… protective... of her.” Leia leaned forward, “I suppose it’s for the best she means _nothing_ to you. Because given what we’ve witnessed of her, it’s likely prudent for her to be eliminated if the choice is between that or letting her fall into Snoke’s-- care.”

He couldn’t stop the snarl that rose from his throat, “Stay away from her.”

His mother’s lips twitched, “But she means nothing to you, Ben. That’s what you just said.”

In a flash of rage all his control was lost and he lunged, hitting the end of the chains and landing in a tangled heap on the floor with the chair and the chains. Leia had pulled back, startled by sudden display of pure fury. Staring up at her, he growled forcefully, “ _She. Is. Mine._ I will kill anyone who hurts her. I will kill anyone who touches her.”

Leia stared down at him a moment before standing, “Will you? That is... enlightening. This is a topic we’ll discuss further once you calmed down and had some time to think.”

Unable to articulate words, he just let out a snarl as he bared his teeth. She turned and walked to the door before turning back, looking down her nose to where he still lay in a heap on the floor, “It’s good to know you’re still capable of caring about _something_ , Ben.”

Without another word she opened the cell door and left.

 

* * *

 

Her head hurt.

She opened her eyes and winced at the harsh overhead lights. She was on a hard bunk built into the wall of a bare cell. Everything was cold grey durasteel, the walls, the bars, the bunk the toilet in the corner. And it was cold, so cold in here. She and brought her knees up to her chest, hugging them for warmth. As she did she noticed that there was a metal bracelet around each of her wrists.

She felt strange, disconnected.

The low hum of the walls around her told her she was on a starship. The cell appeared to be in a small room of it’s own, a door on the opposite wall. Her memories flitted through the haze of her mind, remembering Kylo, the Resistance transport, of the pure panic and rage that exploded out of her at the realization that they were taking him away from her.

Where was he now?

Kriff, where was _she_ now?

The sound of the door across from her cell opening made her jump. She looked up, wide eyed, to see a man in a black uniform entering… a First Order officer’s uniform. Red hair stood out against the black of his uniform’s hat.

She glared at him as he stopped in front of her cell, scrutinizing her with sharp, cold blue eyes. There was something, from the crisp neatness of his uniform to the formality to how he carried himself that put her at unease.

“Well, I take it you’re the girl Ren was so impressed by in his report,” he walked up to stand in front of the bars of her cell. “Rey, I believe?”

She blinked. His voice was softer than she expected, and seemed strangely familiar.

“I apologize for the necessity of this…” the man waved at the bars of the cell. “And for the force cuffs. But given your behavior on Takadona, and the display you gave us at the lakeshore, it seemed prudent.”

“Force cuffs?”

“Suppression cuffs, they disrupt a force user’s ability to connect with the force.”

Glancing down at the cuffs on her wrists, she frowned as she placed his voice, “You were the one Kylo was talking to over the comlink… when we were on Jakku?”

The man cocked his head, looking slightly surprised, “I was.”

“You called my planet a ‘godforsaken sandball’,” she huffed, nostrils flaring.

A barking laugh responded, “I suspect I did. It is one, after all.”

She bared her teeth at him and growled.

“I see Ren wasn’t exaggerating when he used the term feral in regards to you in his report.”

“ _Feral_?”

“I’m sure he meant it affectionately,” the man gave her a condescending smile. “I’m General Armitage Hux. As a guest of the First Order, with Ren not here, you are under my care. Supreme Leader Snoke is quite interested in you, girl.”

She growled again, ‘The Resistance has Kylo?’

Hux sighed, “Unfortunately. We are attempting to determine where he was taken, and if a rescue attempt is possible” He paused, “As of now, he’s no longer your concern.”

“The kriff he isn’t.”

“Oh, but he isn’t. You will remain in this cell, until Supreme Leader asks to see you. And after that what will happen will be Snoke’s decision.”

He sighed as she glared at him, coldly, “Rest assured we intend to try to get Ren back. He’s a rash, temperamental idiot, but he’s our idiot. I will not leave him to be sacrificed if it can be helped. And you will be kept safe and well taken care of until the Supreme Leader makes his decisions about you.”

Her throat felt tight. There was something ominous about that last statement.

“It was nice to meet you, Rey,” Hux said, a touch of amusement to his voice as he turned and left.

She stared at the door for a few minutes before looking around the cell. There was no way out, not that she could see.

And the only thing that felt certain was that she _needed_ to find a way out of here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one was expecting that family reunion to be pleasant, right?
> 
> I'm mean to my characters, separating these two like this.
> 
> XOXOXO for all of your comments, they make me happy and let me know if where the story is going works.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But she’s with the safety of the First Order now. I’m sure you’re happy about that.”
> 
> A hissing breath escaped him impulsively and he cursed himself as her lips twitched into a smile. “I’m sure you’re not afraid of what your benevolent master might do to her?” He gritted his teeth and looked away.
> 
> “You are aware we have a man inside on the Finalizer.”
> 
> He snorted, but proceeded carefully, not wanting to let her know how much or how little they knew of her spy, “If I wasn’t, I certainly became aware once he stabbed me in the shoulder with a syringe.” They had been aware for quite awhile that there seemed like espionage was taking place… but he had to admit no one expected a Stormtrooper. How the Resistance could have gotten through the years of training and programming that a trooper went through and turn him was beyond comprehension.
> 
> It shouldn’t have been possible.
> 
> “We can try to get the girl back for you,” she stared at him intently. “Give us the map and if we can get her we will. And then the two of you can leave, go vanish into the rim together.” She blinked slightly as she spoke the last statement.
> 
> “Unlike your brother, you’re a horrible liar, Mother,” he answered, coldly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still struggling with Bonded so hey, you all are getting another update on this one.

Stormtroopers didn’t have much in the way of privacy. Nor were they granted much in the way of free time. Life was generally a cycle of eating, working, training, eating, and sleeping, no matter what schedule your work shift was on. The barracks deck was divided into small rooms that housed all six members of a squad. It was a rare thing to ever by in the barracks alone.

  
All together, it made espionage exceptionally difficult. Actually getting into secured areas was easy. If you were wearing the white suit, ninety percent of the people you passed just assumed you had orders to be where you were. The only hard part was avoiding the ten percent that would know you were where you weren’t supposed to be or know you weren't where you were supposed to be. It made sneaking into General Hux’s office and making a copy of his security access chip surprisingly simple, since the man had even been kind enough to forget that he’d left it out on his desk completely unsecured. 

He doubted any of them were making mistakes like that now. They knew rogue transmissions were coming from the Finalizer and was certain they knew there was a spy now. Helping set up the ambush at the village by giving them the exact time they were planning their siege had seemed like the last hurrah before he needed to find a way out. But when things didn’t go as planned he managed to let them know there was an attack being planned in order to get Ren off the planet. And when  _ that _ had still failed he’d managed to let them know Ren was still at large and that the Order had not been able to find him yet.

And then Takadona… just by chance that his squad had been one of the ones sent down. And by chance he’d been put into the perfect position to help bring down Ren. As much as he had hated cutting down his squadmates-- and it haunted him still that he had done it-- he was too far gone down the path he’d chosen now to turn back.

The path he’d decided on when he was stationed on Starkiller and he found out exactly what the First Order was building. What they were nearly finished building. A death machine that would be used to wipe out billions.

He made a choice, and his only regret was that he hadn't been able to act sooner. Maybe he would have been able to prevent…

No, he had to keep his mind from going there. That was a black hole he would never pull himself out of and be able to complete what he started. Laying on the bed in the empty barracks and sorting through the data he had spent months collecting. Information he hoped the Resistance would be able to use for their benefit if he made it to them when he ran.

He had been released from the medbay and been taken straight to a debriefing with Phasma. As far as he could tell she wasn't questioning his story, not that he trusted that he was right about that. He didn't trust anyone or anything here anymore. He couldn't, not if he wanted to get of here alive.

After the debriefing he had been released and allowed to return to the barracks. The rest of the squad, the remains of it, anyway, were on duty and would be for the next few hours. It was giving him time to review information he'd stolen from the ship's databanks that he hadn't dared look at while his squadmates were here with him.

He pulled up the report Ren had sent from planetside, detailing everything that had happened and describing, in length, about the girl. As he scanned the details, his eyes rested on one small bit of information, mentioned in passing-  _ some piloting skills. _

Supposedly the girl could fly.

Which was very opportune, since he had promised the Resistance that he’d try to take her with him when he ran. 

And, well, he couldn't fly. It had been a sticking point to any potential escape plan he'd come up with. He couldn't fly a ship. How was he going to get the kriff off a starship without taking a ship to fly away on? He needed a pilot, desperately.

Maybe he got one…

Maybe…

\---

It was hard to track the passage of time in his cell.

He sat cross legged on the floor, meditating, the chair he had woken up lay where he had kicked it across the room once he finally untangled his chains from it. The way he was chained to the floor didn’t allow him to stretch out, so he had slept on and off, curled up on the cold, damp stone. It had probably only been six or seven hours, but it felt longer. His body ached from the restrictions of the chains the inability to stretch.

The rattle of the door startled him, but he managed to not show it. Multiple footsteps indicated there were multiple people entering the room. Resisting the urge to snap his eyes open, he instead continued to hold his meditative pose, breathing in the faint scent of tea, his heart skipping in his chest.

“Didn’t want to face me alone again?” he asked, dryly.

“We need to draw some blood,” her voice was flat of emotion. “If you cooperate we will make things a bit more comfortable for you here.”

Slowly he opened his eyes to look at her coldly, “Why would I need to be made more comfortable with these lovely accommodations?” Doing his best to present a calm demeanor, he glanced at the little party that had come into his room. Two gruff looking guards with a stun blasters stood against the wall behind his mother, and a skittish looking girl with a medic’s bag stood to his mother’s left.

“We’ll change how you’re chained so you can move around,” Leia looked at him calmly. “Or we can stun you and take what we need and leave you as you are now.”

His nostrils flared a moment before he gave a curt nod, feeling his anger spike as his mother’s lips curled slightly at his acquiescence. 

“Charrel, please proceed.”

The skittish girl set the medic’s bag on the floor, opening it and pulling out a syringe and vial, red wavy hair falling over her face as she bent down. When she looked up he met her green eyes with a flat gaze. She hesitated and then walked slowly towards him. It took all his willpower not to smirk at her apprehension, and as she crouched down next to him it was only the fact that it would likely get him stunned that kept him from making a false jump at her just to see her skitter backwards.

Instead he held out his arm, chain clanking. She took his wrist, avoiding looking at him as she turned his arm over to look at his veins. 

“A bit young for a medic. Are they so hard up they’re recruiting children now?” 

The girl nearly dropped his hand, as his voice startled her, then grabbed it tightly again as she looked up to glare at him. “I am not a child, I’m twenty.” He couldn’t help but snort in amusement. “And I am a fully qualified and trained medic.” She jabbed his arm none too gently and drew the blood into the vial. Cocking his head, he noticed bruise marks around her neck.

“Someone left some marks on you,” he said, casually.

Her green eyes flashed up at him again, anger in them, “Your friend did. When she escaped.” She jerked the syringe out and held her thumb firmly against where she’d pierced the vein.

He raised his eyebrows. There hadn’t been any time for him to ask about how Rey had escaped. “Consider yourself lucky it was her and not me, if I had stumbled on you I’d have snapped your neck.”

The young medic let go of his arm and stood, glaring at him a moment before turning and walking back to her bag, adding some liquid to the vial of blood before sealing it tightly.

“The girl could have easily killed Charrel and didn’t,” Leia said, studying his face. “That tells me quite a bit about her.”

“It tells me she didn’t listen when I told her we don’t show our enemies mercy,” he answered, coldly. Next to his mother Charrel stiffened as she sorted out her bag, not at all happy wiht the current conversation. He couldn’t help but feel bad for the girl, she was angry, humiliated, and shaken from whatever had happened, and his mother had just practically made her face and relive it. And it had all been done intentionally so she could bring up Rey’s sparing this girl and gauge his reactions.

“Or she listened and decided for herself what she thought about showing mercy. Even under duress, she made the right choice,” Leia said, calmly. 

“If I have your leave, General, I’d like to take this to the lab,” Charrel cut in, not looking up. 

Leia pursed her lips and he his agitation rose at her willingness to make the kid endure even more of this just so she could have a living prop in the conversation with him. “Fine,” she said, after a minute. 

As the medic left the cell, he addressed the comment his mother had made about Rey making the right choice, “The right choice varies greatly depending on your circumstances and point of view.”

Giving him a cold stare, she turned and nodded at one of the guards, who pulled a long chain out of his bag and walked past him to the back wall and attached it to a bolt on the wall. The second guard had stepped forward as well, keeping his stun blaster trained on him. 

The first guard game over and replaced the cuff currently on his right wrist with the one attached to the new chain. He proceeded to remove the rest of the chains that had bound him to the floor before quickly moving away. Glancing at the length, he supposed the new chain would let him have access to about two thirds of the cell. It would keep him away from the door and any interrogators. He stretched out, leaning back on his elbows as he glared at Leia.

She calmly pulled a chair over, making sure she was out of his reach before nodding at the guards, “You two, go.”

The two guards shared a disgruntled look, clearly not liking leaving her alone with him, but neither dared to disobey her. They quickly vanished through the cell door, leaving him alone with  _ her _ . He felt a wave of panic and he closed his eyes tightly for a moment.

Something hit the ground by his feet and he snapped his eyes open to see a bottle next to his knees. He narrowed his eyes as he looked from it to his mother. She sighed, “Water. You’re already starting to dehydrate, Ben.” When he just continued to glare at her, she lost her composure, snapping, “If I’m going to drug you, I’ll just do it outright. It’s just water.”

He left the bottle where it lay, if only to continue to piss her off, “I’m not thirsty right now.”

Her lips curled as she let out an aggravated sigh, “Fine then.” The chair creaked as she leaned back, “Let’s talk more about this girl…” 

His own lips curled into a feral snarl, “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Oh? Isn’t there?” Her head cocked slightly to the side, “At the end of our last conversation you proclaimed her as yours. And seemed rather-- protective of her.” 

For the moment he just glowered, doing his best not to let her bait him.

“But she’s with the safety of the First Order now. I’m sure you’re  _ happy _ about that.”

A hissing breath escaped him impulsively and he cursed himself as her lips twitched into a smile. “I’m sure you’re not afraid of what your benevolent master might do to her?” He gritted his teeth and looked away. 

“You are aware we have a man inside on the Finalizer.”

He snorted, but proceeded carefully, not wanting to let her know how much or how little they knew of her spy, “If I wasn’t, I certainly became aware once he stabbed me in the shoulder with a syringe.” They had been aware for quite awhile that there seemed like espionage was taking place… but he had to admit no one expected a Stormtrooper. How the Resistance could have gotten through the years of training and programming that a trooper went through and turn him was beyond comprehension.

It shouldn’t have been possible.

“We can try to get the girl back for you,” she stared at him intently. “Give us the map and if we can get her we will. And then the two of you can leave, go vanish into the rim together.” She blinked slightly as she spoke the last statement.

“Unlike your brother, you’re a horrible liar, Mother,” he answered, coldly. “You want to try to turn her.”

There was a flicker of anger across her face, “Maybe we do. But she would be far safer here. And it would be her choice in the end.”

“You’re going to have your man try to get her anyway,” he said with finality. “You don’t want Snoke to have her--”

“We could take care of that by killing her,” Leia’s eyes sat on him coldly.

He fought the rage that rose at that statement, managing to somehow keep himself outwardly calm as he waved his unchained hand and continued where she cut him off, “--and you want her to use against me. So you will try to get her. And I will give you the fact I’m wary of her facing Snoke and the Order alone. But if you think I find much more comfort in the idea of her falling into the hands of your monsters, you’re fooling yourself.”

“My monsters,” she shook her head, almost scoldingly. “My people are good people. You’re the one that’s a monster now.”

“I’m exactly what my dear uncle made me,” he said, voice cold. “And you can ask Rey if she thinks your people are good people. If she thinks the man that attacked her in the shipyard and nearly blew her head off was a good person. Ask her if she thinks Allen was a good person.”

Her eyes closed, wearily, “You could make this so much easier, Ben. All I want is the map.”

“Have you even thought about the fact that he might no longer be there? It’s been six years. All of this, everything you sacrificed, everything you put your people through, all for nothing.” He cocked his head as he saw calm facade she cloaked herself with flicker for a split second with her own doubts.

Then it was gone, “I don’t believe that. He left the clues so people could find him. He’d have come back…” Her voice trailed off, the faintest hint of doubt in her voice, before she shook her head, “I have to  _ try _ .”

A cruel chuckle burst from his throat, “He left his little trail of breadcrumbs because then he could justify his cowardice by saying the force would lead someone to him if he it wanted him to be found. If he decides to leave he’ll justify that by saying the force wanted him to go.”

His mother took a deep breath, anger behind her own eyes, “Luke is a good man.”

He laughed, shaking his head, “No. He isn’t. Maybe he was once, but not in a long time. He was always shrewd and manipulative enough to hide the worst of his actions. And to make sure the ones that couldn’t be hidden didn’t have any direct witnesses to call his account into question.”

She frowned, her eyes narrowing, “You’re trying to manipulate me. It won’t work.”

“Believe what you want,” he said, indifferently. 

Slowly she stood, looking down at him, “We’ll talk again soon.”

“Let’s not.”

“Not your choice, Ben,” she answered, calmly, as she opened the door to leave.

“Yes, you never let me have any before, why start now?”

Her head turned and she shot him a glare over her shoulder as she slipped out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, Finn is fun to write. So are these tense mother/son chats.
> 
> XOXOXO to my commenters and everyone leaving kudos. I still can't believe this fic crossed the 500 kudos mark! Squeeeeeee!


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whispers faded suddenly and he found himself alone with just a single presence, two small but strong arms grasping him in an embrace.
> 
> “Rey,” he whispered. He knew she was no more real than the rest of this. Another figment of his mind. But he closed his eyes, feeling body press against his back.
> 
> “Look,” she pointed ahead as thousands of images played out behind them. Each in it’s own version of the galaxy, each a different reality. Events played out differently in each one between the two of them, but in every one they found each other.
> 
> “Our fates are always intertwined,” she whispered. “We will find each other again. In this galaxy and in all the others.”
> 
> “I miss you, kitten,” he murmured.
> 
> He felt her smile against his ear, “I know.”
> 
> The vision he was in now trembled around him and then shattered, leaving him in a void, Rey’s arms were gone. Only nothing remained. He stood, turning to squint into the void.
> 
> A green light burst blindingly through the emptiness and he stumbled back.
> 
> “You do still live, _boy_ .” His eyes adjusted to the light to see the robed figure walking towards him, mechanical hand gripping the hilt of the lightsaber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a late night, not proofread special. 
> 
> Seriously, I apologize if there are typos galore or it degenerates to rambling. Wanted to post before bed and I got to work tomorrow so... eh, throw it up and ninja edit later ;)

Her head shot up as the door across from her cell opened.

Since her initial meeting with General Hux, no one had come save for a service droid that had delivered her a polystarch loaf of bread to eat and some water. She tensed as the redhead entered, flanked by two stormtroopers.

“The Supreme Leader has requested to speak with you,” Hux said as he glanced at one of the troopers and nodded towards the cell door.

The trooper walked over and opened her cell. Her eyes darted from the door to the trooper to Hux who continued to watch her calmly.

“Get up,” a gruff, mechanical voice came through the stormtrooper’s helmet.

She gritted her teeth, “And if I don’t?”

The trooper’s head tipped down a moment in what seemed like surprise, then took a threatening step towards her. She tensed, but the General cleared his throat and the trooper froze, looking over his shoulder. Hux said nothing, just nodded opposite direction from her cell. For a moment the trooper looked back at her, and even without being able to see his face or eyes she was sure he was angry at her insubordination. He turned and left the cell as Hux walked forward, his head cocked slightly at her as his blue eyes seemed to see through her. She tensed as he approached and stood in front of where she sat on the cell’s bunk, looking down at her.

“Rey, let me be as simple and clear as possible,” he said, voice calm. “You will come with me, because the Supreme Leader has requested your presence. And if you don’t, you will be dragged there. No one denies Snoke, especially not you.”

A scowl crossed her face as she glared up at Hux. To her surprise he crouched down in front of her so they were both eye level, “I am going to try to help you here. Your instincts are telling you to fight and push back against us because you’re frightened and trapped. Once you enter that room you need to ignore those instincts. Be obedient, speak when spoken to, be polite. I may be willing to tolerate your attitude, but _he_ will not.”

She swallowed nervously as he stood back up again stepping to the side and waiting for her to get up. Slowly she got to her feet, looking at Hux nervously as he gestured towards the cell door. Walking out and up to the stormtroopers, who turned and led the way out the door and down the hall. She fell in step behind them, Hux following behind her.

As they walked she studied the corridors, taking note of the limited view she was now getting of the Star Destroyer. It wasn’t likely, but if there was even a chance that something she saw along the way would help her in an escape attempt later she needed to be aware of everything now.

They reached a large doorway and the troopers split to stand on either side of it. Hux stepped forward, and she could sense his tension as the door opened and he stepped into the large, darkened chamber. She followed him in as he led the way to a raised dias, feeling confused. The room was empty.

Light shimmered as a giant hologram appeared on the dias. A surprised squeak left her throat and she took a step back, only to have her back meet Hux’s hand. Hux shot her a cautioning look as the hologram of the towering being leaned forward, eyes locked on to her.

“General,” the hologram spoke, not looking away from her as he addressed Hux. “I take it this is our new… guest?”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“You are a curious one, aren’t you, girl? The force _is_ strong in you.” Snoke’s eyes narrowed as he looked her up and down, “Tell me your name.”

She flicked her eyes at Hux, but he stood looking straight ahead. If Hux had known her name, surely Snoke did as well? Fighting down the urge to ask him why he was asking something he already knew, she instead just spoke softly, “Rey.”

“And your family name?” his voice had the slightest rasp to it. It reminded her of sand scraping against the metal frame of a ship.

“F-family name?” she asked, unsure of what he meant. “I don’t know my family, my name is just Rey.”

Snoke’s lips twitched into a smile, “I have heard much about you, just Rey of Jakku. Kylo Ren found you quite interesting.”

She swallowed nervously, “Do you know where he is?”

Hux took a sharp intake of breath next to her and Snoke’s eyes narrowed, “He is not your concern.”

Her hands clenched, her nails digging into her palms, “He is very much my con-” her words were cut off as she fell to her knees, pain coursing through body. She let out a shriek, hands gripping her head.

Then it stopped, Snoke’s voice spoke down at her, “You seem rather… attached… to Kylo Ren. I think it’s time you tell me everything that happened during your time together.” His giant hand reached towards her slightly and her vision went white as the pressure built in her head till it felt like it was going to explode. It was a similar pain to when Kylo had ripped memories from her mind, but far far worse. She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. The pain was all consuming.

And then it was gone. She blinked tears from her eyes, trying to focus as she gasped for breath. The floor was cold under her and she realized she was sprawled on her stomach. Hux stood stock still next to her, gaze determinedly away from her. Slowly she pushed herself back onto her knees, lifting her head to meet the gaze of the hologram. It was cold and calculating.

“It seems he was becoming rather _attached_ to you as well,” there was a touch of distaste in his voice. The hologram’s fingers tapped across his knee before turning his attention to Hux. “General, have we determined Ren’s location?”

“We tracked a Resistance reconnaissance ship to the Illenium system. We suspect this is their base is, and where Ren likely was taken.” Her eyes shot over to look at the General. Hux paused, his voice sounding unhappy as he continued, “Breaching their security in a rescue attempt will be difficult.”

Snoke’s fingers continued to tap against his knee as he looked down at her. “Potential. You will be stronger than even he is… but it will take time.” She stared up at him, brow furrowing in confusion. He turned his attention to Hux, a raspy sigh escaping him, “The loss will be regrettable, but the risk is too great. We must not let the Resistance find Skywalker. Return to Starkiller at once and charge the weapon. We will eliminate the threat once and for all.” His gaze turned back to her, “And then you will bring the girl to me.”

Realization hit her slowly… she didn’t know what weapon they were talking about, but eliminate the threat… the loss would be regrettable...he was… they were… “NO!” she shrieked, trying to stand. Hux glanced at her and let out a warning hiss. Snoke, however, just laughed.

“It’s a pity to lose someone of Ren’s talents, but sacrifices sometimes must be made.” He waved a hand dismissively, “The two of you would have been separated in any case, such… affection… between the two of you would have not been allowed to continue.” He chuckled, “I look forward to meeting you in person, just Rey of Jakku.”

The hologram shimmered and vanished, she was left staring at the empty dias, mouth open. A hand gripped her shoulder, pulling her back towards towards the door, “Come on, damn you.”

She jerked backwards out of Hux’s grip, “You said you intended to try to get him back!”

A rough sigh escaped his lips, “It’s not up to me, girl. The decision was made.”

“How can you just… just leave him?” she fought the tears welling in her eyes. “It isn’t right! You don’t like it, I can tell you don’t!”

Hux huffed, and suddenly grabbed her shoulders, spinning her and shoving her backwards until her back slammed into the wall next to the door, “What I like, or what you like, doesn’t matter. This is war, decisions, often unfortunate decisions need to be made.” His hand shot out and slapped the access panel next to her, and she found herself shoved into the hands of one of the stormtroopers still waiting outside the door. “Take her to the cell and make sure she’s secured,” he snapped as he turned and strode away down the hallway.

The trooper gave her a small shove the opposite direction, “Move.”

She growled, stumbling forward. Regaining her balance she shot the trooper a glare before falling in step behind the other trooper. For a moment she sized up her chances on getting away, before she let the thought go. She’d only manage to get herself killed.

As they walked she once again studied the corridors of the ship.

She needed to find a way out of here, and soon.

 

* * *

 

The clang of the his door opening startled him from a fitful sleep. Two guards stepped in first, leveling their stun blasters at him, ordering him to sit against the rear wall of his cell.

He stayed where he was, sitting up and resting his hands on his knees as he glared defiantly at the guards. They glanced at each other before looking at the door as _she_ entered, folding her arms and looking down at him. For a moment he felt like he was five and being scolded for being disobedient.

“I’m comfortable here,” he said, tapping his hands on his knees.

“Sit against the wall, Ben.”

“Why should I do that?” he asked, expression calm and flat. She stared back, face as flat as his was. They were both very good at hiding their emotions, at least until you found your way through one of the chinks in their armor. The facade always fell away quick.

He loathed to admit it, but he was his mother’s son. He always had been. With just enough of his father in him to make him a bit reckless.

“Because your other option is to be stunned.”

Raising his eyebrows, he shrugged, “Then get on with it.”

“Being obstinate on this is pointless,” she said, the tiniest bit of aggravation creeping into her voice.

He smirked, “It’s aggravating you. Maybe that is the point.”

Her nostrils flared and for a moment her brown eyes flashed with anger, before she looked away, a warning edge to her voice, “You want to save your strength, Ben.”

Narrowing his eyes, he studied her for a moment, debating if it was worth it to force them to stun him just to continue to piss her off. After a minute he stood up and walked to the wall, sitting down with his back against it.

She turned and nodded out into the hallway, and two men came in, wrestling a heavy chair that they brought in and secured to the floor in the brackets he had originally been chained to. Fear tightened his chest and he forced himself to not let his breathing change, not let his expression change. The metal chair had restraints built into it. He’d interogated enough prisoners to know an interogation chair when he saw it.

“Giving up so quickly?” he asked her, eyes burning.

“My hand is being forced now,” she answered, nodding to the chair as the men who brought it left and the guards stepped back. “Sit down.”

Slowly he got up, walking over to the chair and sitting down. With a click, the restrains fell into place over his wrists and ankles. She walked over to look down at him, “Give us the map, Ben. None of this needs to happen.”

“Go to hell.”

She blew an angry breath out her nostrils. For a moment she just stared at him, hesitating, before turning to someone outside the door, “Give him the serum.”

A man walked in with a syringe in hand. He tensed against the restraints as the man approached, looking at his mother, “What are you giving me?” The restraints left him little room to move his arm, leaving him unable to fight as the man found a vein and injected him.

Leia pursed her lips, “Something to make you a bit more pliable. A psychotropic that’s… infused with the force, if you will.”

He began to blink, his cell suddenly seeming larger, distorted somewhat. Sounds reverberated in his ears. Flaring his nostrils, he fought against the effect of the drug, “ _Infused_ with the force, what the kriff does that mean?”

“It’s made using a force-sensitive’s blood,” her voice seemed too loud. His stomach was twisting in knots as he pulled against the restraints. “In this case, your blood. It makes your mind easier to link to by another force user.”

His head lolled against his chest as the room seemed to blur, he tried to fight it, reminding himself this was the effect of the drug. He struggled to make sense of her words.

Her voice seemed to echo through his entire being now, “We used my blood in the past. The few interrogations that we resorted to it, we found it worked quite well. I was able to retrieve what we were looking for.”

Vaguely he was aware of her turning to leave, but it was hard to focus on anything. There were whispers, and they were growing louder, echoing in his mind.

“It’ll take a few hours to take full effect, I’ll be back then.”

A soft groan was the only reply he could give her. He was losing himself into his own mind, whispers of ghosts, of the dead, those he lost, those he killed, seemed to surround him. As she left the room he closed his eyes, his mind racing as he floated somewhere between sleep and consciousness.

Terror filled him, the dead were in his mind with him.

 

* * *

 

The whispers swirled around him like storm.

Faces of the dead, friends and enemies, seemed to swirl past him in a blur, their voices overlapping in hushed tones. There were those who had died fighting by his side, friends, allies, long since lost. But more, so many more, were those who died by his orders, by his saber, by his hand. Those who were slain in battle, executed with prejudice, tortured and disposed of.

They surrounded him. So many. How had death undone so many?

“I saved you once,” a voice spoke behind him. He spun, his heart jumping into his throat as he recognized him. Jol, who had been so young and talented at force healing, stood before him, a scorched gash ran from his shoulder to his hip. A lightsaber wound, he didn’t have to look close to know. His saber had left it.

“And this is what you repaid me with,” the ghost gestured at his wound.

He swallowed, shaking his head, “I did… I did what I had to do. I tried… I tried to get you to see. You knew. So many of you knew he had to be stopped. If you had joined me, maybe it wouldn’t have come to…” he choked on his own words, turning away, only to find a broken and burned body in front of him.

“Perhaps I would have been on your side if you hadn’t stolen from me,” Ridu looked at him with one remaining eye. He had died when the temple had been razed and burned. For a moment, everything shifted to a scene he remembered too well.

_“Why would you run? Why would you betray me?” his uncle circled the kneeling figure of Ridu, who was no more than nineteen at the time. Skywalker had tracked him after he had fled, just wanting to get away, wanting to escape._

_But no one was ever allowed to just leave his uncle’s tutelage. No one ever left Luke’s Order. Ridu hadn’t been the first, nor would he be the last, to try to run. Luke always found them._

_“I… don’t want to be a Jedi. I just, just want to go home,” the kneeling boy looked frantically between his uncle and him._

_“We are your home.” Skywalker’s voice was soft, almost gentle. “We are your family.” His uncle’s blue eyes turned towards the eighteen year old version of himself, who stood looking down at his feet. “Ben is going to help you see.”_

_The younger version of himself flinched, “Uncle… is it really necessary?”_

_“Yours is not the place to question,” Luke snapped, his eyes flashing dangerously. He waved his hand over Ridu’s head and the boy collapsed into a heap. Young Ben walked over, gently placing his hand on Ridu’s forehead, pulling the troublesome memories, the ones of him questioning, the ones that caused him to question, from his mind, erasing them._

_When young Ben stood, Skywalker walked over, placing a hand on his shoulder, “It’s better this way. If it was left to me, I would have had to wipe him cleanly, but you… your skills, they allow him to remain himself.”_

_His younger self said nothing, not bold or crazy enough to challenge the man next to him. But even then he knew that he had stolen part of what Ridu had been. Taken it and thrown it away, leaving someone more obedient and pliant in his place._

He looked down, trembling, feeling the dead closing in. Falling to his knees he gripped his head, a small part of himself whispering that none of this was real. It was a drug affecting his mind, causing him to hallucinate. But most of him shook in terror as his tally of sins closed in around him.

The whispers faded suddenly and he found himself alone with just a single presence, two small but strong arms grasping him in an embrace.

“Rey,” he whispered. He knew she was no more real than the rest of this. Another figment of his mind. But he closed his eyes, feeling body press against his back.

“Look,” she pointed ahead as thousands of images played out behind them. Each in it’s own version of the galaxy, each a different reality. Events played out differently in each one between the two of them, but in every one they found each other.

“Our fates are always intertwined,” she whispered. “We will find each other again. In this galaxy and in all the others.”

“I miss you, kitten,” he murmured.

He felt her smile against his ear, “I know.”

The vision he was in now trembled around him and then shattered, leaving him in a void, Rey’s arms were gone. Only nothing remained. He stood, turning to squint into the void.

A green light burst blindingly through the emptiness and he stumbled back.

“You do still live, _boy_.” His eyes adjusted to the light to see the robed figure walking towards him, mechanical hand gripping the hilt of the lightsaber.

Skywalker… He seemed more real than anything else he’d encountered in this hallucination. A projection rather than a vision.

“I suspected, but to feel you… to feel you calling out into the force like a beacon…” Skywalker pushed his hood back to reveal an older and more haggard face, a shaggy beard and unkempt hair making him look more insane than he already knew him to be. Raising the lightsaber, Luke pointed it at his chest, menacingly, “The Force screams for retribution. I am coming for you, boy. I am coming. This debt you have earned will be paid back in blood.”

“And Force damn anyone who tries to get in my way…” Skywalker growled, raising the saber and lunging, the downward strike of the blade bearing down on him…

 

* * *

 

He jerked back into full consciousness, heart pounding and mind spinning, arms straining against the restraints. The room seemed wrong, reality seemed thin. The force was there, in him, but he couldn’t touch it, couldn’t access it, instead it just flared off of him, lighting up his mind…

Which was the point of this wasn’t it?

Fighting against the drug, he concentrated on his minds walls, shoring up a small, hidden pocket as best he could, storing away the memory of the map. The large map that was just missing a piece. It was difficult, his mind spinning and refusing to focus, but he forced his way through it.

She wasn’t going to take it from him. Not without a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few thoughts...
> 
> Hux is... kind of neutral in this fic. He genuinely loathes the idea of leaving Ren behind and possibly killing him with the rest of the Resistance, but he's got orders and he will follow them. And he was doing his best to be patient with Rey in the beginning. 
> 
> Snoke is a cruel, pragmatic asshole. He probably would have chosen to sacrifice Kylo even if he didn't have Rey to eventually be his replacement, but her being there made the decision easier for him.
> 
> I'm pretty sure the serum concept I created is not how the force works, but it is now for this fic. Leia is not trained in mind invasion, so they've used a version of this made with her blood as a way to make it easier for her to get in to the person she was interrogating's mind. Kylo is going to be much harder to deal with.
> 
> Kylo is now high out of his mind and hallucinating, doing his best though to pull it together. Luke at the end though... well, maybe he was just a part of the hallucination, or maybe he wasn't :P
> 
> I also hope it was clear in the memory with Ridu, but Luke did not allow anyone to leave his order. He preferred to mind wipe (and if possible use Ben to selectively mind wipe them of just the troublesome memories) anyone who tried to leave.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As she tried to gain ground again, he pushed the memory of her sending him away. She faltered again, his thirteen year old voice echoing in both of their heads as he screamed _“I hate you!”_ at her.
> 
> Blinking she shook her head, “Just give me the map.” Clenching her teeth, she shoved her way in growing closer to his hiding place as he pulled more of his own memories out to force at her.
> 
> Himself after she sent him to Luke, crying himself to sleep night after night.
> 
> Her fists clenched. But he could feel her determination, refusing to break.
> 
> From the depths of his mind he grabbed a memory from when he was very little, crying from a nightmare. He had crawled into bed with her, and she had pulled him close, comforting him and soothing him. Kissing the top of his head, she had whispered that the bad dreams couldn’t hurt him, because she was there, and she would always keep him safe.
> 
> She ripped herself out of his mind, the two of them gasping for breath as they met each other's eyes. Her eyes were wet.
> 
> So were his.
> 
> “And you accuse _me_ of being a liar,” he whispered.

The sound of the door opening broke her out of a fitful sleep. She sat up, instinctively looking around her for a weapon before she remembered where she was. Gripping the side of the bed she glared at the approaching stormtrooper as he walked over to her cell door and unlocked it.

“You need to come with me,” his voice clipped mechanically through his helmet as he walked over and grabbed her upper arm, pulling her roughly to her feet.

“Why… what?” She started to ask, trying to break out of his grasp. The trooper gripped tighter, pulling her along into the hallway and down a different corridor than she had been taken last time. Other troopers passing by paid no attention to them at all.

When they reached an empty corridor she saw an opportunity… there was only the one trooper with her and no one around. Without warning, she slammed herself into him, leading with her shoulder. The trooper let out a startled sound, staggering back. She whirled and bolted down the hallway, ignoring the yell behind her and the heavy footfalls as he chased after her.

Reaching a junction, she hesitated, just for a second, as she tried to decide which way to go. It was a second too long, the trooper was on her, slamming her into a door on the opposite wall and slapping a hand over her mouth as she yelped.

“You're going to draw attention to us!” he hissed, opening the door she was pinned against and pushing her hard into the room away from him.

She staggered backwards. It was a small storage room and it only took a few steps before her back hit the opposite wall.

“Can you fly a TIE fighter?” he asked.

She blinked in confusion, “What?”

The trooper pulled off his helmet, revealing a dark skinned face and brown eyes that were surprisingly soft, “This is a rescue. Can you fly a TIE fighter?”

A rescue? She stared at the man, wondering if this was some kind of trick. Why would a complete stranger be rescuing her?

He let out an aggravated breath, “We don't have a lot of time. We need to get off this ship before it jumps to hyperspace. Can you--”

“I've flown them in a flight simulator,” she blurted out. “Well, old Empire ones, at least. It was an old simulator.”

A disconcerted look crossed his face as he processed her words. After minute he shrugged, spreading his hands slightly, “That’ll have to do. It's a hell of a lot more experience than I have.”

Her brow furrowed, “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Are you doing this?”

He stilled, shifting nervously, “I’m…” Slowly, he took a step towards her, “I’m working with the Resistance.”

Her whole body went tense and her eyes widened, darting a quick look to the side, wondering if she could run. As much as she wanted to get away from the First Order, she sure as kriff wasn’t about to hand herself over to the monsters in the Resistance.

“Hey,” he raised his hands up, palms out, “just calm down, alright? Just calm down.”

“I’m not going with you,” she growled, fists clenching.

“Look...” she stared at him as he continued, “I need a pilot. I can’t get the hell off this ship without a pilot. Get me out of here and drop me off where I can catch a ride to Resistance space and then go wherever you want, I don’t care.”

She frowned, biting her bottom lip. He let out an exasperated breath, “I could of lied, you know? I could of just said I wanted out of the Order. If I was going to try to trick you or trap you, why would I have told you the truth?” There was a tiny bit of desperation growing in his voice. “I think you _should_ come with me. I trust the Resistance. But I’m not going to make you.”

Part of her wanted to trust him. His desperation seemed genuine, as did his fear. And in the end, she didn’t exactly have many options. Slowly she nodded, speaking softly, “Okay.”

“Okay?” he nodded, eyes wide and searching her face. “Okay? We’re doing this?”

Her lips stretched with a hint of a smile, “We’re doing this.”

A grin broke across his face and he nodded, a mixture of excitement and anxiety pouring off of him, “Okay. Okay.”

“I don’t know your name,” she said.

“Eff…” he started then stopped, swallowing before he started talking again. “Finn. My name is Finn.”

“I’m Rey,” her smile grew.

He grinned again, picking up his helmet, “I know.” His helmet clipped into place, and he reached out and gripped her arm, “Follow my lead.”

 

* * *

 

The sound of the door opening grounded him.

He had been floating again in the surface of his mind. It was a churning sea, memories flowing upward and agitating the surface, leaving him drowning in his own memories, watching scenes play out as the ghosts haunted and hunted him. But the sound of the door brought him back, and the scent of tea kept him there. Concentrating on those tangible things around him, the hard metal of the chair, the feeling of the restraints around his wrists and ankles, the feeling of a solid floor under his feet. The sounds of his own breathing. The feel of his chest as it rose and fell.

She pulled a chair over, the sound reverberating loudly in his head. Slowly she sat down in front of him, and he felt a gentle push of a mind against his own. Latching on to the force that was sparking and flashing through his mind, he found himself unable to stop her.

“Show me the map, Ben,” the only emotion that slipped through was determination.

He concentrated on her presence, on wrapping his mind around hers and shoving, trying to push her back. But his mind was weakened and distracted, unable to focus enough energy to move her. The only reason he knew he had any effect on her at all was a strained exhale of breath as she concentrated and struggled against his resistance before pushing further inward.

_the map show me show me the map show me the map show me show me_

No, he kept his mind away from the little hidden pocket he’d stowed the memory in. Lesser adversaries might have slipped, the words she whispered into their minds drawing the memory to the surface. But not him, no, he had been on both sides of mind manipulation. He knew what she was trying to do, and he knew the ways to fight it. The state of his mind made it more difficult as his thoughts and memories tried to pull him under the surface, but he fought. He fought the undertow. Fought to keep himself firmly grounded in the room he sat in.

She pushed a little harder and he winced as a sharp pain spread behind his eyes. The way the drug had the force channeling through him was creating pathways, and she slipped down them. He erected barrier after barrier and she slowly pushed through them, searching her way through, still whispering into his mind.

_just show me the map show it to me and this can be over_

Pain increased as she struggled deeper, churning up his thoughts, trying to find what she wanted.

_you hid it where where did you hide it just show me ben_

He took a deep breath as she started to scour through the corners of his mind, coming close to his hidden pocket more than once. A twinge of fear began to grow, she was getting closer.

“It’s close, isn’t it?” she murmured. He gritted his teeth, his anxiety and fear was giving him away.

She was very close. None of his barriers he erected did more than make her strain slightly. A wave of desperation grew, he wasn’t going to be able to stop her.

Suddenly, he grabbed a memory of Luke cutting down a man as he tried to surrender and shoved it to the surface, shoved it _at_ her. A startled inhale of breath and a faltering of her mind as it wormed its way through his let him know she had seen it. He felt a tinge of disbelief from her… she didn’t trust that it was real.

Grabbing memories, he began to bombard her with them. Memories of his uncle violently disciplining those of his students who stepped out of line. Memories of himself being forced to aggressively extract information from so many, at his uncle’s orders. Of himself being beaten for some violation or another.

She pulled back before steadying herself, “Lies… you’re creating them to protect the map.”

He gritted his teeth, “Believe what you want.”

As she tried to gain ground again, he pushed the memory of her sending him away. She faltered again, his thirteen year old voice echoing in both of their heads as he screamed _“I hate you!”_ at her.

Blinking she shook her head, “Just give me the map.” Clenching her teeth, she shoved her way in growing closer to his hiding place as he pulled more of his own memories out to force at her.

Himself after she sent him to Luke, crying himself to sleep night after night.

Her fists clenched. But he could feel her determination, refusing to break.

From the depths of his mind he grabbed a memory from when he was very little, crying from a nightmare. He had crawled into bed with her, and she had pulled him close, comforting him and soothing him. Kissing the top of his head, she had whispered that the bad dreams couldn’t hurt him, because she was there, and she would always keep him safe.

She ripped herself out of his mind, the two of them gasping for breath as they met each other's eyes. Her eyes were wet.

So were his.

“And you accuse _me_ of being a liar,” he whispered.

Looking away, she stood up. There were two guards behind her and she turned to them, “Undo the chair restraints, we…” she took a deep breath, “we will have to do another session with a stronger dose of the serum.”

The guards glanced at each other before one of them walked over and released the chair restraints. “General?” one asked.

“I’m fine,” she snapped, clasping her hands together, trying to mask how they were shaking before opening the cell door and leaving in a hurry, the guards following behind her. The door locked, leaving him alone.

Stumbling to his feet, he staggered away from the chair, nearly tripping over the chain that still held him to the far wall. Collapsing on the floor, he curled slightly up before falling to unconsciousness.

 

* * *

 

The ship was a maze. She lost track of the corridors they had passed through, winding their way through more and more crowded areas of the ship. The hangar was filled willed with troopers, officers, and maintenance workers, and her heart leaped into her throat as Finn pushed her through the crowd.

“Stay calm, stay calm,” he muttered behind her.

“That’s not helping me stay calm,” she answered, voice quiet.

“Sorry, I was talking to myself.”

She glanced over her shoulder at his helmet, thanks for calming her nerves with _that_ confidence boost. He pushed her towards a TIE fighter in the main floor of the hangar, “Okay, get in… hurry…”

Scrambling inside, she stared at the controls both feeling wowed and intimidated. It was similar to the old Empire models, but different enough to make her feel a little uncertain. Falling into the pilot’s seat, she scanned over the controls. The controls, at least, were similar enough that she thought she’d be okay.

At least she hoped so.

Finn jumped into the gunners seat behind her. “You know how to shoot?” she asked, flipping a few switches, getting ready to start the engines.

“Blasters I do…”

She looked over at him, “Um… it’s probably similar, right?”

He stared at the controls with a slightly panicked look on his face, “I… it looks complicated.”

“Figure it out, quick,” she answered, flipping the engines to life and lifting the fighter from the bay floor. She started to move but suddenly their momentum stopped suddenly. To her horror she realized they were still tethered to a fueling cable.

First Order soldiers were already charging their direction. She hammered the throttle and twisted, trying to break free.

“Can you shoot the fuel cable?” she shouted at Finn.

“Um… I think… I… I’ll try!”

She kept applying torque to the cable, but the fighter rocked as it began to take blaster fire. Finn fumbled with the gunner controls before he unleashed a volley of bolts with little aim or control, sending men diving for cover. He swung his aim towards the cable, and after several shots, one finally hit it, severing it partially.

Twisting the ship side ways while laying on the throttle, the cable snapped. The fighter veered free and she barely got control back and it stabilized before she spun into the hangar bay wall. She hammered the throttle to full and sped out the bay door into open space. They were in a small planetary system, a gas giant and a few moons were nearby.

A volley of weapons fire met them, she maneuvered the best she could, dodging the fire, “Try to take out the ventral cannons!”

Finn took aim as they made a pass by the rear cannons, opening a barrage of fire and blowing the guns to bits. “Yes!”

“Nice shooting!” she shouted in encouragement, before looking down at the sensors and wincing. “We have company!”

Several TIEs were coming to engage them. She swung towards one of the moons. It had an atmosphere and it might be possible to skip the TIE through it and slingshot away with extra momentum.

Before she could make it, a bolt clipped the TIE’s wing, destabilizing it and sending it spinning violently towards the moon. They breached the atmosphere, ship shaking around them as she lost consciousness.

 

* * *

 

He awoke with his head throbbing, standing up and looking around, the ruins of the TIE smoking on the rocky cliff. Taking a gasping breath, he thanked the maker that this moon had a breathable atmosphere.

Stumbling towards the wreckage, he found the girl unconscious next to it. He knelt next to her, shaking her gently, “Hey… you okay?” A soft moan was the only response. Turning her over, he winced at the blood soaking the hair on the back of her head. Looking up, he heard the sound of TIE fighters entering the atmosphere.

Coming to search for them.

They were kriffed, weren’t they?

Grabbing the girl gently in his arms, he staggered to his feet. The terrain was rocky and steep. Loose rocks slid under his feet as he climbed up the steep hills.

They needed to get out of sight.

A crack in a cliff face caught his attention, and he went closer. It was narrow but large enough to squeeze through, and there appeared to be a cave behind it. He set the girl… Rey… her name was Rey… down, and pushed her through the crack as gently as he could. There wasn’t enough room for him to get through while carrying her. Once she was in he followed.

The cave was big enough for him to stand, and he picked Rey up again, carrying them both in deeper, till the light from the outside was nearly gone. He set her down on the ground and sat against the cave wall, leaning his head back.

No water, no food, no ship, and the First Order bound to send a squad down to search for them.

Yeah, they were completely and utterly kriffed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XOXOXO for all the comments and kudos. Love you all.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke had left, vanished. They had drifted apart before that, he had his focus, his singular focus, on his new Jedi Order. A few meetings over the years, a few communications, when they would need each other’s help. Beyond that he had almost become the myth everyone else whispered about, even to her.
> 
> But he had left, left when she needed him the most. When they would have needed each other the most. She would have been there to help him. They could have faced the darkness together. Instead he had vanished, as if he really was just a story, just a myth, and not her brother.
> 
> And Han… she had pushed him away. Unable to take the silent rebuke he seemed to deliver with every breath. For her decision with what to do about Ben when it had become clear his powers, and his growing lack of control of his emotions, were beyond anything they could do to help him. Han had left the hard decisions for her and then had fought it when she made them, and his resentment had just been left between them to fester.
> 
> The hard decisions, they always ended up falling on her to make. She refused to regret the choices she made, the necessary choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, rapid fire updates. Hacked out 2800 words or so here yesterday.
> 
> Wanted to give people a glimpse of Leia, touch base with Han, and then get ourselves back Finn and Rey.

Her emotions were everywhere.

Sitting in her office, lights dimmed, steam rising from her teacup in front of her on her desk, she fought to get herself back under control. Get herself centered once again. Not let her emotions rule her.

Papers were spread across the desk, bad news, more bad news. The strain the Resistance had been under now for the last few years had been reaching the breaking point even before what had happened in the Hosnian system.

Happened _to_ the Hosnian system.

The New Republic, or rather the remains of it, were still reeling, but it was only a matter of time before the broken remnants began to drift apart. The First Order had effectively obliterated the central hub that held the weak central government and shaky alliances together. The chaos was already starting, as systems began to realize there was nothing binding them to one another anymore. And as they realized the threat of death hanging over all of them from the First Order.

The support from the Republic towards her organization had always been tepid at best, but it had been support. It had kept them afloat through the worst of times. Let them stay the lone guardian against the growing dark.

That was gone now. She had thought she was standing alone in the dark before, but now… now she was completely and utterly alone. One by one, the people in her life had left her.

Or been driven away, if she would be honest with herself.

Luke had left, vanished. They had drifted apart before that, he had his focus, his singular focus, on his new Jedi Order. A few meetings over the years, a few communications, when they would need each other’s help. Beyond that he had almost become the myth everyone else whispered about, even to her.

But he had left, left when she needed him the most. When they would have needed each other the most. She would have been there to help him. They could have faced the darkness together. Instead he had vanished, as if he really was just a story, just a myth, and not her brother.

And Han… she had pushed him away. Unable to take the silent rebuke he seemed to deliver with every breath. For her decision with what to do about Ben when it had become clear his powers, and his growing lack of control of his emotions, were beyond anything they could do to help him. Han had left the hard decisions for her and then had fought it when she made them, and his resentment had just been left between them to fester.

The hard decisions, they always ended up falling on her to make. She refused to regret the choices she made, the necessary choices.

And then there was Ben. Being in the same room with him as his eyes burned at her in hatred had tore at her soul. Talking to him as he spat venom at her, and then later as he began to shrewdly and calculatingly measure his responses as to better her, was more harrowing than she liked to admit.

_And you accuse me of being a liar._

She winced, his words haunting her.

It was a given he would be harder to interrogate with the mind probe, he knew the techniques, he’d used them himself. The serum made his mind pliable and weakened his will, but apparently it hadn’t been strong enough, since he had thrown barrier and barrier in front of her. And then… well, she hadn’t expected him to chose to fight her as he had done.

The memories… the _fake_ memories… they had to be fake, an attempt to turn her away

from her mission to find her brother and get his help. Luke wasn't like the glimpses Ben had put in her mind… he couldn't be. He was her brother, for the maker’s sake. She knew him well enough to know he wouldn't have done the things Ben had shown her.

Didn't she?

And the other memories, the real ones, had cut a hole in her soul. His screaming that he hated her when they sent him to Luke… those words had never left her mind in all the time since. And to hear them and see it play out again had…

Well, it had been horrible. Coupled with the memory of him crying, alone…

And then the memory of her hugging him, telling him she would always keep him safe. Why did that one hurt so much? Everything she had done had been about keeping him safe. About helping him before it was too late. Luke had been the only option, she couldn’t do it herself, she could barely keep up with her own work. And Han? Han was too reckless to help anyone, much less a force powerful boy with anger issues.

She and Han could not have helped him stay away from the temptation of the darkness. Even Luke had been unable to do that. If he hadn’t, how could they have done so?

The idea of entering Ben’s mind again made her feel slightly panicked. A stronger version of the serum would help, but…

She shook her head, looking down at the report in front of her. There may not ever be a next time, not if the information in Fulcrum’s last transmission was correct. The schematics for the weapon he’d sent were already being analyzed, but there wasn’t going to be a lot of time if they really were the next target. Assuming there was anything they could do, anyways, other than run. Closing her eyes, she rubbed her temples to ease the growing tension headache.

“You look like hell,” a gruff voice spoke.

Her head shot up, she hadn’t even heard the door open.

He stood looking down at her from the doorway. “You’re one to talk,” she answered, meeting his eyes. A crooked smile was the only response. She shook her head, a small smile on her face, as she regarded her husband. He always could get to her with just a look. Nodding towards the chair on the opposite side of her desk, “You can sit down. If you want.”

“Feels like you’ve been avoiding me,” Han said as he sat down across from her.

“I've got a lot going on,” she answered, not meeting his eyes as she said it. Avoiding might be too direct a term, but his presence had been something she hadn’t exactly wanted to deal with yet. It had been nearly three years. His message out of blue that Ben was with him and they were heading down to Takadona had come out of nowhere.

The crooked smile widened, “Of course you do, you always do.”

She sighed, “What do you want, Han?”

“How’s Ben?”

Tensing, she looked away, “Alive and uncooperative.”

“I’d like to talk to him.”

She looked up sharply, “Absolutely not.”

“He’s my son, too, Leia.”

“He’s volatile. He threatened to kill both of us at least once. There’s nothing good that would come of it.”

Han frowned at her, for a moment looking like he was going to push further, and then averted his gaze. “What about the girl he was with?”

Looking down at the transmission from Fulcrum on her datapad, possibly the last one, unless the man was able to make it off the ship and to Resistance space without being caught. He’d detailed the plans for the Finalizer to return to Starkiller, with the Illenium system as their next target for the super weapon. Along with that he’d sent the schematics for Starkiller and the note that he would be attempting to break the girl out as part of his escape.

There’d been no contact since. Which could mean a hundred of things, from complete failure to success but not able to risk breaking com silence and giving away their position. Or a thousand scenarios that fell in between.

“We had a man on the Finalizer, he was going to attempt to break her out. She was in the ship’s brig.” She sighed, “No word of success or failure. The Finalizer was heading to their base.”

Han grimaced, “Did you tell Ben they had her locked up?”

She shrugged, “No. I didn’t know anything earlier other than that she was in their custody.”

“He likes that girl.”

“I discussed her with him. He did seem possessive of her, at least,” she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Possessive and protective. And worried about her in the hands of the First Order without him.”

“Completely infatuated, that’s what I saw. He wants her.”

She snorted, a little dismissively, “I want her, given the reports of how her force powers are manifesting.”

Han huffed disapprovingly, “It isn’t anymore right for you to treat that kid like a weapon than for Snoke to do it. She’s innocent in all of this mess, we’re all the ones that dragged her into it.”

Her eyes narrowed and she stiffened, “I wouldn’t _force_ her to work for us.”

“She wouldn’t join you willingly.”

“I can be very convincing,” she answered, her voice falling cold and flat. Under the surface she could feel threads of anger coalescing at how he seemed to be judging her.

For a minute, they both fell into an uncomfortable silence, before Han spoke again, “Is this even worth it?”

She blinked, “What do you mean?”

“This map. Luke. Kriff, we don’t know if he’s even still there. Or if he’d help you if you find him,” there was a distant, concerned look in Han’s eyes.

“I… he’s our only hope, Han. The Resistance is on the verge of crumbling, we were even before what happened to Hosnia. Now?” She shook her head, “We’re the last wall between the First Order and galactic domination and we are underfunded and overpowered.”

“Ben…” he sighed, “Ben said Luke isn’t who we remembered.”

“Ben will say anything to manipulate us,” she said, sharply. “He’s my brother… he’s your friend. We all fought together. We know him.”

“We _knew_ him.” She started to protest, but Han held up his hand, “Let me finish. I haven’t seen Luke in twenty four years. It’s a long time, people change, people become unstable. I know you saw him a few times, but it was in passing. You communicated with him now and again too. But it was always business. We really don’t know who he is now.”

“That’s ridiculous, of course we--”

“I’m not done. You know as well as I do that there were questionable things that happened. Ben mentioned some them, the Zosma system, Skoth, Jurilea… Luke’s actions in those places threw those governments into chaos or outright triggered civil war.”

She blinked, feeling a twinge of panic fluttering in her chest. What had happened on those planets had been questionable, and there were others too, others than had been more secretive, but from her position it was hard for the truth not to float back up to her. But, no, she didn’t know all the details, it wasn’t like she could make a judgement.

“We don’t know what was happening behind the scenes,” she said, weakly. She couldn’t let herself be lead away from her mission here. She would find Luke and Luke would help her, help them, help the entire kriffing galaxy. They’d push the darkness back together.

“Somethings are just wrong, no matter the justification.”

Closing her eyes, she shook her head, refusing to accept his words.

“Leia, there’s still good in Ben. I saw it. I saw it in how he looked at that girl. At how he questioned himself and what might happen to her.”

She looked away, wishing she could believe that. Wanting nothing more than to bring her boy back again. Back to the light. Back to her. Away from the monsters that had sunk their claws into him.

“I wish I could believe that was true.”

 

* * *

 

He was beginning to suspect he might have a broken ankle, or at least a bad sprain. How had managed to walk here carrying his own body weight, much less with the added weight of the girl, was mind boggling. When he had tried to get up and walk to the cave entrance after hearing the sound of storm troopers passing by, wanting to see how many they had searching for them, he’d nearly fallen down. His left leg was completely non-weight bearing right now.

Oh yeah, they were just completely kriffed.

Rey was still unconscious, but breathing. He’d rested his hand on her chest in the dark and felt her shallow breaths. But she was unconscious and he had one kriffing leg and no blaster, if they were found, they were done.

Leaning his head back against the cool stone behind him, he closed his eyes. He had nearly drifted to unconsciousness when the sound of footsteps jolted him back. Feeling around him for anything that could be used as a weapon. His hand found a larger rock and wrapped around it. It was ridiculous, really… a rock against blasters? But he couldn’t give up without a fight.

Squinting towards the entrance, he saw a figure silhouetted by the light spilling through the crack in the rock that lead outside. It was hard to make out but the shape didn’t look right for a stormtrooper.

“I’m not one of them,” the figure spoke, a voice that seemed rough and raspy, almost as if he wasn’t used to using his voice. It softened slightly with amusement, “I’m a little short for a stormtrooper, or so I’ve been told.”

Blinking at that joke, he squinted at the approaching man. Between the darkness of the cave and the hood he wore, it was nearly impossible to make out his features. The man neared slowly, cautiously. In the dimness he thought he could make out a beard, a mess of hair. When the light hit eyes he caught sight of a sharp, dangerous glint to them.

“You appear to be in some trouble,” there was a hint of a smile he couldn’t see in the dark in the man’s tone.

He licked his lips. This man might be a friend, or a foe, but at the least he wasn’t First Order, “You could say that.”

Stopping a few feet away, the man’s head cocked to the side as he stared down at Rey. The light caught the man’s eyes and he could see them narrow as he looked down at her.

Something about the look made him feel uneasy. Really uneasy.

“Who’s this girl?” The raspy voice had a darker edge to it.

He frowned, not sure of what to say, or if he should say anything, “She… she was a prisoner, aboard the Star Destroyer in this system. I broke her out but the fighter we stole was hit.”

“I saw,” the raspy voice answered. The shadowy figure was still staring down at Rey. With each breath he could hear the man’s nostrils flaring in agitation. “The one… the one who calls himself Kylo Ren now, is he aboard that ship?”

“No, not now.”

“When was the girl with him?”

He stiffened, “How do you know she--”

“His fingerprints are all over. On her body, on her mind, on her signature. He is _crawling_ all over her,” the voice deepened into a growl. “She was with him. When? Where?”

“Jakku,” he replied, wishing he had a weapon. Everything about this man felt unstable to him. “She was his prisoner, at least at first. But he was captured by the Resistance on Takadona.”

The man turned towards him, head dipping down to look at him, “The Resistance?”

“Yeah, as far as I’m aware, General Organa has him in her custody now.”

“Organa… has Ben prisoner?” the man’s head cocked slightly to the side.

He blinked, “I.. who is Ben?”

“Ren, Kylo Ren. He’s Organa’s prisoner?”

“As far as I know…”

The figure crouched next to the girl, a hand reached out and brushed across her forehead. It made him want to scream at the man to get away from her. Then the man stood, turning once again to look down at him, “Both of you are injured. My ship is nearby, I will go back and retrieve a medkit. Then we can discuss these things further.”

“What if the stormtroopers spot you?” part of him wanted nothing more than this man to leave, but the rest of him reminded himself that they didn’t exactly have good options here.

“They’re of no concern to me,” the man answered as he stood, walking towards the exit.

For a moment, he watched as the man receded, feeling like he could breath a bit better with the added space. Frowning, he called softly, “Hey, I don’t know your name?”

The man paused in the entrance, turning to look over his shoulder, “My name is Luke,” he answered, gruffly, before vanishing through the crack into the bright light beyond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I'm not burning anyone out with the twists and turns in this story. I tried to plant the seeds that Luke might not still be on Ahch-To in several places throughout. Hopefully Luke is coming off still as creepy as fuck. Cause he really is in this story.
> 
> I also debated the "short for a storm trooper" joke, since that should scream this is Luke right from that the beginning of that section and not leave the reveal to the end. But I couldn't resist the throwback line to ANH.
> 
> I'm going to go into my interpretations of Leia's character in this story a bit. I know some people like this sort of glimpse into what the author things, others prefer to make their own conclusions from what's actually getting written, so proceed if you feel like it. Skip if you don't.
> 
> Leia... I really wanted to at least give a glimpse into Leia's mind. I hope it makes her a little more sympathetic albeit still not to the point of making her forgivable, because she really isn't. She's misguided and desperate as she feels control slipping through her grasp, and she's making questionable decisions. Moreso, she's making fairly immoral decisions and justifying them because she concludes them to be necessary. But as Han points out, somethings are just wrong no matter how you chose to justify them.
> 
> Also these lines, I almost thought about rewriting cause if you really think about it, it implies something kind of awful... but in the end I decided this was right, this was how this characterization of Leia really was - 
> 
>  
> 
> _And then the memory of her hugging him, telling him she would always keep him safe. Why did that one hurt so much? Everything she had done had been about keeping him safe. About helping him before it was too late. Luke had been the only option, **she couldn’t do it herself, she could barely keep up with her own work**. And Han? Han was too reckless to help anyone, much less a force powerful boy with anger issues._
> 
>  
> 
> Yeah, son vs. work, work always won out. And really, she doesn't realize there was ever anything wrong with that.
> 
> I feel bad for her. I don't think she deserves to be forgiven for the things she's doing right now, but I do feel bad. 
> 
> You all probably noticed I'm flipping Han and Leia from how their characters were in TFA. Han is seeing the potential light still in Ben, Leia's not able to. It's pretty much a continuation of how I tried to flip the parental relationships-- Ben was closer to Han than Leia, and while he's resentful of both parents, he was far less angst filled towards Han.
> 
> One final note, I'm pretty sure my ideas for this dark, unhinged Luke came from this [drabble](https://carasstarwarsmusings.tumblr.com/post/159952031609/random-drabble). I wrote months ago. This Luke is even darker, but that creepiness and instability was influenced pretty heavily from that characterization. You'll also probably recognize that this entire scene (hiding in a cave from searching forces) was pretty heavily influenced from the drabble.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t know much about the force, but that doesn’t seem like how the force works.”
> 
> The man turned sharply to him, his voice dropping to a low hiss, “Someone such as _you_ has no place telling _me_ how the force works.” He took a step forward, the dim light glittering off his eyes in a way that made him look completely mad. “I know the force, I know its will, and I know it will lead us to a way to prevent whatever abomination the Snoke and his minions have created from destroying the Resistance base, if that’s where Kylo Ren is.”
> 
> It was probably pushing his luck, but he couldn’t help but ask, feeling incredulous, “The force wants to keep Kylo Ren from being killed?”
> 
> Luke began to laugh, a dark chuckle that grew into something more sinister, “Oh, no. The force wants him dead. The force _begs_ for retribution.” He took a step forward, his eyes flashing and his face contorting into a snarl, “There is a debt between him and I that will be paid back in his blood. There can only be balance when Kylo Ren dies by my hand. He _will_ die by my hand, and only my hand.” Luke whirled, his cloak swirling behind him, and strode from the cave again, leaving him to stare uneasily after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy fanfic writers appreciation day! 
> 
> Hope crazy Luke is as fun to read as he is to write.

He wasn’t sure if he should be worried or relieved when the man returned, dropping the bag to the ground and sitting, cross legged in front of them. Opening the bag the man-- Luke, he had said his name was Luke-- pulled out a small, portable light and turned it on. Even that small bit of brightness burned his eyes, having been in the dark for so long now. Shielding them and looking away as they grew used to the illumination, he looked down at Rey, “Treat her first. I just have scrapes and my ankle.”

The man said nothing, so he looked over to meet sharp blue eyes staring out of a mane of wild and overgrown hair. He swallowed nervously under the scrutiny of the man’s stare. It felt like he was being weighed and judged, and he couldn’t help but feel like the man was very comfortable passing judgments. “Considerate,” Luke rasped, turning back to the bag, pulling out a canteen and passing it to him. “I am a poor healer, but I will be able to help her. Bacta will do the rest.”

It wasn’t clear to him what that meant, but he nodded nervously, opening the canteen and drinking sparingly. He wasn’t sure how much they had, and Rey would need some too.

“I assume _they_ put those _things_ on her?”

He looked up, the man was staring at the girl. Or rather, at the cuffs that encircled each wrist. “What? The cuffs? I think so…”

“ _Force cuffs_ ,” the man growled, his hair seeming to grow wilder as he shook his head. “ _Abominations_.” He kept his mouth shut, not sure how he should respond to that. His nerves jumped as the man slid over next to the girl, lifting her head slightly to look for the wound that lay somewhere behind the blood matted hair. “We will need to cut them off before we leave.”

“O-okay,” before we leave, so the guy was planning on helping them get out of this place. There was that. Which was good. Maybe.

Luke placed the girl’s head on his knee lightly, smoothing his hands over her hair. In the dim light of the lamp, he watched nervously as the man placed a hand on each side of her head and closed his eyes.

He stared, not sure what the hell the man was doing, when he saw the smallest flash of light seem flash off the man’s fingers, pulsing against Rey’s head.

“What the hell was that?” he asked, his eyes wide and body tense.

“Healing, with the force,” the blue eyes opened and again seemed to be bearing some judgment on him. “Not a skill I have much of, but it will help.” As if confirming his words, Rey’s eyes flicked behind her closed eyelids and she whimpered slightly. It was the first sign of life beyond the steady rise and fall of her chest that he’d seen since he found her after the crash. Luke pulled out a bacta patch, applying to the head wound before setting her head down on his knee again. He shifted uncomfortably as the man gently brushed the hair back out of the girl’s face, staring down at her with an intensity that made him once again want to shove him away from her.

He cleared his throat, which worked to shift the man’s attention from Rey, but had the unfortunate effect of causing it to shift to him. “What… what exactly were you doing here?”

Those blue eyes seemed to be studying him, he carefully set Rey back to the ground before grabbing his medkit and scooting closer, “We can put a bacta patch on and wrap the ankle, but I can’t knit together bone I’m afraid.”

Well, that was a clear avoidance of the question. He put his bad leg out and let Luke apply the bacta patch. “Your name, and the girl’s?” the man questioned as he applied a wrap around the ankle. “

“I… um… I’m…” he paused, not sure if he should use the name he’d been given by the Resistance or his designation, “I’m Finn.”

Luke paused, looking up and raising his eyebrows, before glancing down the stormtrooper armor he wore, “Is it? I can’t help but notice that you aren’t a little short to be a stormtrooper.”

“I, well, I am… I mean, I was…” he fumbled again, Luke’s heavy gaze making him feel self conscious and under scrutiny. “I’ve been working with the Resistance, they gave me the name Finn. My designation is FN-2187.” When the only response was Luke’s continued stare, he added, “The girl, her name is Rey.”

“Rey. And Kylo Ren took her prisoner on Jakku?”

“At first, at least. I don’t know the whole story. I knew the original Resistance plan, but beyond that I got bits and pieces, and Ren’s report on what happened on Jakku.”

“Original Resistance plan?” Luke tied the bandage off, not looking up as he spoke.

“They…” he paused, not sure how to start, “a man named San Tekka had found part of a map that they believed lead to Luke Sky--” he blinked, voice trailing off. The man in front of him froze for a moment, head still down, before lowering the bandaged foot back to the ground and looking up, the corner of his lips twisting. “Skywalker…” he finished, his eyes meeting the blue ones.

For a moment the two just looked at each other. If… if this was Skywalker, it was good? Wasn’t it? “Um, so, they realized it was a fragment of the map. The First Order had the rest, had had it for awhile. Only a few had seen it beyond Snoke I think-- Kylo Ren, General Hux… I guess that’s why Organa chose Ren. I don’t know how they thought they’d get the information from him, but they seemed to think they could. So they set up a trap to snare him, using the fragment of the map as bait.” He swallowed, “But it went wrong. He got away.”

“How does the girl play into this?” Luke’s eyes flicked towards her, his brow furrowed.

“She just lived there, he found her and took her captive, when he was trying to avoid the Resistance presence.”

Luke frowned, resting his chin on his hand, before once again looking up, “But you are certain he was captured on Takadona?”

“I was there,” he said, leaving out the fact that he himself had been the one to sedate the man, his own eyes glancing at the girl. She seemed to still be unconscious, but some instinct told him that he should keep quiet about how involved he ended up being with Ren’s capture. He might still need the girl to trust him going forward. “On Takadona. And I know they took him to the Resistance base on D’qar.” He swallowed, “Unfortunately, so does the First Order. They’re going to target them with the same weapon that wiped out the Hosnian system. The Finalizer was about to head back to Starkiller to begin preparations.”

He wouldn’t have thought the man’s eyes could get more intense, but they did. Luke’s voice became a low grumble, “How much time?”

“I don’t know, exactly. It takes time to charge… and they won’t get started till Hux is back. We’re probably delaying it more with them searching for us, unless they just left some forces here. It’s six or so hours jump to Starkiller right now.” He took a breath, “With the Republic gone I’m not sure if the Resistance is going to be able to do a full evacuation or not. I sent a transmission warning them before I left. Along with the schematics I stole from the ship’s archives.”

“Their ship is still in this system,” Luke’s voice was still low, with a hard edge to it. “I’ll know when it leaves, which means there is still time. What do you know about this weapon?”

What did he know? Not much beyond the fact that it was horrifying. “Um, it’s built into a planet, a faster than light laser capable of destroying entire star systems.”

“Do you know where it is?”

“Yeah, a system in the Unknown Regions,” he rubbed his eyes. “Why?”

“We have to go there,” Luke answered, as if this was an obvious. “To destroy it if possible.”

He stared, exasperated, “How the kriff are the three of us going to do that?”

Luke’s voice was calm, “I’m sure the Resistance is going to be attempting to do the same, if it’s true you warned them. We’ll be aiding them.” He stood, brushing his pant legs as he looked down, “The will force guide us.”

“I don’t know much about the force, but that doesn’t seem like how the force works.”

The man turned sharply to him, his voice dropping to a low hiss, “Someone such as _you_ has no place telling _me_ how the force works.” He took a step forward, the dim light glittering off his eyes in a way that made him look completely mad. “I know the force, I know its will, and I know it will lead us to a way to prevent whatever abomination the Snoke and his minions have created from destroying the Resistance base, if that’s where Kylo Ren is.”

It was probably pushing his luck, but he couldn’t help but ask, feeling incredulous, “The force wants to keep Kylo Ren from being killed?”

Luke began to laugh, a dark chuckle that grew into something more sinister, “Oh, no. The force wants him dead. The force _begs_ for retribution.” He took a step forward, his eyes flashing and his face contorting into a snarl, “There is a debt between him and I that will be paid back in his blood. There can only be balance when Kylo Ren dies by my hand. He _will_ die by my hand, and _only_ my hand.” Luke whirled, his cloak swirling behind him, and strode from the cave again, leaving him to stare uneasily after him.

“I think we still might be completely kriffed,” he said aloud, talking aloud. The man, whether he was Luke Skywalker or not, was completely unhinged.

“I think you’re right.”

He jumped, nearly letting out a yelp. Rey rolled over, staring at the way Luke had gone, a sharp, angry expression on her face. He took a deep breath leaning towards her, “Are you okay?”

She looked at him a little quizzically, as if his concern was unexpected, “My head hurts still, and I feel like I got trampled by a luggabeast.” Pausing, “I remember us being hit and entering the moon’s atmosphere… blacked out somewhere after that. Where are we?”

“A cave, I hid us after we crashed. They’re searching for us.”

She frowned, then looked back towards the cave entrance, her frown deepening, “And _him_?”

“He… was here. I don’t know why,” he shrugged, “And while he appears to be mynock druk crazy, he did help us, and we don’t have a lot of options right now.” She bit her lip, the dim light bathing her face. Her expression was hard to read, a mix of anger and concern and… recognition. “You… _know_ him?”

“Not exactly… I’ve seen him before in a dream, or a nightmare really,” he raised his eyebrows at her, wondering if he was the only sane person left in the universe. She noticed and flushed, “And I saw him in a vision too. Quit looking at me like that, I’m not crazy or making it up.” Gingerly she pushed herself up and leaned against the wall, “He’s Kylo’s uncle. He’s Luke Skywalker.”

 

* * *

 

“Wait, what?”

“What what?” she asked, squinting at Finn. She’d overheard some of the conversation, pretending that she was still unconscious when she’d come to and recognized the man with them. Her nerves were on edge, if the vision and dream and Kylo’s own words on his uncle being crazy weren’t enough to freak her out, the man had flat out expressed his intent to kill Kylo.

“He’s Kylo Ren’s _uncle_?” he asked her, looking incredulous.

She nodded, “Kylo said he was a lunatic.”

“ _Luke Skywalker_ is Kylo Ren’s _uncle_? Like, blood relatives?” Finn was still looking at her disbelievingly.

“Yeah,” she nodded, not able to keep the slight bit of sarcasm out of her voice, “as in his mother’s brother.” A puzzled expression crossed Finn’s face and she realized she could see some mental gymnastics taking place as he tried to piece all this information together. “His mother is the Resistance General,” she added.

Finn’s mouth dropped for a moment and he looked as if wanted to say more, but the sound of approaching footsteps caused him to tense, peering towards the entrance to see Luke slipping back inside. She tensed as he approached, eyes locking on to her and making her wish she’d kept pretending to be unconscious, “The girl’s awake.” His voice had a cold edge to it, the light cast harsh shadows across his face.

She closed her eyes a moment, a flash from the vision, of this man slamming a teenage Kylo into a wall and ordering him to do terrible things, floated across her mind. Slowly she opened her eyes, meeting the sharp, intense blue eyes and somehow not flinching as he approached, never breaking eye contact.

“Yes,” she said, her own voice calm and reserved. “She is.”

His head cocked, eyes narrowing as he crouched next to her. He had something in his mechanical hand, and she broke eye contact finally to look at it. It was a cutting tool of some kind…

Luke’s lips twitched, and he sat down in front of her, extending his flesh hand, “The cuffs,” he said, nodding to one of the bracelets of metal that were locked on her wrists. She glanced at the force cuffs, then back to the man, before extending her right hand to him. He grasped it, carefully cutting the bracelet off and letting it drop to the ground between them with a clatter. His gaze lifted again to meet her eyes, holding the eye contact as he released her hand and waited for her to give him the other. She glared at him, refusing to break eye contact as she offered her left hand.

He looked down slowly holding her wrist above the band, cutting it off and letting it fall, bouncing off the one from her right wrist and landing on the ground next to it. Luke stared down at them a moment before his face twisted, his hand tightening around her wrist. She hissed, trying pull her arm back, but he kept his grip, still staring down at the cuffs on the ground. With a sharp wave of his other hand, the force cuffs shot off into the darkness, where she could hear them smashing into the wall of the cave. “Vile things,” he growled, raising his head to look at her once again. “The force embraces you again, child,” he said, releasing her wrist.

She glanced at Finn who was watching with a wide eyed and tense look. It took her a second to realize he was coiled and ready to spring if he thought Skywalker might hurt her. Looking down at her wrists, aware now of the energy that had been missing filling her once again and completing her, a small smile passed across her face. At least she had an ally.

Finn reached over and passed a canteen of water to her, she took it, given sideways glances at Luke, who was still staring at her with a dark intensity that eclipsed even the intensity she’d seen in Kylo’s eyes. Taking a drink, she turned, forcing herself again to meet that gaze, refusing to back down. Saying nothing, she raised her eyebrows in question.

Luke’s head tilted and the skin around his eyes crinkled slightly, “You are bold for one so young. Who are you, child?”

She folded her arms, “No one. I’m just a scavenger.”

“A scavenger,” she squirmed slightly under his scrutiny, immediately catching herself and stilling. Showing weakness to this man or monster, whatever he was, seemed like a very bad idea. “From Jakku?”

“Yes.” She glanced over at Finn’s ankle, frowning.

“You were born on Jakku?” She looked back at Luke, his eyes seemed even sharper, calculating.

“No. But I spent most of my life there.” Wanting to get away from his questioning, she turned her attention to Finn, ignoring an irritated breath from Skywalker, “Can I see your ankle?”

Finn turned his gaze away from Luke, “Why?”

She felt some heat rush to her face, “I might be able to help… I only did it once before, but I healed Kylo, I think I should be able to heal you.”

Luke exhaled angrily at Kylo’s name, she fought the urge to look at him, instead focusing, on Finn, who extended his foot out towards her, a quizzical look on his face. She took brushed her fingers down the bandaged ankle, freezing when Finn let out a little startled noise.

“Did that hurt? I’m sorry…”

Finn shook his head, looking embarrassed, “No… it felt, tingly, but soothing. It was just strange.”

Nodding, she thought back to how she’d healed the wound on Kylo’s side, how it had felt… she didn’t know what she was doing then, and she didn’t really know what she was doing now… but she should…

Something pulsed through her as she traced her fingers down again, something strange and potent, bright and warm, moved through and into Finn. He let out a gurgled gasping moan, doubling over slightly. Pulling her hands back, she looked at him worriedly, hoping again that she hadn’t hurt him, “Are you okay?”

“He’s fine,” Luke was leaning back on his elbows, looking both amused and impressed. “You need to learn to focus your power to the area you’re trying to heal. Just blasting healing force through someone will exhaust you and can be rather-- arousing-- to the person you’re healing.”

She blinked, processing his words before feeling heat rush to her face at the implication. Finn looked slightly mortified as he carefully unbandaged his ankle, rolling it before carefully standing and putting his full weight on it, “It… I think it worked…” He grinned, still looking slightly embarrassed, “Thanks. That was amazing..."  his voice trailed off and he looked mortified again. "I mean fixing my ankle part... not..." 

Luke snorted, working to gather a few things up in his bag, “We should leave soon.”

Folding her arms, she stood and turned to look down at the man, “Why should we go with you?”

Freezing in place, Luke slowly looked up to meet her eyes, something dark and dangerous seemed to flash behind a veil of calm, “Would you stay here and die, child? Or be recaptured?”

She frowned, “Maybe. We have no reason to trust you.”

Rising to his feet, Luke began to take slow steps towards her, “You have no _choice_ but to trust me.”

As he got closer, she took a step back, then another, until, her back hit the cave wall. Luke continued forward, beginning to crowd into her personal space, “Did you trust _him_ , girl?”

“Hey! Back off from--” Finn’s voice started, and then cut off with a thunk as he was shoved backwards by nothing at all, landing sprawled on his back. Luke never once looking at Finn as he manhandled him through the force.

“Trust that thieving, murderous traitor?” Luke growled, leaning towards her. “His energy is still crawling on you girl. You let him taint you, but it’s not too late yet. Give yourself to the force and it will show you the light.”

Her heart was pounding, her voice hushed when she found it, “I won’t let you kill him.”

A dark chuckle, “A youngling fumbling with her powers is not going to stop me from delivering retribution.” His blue eyes narrowed into a shrewd, calculating look, “If you want to save him, then you will want to come with and help us prevent the First Order’s own weapon from destroying him. For right now our goals are the same.”

She let out a hiss. This was true, they had to stop the First Order, or trying to stop the deranged lunatic in front of her was a moot point. And being stranded on a barren moon wasn’t going to help her help Kylo either. They had few to no kriffing options.

“Fine,” she said, “I’ll come with.”

Next to her Finn climbed slowly to his feet, looking between Luke and her.

Turning on his heels and picking up his bag, Luke glanced over his shoulder at them, “Come then, time is short.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, things are being set in motion now for the third act of this fic.
> 
> Heading back to the Resistance next. They're trying to figure out the best course of action to take knowing they're going to be targeted soon. And we need to go see Kylo again.
> 
> XOXOXO for all the kudos and comments. You guys keep me going in times of doubt.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I should kill you,” he said, eyes glaring coldly at his father, “for what you did… what you did…”
> 
> Han froze, looking down, “I’m sorry. I thought… I trusted her to be doing the right thing.” He snorted, looking away. Han pleaded again, “Please listen to me though. Please Ben, we need your help, and I want to help you.”
> 
> “My help?” he laughed, maybe this was just a set up his mother devised to try to get the map out of him.
> 
> “The First Order is charging that thing again. And we’re the target.” Han walked over and grabbed a metal chair from beside the door, bringing it over next to him and straddling it backwards as he sat, looking down at him. “I know you’re a mess right now, but think about what that really means. They know you’re here, and they’re going to blow this system to druk anyway.”
> 
> He stared, his eyes narrowing. If his father was telling the truth, it meant Snoke had decided that stopping the Resistance from possibly getting the map to Skywalker completed was more important than his apprentice. More important than him .
> 
> How was it that his kriffing uncle was always the most important thing, so much more important than him?

The command center was in chaos.

Snap glanced at him before he spoke, “The Finalizer returned a few hours ago. The reconnaissance flyby saw it come out of hyperspace.”

“Is it charging yet?” Organa asked, circling the projected image of Starkiller base next to the Death Star, showing how the new weapon dwarfed what had been considered the largest super weapon ever created-- at least until now.

“Not yet,” he answered, nodding to the General, “but we think they will soon. And according to Fulcrum, we’re the next target.” The whole room began to murmur in alarm.

“Without the Republic fleet, we’re doomed,” Threepio lamented. Kriff, that droid was a pain in the ass sometimes. He sighed, rubbing a hand across his eyes. Not that it was wrong, a full evacuation of D’Qar would require more time and resources than they had on hand right now.

“When’s the next flyby, Dameron?” she asked, looking him squarely in the eye.

“Ten minutes,” he said. “I’ve got a fighter skipping out of hyperspace just long enough to scan every half hour. Pava’s on the next run.”

Ackbar shook his head mournfully, “How is it even possible to power a weapon of this size?”

“According to the schematics we got from Fulcrum, it uses the power of a sun,” he answered, feeling a bit nauseated at the thought. “It’s really a star killer, it drains a sun of its energy until it’s gone and uses that energy to power the laser.”

“Any other word from Fulcrum?” Organa asked, a frown etching her face.

He shook his head. Finn’s last message was the one he sent these schematics and the warning that they were the next target. And that he was going to try to spring the girl and run. No word since was probably not a good sign, “No, ma’am.”

“Any idea where the girl is?” a gruff voice asked. He looked over to see Han Solo leaning on a console, staring at the holo projection with an expression that was hard to read. There were murmurs, mainly of confusion, through the room. Most of those here were unaware of the details of what happened on Jakku. Interspersed with the confusion he could here hisses of discontent, or harsh, angry exhales of air like Snap did next to him. Most of those who had been on Jakku did not think kindly of the girl that had aided Kylo Ren.

Organa answered, voice curt, her annoyance at her husband’s mentioning this detail in a public setting coming through loud and clear, “As far as we know she’s still a First Order prisoner. I would assume held on the Finalizer or Starkiller at this point.” She turned and narrowed her eyes as she looked at Han, “Right now she’s far from our main concern.”

Han’s brow furrowed, clearly not liking that answer, before he stepped towards the holo projection, “Okay, so how do we blow this gods damned thing up?”

Murmurs of surprise spread across the room. There was a determined, commanding tone to Solo’s voice, the old rebel General in him coming out as he stared down odds that were not in his favor. “There’s **_always_ ** a way to do that, no matter how impossible they like to tell you it is.”

Major Ematt stepped forward, a thoughtful look on his face, “Something like this… to contain the kind of power they’ll have to store in that thing, it’ll require some kind of thermal oscillator.”

Snap frowned, scanning through the schematics before he looked up, “It’s got one…” he zoomed in on the sector in the projection. For a moment the room went quiet and thoughtful. “So,” Snap continued, “we take this out and….”

“Boom,” he added.

“If it’s holding a charge,” Ematt clarified, “It will destabilize the entire power core, cause the batteries to rupture… and… well.”

“Boom,” he repeated, raising his eyebrows.

Ematt shook his head with a wry smile, “Violent decontainment of energy with outward velocity…”

He rolled his eyes and laughed, “So, boom?”

“Super weapon planet goes boom,” Ematt rolled his eyes at him with a smile.

Ackbar decided to rain on the parade of this current line of thought, “They have shields our ships can not penetrate.”

“There are ways past shields, and shields can be disabled,” Solo said, slipping back and tapping Organa on the shoulder, pulling her off to the side as the rest of the room still discussed this potential line of attack.

“Assuming we can get the shields down, we go in, hit this thing with everything we got, and blow up their big gun?” Snap asked.

The room murmured and conferred, he pulled back, slipping off to the side where Han Solo was discussing something with Organa. Something that had agitated the druk out of her, judging by the shocked expression and the flash of anger in her brown eyes.

“Absolutely not! Are you out of your mind, Han?!”

“Ben would know how to get the shields down. Let me talk to him, I can convince him to help us,” Han answered, quietly.

“You’ve got to be kriffing me?!” he exclaimed, stepping into the conversation. The General shot him a look to let him know he had no place interjecting himself here, but he didn’t care, his own hackles were up. “Do you know what we went through to capture him? Do you know how many good men died just to get him here?”

“He’s being sacrificed. His own people don’t give enough of a druk to try to rescue him,” Han growled. “And Rey, that girl means everything to him. She’s the key. Let me talk to him, damn it.”

“No,” Organa was firm, thankfully.

“Leia,” he started, but she cut him off.

“He wants to kill both of us, Han, he’s said so much to me,” she shook her head. “The answer is no.” She turned and walked back into the center of the discussion. A runner coming over and handing her a datapad, she frowned as she read it.

“The weapon is charging,” she said, sounding almost defeated, “I want all transports to begin to evacuate what we can in the time we’ve got.” Her voice firmed, “The rest of us are going to figure out how to blow this gods damned thing up.”

“The shields…” Ackbar started again.

Han interrupted, “Have a fractional refresh rate.” Heads turned to look at him blankly, Han rolled his eyes, as if the meaning of this should be obvious, “They keep anything going _sub-lightspeed_ from getting through.”

He raised his eyebrows… so then… a smile broke across his face.

Snap stared, “Are you suggesting we enter a planet’s atmosphere at _light speed_?!?”

His grin widened as he nodded towards Solo, “That’s exactly what he’s suggesting.”

“That’s crazy!” murmurs of agreement passed through the room.

“Chewie and I can go in with the Falcon and try to find a way to get the shields down… in the meantime you could begin to send fighter teams with your best pilots in at predetermined entry points in phases.” Organa frowned at him as he continued, “Not saying it’s ideal, but unless someone has a better idea?”

The room went quiet, he grinned staring at the projection, “We get in, we hit that kriffing oscillator with everything we got, and we watch that baby go boom.”

Snap snorted, laughing, “This plan is a little lacking.”

“Wing it buddy,” he winked. “It’s what we do best.”

 

* * *

 

Shouts from outside his cell door startled him from the misery of his own mind.

The drugs had worn off, leaving him to wallow in hatred and self-loathing. It probably shouldn’t have been surprising that she was willing to do that to him, that he was most important to her as a means to her end goals than as a son, but somehow it still hurt. The drug induced journey through his own mind had not helped, ripping off the callouses over the old emotional wounds and leaving them raw again.

Kriffing bitch.

He hated himself for that weakness, the weakness that let her actions hurt him. He shouldn’t care how she treated him. He should have shed any need for love or acceptance from her long ago. But he seemed unable to do that, unable to not want some kind of maternal feelings towards him from her.

One of many of his failures. He had failed Snoke. He had failed himself. He had failed Rey. Rey. Gods damn it, Rey. He should have been able to protect her, should have been able to guide her through… act as a barrier between her and the rest of the First Order until she was confident enough to stand on her own. Instead she was alone, and she was at Snoke’s mercy.

He hated himself for how much he distrusted what Snoke would do with her.

Shouting, sounds of a fight. He pushed himself against the wall, sitting up, tense. He wanted to reach out and sense for what was going on behind that steel door, but the collar, the kriffing collar… he was blind to the force. He was blind to whatever was going on.

The door rattled. He clenched his fists, trying to be ready for anything. Though when the man slipped through he had to admit he wasn’t quite ready for that. He gritted his teeth, the chain rattling as he pushed himself up straighter, growling out the name, “Han Solo.”

Han stopped, staring for a moment with a shocked, almost horrified expression. Clearly his traitorous father was unaware of the conditions his mother was keeping him in. The man looked away before stepping forward, taking a breath, “Ben, listen to me…”

“I’ve got nothing to say to you,” he growled. “You’re dead to me.”

“Listen, please, there’s not a lot of time…” he sounded almost pleading. He took a step forward, crossing the threshold to where his chain would reach. His eyes narrowed, wondering if this was some kind of trick or if Han had just come bumbling in here of his own accord.

“I should kill you,” he said, eyes glaring coldly at his father, “for what you did… what you did…”

Han froze, looking down, “I’m sorry. I thought… I trusted her to be doing the right thing.” He snorted, looking away. Han pleaded again, “Please listen to me though. Please Ben, we need your help, and I want to help you.”

“My help?” he laughed, maybe this was just a set up his mother devised to try to get the map out of him.

“The First Order is charging that thing again. And we’re the target.” Han walked over and grabbed a metal chair from beside the door, bringing it over next to him and straddling it backwards as he sat, looking down at him. “I know you’re a mess right now, but think about what that really means. They know you’re here, and they’re going to blow this system to druk anyway.”

He stared, his eyes narrowing. If his father was telling the truth, it meant Snoke had decided that stopping the Resistance from possibly getting the map to Skywalker completed was more important than his apprentice. More important than _him_.

How was it that his kriffing uncle was always the most important thing, so much more important than him?

Kriff that asshole too. The kriffing monster had kriffed him his whole life.

Taking a breath, he tried to sound confident as he spoke, but as the words came out he simply sounded numb, “Sacrifices sometimes must be made.” A sacrifice. He was expendable to Snoke now. It did not escape him that his expendability was likely considered greater now since he had helped bring his own replacement for Snoke to train.

“You’re not a kriffing sacrifice. You’re my son, and anyone who decided that you were disposable, whether it’s that asshole who has you under his thumb at the First Order, or if it’s your mother, it’s wrong.”

He closed his eyes, startled, angry, not really trusting Han, not yet anyway. “What do you want? What do you think I can do about any of this?”

“They think they know a way to take that thing out. A thermal oscillator or something like that, I don’t know the details. But I’m going in to take down their shields, we can get fighters through even if we can’t bring them down, but it’s tricky. It will make a mass strike easier if the shields go down.” He stared at him, “Help us stop this thing, I know you hate it. I saw the horror in your eyes when you realized they’d used it on Hosnia.”

For a minute he stared incredulously, then started to laugh, “You really think I am going to help the Resistance attack the First Order?”

“No,” Han’s voice was gruff, “I think you’re going to help _me_ help the Resistance attack the First Order.” He paused, “And try to get Rey back.”

His eyes shot up to meet Han’s, his entire body freezing in place at her name, “Where is she?”

“I don’t know for sure,” Han leaned forward, resting his chin on the back of the chair. “Last we know she was held in the brig on the Finalizer.” A flash of rage burned through him, they’d locked her in the kriffing brig? Han nodded, “Yeah, I thought you wouldn’t appreciate them treating her like that. She’s all alone there without you to keep her safe.” Sighing, “I guess they had a man on the Finalizer try to break her out but there’s no word since, so assumption is he failed. So she’s either on the Finalizer, or on Starkiller. And if she’s on Starkiller it means she’s in danger if we succeed in blowing that kriffing thing to bits.”

Han’s hazel eyes met his own brown ones, “Please, Be--,” he stopped, taking a breath, “Kylo. Kylo, please. I want to help you and I want to help her, help us, and I swear I’ll walk through the nine levels of hell to make sure I get her back to you. And I’ll help you get away to wherever you want to go.”

He bit his lower lip, looking away. The fact that he had used his chosen name startled him, “I take it you didn’t have approval to come make this offer?”

A laugh, “I was told absolutely not, and that I wasn’t allowed to see you.” Han nodded towards the door, “Chewie and I had to knock out a few guards. And we don’t have a lot of time before someone notices, so you need to make up your mind and decide if you’re in on this or not.”

For a moment he stared up at the ceiling before looking at his father thoughtfully. He believed him. The man was a fool, but he believed him. And that meant there was only one answer right now, because his father was his ticket out of here and back into First Order space.

The decision of what side he wanted to be on could be made once he was out of this hellhole. It shouldn’t be a decision, he should go, he should betray his father, a fitting end for the way he had betrayed him.

But it wasn’t that easy. Snoke’s choice to sacrifice him weighed on him. Starkiller weighed on him. Until they had actually fired it, part of him had always refused to accept they’d ever actually use it for anything other than a looming threat to get systems to fall into line and under First Order control. That they had been willing to use it haunted him, because they’d use it again, and again.

And then there was Rey. His greatest fear long before he had gotten captured was that his master would refuse to allow him to train her, instead insisting that she be brought for Snoke to break and train himself. For Snoke to destroy and rebuild. He _couldn’t_ let that happen to her, he couldn’t. Not to his little kitten. She was his, and he would die to protect her from that fate.

He would betray everything he thought he believed in to protect her from that fate. He wanted his kitten back, and he’d do almost anything to find her again.

Licking his lips, he reminded himself he still had time to decide. He looked at Han and nodded, “Okay.”

Han smiled, jumping to his feet and pulling his blaster, “Hold your arm up and out.” He blinked before realizing what the intentions were, and then smiled, holding his arm out, the chain tethering him to the wall dangling from it. Han fired, the blaster bolt severing the chain just below his wrist.

He stumbled to his feet, pawing at the suppression collar, “We need to get this off of me.”

“I can’t shoot the lock off, it’s too close to your neck,” Han said, squinting at the lock holding the collar in place. “When we get to the Falcon we can cut it off.”

It wasn’t ideal, but he nodded, accepting it. There wasn’t any time to go looking for a way to remove it, he was sure. Han threw the cell door open, revealing Chewie standing over two unconscious Resistance guards, bowcaster in hand. He growled out a greeting as Han ducked out the door, glancing both directions before nodding down the hall to the left, “Okay, let’s hope we can get him on board before anyone sees us.”

Chewie whined slightly, and he found himself shaking his head as he followed, “You know you’re absolutely out of your mind, don’t you, old man?”

Han glanced over his shoulder as Chewie laughed, “I always have been, B-- Kylo. Always have been. I’m surprised you didn’t realize it till now.”

Grinning, he followed his father down the unfamiliar hallway, hoping they weren’t going to get themselves killed before they ever even got to the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we got ourselves a Starkiller collision course. Luke/Finn/Rey, Han/Chewie/Kylo, and of course all the Resistance fighters that are coming to try to light up that thing.
> 
> Han is taking a leap faith here, putting his faith in Kylo not betraying him. Kylo himself is still not sure which way he really stands, though the fact that Snoke was willing to treat him as expendable hurts him, a lot. His feelings that he'd been abandoned and rejected and treated as something secondary and less important to some else have left scars on him, and his mother's interrogation only served to make those scars raw again.
> 
> I honestly never understood why the way to get through the shields wasn't shared in the movie. I mean, okay, Han, wtf are they going to do if you fail? Sure it's not safe and kind of insane, but if that's the only option, then it's better than nothing. So yeah, the secret was shared by my Han.
> 
> Kisses and hugs for all the kudos and comments. I'm kind of sad that we're in the third act here, this story has been so much fun.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was guided to you for a reason,” he said.
> 
> “Ah, I’ll remember that.”
> 
> “I am your pathway to the light, girl. He may have tainted you, but I am to be your salvation.”
> 
> For a moment she just stared before shaking her head, “Kylo wasn’t exaggerating when he said you were a lunatic.”
> 
> Luke’s eyes narrowed, “He’s manipulated your thoughts, twisted your emotions. Did you feel anything but fear of him when he left those marks on your wrist? When he choked you on that dune overlooking Niima because you were late returning? When he battered your mind so hard that you were sick for days?”
> 
> She locked her eyes with his, unnerved, “Stay out of my mind.”
> 
> “He even calls you his kitten, because he turned you into his little pet… it’s a joke to him.” The corners of his mouth twisted into something that almost resembled a smile.
> 
> “You’re a liar, and you’re the one trying to manipulate me.”
> 
> His mouth flattened into a thin line again, “I am your truth, _girl_. And you will see. You will see.”

Luke’s ship was a small two person transport, which meant fitting three was not comfortable. Rey squeezed herself in behind the two seats, sitting on the floor, watching Luke warily. He wasn’t sure if her outright hostility towards the man was justified, but he thought being wary of him was a pretty reasonable thing. The guy seemed very unstable.

Not that he was sure what they could do if the man turned on them, remembering how effortlessly he had found himself flung backwards and sent sprawling. Luke hadn’t even had to look at him to do it. He was going to keep his kriffing mouth shut for now, despite the fact that Starkiller was the last place he wanted to go. He wanted to get as far from the Order as possible, not go running back to the main base.

Maybe he’d be lucky and end up getting blasted trying to do whatever they were going to do instead of on his knees waiting for an Executioner's laser axe. Or they might just go bouncing off the planet’s shields and get taken out by a TIE fighter.

“Why don’t you stop thinking about ways to die and tell me about these shields?” Luke’s voice caused him to practically jump out of the seat. The man was gazing out the cockpit viewport, not not even looking at him.

He stared, “How…”

“That a skill that runs in the family?” Rey asked wryly. He glanced at her, then looked to Luke, turning his head slowly to look over his shoulder at the girl. His bushy eyebrows raised at her, as he stared down. She, for her part, stared right back.

The moment dragged on in silence, neither one of them appearing to blink or look away despite the intensity in the looks they were giving one another. He cleared his throat, “What… uh…” neither one of them was bothering to look at him, “what skill?”

Luke’s head cocked slightly towards him, “Why don’t you explain, _girl_?”

Rey’s eyes narrowed, “Kylo is very skilled at reading minds. He…” she nodded at Luke, “clearly just did the same to you.”

“You have no idea what he can do,” Luke’s voice was cold. “ _Foolish_ , impudent _child_. You have no idea how he likely manipulated your thoughts and feelings. Erased memories, given you false memories. Anything he wanted to turn you into his obedient little pet.”

“He did nothing like that to me,” Rey snapped. For a tiny thing she sure could turn into a small ball of fury. He was glad her ire was squarely aimed at Luke and not himself.

“You wouldn’t know if he did,” Luke’s voice oozed contempt. “As such I can only forgive you for your misguided and twisted perceptions.”

He coughed, voice uneasy, “Um, so, you _read_ my mind?”

“You were projecting your thoughts,” Luke said, dryly, glancing at him for the first time in this conversation. “I was not looking to violate your mind, though I do have some skill, I can enter a mind with effort. It is nothing compared to what _he_ could do.”

Great, the lunatic they were stuck with could read his mind. Nothing like knowing that one wrong thought might send mister crazy space wizard off the rails.

Luke snorted, “If being referred to as _mister crazy space wizard_ didn’t send me _off the rails_ , boy, I think you’re safe. Now, shields?”

“Um. The entire planet is surrounded by them?”

Rey gave him a look and he was pretty sure Luke rolled his eyes before he spoke, “Do you know anything that might be _helpful_?”

“Hey, it's not like I was planning an excursion there. I was trying to get the kriff away from the Order, not walk right back into their arms.” His voice was growing irritated, and he took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

“I hadn't realized you had been operating with any plan at all,” Luke said, contempt again edging his tone.

“Hey!” he started, temper rising.

“He’s a stormtrooper who managed to break out a pilot who was a high profile prisoner and steal a TIE fighter,” Rey spoke, clearly irritated. “Give him credit for pulling that off. It required careful planning, I'm sure.”

“Yeah. Yeah! That's right,” he nodded. Not that it had been much of a plan but he _had_ put some time into figuring out how to get Rey and get the two of them off the Finalizer. And he’d survived for months feeding information to the Resistance without being caught. He didn’t accomplish any of this without moving forward cautiously.

“Clearly it worked out so well, with the two of you hiding and stranded on a desolate moon.”

“I was the one flying when we crashed, so blame me for that if you think it was a failure,” Rey said, voice as cold as the look she was giving the back of Luke's head.

Luke cast her another cold look over his shoulder but said nothing.

“How do the First Order ships get through the shields?” she asked, looking away from Luke and over at him. “I mean, they can't drop a shield array of planetary size every time a fighter wants to enter or exit the atmosphere.”

He frowned, “They can send a signal that causes their own shields and the planets shields to have matching modulation rates, that way the fighter can just pass through. Anything much bigger they do have to do a full drop. I think.”

Rey tapped her fingers against the floor, “This ship isn’t much bigger than a fighter.”

“Yeah, but we need to know what signal to send, and know how to interpret the signal the shield system sends back so we know what modulation rate to set. And it needs to happen fast, it’s all automated on the fighters.” He shrugged, “I don’t know how we’d find…” His voice trailed off and his hand slid down into the hidden pocket under his stormtrooper armor where the datastick he’d brought with that had the information dump from the Finalizer’s computers was. He didn’t even know all of what he had on that thing, at the end he’d just downloaded anything that could fill up the remaining space and shoved it on there.

Pulling it out of his pocket, he looked down at it before looking up to find both Rey and Luke looking at him. “This is a longshot, but I stole a lot of information off the Finalizer. There might be something on here that can help us…”

 

* * *

 

He lost track of direction as they wove through the underground stone hallways, finally giving up and trusting that Han and Chewie knew where they were going. His hand absentmindedly rubbed the suppression collar, hating how helpless he felt without the force to help guide him.

They reached a staircase and Han stopped, motioning him to stand against the wall, “This was the easy part. Getting the rest of the way to the hangar bay without you being seen isn’t going to be easy.”

Chewie grumbled something he didn’t quite make out, but whatever it was caused Han to turn, exasperated, “I know that!” There was a pause, “Try to keep yourself behind Chewie the best you can.”

“This plan makes me feel real secure,” he said.

“Hey, don’t start, we’re getting you out.”

“Or getting me killed. Either way I’m probably better off than left in the kind maternal hands of my mother, I have to admit that.”

Han gave him a look before nodding at Chewie to lead the way up the stairs. They reached the next level and began to snake their way through hallways. Ducking into side passages or doorways when people passed, using Chewie’s bulk quite effectively to block him from sight. His nerves were on edge though, at some point it was going to be discovered that he was no longer in his cell, and the druk was going to hit the air recirculator.

The went up one more level, reaching the surface of the underground complex. Through archways of the ancient stone building they were in, he could see fighters and ships spread out. When they reached the edge of one of the archways, they stood behind the stone pillars, looking at the Falcon on the other end of several squadrons of fighters that were being prepped by dozens of mechanics and fighter pilots.

There was no way in hell the were going to get past all of them unseen. Han let out an aggravated sigh.

“We’re screwed,” he muttered, wishing he had the damn collar off once again. The men between them and the Falcon were nothing in the face of his powers. If he had his powers.

Chewie whined in agreement and Han glared at both of them, “We’re not screwed. There’s a way. There’s always a way.”

“If this kriffing thing wasn’t on my neck…” he growled, pulling at it again. Clenching his fists, he turned to Han, “Shoot the kriffing lock off.”

“It’s an inch from your neck,” Han stared at him, incredulous, “even I can’t make that shot without hurting you. Hell, the impact of the bolt on the lock could break your neck.”

“We don’t have a choice,” he growled, “I can get us through if we get it off.”

“No, not happening. We’ll find another way…”

“What do you suggest?” he snapped, irritated. “Just walk right past everyone between us and---” A blaring alarm sounding cut him off. All around people began to scramble.

“HEY!” a voice the side shouted, someone had come around a corner and saw them. Han grabbed his shoulder and jerked him out of the way of a blaster bolt, firing back at their attacker and making them duck for cover.

“Run for it!” Han shouted, giving him a small shove forward before bolting at a full run towards the Falcon. With no other options left, he followed.

 

* * *

 

“General? What’s--” he asked as he grabbed the com. He had been on the tarmac prepping his fighter when the alarms sounded, sending everyone reeling in confusion.

Organa’s voice, cold and sharp, cut him off, “Dameron, get guards around the Millennium Falcon and put everyone on alert that if they see Han or Chewbacca I want them detained.”

“Wha-- what’s going on, General?”

She fell quiet a second, and he could hear her taking several deep breaths, “Ben has escaped. We believe he’s still suppressed, but he’s no longer in his cell.” Her voice shook, it might have been the closest he’d ever remembered to hearing her enraged, “I have no confirmation but I suspect my husband had something to do with this.”

He froze. Escaped. Kylo kriffing Ren had escaped. Gritting his teeth, “Putting everyone on--” his voice cut off as three blurs ran by in a dead run. Not knowing what was going on, everyone was slow to react, spinning in confusion. The comlink dropped from his hand and he spun, raising his blaster and screaming at the others, “STOP THEM!” Raising his blaster, he fired, breaking out in a run and giving chase.

People broke from their daze, opening fire. It was like a flashback to the shipyard in Jakku, chasing the bastard and that damn girl across the hardpack sand towards the old freighter, realizing they weren’t going to be able to get to them before they got away.

Skidding to a halt, he aimed his blaster and fired. Ren cried out and stumbled as his bolt hit him in the shoulder. He aimed again, but the wookie spun, howling in rage, and leveled a bowcaster at him. The bowcaster bolt hit the ground at his feet, sending him flying backwards and crashing into the ground dazed.

As he finally sat up and his eyes focused again, the last thing he saw was Solo and the wookie with Ren thrown over his shoulder, sprinting up the ramp onto the Falcon.

 

* * *

 

He hissed as he was thrown into a seat, his shoulder bleeding. His father flipping switches, and powering up the engines as he sat down into the pilot’s seat. Chewie dropped into the copilot’s chair, angling the deflectors and readying the shields.

“Hold tight, okay? We’ll get you patched up once we’re in hyperspace.” The ship rocked as it lifted from the ground, blaster fire pounding it from the ground. “Come on, baby, don’t you fail me.”

The ship rattled as Han throttled the engines, taking a sharp upward trajectory, aiming to get them off the planet as fast as possible. He nearly was thrown off his seat as the ship veered suddenly to the left, Han swearing under his breath, “Got fighters on our tail, strap in.”

He grabbed the seat’s harness and buckled it just as the ship veered again as they evaded fire. As they continued to duck and dodge their way upward, a red light began to flash that there was a call incoming on the com. Han stared a minute before hitting a button, “Leia, get your people off our ass.”

“What the hell is wrong with you, Han?” she voice seethed, “You’re to turn around and return the prisoner to our custody.”

“ _Prisoner_ ,” Han’s voice was gruff as he tried to hold back his emotion, “that’s all our boy is to you, now?”

“Han…” her voice grew lower. “You have no idea what you’re doing.”

“I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m going to go take down the shields around the First Order’s giant planet sized death star so your fighters have a chance to blow it up.”

“You can’t trust him--” she took a deep breath, “you’re going to get yourself killed.” Her voice trembled, “Han, _please_.”

“Sorry, Princess,” his father said softly. “I’m done following your lead when it comes to him. I trust him.” His hand came down and he cut the com off before she could say anything else.

He closed his eyes as they breached the atmosphere, the ship rattling again as weapon fire bounced off the shields. The hyperdrive hummed, and he opened his eyes in time to watch his father’s hand come down and activate the jump. The stars stretched and then vanished into the flickering blues of hyperspace.

All three of them collectively exhaled the breath they’d been holding in relief.

Han pivoted his seat, “Get the medkit, Chewie, we have to patch up his shoulder.” Chewie jumped out of his seat with a whine, leaving the cockpit to get the medkit. His father just stared at him eyes wide, before nodding to the ship, “Old girl’s still something, isn’t she?”

Closing his eyes again, he laughed, “She is.” Slowly he opened his eyes, meeting his father’s, “Thank you,” he murmured. “For trusting me…” he added, not able to say the rest it. Of what it meant that his father was trusting him and for standing up to _her_ , for once in his life.

His father just nodded before looking away, “She does love you. And she always has meant well. She was wrong but she meant well. I’m sorry I didn’t push back, I should have.”

He nodded, looking away and falling silent. The silence between them lingered a moment, and then Chewie came rushing back in, medkit in hand. Han grabbed it, pulling out bacta patches, “Okay, let’s get you patched up. We’ve still got a job to do.”

 

* * *

 

She lay on her stomach, leaning into a hatch she’d opened on the floor of Luke’s ship. A data module in one hand and a wire cutters in the other. The program she found on the datastick under a folder for TIE maintenance had been programmed into it. Now she just needed to splice it into logic circuits for the shields on Luke’s ship.

“You sure about this?” Finn asked her, nervously. Luke glanced down at her, looking wary himself.

“I’m sure the program I found is the one that handles the dynamic modulation,” she answered, not looking up. “Pray to the gods that you believe in that it’s up to date with the correct frequency codes. I can’t promise that it is.”

“The force is with us, they will be,” Luke said as he turned away. “You fail to understand or trust in it yet.”

Rolling her eyes up she glared at the back of his head before concentrating once again at the task at hand as she spoke, “I’ll keep to trusting myself for the time being.”

“Confidence will keep you to the true path, but willful arrogance will lead you to ruin. There’s a fine line between the two, child. Be careful which side of it you’re on.”

She cut the wires, splicing in the lines of the module before pulling herself up and grabbing the roll of tape, “Is there a book of jedi sounding words of wisdom, or do you just pull this druk out of your ass as you go?” She ducked back down, sealing the spliced wires with the tape. Finishing she sat back up and replaced the cover on the access panel. Looking up, she saw Finn rubbing his face, trying to look anywhere but at her or Luke, and Luke staring intently at her. She frowned, feeling particularly uneasy with the way he was looking at her, “What?”

“I was guided to you for a reason,” he said.

“Ah, I’ll remember that.”

“I am your pathway to the light, girl. He may have tainted you, but I am to be your salvation.”

For a moment she just stared before shaking her head, “Kylo wasn’t exaggerating when he said you were a lunatic.”

Luke’s eyes narrowed, “He’s manipulated your thoughts, twisted your emotions. Did you feel anything but fear of him when he left those marks on your wrist? When he choked you on that dune overlooking Niima because you were late returning? When he battered your mind so hard that you were sick for days?”

She locked her eyes with his, unnerved, “Stay out of my mind.”

“He even calls you his kitten, because he turned you into his little pet… it’s a joke to him.” The corners of his mouth twisted into something that almost resembled a smile.

“You’re a liar, and you’re the one trying to manipulate me.”

His mouth flattened into a thin line again, “I am your truth, _girl_. And you will see. You will see.”

Finn cleared his throat, “We’re going to be there soon, aren’t we?”

“Yes,” Luke answered, turning back to stare into the void of hyperspace outside the viewport.

She took a deep breath, grateful for Finn diverting the psycho’s attention from her for now. Somehow they were going to have to get away from Skywalker once they were on the planet. Somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit jumpier than I like with so many short sections and POVs. Hopefully it reads okay.
> 
> Luke's wasn't lying when he said that he couldn't manipulate a mind the way Kylo did, but he downplayed his own skills, as Rey found out when she realized he'd been prowling around her memories. And it seemed right that he would use the fact that Kylo early in this story was creepy and pretty horrible and probably doesn't deserve forgiveness. Don't worry, Rey's giving it to him anyway. 
> 
> And my dark creepy Luke may be unstable, but he's also shrewd and manipulative. He's definitely trying to sow doubt in Rey's mind.
> 
> I pulled the shield modulation idea out of my ass, much in the way Rey suspects Luke is pulling his wise words of wisdom from his. I did wonder about the shields on Starkiller, I mean, on Scarif in Rouge One, there was a gate, cause dropping your entire planet's shields to let someone in is kind of dumb. There didn't appear to be anything like that on Starkiller, so did they have to drop their shields entirely every time a TIE had to enter or leave the atmosphere? I made up an answer so I could find a way to get Luke and Co. onto Starkiller.
> 
> Han can't help but try to defend Leia, even when he admits she was wrong, and that he was wrong for not standing up to her. 
> 
> Love all the comments, you're all wonderful.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han raised his grandfather’s saber, “I don’t know where in the hell you got this--”
> 
> “Takadona,” he cut in, “Maz. Don’t ask me how she got a hold of it.”
> 
> “I used this once, before Luke lost it. On Hoth… long story,” Han seemed lost a moment. “Just before the next wave of druk went down. The Empire found the base. I barely got your mother out of there… she might have been even more stubborn then than she is now,” his voice trailed off before he shook his head, “I guess it doesn’t matter, seems like a different lifetime.”
> 
> Walking over, he extended his hand, first taking his own saber and clipping it to his belt, before reaching for the other. Han released it, eyes distant. “You never talked about it,” he said. His father had always had stories to tell, lots of them from his smuggling days and wild days in his youth. But he never talked about the time he spent as part of the Rebellion. All the stories he knew of his father’s time there was from the legends that remained, told and retold across the galaxy.
> 
> “Luke and I rescued your mother, Luke and her later returned the favor, I fell in love with her, we blew up some death stars, had a party with some ewoks. You know, typical stuff.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whee, fast update.

“Just hold still…”

“I am holding still,” he answered, glancing at Han with annoyance.

“Don’t talk either, I don’t want my hand to slip and slice your neck open.” Han angled the cutters, slowly working it through the metal of the collar. It made a crackling noise as the band was completely severed. Without waiting for Han, he reached up and grabbed the ends, bending the metal away from his neck and ripping it off, flinging it away from him. It bounced off the far wall with a clang.

Clenching his fists, he closed his eyes, breathing deep as he finally could feel everything around him again. Feel how his father and Chewie were watching him apprehensively. Opening his eyes he looked at Han, “I’m fine. Much better.”

Han nodded and sat down, “Do you know how to disable the shields on that thing?”

The corners of his mouth twitched down. He was going to have to make a choice soon about who he intended to betray. There was no way he would get out of this without either having to betray his father or betray Snoke. It should have been an easy decision.

It wasn’t.

But there was still time yet, and his best chance for finding Rey would be from the inside, “I have full clearance,” he responded. “If you get us onto the base, I’d be able to just walk in.”

Han frowned, not looking happy about this, “How are you going to explain how you got back?”

“There’s two people on that base that would dare ask me that,” he said. “And if they asked I’d probably go with the truth.” Han looked at him quizzically, “Well… a version of the truth. I’d say I lied and said I’d help so you’d bring me back. It would mean the base was on alert that you were there, but I suspect you can keep out of sight.”

A silence dragged out for several seconds, the slightest bit of apprehension in his father’s eyes. Han Solo might be many things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. He could see the man weighing potential outcomes, possibility of betrayal.

He shook his head, “You said you trusted me, Dad.”

The man blinked, taking a slow breath before nodding, “I trust you. It just feels like I’m going to be letting you walk into a rancor den.”

A grin spread across his face, “You are, but I’m one of the rancors.”

 

* * *

 

They made a stealth approach to the planet, doing their best to stay out of sight and off the scanners. She stood, holding the headrest of each seat to for balance as she stared at the green and white ball they were approaching.

“So if the frequency codes are wrong, what will happen?”

She glanced at Finn, before looking back out the viewport, “In most scenarios,we’ll hit the shields and our shields will cause us to bounce off.”

“In most?”

Shrugging, “If we get an incorrect modulation rate somehow, the harmonic vibrations could create a feedback loop that would rip us apart.”

“Oh.” Finn looked slightly horrified, “Well, good to know.”

“It’s pretty unlikely. If the system accepts our access code then I’m pretty sure the modulation frequency it gives us will be fine.”

Luke was silent. He had been blissfully silent for the last twenty minutes, staring straight ahead out the viewport, a dark, brooding look on his face. She braced against the chairs, leaning forward slightly, eying Luke for a moment. She’d entered Kylo’s mind once without even trying, could she do it again?

Opening herself to the force like Kylo had taught her, she reached out, feeling the pulsing vibrations of both men in the force. Luke flared violently, pulsing brightly through the force as he churned violently like the winds of a sandstorm. Finn was quieter, meeker, dimmer than the force users, and his force signature was nearly drowned out by the beast that was Luke’s.

Not entirely sure what she was doing, she pushed, ever so slightly against towards the force signature. Her mind brushed against his and her hands clenched on the back of the seat, it was like trying to walk through a dark red haze. Predominated by a fog of seething anger and a desire for revenge, but under that was a certainty of his own righteousness.

And then in an instant it was gone, Luke’s mind was a blank wall, even the storm that was his force signature had muted down into something more like what she felt from Finn. He was looking at her and she met his eyes, expecting anger, but instead found his eyes calm, maybe even a little impressed.

_Bold little girl,_ his mind whispered into hers. _But you have much to learn, youngling._

She looked away, focusing instead on the approaching planet, about to withdraw back into herself she brushed against something that felt very familiar.

_Someone_ who felt very familiar. He was faint, a distant vibration in space that she couldn’t pinpoint, but it was him. It was Kylo. For a second she held her breath, and then noticed Luke’s eyes on her again, narrowing suspiciously. She tried to guard her mind, wishing she had some idea of one actually did guard their minds, quickly pulling inward and closing off her mind to the force. It took effort not to let her mind loop over who she had just felt, not wanting to risk giving to Luke what she had just discovered, assuming she hadn’t already.

They approached the planet and she flinched in anticipation of possible impact against the shields, but not impact ever came, instead their shields and the planet’s pulsed against one another as they slipped effortlessly through.

“We did it,” Finn said, almost disbelievingly. He looked at her, a grin spreading on his face, “ _You_ did it.”

She smiled, ignoring a scoff of annoyance coming from Luke, “With the data you stole.”

Luke shook his head, “We’re not close to done yet. Celebrate after we succeed at the task at hand.”

“What exactly is the task at hand? Do we have any idea what the kriff we’re doing?” Finn asked.

“We’ll use the force. It’s our guide.”

“That’s not how the force works,” Finn snapped. “I might not know much, but I there is no way that’s how the force works.”

“And what do you know at all of the force, _boy_?” Luke growled.

“I know a little about it,” Rey cut in. “And you’re full of druk. Just say we’re winging this.”

“And you show how little you understand,” Luke sneered at her.

“Sure, whatever.”

“Insolent youngling,” he muttered, his eyes locking to hers. There was contempt in his voice, but his eyes didn’t quite to seem to match, instead they were looking at her as if she was something puzzling that he was trying to decipher.

“I’d get low,” Finn’s voice broke through the latest stare down between her and Luke. “It confuses their scanners.”

Luke glanced at him and nodded, descending quickly and skimming over the trees, looking for a hidden pocket to set the ship down. Cautiously, she opened her mind up again, reaching out and searching. Brushing against _him_ again, she found he was closer. With a burst of energy she felt him sear even brighter and she was certain he had just entered the planet’s atmosphere.

Exhaling as the shuttle set down, she closed her eyes, closing herself off and trying to guard her thoughts. Kylo was here. He was here.

 

* * *

 

He hadn’t had much time to react to his father’s answer of how they were going to get through the shields. And even less since at least half a minute was his mind buzzing with disbelief before he’d found his voice, “You’re going to make a landing approach at light speed?!”

“Strap in,” was all Han said and he had the sense to do it quickly before they dropped out of hyperspace _within_ Starkiller’s atmosphere. The falcon careened towards the ground and he wasn’t entirely sure they weren’t about die. He grabbed the consoles on either side of him and braced himself as the ship shuddered and threatened to lose stabilization.

_“Pull up!”_ Chewie howled.

“I am pulling up!” Han shouted, the controls wrenched back as far as they could go, trying to level the ship and slow their descent. They leveled slightly as they slammed into the tops of the trees cutting a trail of destruction through the snow covered evergreens.

Chewie let out a whine and Han shouted, frustrated, “If I go any higher they’ll see us!”

The ship broke out of the strand of trees to an open expanse of snow, the ship skimmed the ground, skipping like a stone across the water, then spinning as it slid like a child’s sled before coming to rest on the edge of a cliff.

Letting out a breath, he sat their a moment, before he started to laugh. Han glanced at him, a confused look on his face, “What?”

He shook his head, gasping between bouts of laughter, “You’re crazy, certifiably crazy.”

“I think we established that already, and hey, I got us here, didn’t I?”

Taking deep breaths, he got himself under control, “Yes, you did get us here. And amazingly we made it in one piece.” Closing his eyes, he stretched out his reach… smiling as he felt a familiar presence shining through the force.

His kitten _was_ here. He couldn’t pinpoint her, but she was here, on this planet.

“Yeah, now we just got to do what we got to do,” he opened his eyes and looked at his father. Han squinted at him. “Shoulder holding up?”

Releasing the seat’s harness, he stood and nodded, “I’ll be fine.”

Han swallowed, “You sure about this? Just walking in there? We could sneak in, do this together…”

“It’s not just the shields, I need to find out what happened to Rey,” he said, firmly, “I need to be in there to do it. You’ll need to get away from this ship though. If I have to say how I got here, they’ll be looking for you.”

For a moment Han just stared at him thoughtfully, then nodded, “Chewie and I have a case of explosives. If the goal is to take out the oscillator, the fighters probably aren’t going to mind a little help from the ground.”

He nodded, getting up and walking across the uneven floor. Before he could get far Han’s voice stopped him, “Ben…Kylo… wait.” He turned, frowning, as his father scrambled across the the way to a storage locker, “We grabbed these before we went to get you.” The man turned and there was a lightsaber in each hand. His, and his grandfather’s. They’d been on him when the Resistance took him on Takadona. Han raised his grandfather’s saber, “I don’t know where in the hell you got this--”

“Takadona,” he cut in, “Maz. Don’t ask me how she got a hold of it.”

“I used this once, before Luke lost it. On Hoth… long story,” Han seemed lost a moment. “Just before the next wave of druk went down. The Empire found the base. I barely got your mother out of there… she might have been even more stubborn then than she is now,” his voice trailed off before he shook his head, “I guess it doesn’t matter, seems like a different lifetime.”

Walking over, he extended his hand, first taking his own saber and clipping it to his belt, before reaching for the other. Han released it, eyes distant. “You never talked about it,” he said. His father had always had stories to tell, lots of them from his smuggling days and wild days in his youth. But he never talked about the time he spent as part of the Rebellion. All the stories he knew of his father’s time there was from the legends that remained, told and retold across the galaxy.

“Luke and I rescued your mother, Luke and her later returned the favor, I fell in love with her, we blew up some death stars, had a party with some ewoks. You know, typical stuff.”

He snorted and found himself smiling, “I’d like to hear it… I’d like to hear more.” His own words surprised him, and he meant it, he would like to hear more. He’d like to sit down with his dad and drink Corellian brandy and listen to the man talk about the old days, because that was a part of his past that shaped who the man had become.

And unlike his mother and his uncle, he believed time had made his father a better person. A genuinely good and kind person. And an utter lunatic, given recent events, but in a good way, a fearless way.

Han looked genuinely surprised, “Let’s survive this, and if you still want I can give you my side of that story.”

Nodding, he hooked the second lightsaber to his belt, turning and exiting the ship into the snow, heading across the icy landscape. It was a few miles to the base entrance, but chances were he’d run into a snow speeder on patrol to flag down and be able to get a ride back.

He had a choice to make. Though he wasn’t entirely sure he was being honest with himself by thinking he hadn’t already made it.

 

* * *

 

“I could go scout a bit,” she ventured, trying to sound casual in her suggestion. They were standing in the tiny clearing amid the trees next to the shuttle. The icy wind swirled around them, and the white powdery stuff-- snow, she assumed, from what she’d seen and read in holos-- would whip up like sand would back on Jakku. And like the sand it scratched and stung their faces. Unlike sand it also was cold and wet, leaving her face to sting even more in the bite of the wind.

Luke ducked out of the back of the ship, some kind of dark cloth in his hands, eying her suspiciously for a long moment before nodding towards Finn, “Wasn’t he stationed here? If anyone should go out scouting, he would make the most sense.” Finn glanced up, looking between the two of them.

“He’s at more risk if he’s caught,” she offered. “They want me alive.”

“All the more reason for you not to go,” Luke approached her, shaking out the cloth in his hands. “He’s also better prepared for the cold,” he added, glancing at the plastoid stormtrooper armor Finn still wore, before draping the cloth over her. It was a poncho, she realized, the cloth was heavy and seemed to block the wind. It was much too big for her, but she was grateful for the added layering.

“Thank you,” she muttered, almost begrudgingly. “And I’d be fine to do a short reconnaissance run.”

Luke turned to Finn, “Are you willing to go and look over the area?”

Finn looked like it was the last thing he wanted to do. Glancing at Rey he raised his eyebrows and shrugged almost apologetically, “If you want…”

“Go, we’ll decide the next course of action when you return,” Luke said, turning his back on Finn, who backed away before turning and wandering off into the trees. She watched him go, wondering if he was going to use this as his chance to get the hell away. It’s not like she could blame him if he did, since that was what she was thinking about doing when she asked about it.

She pulled the poncho tighter around her shoulders, shivering. Casting a sideways glance at Luke, she found herself certain that he was well aware that she had been thinking about running.

“This hostility between us accomplishes nothing,” she turned to find Luke’s eyes resting on her. “I am trying to help you, girl, even if you refuse to see it.”

“I don't need or want your help.”

He let out an exaggerated sigh, falling silent for a moment before changing tracks in the conversation, “You grew up on Jakku.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious of the sudden change of subject. “Not that it's your business, but yes.”

“Fourteen years ago?”

Her lips dipped down, she hadn't mentioned how long she’d lived on Jakku and he was suspiciously accurate. But he had already shown that he had dipped into her mind, he may have just pulled this fact from her earlier.

“Yes. Around the time of the new Mandalorian rebellion. That would make sense.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

She glared at Luke, who smiled before turning away, saying nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have had this done last night, but that last bit from Rey's perspective was a bitch and didn't want to flow.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments. :)


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He turned around a rock outcropping and collided into something large. Something large and hairy. A loud yowl filled the air and he stumbled back, tripping over his own feet and landing on his ass. Looking up, eyes wide, he saw the bowcaster aimed at his face first, staring at it and not quite making sense of it, before tracing his eyes up to take in the monster of a wookie standing over him.
> 
> His mind spun in confusion as he held up his hands, his eyes darting to the man rushing up next to the wookie, blaster pistol in hand. “What do we got here, Chewie?”
> 
> The wookie let out a growl. He blinked, his mind finally seeming to work again, “Resistance?” he asked, voice hopeful.
> 
> Another howl, the man waved his blaster dismissively, “Let me handle this.”
> 
> He blinked, “You understand that thing?”
> 
> The man seemed to lift himself up taller, his features irate, “Yeah, and that thing understands you too, so watch yourself.”
> 
> “I… um… sorry. But you are Resistance?”
> 
> The man looked him over once, eying the plastoid armor, before nodding, his blaster still raised, “You look like a stormtrooper.”
> 
> He could feel the tension in the air rise, “I'm Fulcrum. I'm on your side.”

He really hated this place.

Ignoring the fact that it was a sun eating, system destroying monstrosity, or the fact that it was crawling with First Order and the First Order was going to be kind of keen on killing him now, it was still a desolate, miserable iceball of a planet. High on his list of “things I didn’t miss since leaving this hellhole” was snow, craggy ice covered canyons, cold, sprawling strands of snow covered evergreen trees, blowing snow, icy winds, snow, ice, and more snow-- and cold, cold deserved another mention because cold utterly sucked.

Slipping down a rocky, ice coated slope, freezing his ass off because he was in standard issue armor, not the low temperature armor they issued them back when he was stationed here, he tried to figure out what he was going to do. He could keep going, get himself away from Luke-- the guy was making him more and more nervous, and the girl couldn’t seem to stop antagonizing him. But… well, where was he going to go? Whether or not he thought they had much of a chance to do anything to destroy this place, at this point the only thing that seemed to make sense was to at least try. And he sure as kriff wasn’t going to be able to do that alone.

He made his way through the trees, not really paying attention or bothering to really scout the area. No one would be up this way, it was too far from the main base, they didn’t patrol this far. Instead he stayed lost in his head, trying to figure out what to do. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he could leave Rey alone with the maniac, even if he was pretty sure her intentions when she asked to scout were to take the opportunity and run. Given Luke’s focus on her, he couldn’t entirely blame her… even though--

His thoughts were cut off as he turned around a rock outcropping and collided into something large. Something large and hairy. A loud yowl filled the air and he stumbled back, tripping over his own feet and landing on his ass. Looking up, eyes wide, he saw the bowcaster aimed at his face first, staring at it and not quite making sense of it, before tracing his eyes up to take in the monster of a wookie standing over him.

His mind spun in confusion as he held up his hands, his eyes darting to the man rushing up next to the wookie, blaster pistol in hand. “What do we got here, Chewie?”

The wookie let out a growl. He blinked, his mind finally seeming to work again, “Resistance?” he asked, voice hopeful.

Another howl, the man waved his blaster dismissively, “Let me handle this.”

He blinked, “You understand that thing?”

The man seemed to lift himself up taller, his features irate, “Yeah, and that thing understands you too, so watch yourself.”

“I… um… sorry. But you are Resistance?”

The man looked him over once, eying the plastoid armor, before nodding, his blaster still raised, “You look like a stormtrooper.”

He could feel the tension in the air rise, “I'm Fulcrum. I'm on your side.”

The man pulled himself up straighter, mistrust clear in his eyes, “Are you?” There was a long pause, “Then you'd know what happened on Takadona?”

A wave of annoyance hit him, despite the part of him who could understand why the man wanted some kind of evidence he was who he said he was. “Seriously?” The man just raised his eyebrows. “I killed two of my squadmates and knocked out Kylo Ren for you guys to capture him. Then had your man knock me out so I could go back and risk my neck some more by sending you the schematics to this base and break the girl out of the prison block.” He didn't hide the irritation in his tone.

The man’s frown deepened, “That was the last they heard from you. What happened? Is Rey with you?”

“Stole a TIE fighter but got shot down and crashed on a deserted moon,” he nodded back towards the way he came, “and yeah, the girl’s here too.”

“How’d you get here if you crashed on a deserted moon?” the man looked at him skeptically.

“We…” he paused, that question wasn’t entirely easy to explain. “We met guy…”

“You- _met a guy_?” The man’s eyes rolled towards to glance at the wookie, “On some deserted moon?”

“Yeah. Um... “ he shrugged, “we think he’s Luke Skywalker.” The man and wookie turned their heads to look at each other before looking incredulously back to him. He sighed, feeling frustrated, “I mean, he didn’t ever directly say so, but he said his name was Luke, threw me across a kriffing cave without touching me, and Rey seemed pretty certain in who it was.” The man’s expression changed, seeming pensive. “Look, we’re here to help. Is there a plan?”

For what seemed like an eternity, the man just seemed to stare at him skeptically, “What’s your name?”

“One of the Resistance guys started to call me Finn,” he answered, the man flicked his eyes to the wookie, who lowered his bowcaster. He felt a tiny bit of tension leave his body.

The man holstered his blaster, still looking apprehensive, “I’m Han Solo, this is Chewie.”

The wookie let out a trill that he thought might be a greeting. It it took a second for his mind to react to the name, then he blinked, “Han Solo? The Rebellion General?”

Han’s mouth tipped down, “That was a long time ago.” A pause, “Rey’s here? She’s okay?”

He glanced over his shoulder towards the direction of Luke’s ship, “Assuming they haven’t killed each other yet, they’re back at the ship.” Han raised his eyebrows questioningly. “They don’t exactly get along.” He hesitated, a long pause drawing out before he just shrugged again, “Guy doesn’t seem exactly stable.”

The wind whipped around them. Han said nothing for a lot pause, then finally spoke, “There’s a thermal oscillator in precinct 47 of this base. They think if we take it out it’ll cause a reaction that’ll blow this place. The Resistance is sending fighters, we got someone who’s trying to take down the shields. We’re heading to the oscillator. My friend here has a bag of explosives.”

Processing this, he nodded, taking a moment to think through what to do next. He could offer to go with these two and help them. Getting the hell away from Luke made that seem appealing. But that would leave Rey with Luke, and leave both of them without knowledge of what the Resistance was going to do.

And Luke, despite being mynock druk, would be an asset. Any bonus they could get in the odds department probably shouldn’t be overlooked.

“I’ll head back and let Luke and Rey know. We might be able to come help do some damage.”

Han nodded, his voice sounding satisfied, but his eyes still pensive, “Okay, good.” He turned, starting to head back the way he came when Han’s voice stopped him, “Hey… kid?” Stopping, he looked back over his shoulder, “Do me a favor, don’t tell Luke our names. Just say you met some Resistance.”

His brow furrowed, “You knew him, didn’t you? From back in the rebellion?”

The man looked away a moment, then met his eyes, “I knew him. I knew Luke. A long time ago.”

He frowned and then nodded, “I ran into two Resistance members on their way to the oscillator with explosives.”

A small smile spread on Han’s face and he nodded, “Thanks, kid.”

He nodded, turning, and heading back towards Luke’s ship.

 

* * *

 

She was looking over the map of the base, sitting in the passenger seat of Luke’s ship. It wasn’t clear what she was looking for, but it gave her something to do and it was a lot warmer out of the wind on the ship.

The hatch opened and she looked up to see Finn, feeling a wave of relief that he had come back and she wasn’t stuck with Luke alone. Luke followed inside, closing the ship’s hatch. He brushed past Finn and she glared at him as he leaned over her, “Precinct 47.”

“What?”

Luke gave her an annoyed look, but Finn spoke before Luke could, “I ran into some Resistance men. There’s a thermal oscillator, they think if they can blow it, the whole planet will go. It’s in precinct 47.”

She frowned, tapping few buttons so the holo projection of the map jumped in front of them. With a few more taps she’d found the oscillator and zoomed in. “It’s huge,” she muttered. Squinting to look at it.

“How do you do enough damage to destroy something like that?” Finn asked, shaking his head.

“Little by little and bit by bit,” Luke said, his voice surprisingly thoughtful. “Fighters from the air, saboteurs from the ground.”

Finn flicked his eyes at the man, “What can we really do, though? We don’t have any explosives.”

For a second Luke raised his eyebrows, “Is it possible to get inside?”

“No,” Finn said.

“Yes,” she spoke over him. Luke glanced between the two of them and Finn just looked at her confused, “I’ve seen this architecture before. I’ve spent my life crawling through this architecture, it’s not much different than wrecks of the Star Destroyers on Jakku.” Crossing her arms, she glanced at Finn, “If he can get me to a conventional junction station, I can get you in.”

Luke’s eyes narrowed slightly and she snorted, carefully pushing the memory of feeling Kylo well back and hidden in her mind, “You think I’m setting you up? You’re a mind reader, take a look. I can get you in.”

If he did, she never felt it, but the corners of his mouth crooked upwards, though there was something dark and calculating in his eyes, “I trust you, child. As I’m sure you trust that I won’t leave this place without you once its destruction is imminent.”

She swallowed nervously, there was no malice in his voice, but the last sentence had the faintest edge to the words. A warning more than a promise. Quickly she opted to change the subject, “What’s getting inside get you though? We don’t have any explosives,” she looked at the schematics to escape the intensity of his stare.

“That thing is filled with circuit junctions that regulate the power flow,” Luke smiled, “lots of power going through them. All you need is to create a short.”

She cocked her head thoughtfully. As much as she hated to give him credit, that was a crafty idea. Use the device’s own internal mechanics and wiring against it.

Finn looked confused, “What happens if you short them?”

“You get thirty seconds or so to get some distance before they blow,” she answered, glancing at Luke who nodded approvingly. “Aside from the structural damage it’ll do, it also will wittle away at how efficiently it functions-- make it more unstable.” She glanced at Luke, “You know a thing or two about mechanics.”

“As do you,” he responded, turning and opening the hatch. “Come, I feel that time is short. We need to get moving.”

 

* * *

 

He had to walk awhile before he got within range of the patrols, but once he was it was fairly simple to wave down a snow speeder. The trooper on board had been startled as he recognized him, then obedient as he ordered the man to take him back to the base.

It didn’t take long before the vibrations in his head started. He had been expecting it. Snoke wasn’t here, but he had special tech within the projection rooms, on this base and all of his ships, that amplified his powers and reach. It still was limiting, and the farther away his physical body was from the hologram, the more limited his powers were. Nothing that compared to the pure terror it was to face him in person.

But that extension of his reach was there, and either the trooper had sent a message before they started back to base, or his master had just enough power to sense him. And while the whispers and vibrations were not intelligible, not yet, they didn’t need to be for him to know what was wanted.

Snoke was requesting his presence. That he go to the projection room to speak with him immediately. If he was to remain loyal, or even give the appearance of remaining loyal, he would need to face his master.

He could use this, turn it into an opportunity to determine where he could find Rey. Though he would need to be careful, ever so careful. Even from afar, Snoke was potent, and if he gave away any sign that he was to betray his master-- that he was even considering betraying his master-- he would find himself crushed and bleeding on the floor of the projection room.

The speeder rode over a rise and he saw the entrance to the main base down below. He let his mind offer an affirmation and Snoke’s whispers quieted.

Closing his eyes, he began to hide thoughts, creating small pockets in his mind to squirrel away the things he didn’t want Snoke to see. He concentrated on the most dangerous feelings and thoughts. It had to be subtle, he couldn’t hide everything or it would be obvious what he had done. He left much of his weaknesses on display-- his growing affection towards his father, his resentment and feelings of betrayal towards Snoke for being willing to sacrifice him, his possessive and protective feelings towards Rey. Let him find those, fixate on them and scold him for them, so he could hide the fact that he was considering helping his father help the Resistance, hide the fact that he was perfectly willing to sacrifice Snoke and the entire First Order if it meant he’d get his kitten back and keep her safe.

The speeder slowed to a stop and he slid off, walking through the doors to the base without any hesitation, setting a rapid pace as he strode through the hallways, heading towards his destination.

There was a flash of silver as someone fell into step next to him. The corners of his mouth tipped, of course it would be her. The only one other than Hux that would have authority to ask him what had happened. He tipped his head slightly to her, “Captain.”

“Commander Ren,” Phasma’s voice was calm, “You’ve returned.”

He gave a curt nod, speaking quickly before she could begin to question him, “I’ve been summoned by Supreme Leader. I will give a quick debriefing on how I was able to escape the Resistance scum once that meeting is completed.

Phasma bowed her head slightly, coming to a stop. She had no intention of being the reason he was late to see Snoke. He continued, not looking at the passing storm troopers or officers, his eyes fixed onto the floor, until he stood in front of the ridiculously large double doors.

Taking a deep breath, he took one more minute to further reinforce his mental defenses before stepping in front of the doors, triggering the sensor. Ever so slowly, the doors parted, and he stepped forward inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheels are all still spinning and pieces are in motion. 
> 
> Thank you all for all the comments and praise. Love you guys :)


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My boy,” he flinched, though Snoke’s voice was gentle, almost affectionate, his choice of words could not have been an accident. His master knew better than anyone how being called that word would set his teeth on edge, would bring back the memories of his uncle spitting it at him like an epitaph, boy , boy , boy . Snoke smiled, “you know the difficult decisions that sometimes need to be made. Did you think I did so without thought? Without anguish that I would lose you? My apprentice, who has served me loyally now for all these years?”
> 
> “And yet…” he started, sarcasm edging his tone.
> 
> Snoke cut him off, “My apprentice, you know as well as I do the danger. You know what will happen when Skywalker returns. He will rebuild, he will again seek to twist the galaxy into chaos. He will strike against us to keep us from pressing forward to impose the order and structure the galaxy needs to not tear itself apart.” The hologram’s massive hand extended towards him, “After all you sacrificed, Kylo Ren, to see an end to his madness? Would you have had me risk allowing him to rise once more, to have had those that died at your side to have died in vain? Risk this in order to bring you back?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is an unedited special since I have to get changed into my riding clothes and head to the stables. Hopefully it doesn't ramble off into gibberish anywhere.
> 
> I'm thinking I'll probably be concentrating on this story for awhile, since we're reaching the climax at a rapid rate. Unless I get blocked on it, anyway.

She shivered in the wind, grateful for Luke’s poncho and annoyed as kriffing hell she had to be grateful to Luke for anything.

“You couldn’t have been more than five,” his voice came from behind her. She shot a glare over her shoulder and he smiled, “When you were abandoned?”

“I wasn’t abandoned,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Weren’t you? What do you call leaving a helpless child in a harsh, ruthless environment to fend for herself?”

She spun, her fists clenched, eyes blazing at the man, “They were coming back.”

Luke looked bemused, his voice sympathetic, “Poor delusional child. Did clinging to that thought help you survive?”

Already strung tight, a snarl rose in her throat and a wave of power rolled off of her at the man. But it never touched him, raising his hand he deflected whatever she had done away into the trees, leaving a twisted path of damage in it’s wake. Ahead of them, Finn let out a startled yelp, looking wide eyed between the damage and the two of them.

Luke’s eyes gleamed coldly and he smiled, “Control, girl, you must learn control.” He brushed past her, raising his voice as the distance between them increased, “The force is especially strong with you. That may have been the reason.”

“The reason for what?” she snapped, starting to follow after the man. She glanced at Finn who just raised his eyebrows at her as she went by and then followed a few steps behind her.

“That they left you. There are many out there who fear force users. Who shun even their own get if they find out they are force-sensitive.”

“They left me to protect me.”

“Another delusion.”

“Kriff off,” she growled.

He paused, looking over his shoulder, “Or perhaps it was just done out of spite because they knew there were those like you looking for you.”

She stopped, her brow furrowed, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Luke just smiled and turned again, “The Force creates its own paths, no matter how unlikely they are. That it should lead me to you, after all this time…”

“What is _that_ supposed to mea--”

A loud crack shook the air around them, and through the top of the trees they caught sight of an X-Wing going insanely fast, trying to stabilize its flight. Another crack followed, then another, and another, the fighters were nearly out of their sight when they finally were all flying stable and grouping into formation.

“Did they just come out of hyperspace in the _atmosphere_?!” Finn said, stunned.

“Looks like it,” Rey began, only to have Luke cut her off.

“We need to hurry if we intend to help. Talk later.” He set off at a rapid pace. She and Finn looked at one another before following.

 

* * *

 

His footsteps echoed across the cavernous room as he approached the dais. Stepping in front of it, the air shimmered with blue light and the giant hologram filled the space, towering above him. Snoke looked down at him with a thoughtful, shrewd look.

Bowing his head slightly, “Supreme Leader.”

Snoke’s eyes narrowed. It would have been proper for him to take a knee before his master, and his refusal to do so communicated his discontent better than any words ever would. He could have hid it, dropped to his knee and pretended all was well-- but Snoke would have seen through that. Seen through it and pillaged his mind for the secrets he was hiding. With no deception between them, or rather no obvious deception, there was no reason for Snoke to dig. Instead he would simply skim the surface of his mind, staying far away from his secrets.

“My apprentice,” Snoke’s voice was weedling, raspy, as he gave a simpering smile, “I can not tell you how glad I am to see you have found your way home.”

He raised his eyebrows, “It would have been easier if aid had been sent to help me.”

Snoke pressed his hands together, tapping the fingertips against one another, “You are upset at the unfortunate choice I had to make once we knew the location of the terrorist base.”

There was the slightest pressure in his head. He didn’t fight it. As long as Snoke stayed far away from the depths where he’d hidden his secrets, he would let him in. He tilted his chin up, “Why would I be upset that I was to be _sacrificed_ for your greater good?”

“My boy,” he flinched, though Snoke’s voice was gentle, almost affectionate, his choice of words could not have been an accident. His master knew better than anyone how being called that word would set his teeth on edge, would bring back the memories of his uncle spitting it at him like an epitaph, boy, _boy_ , **_boy_ **. Snoke smiled, “you know the difficult decisions that sometimes need to be made. Did you think I did so without thought? Without anguish that I would lose you? My apprentice, who has served me loyally now for all these years?”

“And yet…” he started, sarcasm edging his tone.

Snoke cut him off, “My apprentice, you know as well as I do the danger. You know what will happen when Skywalker returns. He will rebuild, he will again seek to twist the galaxy into chaos. He will strike against us to keep us from pressing forward to impose the order and structure the galaxy needs to not tear itself apart.” The hologram’s massive hand extended towards him, “After all you sacrificed, Kylo Ren, to see an end to his madness? Would you have had me risk allowing him to rise once more, to have had those that died at your side to have died in vain? Risk this in order to bring you back?”

He swallowed, memories of screams and clashing lightsabers, and his uncle’s wild eyes and vicious snarl as the man’s green blade bore down against his yellow one, flooded his mind for a moment before he shook his head, “I suppose the fact that I had delivered a replacement into your hands before my capture did not affect your decision in any way?”

A wry smile crossed Snoke’s face, “The girl, yes, an impressive and improbable find, I must say.” He paused, a slight edge to his tone, “We shall discuss her, but first, show me what happened, and how you found your way back to me.”

Frowning, he glanced suspiciously at Snoke before sighing, opening his mind up and drawing the memories of his capture, of his mother’s attempts to interrogate him. He very carefully pressed the memories of his father’s saving him, making sure there was nothing to indicate he had any intention but to use Han to return back.

As Snoke pulled back, he stared down at him in disappointment, shaking his head, “Your emotions are still your weakness. Your attachments to those who are so much lesser than you. Even now, after the things that Organa did to you, to her only son, you still feel apprehension at the thought of her dying.” He frowned, looking down at his own feet, “And Han Solo,” Snoke continued, “He grants you a scrap of affection and trust and you are willing to forgive him? After he delivered you into the hands of Organa? After a lifetime of failures to protect you?”

“Does my forgiveness matter if my loyalty is still to you?”

“You’re attachment matters,” Snoke’s voice became cold, “Han Solo and the wookie should have died by your hand the moment you arrived and they were no longer needed.”

He winced, “Why? Do you think this place is so fragile that a wookie and an old fool can destroy it? They served their purpose and brought me back to serve you once again.”

Snoke shook his head dismissively, “Neither Solo nor the Resistance fighters that have just started to arrive are a threat to this base. They are gnats in the face of this glorious machine that we’ve constructed.” He leaned forward, pointing a long finger down at him, “Your weakness is a far greater threat. These ties that bind you must be broken before you can reach your full potential.”

“The girl,” he said, simply, his eyes sharp as they met Snoke’s, “I wish to talk about the girl.”

“The girl and your weaknesses are quite connected, Kylo Ren,” Snoke’s eyes glittered. “How could I allow her to stay in your… _care_ … when I see how your emotions weaken you? Given her escape, it only solidifies my belief that she would manipulate you too easily.”

“Escape?”

“Yes, it was unfortunate. Hux is already aware of my displeasure at his incompetence. Both with the traitorous Stormtrooper and his inability to properly guard that rat of a girl, or to keep a fighter from being stolen.” He blinked up at Snoke as he took this in, beating down his sense of surprise and hoping to keep it from Snoke’s scans of his mind. “We will, of course, find her again. Track her across the galaxy if needed, and bring her back to serve us. Though, again, how can I trust her with you when you allow yourself to be swayed so easily?”

The realization hit him hard, Snoke had no idea the girl was here now on this base. He stomped down the shock as fast as he could, though the narrowing of Snoke’s eyes told him the Supreme Leader has sensed something. Looking up, “The girl trusts me, and my loyalty is to you. It makes the most sense for her to remain with him.”

“Perhaps if you prove to me that you are no longer ruled by your attachments… perhaps I may consider allowing you to be the girl’s guide and teacher,” a wry smile crossed Snoke’s face. “Han Solo wanted you bring the shields down. I think we can do so… I’ll inform Hux to have our fighters ready to engage and eliminate the enemy as they come in. That you accomplished the task he set for you should allow you to get close enough.”

A rising dread rose in his chest, “Close enough?”

Snoke smiled, “Close enough to sever the ties that weaken you. You know what must be done. Once this is accomplished and the Resistance is destroyed, we shall find the girl and she shall be yours. And then we shall put our efforts into finding Skywalker, so you can finally have the satisfaction of seeing him impaled upon your blade.”

He clenched his fists and closed his eyes, his heart pounding. What he was being asked to do…

“This is a test such that even you, Master of the Knights of Ren, has never had to face. We shall see if you are capable of proving your strength.” The hologram shimmered as it blinked out, “we shall see…”

 

* * *

 

The wind whipped around him as he rolled his eyes, “Oh, you’re cold?”

Chewie just whined, and he rolled his eyes. What did the giant rug expect him to do? Give him his coat? Looking over the access door he glanced up at the wookie, “Think we’ll have to blow it if we want to get inside. I think if we really want to do any damage we need to be setting the blasts inside. What do you think?”

“ _We want to weaken the stability of the structure. We’ll just be scratching the surface if we blast out here,”_ Chewie answered, pulling out one of the explosives. If there was one thing he could count on, it was Chewie to be willing to go all in. They both knew well enough that once they blasted their way in it would alert the First Order and a squadron would be on them soon enough.

The first squadron of X-Wings had already done their first bombing run, but it looked as if the damage so far was minimal. The order had scrambled their fighters, leaving the squadron unable to make a second run. Another squad would likely be coming out of hyperspace in the the atmosphere soon, but he was sure the First Order was ready for that now, they’d be waiting to engage.

He planted the bomb against the door panel. Hurrying back with Chewie and ducking behind a snow covered rock. If the fighters were going to have any impact, they needed the shields to come down. His stomach clenched anxiously as he thought about Ben. Was he okay?

Should he have trusted him? He felt Leia’s disapproval and horror at what he did weighing on him. He’d spent their entire marriage deferring to her, letting her make the decisions. She never trusted him to make the right choices. Hell, he didn’t really trust himself to make the right choices. And the choice he’d made here, well, he either had made the best or worst choice of his kriffing life. Which one remained to be seen.

Chewie hit the detonator and he tensed as bits of rock and metal rained around them. As the debris settled, he stood and looked at the gaping hole leading into the oscillator. “Let’s move…” he started, when the sound of ships tearing across the atmosphere caught his attention. Taking in the squadrons of X-Wings pouring in, he grinned, looking at Chewie, “Ben did it, he really did it. The shields are down.”

A contented whine and a nudge towards the door was the only response, he nodded, “Yeah, yeah, I know, they’re going to be coming. Let’s go do some damage.”

Scrambling up the hill, he hurried inside, blaster in hand, his friend right behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Kylo, I'm just pulling at him from all sides. Snoke has and still does offer him lots of temptation, and Snoke is smart enough to know right now what the greatest temptation for him is. 
> 
> Snoke is unaware of either Luke's return (as is Kylo, Luke is very good at masking his force signature, as Rey found out in an earlier chapter) or Rey's presence on Starkiller. He's too far away to be able to sense who's on the planet well, unless they'd get much closer to his projection room.
> 
> Yes, Luke thinks he knows who Rey is. And yes, he might just have a connection to why she was left, though what he's hinting is a completely twisted version of the truth.
> 
> Things are going to continue to ratchet up, but I'm pretty sure Kylo and Rey are going to reunite next chapter. Finally.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey’s brow furrowed as she looked sharply at Finn, then stepped forward and grabbed Ren’s wrist above his spitting saber, her voice was gentle and firm, “He saved me. Let him go.”
> 
> Ren’s body stiffened at her touch. The blank stare of the mask stayed on him for a long minute before Ren’s head turned, dipping down to look at the girl next to him.
> 
> The red light vanished, the pressure holding him against the wall released and he dropped to the ground in a heap, the air leaving his lungs. He wheezed, looking over to see Ren’s hands fumble along the release mechanism to his helmet, pulling it off and dropping it to the ground where it rolled before coming to rest in the snow.
> 
> “Rey…” his voice, no longer masked, was tinged with reverence and disbelief.
> 
> The girl walked forward, dropping something she had been holding and wrapping her hands around his neck. Staring up at him, a smile spread across her face. They just stood there, staring into each other’s eyes. And then something close to growl leapt from Ren’s throat, kissing her with a nearly angry intensity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheee.... story is flowing right now. Might have another update tomorrow too. Hope it's not coming too fast for you guys.

They parted ways with Luke within sight of the oscillator, Finn leading the way towards the junction station he knew was nearby. With distance between her and Luke, she began to feel as if she could breath again. The man seemed able to suck all the air in from around him with his unstable intensity.

Finn seemed broodingly quiet as he walked, their boots crunching through the snow. She held her hand up as the walked catching the crystals falling from the sky and watching them vanish as they melted against the warmth of her skin. Perhaps in another time and place, she might find the white power novel, maybe even fun, but here and now it was just another obstacle making things more difficult.

“Can I ask you something?” Finn’s voice startled her and she looked up at his back.

“Uh, yeah, sure?”

“Are you really just doing this for _him_?”

Her brow furrowed, not sure what he meant, “Doing what? For who?”

“ _This_ . Helping destroy this thing. And _him_. Ren,” there was a gruff edge to his voice.

“Kylo? What…” her voice trailed off as she realized as far as Finn knew, Kylo was still on the Resistance base that was this weapon’s next target. She drew in an angry breath, did he really think so little of her as to think that she would have no problems with a weapon like this?

With his back to her, Finn never saw her mouth hanging slightly agape or how she pulled herself upright as she took offense. Instead he continued, “I’ve see what that guy does, Rey. He slaughters people, he tortures people… he ransacks people’s minds without any hesitation. I’ve had to guard outside the interrogation rooms, I’ve heard their screams. The guy is a monster.”

She closed her eyes, wanting to tell Finn he was wrong, that he just didn’t know Kylo the way she did. But she couldn’t. Because she’d seen the monster, she’d endured the monstrous part of Kylo. He operated with a vindictive, righteous fury, raining down death to those he deemed against him.

But there was more to him than that. Someone loyal and protective, someone with surprising gentleness. Someone who was desperate for love.

Someone who kept his word, who came back for her, and she was certain he always would.

How could she explain that to Finn? How could she explain that to anyone?

“He… it’s…” she shook her head, “I think I love him. And he loves me. There’s… another person buried under all the layers he hides himself with.”

Ahead of her Finn stopped, his head down. Slowly he turned to look at her, “What if Luke’s right? What if he did manipulate your mind? I mean, you just suddenly think you’re in love with the guy that basically held you hostage?”

She raised her eyebrows and folded her arms, “A lot happened on Jakku. If he manipulated me, it wasn’t through mind control.”

Finn just shook his head, turning and starting to walk again. She followed, voice quiet, “He’s here.”

“Huh?” the man looked over his shoulder, confused.

“Kylo. He’s here, I felt him.”

The look Finn gave her was shock borderlining on fear, “Kylo Ren is here? On this base?”

She didn’t understand his reaction. Surprise would make sense, but his skin had gone ashen, as if all the blood was draining from his face, his eyes wide. “Yeah,” she said, shaking her head, “why are you so upset?”

“I’m not…” he turned and started to walk again, “I’m not upset. I just…” He shook his head, changing the subject, “Why are you doing this then? Why help?”

Her annoyance rose again, “What do you mean, why help?”

“Ren’s not there anymore, why help the Resistance? I’m under the impression you don’t like them much.”

“I give a flying kriff about the Resistance. And I don’t have a good impression about the First Order either. I don’t care about their fight, I don’t want any part of it.” She huffed, “Which doesn’t mean I think a weapon that can obliterate billions from light years away is not an abomination that needs to destroyed. This is too much power for anyone to be allowed to have.”

Finn’s head dipped down and he was quiet as they approached the junction station, “I’m sorry.”

“For?” she asked, brushing past the man and heading to the access door.

“I… I don’t know, for thinking you didn’t…” she turned to look at him and found his face open, if a little sad. “I was raised to be a stormtrooper. The First Order is all I ever knew and I betrayed it for exactly the same reason you're helping destroy it. From the moment I found what this place was… I knew...”

She gave him a small smile and nodded as she opened the access door, “Let’s make the sacrifice worth it.”

As she slipped inside the junction station, she caught him starting to smile.

 

* * *

 

He debriefed Phasma as vaguely and as quickly as possible.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t send a trooper detail with you, sir?” she asked. Her face was hidden and her voice gave away none of her emotion, but he could feel the uneasiness uncoiling off of her in waves. “Perhaps we should discuss this with General Hux fir--”

“The Supreme Leader will have already spoken to Hux,” he answered, pulling on his gloves, mask tucked under his arm. He’d detoured to his quarters long enough to change quickly back into his normal ensemble and grab his other mask, a perfect replica of the one he’d left on Jakku. Free from the filthy, tattered clothes he’d been wearing for over a week, he felt more like himself. He paused, it would look suspicious if he just told her to stay the kriff away from the oscillator and let him handle everything, “If you don’t hear from me in a half hour, send in the detail.” His mask sealed into place and his voice rumbled with the modulator’s distortion. “Supreme Leader was specific he wanted me to handle this alone.”

Phasma nodded as he strode off towards the speeder bay. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts as he sped through the icy winds, stopping not far but not at the oscillator. He’d go the rest of the way on foot. Above him the sky was dotted with fire and smoke and explosions as the TIE fighters engaged the Resistance.

As he neared the oscillator, he caught sight of movement near a conventional junction station. Veering to the left, he silently moved closer to investigate, catching sight of stormtrooper plastoid armor. And then he saw him, standing outside the open access panel.

FN-2187.

One of the last things he saw before he crumpled into unconsciousness at the mercy of the Resistance was the traitorous scum who had stabbed him in the back with the needle. He would never forget, nor forgive.

His vision went red with rage as he strode forward, all other thoughts washed away with his rage, his saber crackling to life in his hand. A word flew from his lips, vibrating viciously through the vocoder of his mask, “TRAITOR!” The traitor’s head shot up, eyes wide, and he raised his hand up and used the force to slam him into the wall of the junction station, holding him there as he approached slowly, ever so slowly.

He wanted him to be aware of his death coming.

 

* * *

 

“TRAITOR!”

His head flew up, his eyes widening as he had just enough time to register the monster approaching him, lightsaber crackling in his hand, before he flew backwards, pinned against the wall of the junction station. An invisible hand crushed his neck and his hands grabbed at the nothing that was on his throat.

Kylo Ren bore down on him, a black predator standing out against the snow.

Gods, this was how he was going to die, wasn’t it?

Ren raised his saber, his words sputtering out of his mask,”You… you…” The red light of the saber blinding him. This was going to be the last thing he saw, that sputtering red as it came to end him.

“KYLO!”

He barely registered the voice, but Ren did, saber dipping down again. The hold against his throat loosened ever so slightly, enough that he was able to drag in air roughly. Blinking away the red spots in his vision, he saw Rey standing frozen in the access door staring at Ren, whose posture had stiffened his head turned towards her.

Through the warble of the mask, the whisper he spoke was almost too distorted to make out, “Rey?”

She swallowed, taking a step forward and glancing at Finn, “Let him go, Kylo. He’s with me.”

Ever so slowly the mask turned to look at him, resting on him before turning back to look at Rey.

“ _Kylo_. Let him go,” she ordered, walking towards the monster without any fear at all.

“He’s the reason the Resistance was able to captured me,” the low rumble of Ren’s voice echoed in his ears. “The traitor drugged me, stabbed me in the back and left me to _her_ mercy.” Ren turned towards him again, his saber lifting ever so slightly.

Rey’s brow furrowed as she looked sharply at Finn, then stepped forward and grabbed Ren’s wrist above his spitting saber, her voice was gentle and firm, “He saved me. Let him go.”

Ren’s body stiffened at her touch. The blank stare of the mask stayed on him for a long minute before Ren’s head turned, dipping down to look at the girl next to him.

The red light vanished, the pressure holding him against the wall released and he dropped to the ground in a heap, the air leaving his lungs. He wheezed, looking over to see Ren’s hands fumble along the release mechanism to his helmet, pulling it off and dropping it to the ground where it rolled before coming to rest in the snow.

“Rey…” his voice, no longer masked, was tinged with reverence and disbelief.

The girl walked forward, dropping something she had been holding and wrapping her hands around his neck. Staring up at him, a smile spread across her face. They just stood there, staring into each other’s eyes. And then something close to growl leapt from Ren’s throat, kissing her with a nearly angry intensity.

He pushed himself up, glancing to either side, feeling like this was something he probably shouldn’t be staring at. Ren lifted the girl off the ground, his lips moving from hers and peppering kisses across her chin and neck.

“I found you, kitten. I found you again,” Ren murmured as he pulled his lips from her neck and crashed them into her lips once more.

_Kitten?_ He shook his head, getting slowly to his feet. The girl’s legs were wrapped around Ren’s waist and she pulled back, leaning her forehead against Ren’s, the two of them gasping for breath.

“You’re okay?” Ren’s voice was quiet, he could barely hear it.

Rey nodded, “I… yeah, and you? You’re okay?”

Ren just nodded, “I’m fine… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

She shook her head, “For what?”

“For not being there to protect you,” he looked down, “I…” a frown spread across his face, and his eyes darted back up to hers. “Where did you get that?” he asked sharply, his hand tugging at the poncho.

“Oh!” she unwrapped her legs from Ren’s waist and he set her on the ground. The man’s eyes were widening with a dawning horror. “Skywalker is here,” she said, quietly.

“Here? Now?” Ren’s voice shook. He blinked with the stunned realization that the man’s bottom lip was trembling ever so slightly.

Kylo Ren was terrified.

Which was kind of terrifying in itself.

“He brought us here. He’s in the oscillator now,” she glanced towards the part she had dropped, “I pulled the chroniton fuse, that should have opened the door for him.”

“You’re working with _him_?” Ren’s voice dropped dangerously low.

“We didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter,” he cut in, Ren’s eyes turned sharply to look at him, glaring with cold intensity. “Trust me, we both are pretty happy that we got some distance between him and us.”

“You weren’t kidding about him being a lunatic,” Rey added. “But he’s trying to help take out the oscillator, because that should cause this place to blow.” Ren’s eyes narrowed, and Rey pulled back, frowning, “This place needs to be destroyed, you have to know that?”

There was a long pause, and when he spoke his voice was clipped and tense, “Yes. I came here with Han. I got the shields down… he and Chewie were heading into the oscillator to plant explosives.”

Rey reached a hand up and brushed his hair out of his face, a soft smile, “Good.”

Ren caught her hand and kissed her wrist, “I’m never going to let anyone come between us ever again, kitten, I promise. I’m going to protect you.”

She smiled, “I’m not a damsel in distress, how about we protect each other?” Ren grinned.

He cleared his throat, the two of them glanced at him, “I hate to interrupt, but I think we might want to figure out what we do next?”

Ren glanced at Rey, then at him, “We need to find Han, and hopefully stay the kriff away from Skywalker.” He paused, nodding towards the oscillator, before bending down and picking up his helmet, “Let’s go, we’ll figure out something that hopefully resembles a plan before we get there.”

Rey stepped up to him as Ren brushed past, pausing to glance back at him and the girl standing cross armed in front of him. Her hazel eyes burned as they glared into his, and he swallowed nervously. “Did you really hand him over to the Resistance?”

He glanced away, voice nervous, “Yes…”

Ren raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms as he watched the interaction, keeping his distance.

“And you made sure not to tell me that, didn’t you?” her voice sharpened. Gods, she could make those hazel eyes cut you, couldn’t she?

“Yes.”

His head rocked back as her hand crashed into his cheek. He drew in a sharp breath, staring at her as she spun away, “Withholding the truth is no better than lying,” she hissed.

The corner’s of Ren’s mouth had crooked into a smile. He turned, leading down the path, Rey following.

Taking a breath, hand rubbing his cheek, he followed behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got these two together again. Wish they had some time to be alone, but the shit's kinda hitting the fan right now and the sun is literally fading fast.
> 
> Poor Finn is the third wheel now.
> 
> I think the next chapter will be done tomorrow. XOXOXO for the comments.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stepping out onto the catwalk, he approached his son, relieved when Ben’s hands rose up and pulled the mask away and dropped it to the metal grating. His son stared at him, eyes strangely pensive, body tense. He frowned, “You okay?”
> 
> Ben’s eyes flicked at his face and then away, as if he was afraid to look at him. He stepped up to him, “Ben?”
> 
> “I found Rey,” Ben muttered, not looking up.
> 
> “Good. That’s good,” he said, earnestly.
> 
> “Skywalker’s here too,” this time Ben’s voice was almost a unintelligible mumble. His son’s dark eyes flashed up to meet his, pain and terror and turmoil clear in them.
> 
> “I heard,” he added, voice gruff. “We’ll deal with him if we have to.”
> 
> “No… you don’t… we can’t…” a shiver went through Ben’s body. He stepped closer, reaching out and resting his hand over the one wrapped around the saber hilt. His son looked up at him, eyes wet, “I’m being torn apart. I can’t…” Ben’s eyes closed.
> 
> “It’s… you’ll be okay, I’ll help you,” he wasn’t really sure what to say, what he could do to comfort him. He glanced up, from where they stood over the narrow bridge over the abyss, he could get a clear view of the fading sunlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the first section of this chapter was originally part of the previous one, but then I realized that if I reunited them only to separate them (however briefly) at the end of the chapter people would come after me with pitchforks.
> 
> And yous guys needed to save your energy....

If he wasn’t careful he was going to lose control. His emotions were spinning in a violent storm that had started with the raw rage that had surged at the sight of the traitor, worked itself into a frenzy of exaltation and passion at finding Rey again, and then was set off careening through his mind and nerves with the horror and terror at the revelation of Skywalker being _here_.

His anger at the traitor hadn’t dissipated. The only reason the man was still standing was because Rey had intervened. For her sake, and only her sake, he’d stood down. His mirth and satisfaction when she’d slapped the bastard, though, was hard to quantify.

Skywalker was here. Skywalker was _here_ . His kriffing uncle was _here_. The words chanted in his head and threatened to break him. Gods knew how badly he had wanted to finally end the man who’d caused so much misery to him and to so many others. But facing him alone? The thought terrified him. He wasn’t strong enough.

When it came to his uncle he’d never been strong enough.

They ducked for cover as a X-Wing spun out of control and smashed into the ground not far from them. Rubble and debris rained down. He tucked himself over Rey, shielding her from it. He looked down at her after the air cleared, realizing with rising panic that she was in even more danger than he was.

Skywalker would kill him, but he’d take Rey. If she wouldn’t join him willingly he’d attempt to wipe her mind, create a blank slate for him to work with. If she survived the process, that is. She’d be the first of many who Skywalker would press into his service as he rebuilt.

He shivered, he couldn’t let that happen. Not to Rey, not to his kitten. Even Snoke would be a better fate than that.

Snoke’s orders hung over him like a laser ax ready to fall. If he did as he had been asked, he would still have the power of the First Order behind him. Power enough to bring Skywalker to his knees and let him strike the final killing blow.

The sounds of an explosion echoed from the open access door. Someone was doing some damage. He glanced up at the fading sun, there wasn’t much time left now.

“Kylo?”

He looked down to find his kitten looking up at him. The traitor hung back slightly, leaning up against the wall of the oscillator. He reached up and pulled his mask off, glancing at her apprehensively.

Gods knew he didn’t want to let her out of his sight but… he glanced up to the rising path, “If you follow along that you’ll come to a ladder that leads to the upper access. I’ll go in here if you guys go in up top, we can cover more ground looking for them and meet in the middle.”

Rey frowned, her eyes searching his, “I don’t--”

Another explosion echoed from inside the oscillator, making the ground under their feet tremble.

“Rey, please,” he leaned down, resting his forehead against hers, “I’m not going to lose you again, I promise. I promise kitten.”

She brought her hands up, running her fingers through his hair, and nodded. She didn’t look happy about it, but she would do it. Leaning down he kissed her, slowly, gently, before pulling away.

“Be careful,” she said, stepping back.

He nodded, swallowing at a lump in his throat that wouldn’t go away, “I will be.” Taking a step back, he looked into her eyes one last time before turning to walk into the oscillator, putting his mask back on as he went.

 

* * *

 

The path circled along the outer wall of the oscillator, climbing fairly steeply. She led the way up, setting a fast pace, Finn scrambling to keep up behind her.

“So…” Finn huffed behind her.

“What?” her voice was a little rough, a little annoyed.

“ _Kitten_?”

She blinked, _no, no no, no,_ she was _not_ about discuss that, “ **No**.”

“Just… I mean, he calls you _kitten_?”

The amusement in Finn’s voice nearly cause her to stop and turn around to face him, instead she gritted her teeth as she continued to climb up the path, “It’s none of your business.”

Behind her Finn was laughing, she glowered over her shoulder, “I’m going to slap you again if you don’t shut up.”

He raised his hands, “Sorry… sorry… I just--”

“Hold it!” They froze as a pair of stormtroopers darted out from behind a rock outcropping, “Hands up.” Slowly they both lifted their hands. One of them looked at her, and then scanned up and down Finn before a his voice spat through the mouthpiece of his helmet, “Traitor!”

She could hear Finn growl under his breath. One of the troopers approached, blaster aimed at them.

Finn’s spoke, so quiet she almost couldn’t hear it, “Be ready to take cover.” She blinked, casting a look his way as the trooper got closer…

In a blur, Finn ducked, leading with his shoulder as he smashed in the trooper’s stomach. She ducked dove across the trail to take cover behind a rock as blaster fire filled the air. The other trooper rushed forward, firing, as Finn smashed the trooper he was wrestling with into the wall, grabbing the blaster from his hands and firing point blank into the man’s chest. He spun, raising the blaster to fire at the second trooper. Before he could, something hit the trooper from the side, sending him flying.

She and Finn both looked at one another in surprise, then a familiar growl greeted them. “Chewie?” she called, darting out as the wookie came around the curve of the trail.

 

* * *

 

He followed behind Rey as she ran up to the wookie, who trilled at her, as she spoke, “Is Han with you?”

Turning, he shouldered the blaster he’d wrestled from the first trooper and walked to the second, grabbing the blaster from the fallen man’s hands before walking back over to Rey, who clearly understood the wookie’s growls and trills.

“What did he say?” he asked, as he walked over, holding out one of the blasters.

She glanced at it, then at him, before reaching out and taking it, “Han’s still inside, he was setting charges on the lower levels while Chewie set the higher ones. He said he heard the troopers outside as he set his last charge, so he came out to deal with them.”

They climbed a bit higher, circling around the back of the oscillator until they came to four dead stormtroopers and a ladder that lead up along the side of the structure, at the top he could make out a gaping hole where the access door would have been.

“More of them are going to come,” he said, nervously, glancing around. “Once this squad doesn’t report back, they’ll come in force.

Chewie growled, Rey looked at him and nodded, “Okay.”

Finn looked at her, “What?”

“He’s going to stay here and guard for any more incoming troops. We’re going in to look for Han and Kylo.” She shouldered her blaster and walked to the ladder, but stopped as Chewie trilled, holding something up and tossing it to her. She gave a small smile and nod before starting to climb.

“What did he give you?” he asked, following behind her up the ladder.

“Detonator. For the charges he and Han were setting.”

“Oh,” he said, huffing as he tried to keep up with her.

 

* * *

 

Another explosion rocked the oscillator. He wasn’t sure who was doing it, though he had to assume if they were doing damage they were on his side. There was something, a feeling he couldn’t quite explain, that kept him in the shadows and away from whoever the other saboteur was. Setting the last charge, he glanced up the dizzying levels to the top, where he’d told Chewie he’d meet him. Meet him and then set off the blasts.

And hope it was enough. Gods knew she would still be there if he failed, determined to be the very last to leave. Just like Hoth, when he practically had to drag her out of the control room as the base collapsed. There was still light right now, and while there was still light there was still hope.

Footsteps echoing across metal caught his attention, and he peered out from behind a column to see a black clad figure walking across the catwalk that spanned the chasm in the center of the oscillator. It took him a moment, just a moment, to realize who he was looking at under that costume.

It sent a wave of anxiety through him, but he shook his head. The shields were down, and if one was going to walk through the rancor den, maybe they had to make themself look like a rancor again. Stepping out into the open, he called out to him, “Ben!” He winced to himself after he called it, wondering if he should have called him Kylo instead.

He’d always be Ben to him, no matter what he called himself.

The figure froze, turning around, his robe flaring around his thighs as he spun. His saber hilt was in his hand, the mask hiding his face leaving it impossible to get a sense of his emotions.

Kriff, why did he have to wear that thing?

Stepping out onto the catwalk, he approached his son, relieved when Ben’s hands rose up and pulled the mask away and dropped it to the metal grating. His son stared at him, eyes strangely pensive, body tense. He frowned, “You okay?”

Ben’s eyes flicked at his face and then away, as if he was afraid to look at him. He stepped up to him, “Ben?”

“I found Rey,” Ben muttered, not looking up.

“Good. That’s good,” he said, earnestly.

“Skywalker’s here too,” this time Ben’s voice was almost a unintelligible mumble. His son’s dark eyes flashed up to meet his, pain and terror and turmoil clear in them.

“I heard,” he added, voice gruff. “We’ll deal with him if we have to.”

“No… you don’t… we can’t…” a shiver went through Ben’s body. He stepped closer, reaching out and resting his hand over the one wrapped around the saber hilt. His son looked up at him, eyes wet, “I’m being torn apart. I can’t…” Ben’s eyes closed.

“It’s… you’ll be okay, I’ll help you,” he wasn’t really sure what to say, what he could do to comfort him. He glanced up, from where they stood over the narrow bridge over the abyss, he could get a clear view of the fading sunlight. The beams shone weakly across his and Ben’s faces.

Time was short.

Suddenly, Ben’s free hand grabbed his shoulder, pulling him forward. He gasped in surprise…

And found himself slamming into his son’s chest, the man’s arms wrapped tightly around him in an embrace. “Dad…” Ben’s voice shook, a barely contained sob rattling in his chest. He wrapped his arms around the giant his son had become, wondering how the little boy he’d once carried in his arms could have ever grown so much.

“Hey… okay, it’s okay,” he felt like an idiot, fumbling for his words, as he pulled back, putting a hand on his son’s cheek, and smiling, getting a small smile in return. He flicked his eyes up to the fading sun, “We got to go, blow this place and make our escape, we can talk more later.”

Ben nodded, “Yeah, sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry,” he shook his head, “You’ve got noth--”

“ **_BEN!_ ** ”

The word echoed across the oscillator, seemed to shake the entire structure with the rage and vicious hatred behind them. Ben’s eyes went wide, his breath catching. He spun to see the figure standing at the mouth of the catwalk, hair wild and eyes crazed. In the fading sunlight the sickly green light from his lightsaber illuminated the snarl on his face.

Kriff. This didn’t look good.

Luke pointed his saber towards Ben, snarling as he stepped onto the metal grate of the catwalk, “The Force demands retribution, _boy._ For every sin you wrought, it cries for your blood.”

Yeah, it really didn’t look good.

“Dad, don’t!”

His son’s words were no more than a panicked hiss. He ignored them as he stepped forward towards the man he once knew as a friend. The man who now approached them like a predator, stalking slowly forward, blue eyes locked onto Ben. He spread his arms, swallowing nervously before he started to talk.

Talking was what he was good at.

He would talk their way out of this.

 

* * *

 

“ **_BEN!_ ** ”

The word resonated with viciousness around them. They looked at each other for a split second, eyes wide, before she and Finn hurried to the railing looking down over the interior of the oscillator. They froze at the scene unfolding below them.

On the center of a narrow bridge of metal spanning an abyss that seemed to go down for an eternity, stood Kylo and Han. At the mouth of the bridge, walking menacingly towards them, the light from his blade reflecting off the metal grating of the bridge, was Skywalker.

“The Force demands retribution, _boy._ For every sin you wrought, it cries for your blood.” Luke’s voice rang with malice, his saber pointed squarely at Kylo as he approached the two. She felt panic rise in her chest, not sure of what to do, of what she could do. It would take them too long to get down to where

Han stepped forward, his arms spread, the cavernous echo carrying their voice up to them as if they were down standing next to them, “Hey, Luke. Been awhile.”

It was hard to tell from as far as they wore, but it seemed like Luke’s face softened ever so slightly, as he slowed. “Leave. This isn’t your fight.”

“You screaming about the force calling for my son’s blood kind of makes it my fight,” Han’s voice trembled slightly, trying to keep calm, keep his own anger out of his voice.

Luke’s head shook, “Your son is dead. What’s left is a shell for darkness.”

“No. Luke, listen, please? There’s no time for this. Not now, the sun’s nearly gone,” Han stepped forward, getting closer to Skywalker. She held her breath, hands gripping the railing tight enough for her knuckles to turn white. “Leia’s on D’Qar. You know how she is, there’s no way she’ll leave.” Luke lowered his saber but didn’t disengage it as Han moved forward till he stood in front of the man. “We need to blow this place and get out of here while we can.”

For a long time Luke just seemed to stare into Han’s face, then cast his eyes down for just a moment before looking up again “He’s gotten to you.”

Han shook his head, “Luke, no… listen...”

“He’s poisoned you, Han, he’s twisted your mind with lies.”

“Dad…” Kylo was starting to move forward, eyes wide. His hand slipped down to grip his saber. “Dad get away from him!”

“Luke...” Han took a step back, “Come on, we’re friends. We’ve been friends for 30 years. Just calm down, okay?”

Luke’s eyes flashed up to meet Kylo’s, and then in a blur lunged forward. Kylo saw him move and charged forward, but there was still too much distance and not enough time. Luke’s hand grabbed Han’s shoulder as he plunged his saber forward, the green blade burst from his back.

She screamed. From below them Kylo’s voice bellowed in horror, “NO!”

 

* * *

 

“NO!” he screamed as he saw his father impaled on Skywalker’s blade. Around him the world seemed to tremble, but he couldn’t tell if it was real or just in his head.

Skywalker leaned forward, whispering to Han’s ear softly, “I’m sorry,” before disengaging his saber and letting the man stumble backwards. He lurched forward, catching his father as he fell, dropping to his knees with the man in his arms. Han looked up at him, his hand reaching up to caress his face before dropping, his last breath leaving him.

He felt him go. His force signature blinking out. A split second later there was a flash of intense grief merging with his own. Luke’s sharp intake of breath made him realize the man felt it too.

Felt his sister’s pain as she realized Han was gone.

“What have you done?!” he looked up at his uncle, who was staring down with a startled, shocked expression. As if the man couldn’t quite come to grips with his own actions. “ **_WHAT HAVE YOU DONE_ **!?!”

Luke looked up from Han’s limp body, eyes wet, but as their gazes locked his uncle’s eyes hardened. There was a hum as the green blade jumped once more from his saber hilt as he shook his head, “You did this, boy. _You_ did this.”

He stared up at Skywalker, fighting his own guilt at not being able to stop it. Fighting the rising panic as he realized he was hearing the start of the lie his uncle would tell about what happened. That _he_ was the one who’d killed his own father.

And they’d all believe him.

“This ends here, _boy_. The debt you owe has come due.” He stared up, guilt and grief overwhelming him as his uncle slowly . Yes, let it end. Let the nightmare end.

The clatter of foot falls on metal stairs rattled him out of the quagmire of his mind long enough to register Rey running down the winding metal staircase that lead from the upper levels to the ground floor. He sucked in a breath, she… he… no, he couldn’t, he couldn’t give up when his kitten still needed him. Snarling, he jumped to his feet, his heart leaping into his throat as his father’s body slid from the walkway and fell into the depths below. His hand wrapped around his saber hilt as he drew it and thumbed it to life.

His uncle’s mouth drew into a snarl. He lifted his saber, pointing the spitting red blade at Skywalker.

“You’re right about one thing,” he growled, “this ends here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
> 
> *dives into a reinforced bunker*  
> *peers out over a sea of shattered hearts*
> 
> So... um, I'll probably put my rambling notes at the start of next chapter, cause we all need a little time. But I need to call out IAin'tNoSidekick for absolutely predicting EXACTLY where this was going a few chapters ago. I couldn't respond to the comment at the time because I didn't want to risk giving any sense of a wink and nod that she was absolutely dead on right.
> 
> *ducks back behind the safety of steel reinforced doors* Um... till next time...


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Below her the sound of clashing lightsabers and flashes of red and green light urged to run faster.
> 
> On some level she was aware of the dim rays of the sun fading as the star took its final gasps as the last of its life drained away, and that time was very short. But that part of her mind was distant, a haze of fear and anger and determination between that fact and her.
> 
> Get to Kylo. That was the only thing that mattered right now.
> 
> The two men fought on the narrow bridge. The constraints of the bridge left them no room to maneuver beyond forward and back, each gaining ground during their offensives and losing it as the defended brutal blows from the other, sabers sparking against one another. As she finally reached the ground she saw Kylo lunge forward with a swiping blow. Luke leapt in the air with an agility that she would have never guessed the man was capable of, dodging the red saber while flipping over behind Kylo. Her heart leapt as Kylo spun, just barely turning in time to block his uncle’s attempt to slash the green saber through his back. He staggered backwards, and through her haze her mind registered that Luke was no longer between Kylo and the mouth of the bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, well, hopefully no one has abandoned me after that last chapter.
> 
> Anyway, I do want to add a few notes regarding last chapter and Han's death, since I was busy taking cover and didn't put notes in at the end of that chapter.
> 
> So, I don't create outlines when I write, but I have major scenes in my head that I know I'm trying to get to. The meeting with Han on the Falcon, Han's betrayal Rey and Kylo getting captured and separated on Takadona, Rey being found by Luke, Han breaking Kylo out from the Resistance, ect.
> 
> The retelling of the bridge scene, where Kylo does not kill Han and Luke does was one of those. It's been an established scene in my head for quite a while. 
> 
> You can kind of look at the second and third act of this story as Han's redemption arc. We established a history of Han's failures as a father being twofold-- one, he always gave in to Leia, letting her make the decisions about Ben even if he didn't like them, and two, he failed to keep his son from falling into the hands of evil (Luke). So his redemption arc in this story is two fold, one, he stood up to Leia and made the choice to trust Ben, and two, he stood between his son and the evil that he'd failed to protect him from as a child.
> 
> He died trying to protect his son and remedy his past failures. And he died knowing his son loved him.
> 
> XOXOXO to all of you who've stuck with me.

The metal of the staircase vibrated with her footfalls.

She had no plan, no idea what she was going to do once she reached the bottom. Her mind was barely able to maintain a coherent thought. All she knew was she needed to get to Kylo, help Kylo, before it was too late.

Below her the sound of clashing lightsabers and flashes of red and green light urged to run faster.

On some level she was aware of the dim rays of the sun fading as the star took its final gasps as the last of its life drained away, and that time was very short. But that part of her mind was distant, a haze of fear and anger and determination between that fact and her.

Get to Kylo. That was the only thing that mattered right now.

The two men fought on the narrow bridge. The constraints of the bridge left them no room to maneuver beyond forward and back, each gaining ground during their offensives and losing it as the defended brutal blows from the other, sabers sparking against one another. As she finally reached the ground she saw Kylo lunge forward with a swiping blow. Luke leapt in the air with an agility that she would have never guessed the man was capable of, dodging the red saber while flipping over behind Kylo. Her heart leapt as Kylo spun, just barely turning in time to block his uncle’s attempt to slash the green saber through his back. He staggered backwards, and through her haze her mind registered that Luke was no longer between Kylo and the mouth of the bridge.

“KYLO!” she screamed, unable to help herself. It was a bad idea, his eyes flashed over to her, wide and fearful, and then stumbled back as Luke jabbed forward, stabbing him in the shoulder. With a snarl he slammed his own saber against Luke’s locking their blades and shoving him back before retreating several steps, breathing hard. For a moment she saw Luke’s blue eyes flash as they locked onto her, before turning his attention back to Kylo, rushing forward to rain down blows with speed that seemed inhuman, leaving Kylo staggering back under the force of them as he barely got his saber up in time to block.

Without really knowing what she was doing she raised her hand, eyes focused on Luke, as she-- shoved-- for lack of a better term. Somehow operating on pure instinct as she focused a force blast on Luke and Luke alone. She caught him mostly by surprise, though he still deflected most of it. Still, a wave of satisfaction hit her as she saw him stumble back and teeter sideways, nearly going over the side.

Kylo flicked his eyes towards her, backing towards the mouth of the bridge. Luke’s eyes flashed to her, a snarl on his face, his own hand raising towards her. She tensed for an attack she had no idea how to defend against, not sure what to do.

Above them the last feeble rays of light vanished as the sun faded into nothing.

A red flash of light lit the air and she blinked in confusion as Luke stumbled to a knee, his hand going to the blaster wound on his side. She turned her head, looking up to see Finn a third of the way up the staircase, blaster in hand, a terrified grin on his face.

She jumped as a hand grabbed her arm, turning to find Kylo next to her, face pale and eyes wild, looking between her and the man stumbling to his feet on the bridge. 

“REY!” They both looked up at Finn, who was already turning to start his way down the stairs, “DETONATOR.”

Her eyes widened as she fumbled the detonator out of her belt pouch, grabbing Kylo’s arm and pulling him with her away from Luke, who was on his feet now, staggering towards them. She triggered the blasts, dropping to the ground and pulling down with her as the the explosions rocked the structure, leaving a vertical scar up the structure as the support columns collapsed. 

There was a whine of metal, and through the dust and smoke she saw the staircase Finn was still rushing down swaying dangerously. As he neared the bottom, there was the sound of shearing metal and he leapt off of it, rolling as the stairs collapsed into a heap of scrap.

She rushed over, but Kylo got there first, hesitating a split second before offering the man a hand. Finn hesitated for a split second of his own before taking the offered hand and letting Kylo help him to his feet. 

A sickly green light suddenly cut through the darkness, reflecting off the smoke so it was hard to tell where exactly it was coming from. Luke’s voice, an enraged growl, echoed through the structure, “ _ BOY!  _ We’re not done yet,  _ boy _ !”

Kylo gritted his teeth together, his hand gripping his saber hilt tightly. She put her hand over his, “We need to go.” He glanced at her then back into the smoke, she shook her head, “We need to go  _ now _ .”

He looked at her numbly for a second before nodding, turning and leading them through the haze, “The lower entrance was this way.” Looking back at both of them, his face determined, “Keep your guard up, we’ll watch each other’s backs.”

\--------------

His fighter rocked hard as the fighter next to him exploded. He rolled his X-Wing and then dropped in altitude, getting away from the debris and the pair of TIE’s that were on his tail.

Things were not going kriffing well.

“We just lost r-1!,” Jess’ voice came across the com, and he swore under his breath. The light was gone, the sun was gone, there was no time left. 

“What are we going to do, this isn’t working?” she asked. 

He wasn’t sure what to say. They were getting decimated by the First Order TIEs, and their attacks on the oscillator had barely scratched the surface. 

“Black Leader?” Ziff spoke, “There’s a brand new hole in that oscillator. Looks like our friends got in!”

Looking down he saw it, a smoking hole… large enough to get an X-Wing through. Barely, but a small opening was an opening, and it wasn’t like they had a lot of openings or a lot of time. “Red Four, Red Six, cover us! Everyone else, hit the oscillator hard, give it everything you got.”

He dived down, following a trench that lead to the oscillator. They were under heavy fire, both from the ground guns and TIEs following behind them. His mind had a single focus now, get to that hole, get to the oscillator. 

Someone yelled they were hit, the sound of explosions, he called for more help, several more fighters joining him in the trench. As he reached the final stretch, he could distantly hear his own voice telling the others to pull up, that he was going to go in.

A pair of TIEs followed on his tail, he swerved through the air, speeding up and shooting through the fiery hole, banking hard to avoid slamming into a wall as he found himself inside the structure. Aiming at the support columns, he fired as he circled the inside of the structure, taking them out one by one before banking up hard and gunning the throttle as he tried to get out as more explosions began to rock the oscillator and the structure began to collapse around him.

He shot like a blaster bolt out of the fiery hole he entered from, gaining altitude as the entire oscillator rocked with explosions and then collapsed inward. A wave seemed to emanate from it as it collapsed, the ground around it crumbling into a sea of fire. The very planet beginning to destabilize.

Grinning, he called for the fighters to regroup. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but I figured it was good to end there cause we all know what's coming next right? A fight. In a snowy forest.
> 
> Love you all, thanks for reading and commenting and giving me support.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something slammed into his chest as at the same time he saw both Finn and Rey fly backwards out of his peripheral vision. He landed sprawled out on his back, wheezing as his hands scraped against the icy ground to push himself up. He looked over his shoulder in a panic to where Rey now lay unconscious at the base of a tree. Scrambling to his feet, he started to turn, her name rising in his throat, when the sound of a lightsaber igniting froze him in place, the bright green light bursting into being, reflecting off the snow.
> 
> “Still a pathetic little coward, aren’t you, _boy_?”
> 
> Luke stood in the path before him, wind whipping his wild hair and beard and his lightsaber reflecting off his eyes to make them seem to glow with sickly green menace. “Still the little scared weakling you were when my sister dumped you on my doorstep. Such potential and still utterly worthless.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snow fight time!

They emerged into the snowy night, the cold immediately settling into his bones. The wind whipped the snow against the wound on his shoulder, and he swore each flake set the damaged nerves of the cauterized wound on fire. Taking a deep breath, he accepted the pain, channeling it down to where the black monster within could grow stronger and give him the strength he needed.

“Chewie was up top,” Rey said, looking up the path leading upwards, biting his lower lip.

Chewie… gods… Chewie. How could he tell him? What if he didn’t believe him? What if Luke got to him first and he believed the lies?

“Kylo?” Rey’s hand touched his upper arm and he focused his eyes on her, taking a deep breath.

She seemed to be the only thing anchoring him right now within a sea of chaos. His eyes looked over her for a minute, watching the X-Wings converging on the damaged oscillator like carrion birds. He shook his head, “Chewie would have headed for the Falcon once the bombs were detonated, knowing…” he swallowed, trying to rid himself of a lump in his throat that refused to go away. “...knowing Han would meet him there.” He nodded towards the path ahead, leading them through the trees.

The ground shook suddenly around them as a fireball blasted from the oscillator behind them, the entire structure collapsing into the ground. He knew enough of the architecture of the weapon to know that they needed to get off the planet. That this would now start a chain reaction as the fuel cells ruptured, shattering the planet as the massive amounts of stored energy was released.

“The Falcon’s this way,” he said, ducking under the evergreen branches as he lead them at a rapid pace. “I don’t know how much time we have--”

Something slammed into his chest as at the same time he saw both Finn and Rey fly backwards out of his peripheral vision. He landed sprawled out on his back, wheezing as his hands scraped against the icy ground to push himself up. He looked over his shoulder in a panic to where Rey now lay unconscious at the base of a tree. Scrambling to his feet, he started to turn, her name rising in his throat, when the sound of a lightsaber igniting froze him in place, the bright green light bursting into being, reflecting off the snow.

“Still a pathetic little coward, aren’t you, _boy_?”

Luke stood in the path before him, wind whipping his wild hair and beard and his lightsaber reflecting off his eyes to make them seem to glow with sickly green menace. “Still the little scared weakling you were when my sister dumped you on my doorstep. Such potential and still utterly worthless.”

His teeth peeled back from his lips in a feral snarl, “Which of us is the coward, again? Which of us has been hiding the last six years, _uncle_?” He saw the force push coming this time, defecting it with a wave of his hand into the trees and igniting and spinning his saber up.

Moving forward slowly with the decisive steps of a predator stalking its prey, face contorted in rage and blue eyes flashing dangerously, Luke approached. “You can’t hide your fear from the force, boy. You never could beat me. If not for your fellow traitors showing up to save you, it would have been over after your failed rebellion with your head rolling at my feet.” His eyes gleamed a moment, “They have their own debt still to pay. Cira Beelan, Skye Laatl-- I haven't forgotten them. I want you to die knowing that they will be next to pay the force back in blood.”

He began to move, the two of them circling one another as the falling snow sizzled against their blades. For a split second he felt himself back at the temple, yellow lightsaber clashing against the green as he was driven back until he was pinned against the marble wall, his saber torn from his hand. Defenseless, waiting for the final blow to fall.

But it hadn’t, instead Luke had been sent flying backwards and he had been yanked back by the collar before the ceiling was brought down with a blast of the force, creating a wall of debris between them and Skywalker.

Skye and Cira, he owed them his life.

With uncanny speed, Luke moved forward with the first attack, their sabers sparking off one another in the night. A vicious swipe was aimed at his head and he ducked, the green blade instead passing through the trunk of one of the evergreens. For a moment the tree remained upright, as gravity itself was surprised to find the tree trunk unsupported, then it toppled, crashing into the trees around it. He spared a glance over his shoulder towards Rey, who still lay unconscious before moving forward with an attack of his own his uncle dodged, and another tree fell as his blade cut it instead of the man he was fighting.

“No need to worry about the girl,” a dark chuckle emerged from the menacing figure in front of him. “Your little whore won’t be able to mourn what she doesn’t remember.”

He lunged, a flash of rage powering him, driving his uncle back with the ferocity of his attack. For a brief moment he had Luke off balance before the man regained his composure, jumping back with an agile back flip to put space between them. Luke prowled to the side, and he followed, circling.

“It’s ironic, that it should be you who delivered her into my hands, after all these years.”

“After all these years?” he asked, tense, knowing Luke could attack at any time. Luke was trying to insinuate something, he wasn’t sure what. It didn’t matter he supposed, in the end it was just meant to be a distraction, a way to throw him off his guard.

Luke’s lips just curled into something that was not quite a smile and not quite a snarl, and in a blur the man was on him again, driving him backwards under the speed and strength of his blows. His blade was hooked, red locked against green as the sabers spat sparks that sizzled on the snow by his feet. His uncle shoved him back with strength that would not have believed the man was capable of, pinning him against a tree and driving his own blade back against him, the crossguard of his own blade burning into his arm.

Letting out snarling howl, he raised his foot and kicked, catching him hard in the side of his stomach, close enough to the blaster wound on his uncle’s side that the man let out a hiss of pain as he staggered back a step. It gave him just enough room to spin away, Luke’s saber slicing through the tree just as he ducked. There was no time to regroup, his uncle immediately coming at him. The green blade struck his as his uncle twisted it sharply, the move effortlessly wrenching his saber from his grasp. He stumbled back as it clattered to the ground several feet away, Luke between him and his weapon.

A wave of hopelessness hit him. He was going to die here. He was losing everything, failing everything. Then he took another step back, feeling the weight of a hilt tapping against his thigh.

His grandfather’s saber. The one that had called to Rey, that he had taken from Maz with the intent to convince his kitten that she needed to take it. That his father had stolen back from the Resistance and returned to him with his own saber.

He grabbed it, thumbing the ignition, the hilt humming quietly in his hand as the blue blade sprung to life.

“That doesn’t belong to you,” Luke’s voice was a low growl, his anger unable to hide the wide-eyed look of shock on his face as he recognized the blade. “You have no right to that.”

“Who does? _You_?” he sidestepped through the snow.

Luke’s nostrils flared, “It belongs to me.”

“Come take it then,” his said, voice low, before launching forward in an attack, blue now sparking against green as his uncle blocked his blows. Luke ducked, somersaulting by him and leaping to his feet again to attack him from behind. He saw it coming though, dodging the blow and swinging his saber, catching his uncle’s shoulder and slashing it open.

The wound was superficial, but his Luke’s eyes flashed with fury for a split second before the man was on him, blow after blow raining down with barely enough time to bring the blue blade up to block. With uncanny speed, Luke hooked the green blade against his, and twisted, in a repeat of the move that had disarmed him before. He was ready this time, holding the hilt firmly against the move. His focus on maintaining a grip on the lightsaber.

The effort it took to maintain his grasp distracted him enough that he didn’t feel the force push coming until it was too late.

His uncle’s left hand was raised, the force push slamming into his chest and sending him flying backwards, his saber-- still locked with his Luke’s-- was wrenched from his hand, flying through the air as he was sent slamming into a tree. Head cracking against the trunk and his vision whiting out at the impact.

Feeling himself, almost distantly, sliding down the the tree trunk into a heap on the ground. He opened his eyes, trying to force them to focus as he fumbled weakly to try to push himself up. Luke stood, expression somewhere between a maniacal grin and a snarl. He saw his uncle reach his hand out towards the blue lightsaber’s hilt, calling it to him.

It rattled against the snow and shot through the air, his vision blurred and he felt the world try to fade out. Blinking, he saw Luke was turned away from him now, anger flowing from him in waves through the force…

Rey stood between a pair of evergreens, the blue saber’s hilt in her hand. A wave of panic hit him and he tried to say her name, but the only thing that came out was a wheeze of air.

The last thing he saw as he faded to unconsciousness was her face illuminated by blue light.

 

* * *

 

“You don’t know what you're doing, _girl_.”

Luke prowled towards her menacingly. She took a deep breath, steadying herself the best she could, the saber hilt humming in her hand. It felt strange, the hilt heavy but the blade completely weightless. Yet it seemed the lack of weight it seemed to fight the air as it moved through it. It felt awkward, unwieldy, like a staff that was off balance.

It didn’t matter though, she was going to protect Kylo or die trying.

“I know what I’m doing. I’m stopping you, _old man_.”

“Foolish, insolent, _child_. The force is not done with you yet,” the green light of Luke’s saber reflected off his eyes. “It returned you to me for a reason-- you will be the first of many as I reclaim and rebuild what was taken from me.”

“Returned?” she narrowed her eyes.

“Put that weapon down, girl, you don’t know how to use it. Accept that your fate lies serving me,” Luke grinned, looking all the more insane for it. “You will be a part of something great, a servant to the Force as we bring its will to the galaxy.”

“Go kriff yourself,” she sidestepped warily.

Luke’s grin widened as his eyes flashed. One second he was six feet away, the next on top of her, the green blade coming down as she raised the lightsaber up to block, stumbling back of step. Luke’s eyes were locked on to her as she back and then circled. She launched forward with an attack of her own, the saber still awkward in her hands. Luke batted each blow away as if her strikes were merely an annoyance.

“It’s not a quarterstaff, _girl_. Wielding it like one will get yourself hurt,” he spat at her before lunging, driving her backwards she stumbled away, vaguely aware that at least she was getting distance between them and Kylo. Luke darted forward slamming an underhanded strike against her saber, nearly knocking it from her hand.

She secured her grip the best she could, realizing quickly as she stumbled back from each attack that he wasn’t trying to kill her. If Luke wanted her dead she wouldn’t be standing any more. No, his assaults were meant to intimidate her with his strength and to wrench the blade from her grasp. He hammered alternating overhand and underhand strikes against her saber, the force of the blows nearly knocking her over.

Around them the earth began to tremble, a section crumbling, trees falling into a forming abyss. The planet was beginning to destroy itself. Her eyes darted from Luke to her surroundings as she backed away, but Luke’s eyes never left her as he moved forward with a single minded focus.

“You want to know where you come from, girl?” Luke asked, slamming his blade against hers and sending her staggering back. “Want to know where I found you? Before they stole you away and dumped you where I couldn’t find you?” Her eyes narrowed at him and he flashed his teeth in what might have been a laugh, “Oh, I know who you are, who your parents were. They were fools that wouldn’t see reason, wouldn’t see their daughter was meant for a greater purpose. They left you to rot on that sandball, willing to leave you to suffer alone just to deny me.”

She could barely process what he was saying, the trees shaking around them and the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. “They left me to protect me from you, is that what you’re telling me?” Her voice was as snarl, her rage growing at the thought. Was it possible? Were they trying to hide her?

The ground shook and behind her a chasm opened as the ground collapsed. Luke moved forward, his saber catching against hers and jerking her forward off balance before locking the blades and shoving her towards the cliff edge.

“They did it to spite me. I tried to make them see reason, but they wouldn’t, they forced my hand,” he growled, leaning over her, the green and blue sparks raining down from their locked blades onto her chest. “You need a teacher, child. You need to be shown the ways of the force before your powers grow any further from your control. Submit, surrender to the destiny the force has put before you.”

Her eyes closed for a split second as she took a deep breath, feeling the energy ebbing around her. Then she opened her eyes and shoved hard with her mind as she dropped and spun. The force push was deflected, but it was enough to push him back a tiny bit. Just enough that she had time to roll away. She heard a snarl of rage and saw a flash of green as Luke swung his saber down at her.

A blinding flash of red lit the night, the red blade coming down to block Luke’s saber. There was a sound, a screeching growl that sounded more animal than human. As she scrambled to her feet she wasn’t sure if it came from Luke or Kylo, who had rushed in to block his uncle’s blow from her. Luke backed up, eyes wild and sinister. She and Kylo glanced at each other and before they both raised their blades towards Luke.

“If this is your choice, girl, so be it,” Luke growled, his eyes reflecting flashes of red and green and blue light. “I’ll kill you both.”

“Come and try, _uncle_ ,” Kylo spat, before launching himself forward. She came a split second behind him, following up his attack with one of her own. The two of them alternated, leaving Luke unable to break launch an offensive under the constant attacks. They drove him back, until Kylo was able to catch him off balance, slashing through Luke’s hip, leaving a glowing slash through his robe, the edges of the cloth left smouldering.

She saw an opening as the man staggered back, striking with a backhanded flip of her blade. Luke stumbled backwards, falling to the snow, his saber sizzling against it before the safety kicked in and the blade disengaged. A cauterized gash was carved from the man’s shoulder to his forehead.

Kylo took a step forward, saber raised, meaning to end it, to end Luke, when the ground around them shook and tore apart, a chasm forming between them and Luke. The ground under Kylo’s feet crumbled and he began to slip into the fiery chasm. She dove, catching his arm, hanging over the edge as his feet scrambled against the crumbling rock. Gripping him as tight as she could, she tried to pull him up but he was so kriffing heavy.

A pair of arms suddenly joined hers and she glanced to find a shellshocked looking Finn next to her. Together the two of them heaved Kylo over the ledge, all three of them collapsing in a heap together on the snowy ground. As they untangled themselves from each other, Kylo sitting up to glare across the abyss to where Luke writhed, still alive, out of his reach.

The ground shook again, and she shook her head, stumbling to her feet, “We need to get out of here.”

For a second Kylo just seemed frozen, staring across the chasm, before getting to his feet, “If there’s not a way around this,” he eyed the chasm, his voice exhausted, “we’re not going to be able to get to the Falcon.”

“We can still get to Luke’s ship, unless that path got blocked too,” Finn answered.

She nodded, grabbing Kylo’s arm and pulling him in the direction of Luke’s ship, “Yes. Come on, this way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad that Finn was mostly out of the fight, but given that he got a blaster shot in the last chapter and showed up in time to help Rey save Kylo, I guess he did enough.
> 
> There was an excessive amount of debate that went on in my head over who was going to get their face sliced open and who was going to be the one doing the slicing. I considered having Luke scar Kylo but then decided Luke really fucking deserved to be maimed a bit.
> 
> I'm almost sad thinking how close this story is now to being done. It's been such a fun ride, I don't want it to end.
> 
> Hugs and kisses to all my wonderful readers and commenters.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’re almost there,” Finn called as the ground shifted violently under their feet and the man’s feet slipped on the icy ground crashing hard to the rocky earth. He went over without hesitation, catching the man’s arm and hauling him to his feet so they could keep moving.
> 
> At the top of the rise, he looked back and froze. In the distance he could see the light of a ship, flying close to the ground. Closing his eyes tightly he opened them to see the Falcon landing not far from where the dark mar of fury disrupted the force.
> 
> “Kylo!” Rey caught his arm, tugging as she followed his gaze.
> 
> “He doesn’t know. Chewie doesn’t _know_.”
> 
> He felt her apprehension rising as she followed his gaze and connected the dots. Chewie was searching for them, for Han, and he’d found Skywalker. Of course he’d stop, of course he’d help him. And Skywalker would live to poison everyone with his lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, this is like the second to last chapter. Just the epilogue left after this. I can't believe it's nearly done.

Their journey to Luke’s ship was perilous. The path they took was direct but climbed steeply in places, and the at more than one point the ground practically crumbled under their feet.

He was almost too numb to care now, which might not have been a bad thing. The numbness was the only thing keeping the self loathing and sense of failure at bay. Luke was still alive. He could feel him, feel his fury radiating through the force even at this distance.

“He’s won’t survive, the planet’s coming apart,” Rey’s voice cut through and he realized he’d stopped to look back. Blinking at her, he said nothing, just started moving again. Somehow he didn’t believe that. Didn’t believe that the monster wouldn’t escape this, escape and live to grow strong again. Grow strong and hunt them down, all because he hadn’t managed to strike him down in time.

“We’re almost there,” Finn called as the ground shifted violently under their feet and the man’s feet slipped on the icy ground crashing hard to the rocky earth. He went over without hesitation, catching the man’s arm and hauling him to his feet so they could keep moving.

At the top of the rise, he looked back and froze. In the distance he could see the light of a ship, flying close to the ground. Closing his eyes tightly he opened them to see the Falcon landing not far from where the dark mar of fury disrupted the force.

“Kylo!” Rey caught his arm, tugging as she followed his gaze.

“He doesn’t know. Chewie doesn’t _know_.”

He felt her apprehension rising as she followed his gaze and connected the dots. Chewie was searching for them, for Han, and he’d found Skywalker. Of course he’d stop, of course he’d help him. And Skywalker would live to poison everyone with his lies.

She tugged on him again and he looked down into her eyes. Her hand came up and touched his cheek, “There’s nothing we can do about it now. But if we won’t be able to _ever_ do something about it if we don’t move _now_.” For a moment he just stood there, feet rooted in place, before he nodded and followed as she pulled him along.

Finn was already at the tiny transport. It was a two person model, clearly intended for short jumps rather than prolonged travel. He instinctively fell into the pilot’s seat, powering up the engines and prepping it for take off. Finn sat down in the copilot’s seat and Rey stood between the two of them, “Are you okay to fly?”

“I’m fine,” he said, his voice sounding flat, almost mechanical. A tinge of humor broke through the numbness, that maskless he might right now be sounding more robotic than with it on. The transport shook as the earth around it began to crumble. As they took off the ground below them collapsed, fiery flares leaping up from the collapsing planet below.

He wasn’t fine, but he was alive and Rey was alive.

Glancing up at her as he began to start a sharp ascent, “Hold on tight.”

A small hand squeezed his shoulder as he gunned the throttle, taking a steep trajectory upward. Below them the surface of the planet was vanishing, replaced by a sea of churning lava. If he understood the chain reaction that was taking place, they needed to get out of the atmosphere and get their distance from this place before it was too late.

He didn’t ease off once they broke free of the planet, instead still going as fast as the thrusters could go as he picked a place at random and typed in the jump coordinates. Where they were going right now really didn’t matter. Getting into the safety of hyperspace did.

As he activated the hyperdrive, the planet behind them collapsed into a churning mass of plasma that then exploded outward as the energy of the star the weapon had destroyed was reborn into a new sun. A shockwave rolled through space with the explosion, but the stars stretched in front of them before it reached their ship, and then there was nothing but the peaceful blue warbling light of hyperspace.

Next to him Finn exhaled a long breath before resting his arms on the copilot console and burying his head into them. He glanced at him, thinking that was a pretty good visual representation of how he felt right now, “I hope you locked those controls.”

“I did,” a muffled response came from between the man’s arms. “I’m not an idiot.”

A small, almost pained laugh left Rey and he grabbed her by the waist, and pulling her onto his lap as she squeaked in surprise. He smiled, feeling another twinge of emotion getting through the anesthetic over his mind, and then burrowed his face into the top of her head as she snuggled into him.

Whatever was going to happen next, he had his kitten with him.

Bathed in the blue light hyperspace tunnel, none of them moved for what seemed like a long time.

 

* * *

 

She wasn’t sure how long it was that she stayed like that, snuggled into Kylo’s neck. Eventually she wiggled free of his vice grip on her, shifting around to straddle his lap so she could face him. He kept his gaze downcast, resisting her slightly as she gently tried to tilt his head up to look at her. When finally met her eyes his own were wet and filled with grief and anguish and self-loathing.

“It’s not your fault,” she said, voice soft.

He looked away again, “I shouldn’t have let him go between us… I knew… I know… exactly what Skywalker is capable of. I should… I should have…”

She kissed him, cutting off whatever he was going to say, before pulling back again, “You aren’t responsible for the actions of that monster.”

“It doesn’t matter, in the end, she’ll believe him. They’ll all believe him,” he shook his head and let out a bitter laugh, “I told Han on Takadona if I saw him again I’d kill him. And I told her I would kill both of them. They have no reason _not_ to believe him.”

“It doesn’t matter what they believe, it doesn’t change the truth,” she forced his face back to look at her again. “I was there, I know what happened.” She nodded sideways towards the copilot’s seat, “Finn knows what happened.”

Finn lifted his head up enough to dart his eyes at her over his arm sitting up and rubbing his face with his hands. “Where are we going, right now, anyway?”

“Right now? Coridan system. It was random and a few hours jump away,” Kylo answered, voice dull and morose.

“Yeah, and what then?” Finn shifted uncomfortably.

“We can drop you at a port if you want?”

She leaned back, looking from Kylo to Finn, “Drop him… No!” She turned to Finn, “You’re not leaving! Where would you even go?”

Finn let out a bitter laugh, “Well, I was planning on going to the Resistance.” Kylo glanced over at him in contempt and she smacked him on his shoulder, giving him stern look. He raised his eyebrows at her, a hint of amusement in his eyes, as they listened to Finn continue. “Guess that might not be a good idea anymore. I, mean, I could go, try to tell them the truth of what happened…”

“They won’t believe you,” Kylo said, dismissively. “And that assumes you talk to anyone before _he_ gets to you. Because he’s not going to risk the slim chance that anyone might listen to you.”

“Great. Just…. Great,” Finn, sighed and laid his head back down on the console. “So I’ve got a psychopath on one side that’s going to want me dead and the entire First Order on the other.”

Kylo shrugged, “If you’re lucky, Skywalker might just wipe your memories, assuming he decides it’s worth the bother.”

“You can shut up now,” Finn’s voice was muffled by his arm.

“If you really want to go to the Resistance, I could make you forget what happened on Starkiller?” Kylo offered. She blinked at him a moment before she realized he was actually serious.

Finn lifted his head to look at Kylo over his arm, “You can do that?”

“No,” she said, forcefully.

“I can,” Kylo seemed indifferent and she felt utterly exasperated, “It’s been quite awhile since I’ve done it, but I can remove specific memories. If you’re not a threat to him he’d probably leave you alone.”

“No one is erasing any of anyone’s memories!” she said, sharply.

Finn and Kylo glanced at her and then each other and Finn sighed, “It’s probably a bad idea.”

“ _Probably?_ ” she glared at Finn.

“Probably,” Kylo agreed, and she shot him another stern look and the corners of his mouth crooked into a small smile. “You’re best bet is to head to the Rim and disappear.”

“Disappear,” she muttered, contemptful, before looking at Finn earnestly, “Don’t go.”

“He’s safer getting away from us, Rey,” Kylo spoke quietly. “He’ll be coming. He won’t stop till I’m dead. And you, he’ll claim you if he can and kill you if he can’t.” He glanced at Finn, “He might be a little annoyed you shot him, but really, the only danger you pose to him is having been a witness.” He shook his head, “He should run. We should _all_ probably run. He’ll be after us, Snoke will be after us, the Resistance will be after us.”

His voice had been flat and dead of emotion until the end, when they should all run, a trace of bitterness edged into his voice. She sat back on his knees, studying him, “Is that what you want to do? Run? Try to hide?”

Kylo looked away, his face twisting for a moment before he schooled himself, “We should--”

“I didn’t ask what we should do,” she snapped, cutting him off, “what do you _want_ to do?” Her fists clenched and she looked into his eyes with determination.

He blinked, startled for a moment before his face twisted, anger trembling through his voice, “I want to kill him.”

She nodded, “Good. Because I think he killed my family,” Finn jerked his head to look at her, and Kylo blinked, “And I plan on coming for him, not running.” She turned to look at Finn, “Will you help us?”

Finn looked between her and Kylo, “You, him, and me against the crazy space wizard, the entire First Order, and the entire Resistance? Us versus the kriffing galaxy?”

Kylo’s legs were vibrating slightly under her and she turned away from Finn to find him silently laughing. A pained laugh, from his expression, but a laugh all the same. And though there was still grief in those dark eyes, she saw familiar, malicious glint to them. “Yes, that sounds about right,” he agreed, his eyes never leaving hers. “He started this, _all_ of this, and we’re going to finish it.”

Finn rubbed a hand over his eyes, shaking his head as if he thought all of this was completely insane. And then with an expression that seemed to say that he thought he was crazy for what he was about to do, “Okay,” she looked over as he leaned back in his chair throwing his hands up, “I guess I’m in.”

She flashed him a smile and he shook his head and grinned.

Kylo slipped his hands around her hips, pulling her against his waist before leaning forward and kissing her before pulling back slightly, voice soft so only she could hear him, “My enemies are your enemies.”

A small smile played across her face and she nodded as he searched her eyes. “No mercy,” she answered, just as soft, before claiming his lips, rocking her hips against him.

The sound of a throat clearing broke them out of the moment and they both turned their heads slightly to look at Finn, who was averting his eyes away from them.

He rolled his eyes at them, looking slightly exasperated, “I think we’re going to need a bigger ship.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, obviously the ending is setting up for the next episode of the story. Unfortunately, I need to wait till the Last Jedi comes out before I can work on that one. I don't know if it's going to be possible to do the same thing I did with this story and TFA, where I interweave familiar scenes but with different characters and sometimes different outcomes, because the canon divergence is pretty wide now. But I feel like in the spirit of what I did in this story, I need to at least try. But that means you all have to wait till mid December before I can start working on that.
> 
> Setting up the sequel, we've got a really really pissed off evil Luke back with the Resistance, Leia certainly believing her brother that Kylo killed Han. Kylo, Rey, and poor third wheel Finn trying to figure out how to take Luke out while both sides of the war want their heads. We're going to also dive deeper into some of Rey, Kylo, and Luke's backstories.
> 
>  
> 
> A few other notes-
> 
> Rey saying Luke is going to die when the planet comes apart is a throw to Hux's inner dialog in the novelization on why he didn't bother going after Rey and Finn when he picks up wounded Kylo.
> 
> Kylo's we should run is a parallel to Finn's we all need to run that he said on Takadona in TFA.
> 
> My enemies are your enemies throws back to that chapter ages ago where Kylo told Rey that his enemies were her enemies and they would show them not mercy. Hope people remembered that line and it didn't seem odd dialog.  
>  
> 
> You've all been wonderfully to me throughout this story, XOXOXOXO to all my readers.


	45. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She kissed his wrist as he did so, but as soon as his hand pulled back, she sat up. He sighed, feeling the lost of her heat next to him, eyes tracing down to her chest and her pert little breasts, marred now with love nips and bruises where he’d marked his claim on her. She’d returned the favor, leaving plenty of her marks on him.
> 
> The last few weeks he’d been adrift on a stormy sea of emotions. There were times, especially when he was planning or plotting, figuring out their current short term goals and how they were going to reach them, where the sea turned calm and a haze settled over him. It often made him feel like he was standing outside himself, watching as what remained emotionlessly calculated the best course of action. Then there were moments when he was alone and the storm would come, threatening to drown him.
> 
> And then there were these moments, these moments with his girl, where it all washed away and for a brief while the sun broke through the storm clouds. It took him awhile to recognize the emotion at those times as happiness. He hadn’t been truly happy in a long long time. Longer back than he could even remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, it's done. I finished it. I don't know whether to be happy or sad.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the ride.

The afternoon breeze blew through the arched window, fluttering out the gauzy white curtain that hung in front of it and carrying in the scent of the sea and sun. It nipped against the sweat drying on his skin and despite the warmth of the room caused where it touched to pebble slightly into gooseflesh. His kitten snuggled against him, resting her head on his chest and tracing a finger lazily around his pectorals. The cooling breeze, the softness of the bed, the warmth of his girl--- it was one of the more blissful moments he’d ever experienced.

“We might want to get dressed before Finn gets back,” she murmured.

“He’s got his own room,” he muttered, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of the air wicking the sweat from his matted hair. Reaching down he brushed a damp curl of hair from her sweaty forehead.

She kissed his wrist as he did so, but as soon as his hand pulled back, she sat up. He sighed, feeling the lost of her heat next to him, eyes tracing down to her chest and her pert little breasts, marred now with love nips and bruises where he’d marked his claim on her. She’d returned the favor, leaving plenty of her marks on him.

The last few weeks he’d been adrift on a stormy sea of emotions. There were times, especially when he was planning or plotting, figuring out their current short term goals and how they were going to reach them, where the sea turned calm and a haze settled over him. It often made him feel like he was standing outside himself, watching as what remained emotionlessly calculated the best course of action. Then there were moments when he was alone and the storm would come, threatening to drown him.

And then there were these moments, these moments with his girl, where it all washed away and for a brief while the sun broke through the storm clouds. It took him awhile to recognize the emotion at those times as happiness. He hadn’t been truly happy in a long long time. Longer back than he could even remember.

“You were the one who wanted us all to talk once he got back,” she said, rolling off the giant bed and padding towards the ‘fresher. He watched her ass as she walked, marveling for a moment that somehow this beautiful little thing had ended up as his. For a second it crossed his mind to see if she’d let him join her in the shower, but then she looked over her shoulder, rolling her eyes slightly as she shook her head slightly. He smirked, she was getting good at picking up surface thoughts. 

He fell back on the pillows, staring up at the white tile ceiling of the suite, listening to the sound of the water running in the shower. The sea was starting to churn again, memories rising to the surface like waves breaking over him, threatening to drown him. He fought it by forcing himself to focus on the long term plan he was trying to develop. Sitting up, he pulled clothes out of a shopping bag, slowly getting dressed. He should probably shower but her scent was clinging to him and it soothed him. Kriff it. 

Standing in front of the mirror it seemed like a stranger was looking back. Rey had protested when she saw he was looking to buy all black, picking out a variety of colors for his new wardrobe. The long sleeved dark blue tunic, v necked with silver accents on the sleeves and collar, and the ivory pants had been two that she’d chosen for him. Running a hand through his mussed hair to fluff it out, he had to admit it looked good on him, and even more important it made him look like he belonged here. Just another rich playboy idling around the casinos. A playboy who tended to get lucky, as it was, with games of chance.

They’d arrived on Canto Bight with next to nothing to their names. He’d considered stealing a ship, but long term they needed better financing unless they wanted to resort to piracy and theft to get by. So instead he’d sold Luke’s little transport and made their way to the casinos and began to play the system. A force nudge to bounce the ball into the right slot or dice to fall the right way, a skim of someone’s mind to know what hand they held. They won big, enough to get a few looks from the security enforcers, but not enough for them to take action yet. Enough to get them settled in a room and for each of them to get some new clothes, and enough to keep playing with the next few weeks as they slowly accumulated the credits they were going to need.

It was a tricky game to play, with far more risk than the ones at the tables in the gambling halls. If they constantly won big, it would garner suspicion. Even if they only won in dribs and drabs, it would garner suspicion. Even if they opted to lose a little here and there, it would garner suspicion. Instead, he’d meticulously planned out a series of wins and losses, small and big, split between the three of them. Sometimes all three of them were down at once, him and Rey losing at one table while manipulating Finn’s game across the room so he won. Doing their best to make sure it all appeared random, all while the tally slowly ticked up in their favor.

As far as he could tell, it had worked so far. Although he’d noticed the attention starting to grow from the enforcers, which meant they had to wrap this up soon. If anyone started digging into them, it would only be a matter of time before the aliases they provided fell apart and someone figured out who they were, and who had bounties on their heads.

He had more than enough to buy a ship now. That would be the first thing. Then they would have one final blow out night here, cashing in their winnings and running, beginning to focus on their long term goals.

Or rather long term goal. For him, at least, it was a singular focus, to avenge his father’s murder and see Luke’s body dead at his feet. After that he didn’t care, as long as he and his kitten could remain safe, the rest of the galaxy could continue to set itself ablaze and the First Order and the Resistance could have at one another, his mother and Snoke could scrabble until there was nothing left but broken bases and shattered starships and burning planets. Kriff them. Kriff it all, let the gods sort them out, he and his kitten would forge a new path, a new understanding of how to look at this broken universe.

Whether or not his kitten would be willing to turn her back once they got their revenge, he wasn’t sure. Compassion was still her weakness, or her strength, depending on your point of view. And while she wanted to see Luke pay for what he had done to Han and for what he had hinted he may have done to her family, once that was done she might not be able to turn away from the suffering.

It was a bridge they’d cross when they came to it. Right now, they were all aligned on a common goal. Scanning himself in the mirror one last time before walking out of his and Rey’s room to the sitting area of the suite, picking up his datapad from the table and going over their current tally of credits, subtracting off the amount Finn was downstairs playing until he lost. Sating the powers that be at this place that the three newcomers hanging around were just occasionally getting lucky. He sighed as the water shut off in the next room, leaning back and turning on the holonet to the galactic news, taking notes on the various mentions of First Order and Resistance activity. 

Skywalker was still healing, he was sure of that, the wounds they’d inflicted on him would take more than a few days in a bacta tank to fully heal. But it was only a matter of time before the monster recovered and inserted himself into the mess. And once he did they would need to find him before he found them. 

He didn’t turn as she walked out of the room, leaning across the back of the couch he was sitting on. Her force signature seeming to intertwine with his own for a moment, light tangling with dark, complementing each other perfectly. Flicking his eyes at her he saw she was dressed in a loose, casual sundress that she somehow wore more elegantly than most women could a ball gown. Her hair was down and damp and it tickled his neck when she leaned over and pecked him lightly on the lips. “Anything worth really noting?” she nodded towards the holoscreen. 

“It’s all worth noting, kitten. In the end, the tiny things will be what link the puzzle together so we can see the full picture.” She snorted, climbing over the back of the couch to sit next to him. On the newscast they had begun to prattle on about how increased fuel prices were increasing the price of Mandalorian produce being imported to other worlds.

She tensed slightly next to him and he glanced down, seeing her eying the holoscreen while biting her bottom lip. “Rey?” he asked, snapping her attention to him.

“What do you know about the New Mandalorian Rebellion?”

He cocked his head at her, puzzled, “Not a lot, it happened when I was around fifteen. A brief uprising that was very bloody from what I understand, but was ultimately crushed by the government in power.”

She rolled her bottom lip in her teeth, “One of the things Luke hinted at, I think. That I’d been left on Jakku at the same time as the New Mandalorian Rebellion.” Turning towards him, she searched his eyes, “Could that be where I’m from?”

Sitting back, he frowned, “Maybe, or your family might have had some other connection, I don’t know…” He sighed, “I didn’t start travelling regularly at Skywalker’s side till I was sixteen, so if it was his operation I was still warehoused back at the academy temple.”

“His operation?” 

“That was Skywalker’s thing, that he was very good at, stir political unrest and spark internal conflicts. He’d use it to hide his actions beneath the carnage, punish those that defied him, or to manipulate the situation to get what he wanted.” Closing his eyes, he pushed aside the fact that it was only a matter of time before he began using this tactic anew.

“Would he have really incited a civil war to get me somehow? All the death and blood and carnage just for one person?”

“To get a powerful force-sensitive child? Especially if he tried to get you through… more polite… means and was denied?” He shook his head at Rey, “He’d have burned multiple worlds if he had to in order to get you then.”

She sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder, and he tucked his head down to brush a kiss to her damp hair, “We’re going to find you answers, one way or another.” A small smile flashed across her face.

The door to the suite opened and Finn strode in. He was dressed, like the rest of them, in clothes that were casual but still somehow implied wealth. A relaxed fitting ivory shirt, sleeves rolled up his arms, and brown pants. The man spread his arms, “I came, I gambled, I lost.”

He chuckled, “Good.”

Finn walked over to a chair across from them, sitting down and crossing his legs. The man had adapted very well to playing the part of the idly wealthy, even carrying himself now with a confidence that had been lacking the first week they were here. His lips twitched into a small smile. There were moments when the man’s presence agitated him, but more and more he was coming to like the Finn’s company.

“So what’s up? You wanted a meeting?”

Setting the datapad on the table, he leaned back, “We need to go ship shopping.”

“All good things must come to an end, I guess?” Finn chuckled, “I was starting to like it here.”

“It’s not safe for us to stay much longer. Once we have the ship, we have one blowout night and cash and run before someone decides we were too lucky.”

“I want to come with for the ship. I’ve got some ideas of what we should be looking for… fast, large enough for us to live on comfortably, and with firepower. It either needs to have those things or be something I can modify and improve,” Rey said, sitting up. She looked excited at the prospect. “Plus I know how to handle a price negotiation.” She winked, “You boys are pitiful at that, you proved it when we were at the market.”

He snorted, “We’ll all go. We need to be in agreement, it’s going to be all of ours.” 

Across from him he saw Finn’s smile widen slightly. The man was always happy when someone said anything that implied his acceptance with them as part of a team. 

“Okay, so we get our ship, a large pile of credits, and run off-- somewhere. What then?” Finn asked.

“I continue your training, to start with,” he’d been working with Rey’s force abilities, but had also started working on various fighting techniques with Finn. The man’s stormtrooper training was good, but there were places for improvement and for refinement for his melee combat, and he was finding Finn responding well and learning quickly. “Both of yours. Rey needs to learn to use her lightsaber and control her powers. You can still benefit from more melee practice” He shrugged, “And maybe you could give me and Rey some blaster training. I’m not a bad shot, but my last informal formal training was with my dad when I was still just a kid.” Finn straightened slightly at the that, clearly surprised but happy that they might be able to benefit from him.

“Given both Rey and I had to deal with having our force abilities suppressed and fighting our way out of enemy hands. We need to make sure we’re just as good at handling ourselves without our powers as with them.”

“I can do that,” Finn answered, unable to hide the excitement in his voice.

“Good, because we need to be ready,” his eyes flashed as he wrapped his arm around Rey. “Because then we’re going hunting.” A dark smile spread across his face, as he felt a cold determination set over him, “We’re going to go hunting, and we won’t stop until we have our prey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse me as I ramble a bit.
> 
> I really started this story with just the idea that's in it's summary. Take TFA and diverge it by changing what happened at San Tekka's village, and steer Kylo and Rey into one another. It took me a bit to get a clear sense after that of what I wanted to do, as future scenes popped into my head and lead me down an actual path of plot. I started to want to truly make this a flip script, where I am retelling TFA, with variations and retellings of familiar scenes, with shifts in characters so they're just slightly off from what was expected. With the exception of Luke, who I believe I kicked off the bridge in terms of his character, but it made him the perfect villain to introduce into this story, the unexpected villain, because no one thinks of Luke as going full crazy and dark.
> 
> I'm really amazed at how well it all seemed to fall in place and work. I hope others think so too.
> 
> A few general thoughts on the status I leave this universe in--
> 
> Finn's still a third wheel, but that wheel will be come an important part of this team. 
> 
> I couldn't resist a little visit to Canto Bight. I just loved the idea of our three musketeers getting a few quiet weeks of a working vacation as they began to prepare for whatever comes next. And Rey and Kylo deserved a few weeks of time to get to _really_ know one another. And it worked pretty well as a way for them to get some finances after escaping starkiller with Luke's transport and the clothes on their backs.
> 
> There's a sequel to this for sure (likely two of them for the next to movies). I intend to try with the next one to do what I did with TFA, using TLJ this time. I don't know if it's really going to be possible to do as much layered interweaving since we're in very different places now than the characters were at the end of TFA. But I intend to try, and even if it doesn't work out I will continue this story and write the next chapter, don't worry ;)
> 
> You've all been amazing readers and wonderfully supportive. I love you guys.


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